


The Reawakening

by LCEcstatic



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adult Content, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blood and Violence, Boarding School, Coming of Age, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship, Graphic Description, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, Love, Love Confessions, Military, Military Training, Military Uniforms, Multi, POV Alternating, POV Female Character, POV First Person, POV Multiple, POV Original Character, Pain, Past Torture, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Psychological Torture, References to Drugs, Romance, School, School Uniforms, Secret Relationship, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Torture, Trauma, Underage Drinking, Uniforms, Violence, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 144,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25385476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LCEcstatic/pseuds/LCEcstatic
Summary: It's been years since Master Xehanort's plan was foiled but new keyblade wielders are appearing and that can only mean one thing: war. Quickly, these recruits are forced to become soldiers at Valorsea Bastille. One girl in-particular winds up in this mess and with no background in combat or anything expected of her, her family manages to convince her to join the cause. We follow her, Sora and the others on this new mission to end the chaos. Can peace be restored or is the universe doomed to fall into darkness? [OC-Heavy, explicit content] (UPDATES currently at random - Once a Month)
Relationships: Kairi/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)/Original Character(s), Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 14





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING:
> 
> This story contains references to drug, sex, and violence as well as depictions of such. Please read at your own discretion.
> 
> Please Read, Review, Follow! All forms of criticism are welcome.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari takes the train to Valorsea Bastille, her nerves getting the best of her before her adventure even begins.

I could hear the chattering of excitable wielders all about me, discussing tactics that they may deploy, worlds they would visit. Although there were nerves in some of their voices, few if any, were as quiet as I was. Since I'd made this discovery I hadn't been able to speak, at least not anything worth listening to. I spent every day mindlessly following along to orders and every night gawking out my window in a cold sweat. I was terrified, terrified of what was to come, terrified of who I was.

I glanced out the window next me, large brick buildings of varies browns seemingly flying by. I'd never been to Orenda Citadel, I never intended to. It was a modern city supposedly the central hub of innovation behind it's old-fashion architecture, definitely not a place for me. Yet here I was, cowering behind a novel just like back home, but this time my mind wasn't swept away by stories and fairytales, this was real, this was my life class.

That's when I heard the dreaded chime of the train "Approaching Valorsea Bastille, approaching Valorsea Bastille. Please prepare for departure."

The voices rose, I could have sworn I'd even heard a few squeals. From the window I saw Orenda vanish as my cart was engulfed by the darkness of the tunnel. My heart was racing as the tracks of the train slowed, each turn of their wheels taking me closer and closer to the inevitable.

I closed my eyes, nuzzling my nose deeper into my book, silently praying that if this was all a dream I would soon wake from it. I didn't want to be here, I really didn't want to be here. I was never meant for a life like this, I was never meant to be.  
"This yours?"

I turned towards the voice of a tall, aero blue-haired boy with eyes to match. He held my rustic old suitcase I'd stuffed with my favourite novels and few clothes with ease. I nodded, blushing and quickly rose, muttering a thank you as I struggled to grab it. He nodded before reaching to grab his own bag and turning to go to one of the sliding doors. I sighed collecting myself and grabbed my mauve messenger back I'd had seated beside me on the train.  
Kids around me were gathering their luggage, making their way eagerly to the ivory doors of the train and as usual, I was behind. Quickly, I shoved my book into my bag and to a glance at my reflection in the glass window. My cherry red hair was a mess. Mari had been right, I should have cut it short before coming, but I loved my waist-length locks, it was my marker.

I clenched onto my chest, remembering the best friend I'd left behind but before the tears could form in my eyes, the train chimed again.

"We have reached Valorsea Bastille. Please exit the train for Valorsea Bastille."

The doors slid open but from where I stood behind the seas of elated teenagers, all I could see was a bright light. Slowly but surely the masses began to move out of the train and as I always did, I followed the crowd. Before I reached the doors I took a last sweep of my seat and saw it barren, not a single thing left behind./p

I sighed once more before facing forward at the hell that awaited me.


	2. Valorsea Bastille

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon entering Valorsea, Hikari is amazed by its sheer size. She bumps into Kairi and joins her tour group but at the end of the tour, she discovers she hasn’t been placed anywhere. With some coaxing from Kairi, the two end up sharing a dorm with Xion.

The building was immaculate. Large, tall stone columns and walls decorated in what seemed to be ornate gold trim in it’s crevasses. Before it, even in a sea of people we all seemed so small. It was nothing compared to the small outpost that had been setup back home. I tried to peak over some of the larger teens before me but at my short stature there wasn’t much I could see beyond the many baroque windows and the mastery of architecture that stood before me. I was dazzled by the sheer height of the ivory walls when I heard the buzzing of yet another intercom.  
“Attention! Attention recruits! Welcome to Valorsea Bastille! Please make your way to one of the five volunteers before you to begin your tour.”  
Five volunteers? I couldn’t even see one volunteer! I groaned, could I really not have grown a few feet taller before ending up at a military base. The kids around me began to disperse, making it much easier for me to see the large white steps. I was considering vanishing within the crowd and wandering off to have my own tour when I was swept away by a group of boys hurrying past me. I struggled to regain my footing when I felt my back hit someone.  
I turned quickly, hoping I didn’t manage to literally get on somebody’s bad side already. “Oh, sorry I—!”  
Looking back at me was another girl, roughly my height if not a tad taller with pale skin, ocean blue eyes, and short, bright red hair with side swept bangs. In that moment I was so glad I hadn’t listened to Mari about cutting my hair. We gawked at one another, examining each other, as if we were unsure of how to behave. I was startled but she looked shocked. Bumping into her was an accident, had I upset her that much?  
Nervously, I bowed my head, clutching onto my chest. “S-so sorry! It was an accident. I wasn’t paying attention.”  
“Ah,” I heard her chuckle. I peaked through my long eyelashes and saw her bowing as well. “I’m sorry! It was my fault!”  
“N-no, I’m so clumsy!”  
“Haha, no, I should have—“  
“Hey Kairi!”  
We rose together and turned behind me to see the smirk of another redhead, this time with spiky hair pulled together in some kind of ponytail. He was tall and lean but with broad shoulders, dressed in distressed black jeans and a simple black t-shirt. He was followed by a large group and began heading into the building behind us.  
“Don’t forget, last one to finish their tour is stuck buying dinner!”  
I turned to the girl before me who smiled through her frustration before looking at her group of roughly fifteen. “Let’s get started!” She said with a cheerful smile. She looked to me, as if asking for permission and unsure I smiled politely back. She ran up to the front of the group and waved, “hello everyone! My name’s Kairi and I’ll be leading your tour through Valorsea! Please try to keep it down as classes are in session and I’ve got a lot of history to go over. Come along!”  
With another bright smile, I watched as she hiked on forward in her peasant style off the shoulder baby pink dress, clutching on to the tablet in her hands for dear life. I wondered if she was just as nervous as I had been coming here. I shrugged, I didn’t want to get left behind and decided just to tag along to her group. I could explore later.  
We followed behind her and entered the building. It was just as beautiful inside as it was out with it’s deep red, almost brown walls, large windows and many doors.  
“So we entered from the south entrance of the main building,” I heard Kairi say. “We’ve got out own train line which only leads from here to the city. You’ll be able to access it once you get your passes, gummiphones and tablets tomorrow.” I could hear various quiet cheers of approval and honestly I was happy to hear it too. I never needed a gummiphone as I was always with Mari but when I was leaving, I knew I’d have to buy one but to receive one for free was definitely a positive.  
“Valorsea has everything you can think of: gyms to train in, an indoor and outdoor pool, the latest technology, a massive library and some of the best teachers to catch you up to speed so we can get you guys out there saving the worlds.”  
My stomach felt queasy as I followed along, that was the part I was afraid of most. I couldn’t believe it, not just saving one world but multiple. If I’d had my way I’d have kept this a secret but Mari and Lucas pushed and pushed and before I knew it, they were packing my bags.  
“Treat Valorsea like a mix of school and military duty,” Kairi explained. “We know this isn’t exactly how you pictured your lives but the worlds need you most now. Still, we want you to leave here a well rounded person.”  
We continued to march now, passing the gym where I saw students lash out on one another. It wasn’t many so I assumed it wasn’t a class but those in the gym fought with ease. I nibbled on my bottom lip, worrying if I’d be able to keep up.  
“The key is to get you into teams and that could be with a variety of people,” she continued. “Not every mission requires a fight, it could be finding someone, solving cold cases. We’re like warriors of the world and of course we have our main targets but it’s our job to be able to handle anything.”  
That was intimidating to think about. It was crazy to believe a bunch of kids were meant to be well-rounded and capable of almost anything. I was seventeen, there really wasn’t much I could do. My heart began to race thinking of difficult decisions I may have to make at a moments notice. We did have combat classes back home but I never took it seriously. I was only good with defending myself because that is all I ever thought I’d need.  
The tour continued with us circling the main floor and Kairi explaining some of the history of Orenda and Valorsea but I barely paid attention. My mind was already lost in my worries which led to feelings of regret.  
“You’ll be getting your schedules on Monday so take today and tomorrow to get settled in,” Kairi’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “We get days off, there’s always something to do so make sure you take this time to get comfortable.”  
I let out a sigh relief at the sound of that, she stopped us before a large map, seemingly of the outpost.  
“There’s maps all over but as you can see we’re in the main building which is three floors here. Most of the classrooms are on the second floor and then the top floor is reserved for the people in charge,” she explained. “These building surrounding this building are a mix of stuff, like these are dorms, the pool’s here, some meeting rooms. You guys are the last group so we don’t have much time to do a full tour. Follow me, we’re going to make our way to the head office.”  
We all started walking again, looking all around at the different rooms and people that passed us. Some rooms had open windows where we could see inside. Most were covered in wires and all kinds of technology I didn’t recognize. Soon enough however, we made our way to the front of a large office. Peeking inside it was nothing special, just two women and a man wandering from desk to desk with tablets in hand. It was a pristine, white space with more computer towers and their three desks at different parts of the room. A blue-haired woman leaned against their open window speaking to the man as Kairi turned to face us.  
“All right,” she grinned. “That brings us to the end of our tour. Please make a single-file line and I’ll let you know what dorms you’ll be staying in.”  
Everyone seemingly ran to stand before her but I was in no rush. I had no idea what the roommate situation would be like and was not looking forward to finding out. I’d never gotten along with people well. It wasn’t like I was mean or anything, I was just painfully awkward which in turn made me shy. I went into every situation hoping to be ignored, it was the reason why I only had one friend in Twilight Town and she was pretty much my sister. I took a deep breath, I hadn’t even considered that I was going to have to make friends here and with the nature of our work, it was mandatory.  
“Next,” I heard Kairi call out. I looked about only to find that I was the only one left without a sheet or headed to the dorms.  
“Oh,” she grinned at me. “You again. Name?”  
“Hikari,” I whispered, keeping my eyes to the ground.  
“Okay,” I heard her tap against her screen but it seemed to take her longer with me to find my credentials, figures.  
“Huh.” She muttered. “Where are you from?”  
I cocked a brow and looked at her, “Twilight Town.”  
“Oh!” She glanced at me and then her tablet once more. “I have some friends from there. It’s a really nice place.”  
I nodded slowly, only focused on her furrowed arched brows, what was going on?  
Seemingly, as if she read my mind she answered, “I can’t seem to find you in the system, hold on.”  
She turned from me and to the taller woman with azure blue, slicked back hair and another set of blue eyes. She was tapping away on her own tablet in knee high black boots, denim jeans, and a knit blue sweater. I watched Kairi approach her and whisper before the woman glanced at me quickly before her tablet. I sighed and set my suitcase down. My arms were killing me and carrying that thing around was surely going to kill me. I yanked down the sleeves of my off-white v-neck sweater dress and pulled my hair tie from my wrist. My long hair was weighing me down so I quickly wrapped the whole thing up in a ponytail as the two approached me.  
“Hi,” the woman smiled charmingly. “My name’s Aqua and Kairi tells me she can’t find your dorm.”  
I nodded but shrugged, I didn’t have an answer for them, I had no idea how or why I always ended up in these scenarios.  
“Well,” Aqua turned back to her tablet, she gave it a few strokes before sighing. “You’re definitely enrolled but for some reason we don’t have a room for you. What on earth is going on here?”  
Before I could stop myself I muttered, “maybe it’s a sign?”  
Aqua smirked and Kairi chuckled, if only they knew I wasn’t joking.  
“A sign or not,” Aqua responded. “We will get this sorted. We’ll just have to find a place for you—“  
“Wait!”  
Aqua and I turned to Kairi, her face shimmering with a smile. “Hikari can room with me and Xion!”  
“What?” Aqua asked. “No Kairi, all the new recruits have to stick together.”  
“Oh, come on Aqua,” she pouted. “We have the extra room.”  
“I-I don’t want to impose,” I insisted.  
“You aren’t,” she replied, her mind seemingly made. “Besides, it’s like you said, it’s a sign.”  
”I didn’t mean it like that,” I muttered but the two were no longer taking my advice.  
Aqua glanced between the two of us, Kairi’s grin, my unsure smile and sighed with a smirk. “Well, it seems you have your mind made up and I know even if I try to I won’t be able to talk you out of it.”  
She shook her head, “nope!” Kairi turned to me and reached for my suitcase. “Come on, before she changes her mind.”  
She grasped the handle just as I did and began waddling away with myself in tow, rushing towards an elevator.  
“Geez, did you pack bricks in here?”  
I chuckled, “Close, books.”  
—  
The halls of the dormitory building were covered in decorative crevasses and felt endless. All around Kairi and I were students getting to know one another and entering their own rooms. Everyone seemed so comfortable in the halls with wide windows and what felt like thousands of dorm rooms.  
“You actually got pretty lucky,” Kairi smiled, her white teeth seemingly gleaming. “The new recruits get stuck in the shared rooms but the rest of us get our own apartments.”  
“Apartment?” I asked.  
She nodded, “yup, we each have our own rooms and share a common space. It’s pretty small but really private which is nice.”  
My eyes widened, it sounded so luxurious. This whole trip I had been worried about having to make friends and sharing a space with new people, praying I could just hide under the radar but with a room of my own, it was nearly impossible not to hide away now. I felt a smile creep to my lips and turned my head to the floor. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad here.  
“Riku!”  
I stopped along with Kairi and looked forward to see a tall, attractive, strong young man approaching us. I was dazzled by his short silver hair and aqua-teal eyes, framed by thick black lashes. His jaw was strong and his stare almost sultry.  
“Just the girl I was looking for,” he smirked, his voice smooth and confident. “Axel told me you lost the bet.”  
Kairi pouted, “ha, ha. I only lost because I had the best group. They were very interested in my tour, right Hikari?”  
I blushed as their eyes met mine, quickly I turned away, “I-I guess.”  
“Oh!” Kairi giggled. “I always get ahead of myself. Hikari, this is Riku, my best friend and Riku this is Hikari, my new roommate.”  
“Roommate?” Riku eyes darted over my body and I felt my cheeks burn under my golden brown skin. “Does Xion know?”  
“Not yet,” Kairi responded. “But I’ll text her while you carry Hikari’s bag to our room.”  
Kairi dropped the bag effortlessly, causing me to lose my grip as well and pulled out her phone from a pocket of her dress. I admired the pink, sparkling case it was in and bright yellow star charm hanging off it. It reminded me of Mari’s gummiphone and the cases she was always switching it in and out of.  
Riku sighed as Kairi stepped forward, eagerly typing away on her phone. With ease, he lifted my bag and hoisted it behind his back. I stared on in wonder at his strength. He was tall, not as tall as Kairi’s friend Axel and just a few inches shorter than Aqua. His muscles flexed in his white button-up short sleeve shirt and he held himself so poised.  
“What?”  
Oh no! He’d caught me staring. “S-sorry,” I managed to mumble. “Thank you.”  
“It’s his pleasure,” Kairi grinned from in front of us. “Now come on, not much further now.”  
Riku smiled and gestured for me to step forward. I nodded and quickly followed behind Kairi and her speedy steps.  
“Yes,” Kairi cheered. “Xion is excited to meet you Hikari!”  
“Were those her exact words?” Riku leered. Kairi shot him a glare and he looked aside innocently. My hands felt clammy, I didn’t like her reaction. Was there something I should be afraid of?  
“Xion’s really nice,” Kairi responded, as if reading my mind. “She’s another one of my close friends.”  
I nodded still unsure when Riku grabbed my attention.  
“I’m kidding,” Riku confirmed, even he could see my hesitation. “She really is cool.”  
“And he’s not just saying that cause they’ve got a thing,” Kairi winked my way. In that moment, he lost his cool as his cheeks burned pink and Kairi laughed, myself even chuckling a bit.  
Riku quickly regained his composure and cleared his throat, “so Hikari, where are you from?”  
“Twilight Town,” I smiled. “I lived there with my best friend and her dad.”  
“Really?” Riku raised a brow. “Another wielder in Twilight Town and we didn’t know.”  
“We have another friend from there,” Kairi replied. “We used to go there a lot. Do you know a Hayner, Pence, or Olette by any chance?”  
I shook my head, I didn’t know anybody besides Mari because I was afraid of everybody but it’s not like I’d tell them that.  
“Just up here,” Kairi hiked ahead to yet another cherry brown wooden door. Riku and I caught up to see her slide her hand over a small silver screen. It lit up instantly and I watched her type in a few numbers quickly before we heard the door unlock from the inside. She grasped the handle and looked at me.  
“Ready?”  
I nodded, a smile forming on my lips from her dramatics.  
“Welcome home!”  
I peered inside the room and saw the clean but admittedly small common room. They had decorated it beautifully, with plants and trinkets, a fuzzy carpet on the ground. I stepped in and looked at the sheer curtains against the windows which led my eyes to the tiny kitchenette, just enough space for the basics, a fridge, small oven, toaster, microwave, sink and some counters and cabinets. The walls were painted cream and the wood of the kitchen more of a bone white with grey countertops.  
I spotted their dining table, a round marble table with wire legs and four modern, grey eames armchairs, each with a fluffy pillow on their seating. Past the kitchen was a small hallway I assumed led to the bedrooms and in the living area were two doors on either side of the room. I began walking up to the center of the room where a lilac purple velvet sofa sat with matching armchairs to either side framing their centrepiece of a television sat on a low, flat grey coffee table with a huge mirror above it and hanging deep green plants on each side of it.  
“Wow,” I whispered, my eyes so large I thought they might fall out of my head.  
“I know right?” Kairi gleamed. “It took me and Xion months but we finally managed to make this place feel like home. You should have seen it before.”  
“Is every room like this?” I asked, sliding my hand over the smooth velvet of the couch.  
Kairi snorted, “no, you should see his pigsty.”  
“Hey,” Riku frowned.  
“Riku?” I looked forward to the voice where a girl emerged from the darkness of the hall. As she approached my brows raised, she was the spitting image of Kairi, minus the red hair. Unlike Kairi, she had short cropped black locks and was dressed in black denim shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt with one side tucked away.  
I turned to Kairi and she waved away my confusion,” long story,” she said simply. “Xion, this is Hikari.”  
She looked at me intensely, almost as like she was reading me to see if I was a threat. I felt my throat tighten and managed a shy hello. My timid demeanour seemed to catch her off guard as she grinned and approached, far more open than prior to.  
“Hi,” she responded. “Nice to meet you.”  
“You too.”  
“Let’s show you your room,” Kairi quickly took a hold of my wrist and led me forward. We marched along the short hallway as she explained, “the one on the right is me and the left is Xion. Another friend was supposed to join us but plans changed. You’ll meet her though, we’ve always got everyone over because our room’s the best.”  
“Always?” I croaked. There went my plans of escapism. She didn’t seem to hear me as she opened the door. I was greeted to another room, far less decorated than the common room but with a bit of sprouting up I could manage. The bed had a fresh set of burgundy sheets laid on them and the simple frame matched the rest of the wood of the apartment, cherry red there and on the dresser, nightstands, desk, and bookshelf. I approached the shelf and was happy to see it standing tall, plenty of space for my stories.  
“I just put on the sheets when Kairi told me you were coming,” Xion admitted.  
“Thank you,” I responded, my mind was far away, immersed in this new space. For the first time I felt excited. I was inspired by the rest of the apartment and couldn’t wait to hit the shops and make this place actually feel like home. I’d been saving so much, I was never a big shopper and if I had to start this journey I at least wanted to start it comfortable.  
I turned to the three standing at my doorway and staring at me with smiles and managed to say with confidence, “thank you, all of you.”  
“Anytime,” Riku said as he placed my bag on the ground. “I gotta get going but I’ll see you guys soon. Don’t forget Kairi, foods on you.”  
She waved him away as Xion chuckled, “I’ll walk you out.”  
I walked about the room, examining every piece of furniture, looking to my closet and pulling it’s sliding doors. There was far too much space for clothes for me, I began to wonder if I should pick up some new outfits.  
“So what do you think?” Kairi asked, breaking me away from my thoughts.  
“It’s wonderful,” I answered. “You did amazing.”  
“Thank you,” she mumbled but I noticed the change in her voice. I looked to her to see a puzzling look on her face.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Y-yeah,” she blinked, snapping out from her trance. “Hey, Hikari? This is going to sound weird but have we met before?”  
I cocked a brow, “I don’t think so, why?” I was confused by her question, I was sure if I’d met her I would have definitely remembered someone like her with her bubbly personality and joyful spirit. She was a lot like Mari, carefree and kind.  
“It’s nothing,” she shook her head but didn’t seem satisfied with my answer. Quickly, her tone changed back to cheerful, “I know you’re nervous but you’re going to love it here and you’ve got me and Xion to look after you so don’t be scared.”  
Xion approached behind Kairi, “we gotta get ready. Did Kairi tell you we’re going out for dinner, Hikari?”  
I smiled, “I heard.”  
“Oh,” Kairi chuckled. “You’re welcome to join Hikari. You can meet everyone.”  
“Uh, I think I just want to relax a bit,” I answered, setting my bag down on my new bed. “It’s been a long day and I’m pretty tired.”  
“All right,” Kairi pouted, I could tell she was disappointed but the thought of meeting more new people today made me queasy.  
“Well, if you do decide to go out,” Kairi smiled. “The door code is 808694.”  
“808694,” I repeated. “Got it.”  
“We’ll let you get settled then,”Xion seemingly understood as she closed my door quietly behind them. I let out a deep breath and fell onto my bed.  
I was finally here and I’d managed not to embarrass myself, at least not too much. As nervous as I was I did feel some excitement within me, so much so I found the energy to unpack. I arose and went straight for my books, I wanted to set them up quickly and then worry about my clothes.  
As I unzipped my suitcase I couldn’t help but think about the eager eyes and smiles I saw on people’s faces during my tour. Everyone seemed so sure of themselves, careless about their futures being rewritten for them. I wished I could find that need for adventure within me, that desire that made me believe I deserved to be here. It just wasn’t me, I wasn’t meant for this.  
I stood and sighed, my clothes could wait, I needed to take a walk, clear my head. Suddenly this room was making me feel claustrophobic.


	3. Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari meets a strange boy who she only is introduced to as Roxas once he walks her back to her dorm where they find that his friends are her new roommates.

Somehow, mainly by following the signs in the wide empty halls, I managed to make my way to the library. Was it strange to be excited? This place would be my real home away from home and I just had to inspect it.

I approached the large, engraved dark brown doors and pushed one open. Although heavy I managed and crept inside. Before me were books galore on shelves that seemed to reach the ceiling. It was a dark space with it’s deep red and brown decor but lamps with lights to brighten the space. I could spot mahogany tables and chairs each with their own lamp, a clear glass bowl protecting the bulbs.

I walked past a large, tall desk where a man sat with dark rimmed glasses. He nodded politely towards me but it was clear he was focused on the computer in front of him. I peeked over the desk and spotted his wooden table covered in files and pens. He must have been busy, possibly ordering new novels. It was fine, I came to explore, I didn’t need an introduction.

I made my way down the main hall, spotting more wooden desks with chairs and burgundy couches tucked away in dimly lit corners. I would see someone every now and then but nothing exciting. From the corner of my eye I saw a spiralling staircase, headed upstairs where countless books remained. In no time I was grasping the railing and made my way up.

This floor was much like the lower one, dull but beautiful. Seemingly, it was pretty empty up here so I decided I would stay out of sight upstairs. I was between shelves, running my fingers over the spines of stories, making a mental checklist of what I’d have to read. My eyes would scan through the shelves and glimpse at the ladders perked against them. I’d gotten in trouble at the local library in back home for never waiting on someone to get a book for me off the top shelf. It seemed here we were allowed to be more self-sufficient. I continued to wander before setting my sights on a large black spine with a shimmering gold print. I hadn’t seen this before and pulled it from the shelf.

“Apocalypse…” I muttered the title and shrugged. I’d never heard of it but the plain cover and decorative font was enough to convince me to give it a read.

“It’s just not going to work?”

I froze, someone was here? Of course someone was here, it was the school library! I could hear my heartbeat’s low thump in my ears as I looked for the source of the voice.

“Yeah, I mean ever since we became whole, it’s just not been the same.”

I raised a brow, whole? I took a step back, only realizing that I’d been leaning in to hear the conversation. My head shook, what was I doing? This was clearly a private conversation and here I was being nosey.

“So it’s over then?”

The voice, I realized, was deeper as I foolishly stepped forward; it was guy. Whatever was over had him quite relieved by the sounds of it.

“No, I want you to be happy, I want to be happy.”

I clenched the book I held closer to my chest, as if it could somehow silence me as I tried to innocently take another step forward. This sounded like a breakup to me and I wanted to see who the mysterious caller was.

“No, you guys have fun tonight,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna hang out here… Okay, bye.”

I could hear him sigh but his voice faded and I heard him walking. The steps grew louder as I realized he was walking towards me. Quickly I turned to a shelf pretending to read the spines, reminding myself to keep it casual, not make it obvious I’d been listening in. The steps got louder and suddenly I felt a force against my side.

“Oh, sor—!“

“Sorr—!”

He stood before me, the voice from before. He was average height, tall to me but shorter than Riku, and lean in his grey sweatshirt and ripped black jeans. He had peachy skin with cherry red cheeks from his embarrassment, wide ocean blue eyes, a straight, pointed nose, full lips, and blond spiked hair swept to the side. He stood so close to me and smelt wonderful, earthy, like rosewood.

“Sorry,” he smiled, resting a hand on the back of his neck. I spotted his straight, white teeth, even those were perfect!

“No,” I bowed my head. “It was my fault, I wasn’t paying attention.”

He cocked a brow, as if he was surprised about something. Was it my voice? I knew my voice was high but it didn’t sound weird did it?

“I mean I bumped into you,” the boy smirked and glanced down at my arms. “Apocalypse?”

I was confused and suddenly remembered the book I’d picked up. “Oh, yes. I just found it.”

“It’s a good read,” he responded. “Pretty dark though.”

“My favourite,” I declared. Just because he was attractive like seemingly everyone here didn’t mean I’d play dumb.

“Really?” He asked. “Huh, I wouldn’t have expected that.”

“Well,” I smiled. “It’s always the one’s you least expect, right?”

“Guess so,” the boy mumbled, an intrigued smile on his lips as he walked by me. I turned back to the shelf, smiling to myself. Mari would be so proud of me, back home I never spoke to boys. They made me anxious and today I’d managed to speak to two, one even by myself. I was excited to tell her when I finally got the opportunity to call her.

“Hey.”

I looked in the direction of the blond boy who stood a few feet away. “Yeah?”

“Wanna see something cool?”

Immediately, I couldn’t resist. I found myself nodding and walking towards him and he led the way. As we walked I couldn’t help but look around, still empty halls just filled with books.

“It’s just ahead.”

I looked forward and saw we were reaching a locked door at the end of a hall. I turned to him with a confused look.

“How exciting,” my voice mumbled.

The blond chuckled, dug a key out from a nearby plant and unlocked the door. I heard the click as he pulled it open and felt a gust of wind. A short stare was above us and I glanced at him, confused. He urged me to step out with smirk and although cautious, I walked through the door and up the stairs to see the outside.

The view was incredible. I could see the courtyard of the building before it led to a line of trees and then those same buildings I saw on the train. I was amazed by the new perspective. The sky was so blue from here, no clouds really to block your view. From the roof I could get a full scope of campus and just how massive it was. I saw the dorm building I was supposed to be staying in towards the east and behind it a large brick fence that was meant to keep the danger out. From here it looked weak, completely defenceless but down below it must have been grand. I noticed the seemingly endless forest to the left with it’s dark evergreens it looked like a massive bush. Everything was so small, even the buildings which made the people almost invisible.

“I think this place used to be open to the public,” I heard him say from behind me before an odd clunking of a machine. I glanced behind my shoulder and saw him walking towards me from two vending machines, snacks in hand.

“But they closed it and no one ever really comes here,” he said standing by my side, looking ahead. “Just me, my friends sometimes and now… You.”

My lips parted as I looked to him. He smiled and I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold back a forming grin but it was useless. He bent down, taking a seat on the edge of the building, feet dangling freely and gestured for me to do the same. I tucked in the skirt of my dress and sat next to him. He’d opened a bag of what smelt like ketchup chips only confirmed when he pulled one out and ate it.

“What do you think?” He asked after swallowing.

I nodded with approval, “you’re right, it is cool.”

“Told you,” he said and passed me a can of sparkling soda and a vanilla cream pastry wrapped in a decorative paper.

“Hope you like vanilla,” he muttered and opened the chocolate version of the desert.

“Oh, no,” I said. “You didn’t have to get me this…”

He opened his can of pop and insisted, “take it as an apology for almost running you over.”

“An apology, huh?” Shrugging I opened my can and took a sip. The cool, refreshing bubbles hit my tongue and I smiled. “I guess I have to forgive you then.”

“Looks like it,” he nodded slowly. “So what brought you to the library? I wasn’t expecting to see anyone there today with the new recruits.”

I chuckled, “yeah, I’m that girl. The one who rather spend all her time with books. Cliche, I know.”

“Super cliche,” he replied taking another drink as I reached for a chip.

“What about you? You’re the one who was brooding all by yourself.”

His eyes glimpsed at me for a moment before he sneered, “guess I’m cliche too.”

“Super cliche,” I mocked and munched away on the pastry he’d brought me, surprised to find a sugary center. It was delicious, flaky and soft with a smooth cream filling.

“Just wanted to be alone I guess. My friends all went out and I just don’t feel like being there, y’know?”

I nodded and took a swig of my drink. “Absolutely, my roommates tried to get me to go out but I barely know them. It’d be too awkward.”

He raised a brow and gestured between the two of us, “so what is this?”

“Shh, the irony doesn’t escape me.” We laughed together, the situation was odd. One minute I was going to check out a book but now I was eating the snacks of a perfect stranger on the edge of a building.

“You said roommates,” he pondered. “Are you new?”

“Yeah, a brand new totally lost recruit.”

“How do you find it so far?”

“Honestly,” my eyes scanned the blur beneath our feet. “It’s overwhelming. I really don’t feel like I belong here.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I know the feeling.”

“Been here long?”

“Too long,” he muttered. “I don’t hate it, I know it’s my duty or whatever but it’s exhausting. Not just physically either. It’s school but then you’re also preparing for a war that’ll probably never come.”

“I hope you’re right,” reaching for another chip, I placed it in the center of my pastry. “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for it if you’re wrong.”

“At least you won’t be alone,” he shrugged. “And the way they train you here? You’ll be kicking ass before you know it.”

I couldn’t hide the disbelief on my face causing him to burst into laughter. “Laugh it up and the only ass I’m kicking is yours.”

Grinning, he raised his hands in defeat, “Okay, okay. Hey, if all else fails just throw books at them.”

“That isn’t such a bad idea,” a smirk came to my lips before biting into my savoury-sweet creation.

“Really?” I could hear the sarcasm in his voice but only shook my head.

“Try it before you judge me.”

He sat silent for a moment but from the corner of my eye I saw him reach into the chip bag before stuffing a chip into his desert.

“If I hate this,” he taunted. “You owe me.”

“I make no promises.”

Snickering, the boy bit into it and I watched his face go from confusion to satisfaction.

“See?” I gleamed. “Sweet and savoury!”

“Mmhmm,” he agreed, going for another chip. I laughed and did the same. When it came to food, nothing was better than combining things that shouldn’t go together.

“It’s like dipping fries into ice cream,” he licked his lips, causing me to blush slightly. I’d almost forgotten that I was sitting here with a guy, especially a good looking one, this was so unlike me. With everything that had happened before I’d come to Valorsea I would have never expected to be near a guy again. Was there something in the water here?

“Is that too weird a combo?” His voice shook me out of my thoughts.

“Not at all,” I answered. “More salty and sweet, kind of like this ice cream I know.”

“Sea salt ice-cream?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed. He turned to me, surprised by my excitement and I blushed again. “Haha. Sorry. I used to have to have it all the time with my friend.”

“Same,” I heard him chuckle. “They’ve got it here too.”

“Really? The same blue colour and everything?”

The blond bobbed his head up and down, looking to the sky slowing turning pink. “Exact same and they’ve even got it in other colours, like different fruit flavours. Those are more sour than salty though.”

“I really have to check it out,” I said, taking another drink. “I’ve gotta get stuff for my room so maybe I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“Definitely,” I heard him agree. “This whole town is more like a city. There’s everything here. Every time I think I’ve seen it all it’s like something new pops up.”

“That’s exciting. At least there’s always something to do.”

“Yeah,’ he agreed, his eyes far off in the distance. “But it’s just like campus, just too much sometimes.”

“Like sensory overload,” I ate the last bit of my pastry and reached for my drink once more. “It makes it hard to focus.”

“Exactly,” he sounded exasperated, I found myself pouting as I heard the tiredness in his voice. “You ever just feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders?”

“Since the Reawakening.”

“Hm,” I heard him slurp against his can and looked at his profile. His features were almost perfect, nothing out of place. As if seeing Kairi and Xion everyday wasn’t going to be bad enough I was already feeling insecure yet again. “Reawakening… Why would they even call it that? We’ve been awake, you can’t just take our lives away and make us start over.”

“Right?” I agreed. “It’s like not only did you take away our dreams, now you’re saying whatever they were never mattered.”

“It’s just bullshit,” I watched the agitation on his face as his arched brows furrowed. “All of it, the reawakening, this place, the _war_ , it’s just bullshit.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I lifted my legs, placing my heels on the edge of the building and wrapped my arms around my calves. “I already hate it here. This place took everything from me.”

“That’s all it does, huh?” He leaned back on the palms of his hands. “We should take it all back.”

I turned to him and rested my cheek on my knees. “How?”

He sniggered, his eyes meeting mine, “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

Chuckling, I responded, “well it’s clear you won’t be leading any teams.”

He shrugged, carefree with a spirited smile. “So, what was it?”

“What was what?”

“Your dream,” he answered. “The one we’re so desperately fighting to get back.”

I inhaled, brows raised and then creased. What was my dream? Had I ever had one? I always pictured my life just revolving around Mari. Maybe we’d open a business for the clothes she always wanted to sell but never found the courage. She’d be a seamstress and I’d manage the counter; it wasn’t an exciting career but I didn’t need excitement. As long as I had my best friend I was happy. Pulling my legs back down and placing a hand before my lips I answered, “honestly, I don’t know yet.”

“Same,” he admitted. “I just know it wasn’t this.”

“I just want to be home, with my best friend. She’s all I’ve been able to think about since I got here.”

“That has to be hard,” his eyes met mine with sympathy. “I was lucky enough to have all my friends here.”

A sad smile came to my lips, “it’s alright. Everything happens for a reason right? Maybe I’m meant to find a new dream, one of my very own.”

“You will,” he said, confident. “I think we both will.”

I watched the clouds disperse as the sun began to sink, “if not, we’ll just open a business putting weird foods together.”

He laughed, causing me to giggle, “what’s our first product? Pickles and nacho cheese?”

“Hm,” I thought it over. “Not weird enough. What about fish and cake?”

“Oh no,” he sniggered. “Absolutely not. That’s disgusting.”

We laughed once again and the skies pinks melted into a purple and stars began to fill it. I watched him, the joy in his eyes staring back me, still disgusted but definitely amused. A grin formed on my lips and I turned away, was this what it was like making friends? I was always a tag along, I never did any work. Mari had always come to me, dragged me about to her friends and with enough whining I’d agreed.

I felt the boy nudge against me, getting my attention once more.

“Look,” he said, pointing forward.

The sun setting before us and we’d caught it just as it was dipping out of sight. It was beautiful the colours that faded into the night sky that now swirled with blacks and deep blues.

“We should get going,” he rose quickly and held out his hand to me. I blushed but took his hand, my palm was hot against his smooth skin. I adjusted my thigh-high cream socks as he picked up our trash and we made our way inside the library once again, stopping to throw out our garbage.

“What dorm are you in?” He asked as we climbed down the spiral steps.

“I’m not sure of the number,” I chuckled awkwardly. “But I know it’s in Ellingsor Hall. I’ll know it when I see it.”

“Oh, I’m just across from there in Rayfell,” he said. “Weird, I didn’t know they were putting recruits there.”

“They aren’t,” I admitted as we approached the front desk. “Just a weird mishap that worked out for me.”

He waited aside as I checked out my book and together we walked down the hall, headed to our own rooms.

“Well at least you’re in an apartment.” I nodded, he was right. “You’ve got privacy at least.”

“Yeah, pretty different from home to be honest.”

“How so?”

“Oh, my best friend,” a smile came to my lips remembering Mari’s bursts of energy in the mornings with her need to fill me in on any gossip. I swear she was the one who made me nosey. “We had our own rooms but that never stopped her from entering mine.”

The boy groaned, “I know what that’s like.”

“You got some nosey roommates?” I smirked.

“Ha, no,” the boy rolled his eyes. “When you’re nosey, you hide it. They’ll just enter my room and demand to know all of my business.”

“Oof,” I caught myself sniggering. “That’s the thing about rooming with friends. They feel less like your friends and more like annoying siblings.”

He agreed, “wasn’t always like that.”

“You had a single apartment?” I questioned. “Is that a thing?”

“No,” he clarified. “Well yes. I mean, yes you can have a single room but I never did. Back home I lived on my own.”

“Ah, makes sense,” I replied, an itching question in my throat. “So, don’t want to get all in your _business_ but where is home?”

“Tsktsk,” that half smile returned to his lips. “You’re nosey too, huh? Should have known.”

“Curious!” I insisted, clutching my book closer to my chest. “Nosey? Me? Never.”

He let out a low chuckle before answering, “this small town, like a legitimate town literally called Twilight Town.”

“Twilight Town?” A large grin spread across my face. “Oh my god, that’s my hometown.”

“For real?” He questioned. “I used to go there all the time to visit some friends after I left.”

“Yeah,” I replied sincerely. “I’ve lived there my whole life. Have you ever been to the Clocktower?”

“I practically lived there,” he began to reminisce, his eyes getting that far away look again, this time far more elated. “Small world, huh?”

I nodded in agreement, “yeah, it is. I’ve never seen you there, when did you last visit?”

“A couple weeks ago actually,” he admitted. “And to be fair, it’s a pretty _big_ small town.”

I caught myself laughing uncomfortably, placing my hand before my smile. “Right, it is. Sorry, one of my roommates asked me about if I knew some people and all I could think was ‘I never went around collecting names’.”

He snorted, clearly taking enjoyment from my sarcasm. “I mean you could have, she doesn’t know.”

“You’re right, that’s what Twilight Town needs, an official name record keeper,” we chuckled together. “I know she didn’t mean any harm. She was just trying to make conversation with the new weird girl that lives down her hall.”

“Weird girl?” He responded. “Is that what you recorded your name as in the record book?”

“Oh yes,” I nodded, puffing out my chest and imitating some kind of authority. “And I’ve got you down as… Sadboy.”

“Haha,” he nudged my shoulder with a playful smile and I grinned towards him. This had been so nice, just talking, meeting someone who was so easy going. There’d been no pressure whatsoever.

“So weirdgirl,” I caught him smirking, his ocean blue eyes studying me. “Is that your birth name?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Actually,” I caught myself staring back at those eyes, almost entranced by him as he spoke. “I would.”

I bit my lip, trying to keep my composure but I couldn’t help by stare at him, “my name is—“

“Roxas! Hikari?’”

We turned forward, down the hall to see Kairi, Xion, Riku and three others I didn’t recognize. I peered closer and realized the tallest amongst them was the red-head from before. I focused my eyes on the boy beside Kairi, he had to be as tall as the blond beside me and looked eerily familiar to him, the only difference being his spiky brown hair and lightly tanned skin. He wore sneakers, navy jeans and a red hoodie, his expression as confused as the rest. Who really knocked me off guard was the boy that stood next to him, a spitting image of the guy I’d spent my evening with but in a light denim pair of jeans, white shirt, and a deep green bomber jacket with a white pair of high top sneakers. He smiled casually but was also lost.

“H-hey,” the blond with me muttered and began to approach them, I followed.

“What are you doing here?” Xion asked.

“You missed out on dinner,” the redhead smirked and leaned against the wall beside him. “But it looks like you made other plans.”

His face went red and mine burnt equally as bright, I couldn’t take so many people staring at us like we’d done something suspicious.

“We just met actually,” he replied, quickly regaining his composure.

“At the library,” I added in a poor attempt to be helpful.

“Oh,” Kairi glanced between the two of us. It felt as if she almost didn’t believe us. “Well you guys should have come to dinner, even if it was on my dime.”

“Don’t make bets with Axel,” the brunette boy grinned. “He’s a cheat.”

“I never cheat,” the redhead exclaimed. “I just win.”

“Did you guys at least get something to eat?” Xion asked. “If not, we’ve got leftovers.”

I nodded, about to answer when the blonde beside me spoke.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “I took her to the roof.”

Instantly the faces of the group turned back into surprise and I turned to the boy but he wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“The roof?” The other blond chimed in. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” his voice was almost a whisper but he cleared his throat. “So how’s Namine?”

His eyes were cold as he glared at the blond who turned from his stare immediately. I cocked a brow from watching the exchange but remained silent.

“She’s good,” Kairi answered, clearly uncomfortable. “All things considered.”

He nodded absently and I was tempted to ask if he was alright due to the agitation I could see in his eyes but it didn’t feel as if it was my place.

“Anyway,” Kairi smiled once more, quick to bring up the mood. “Looks like you’ve met most our friends, Hikari.”

“Oh,” I shrugged with an unsure smile. “I guess.”

“She’s gotten ahead of herself.” Xion giggled and gestured to each person as she named them. “Hikari, this is Sora, Axel, and Ventus.”

My eyes searched between them, trying to memorize their faces, “hi.”

“Just call me Ven,” Ventus grinned, even his smile was just like the boy but far more joyful than the grouch I’d met. “We’ve heard a lot about you,”

“Yeah,” Sora added. “Kairi said you’re from Twilight Town, same as Roxas?”

I nodded and turned to the blond with a devilish smile, “same as Roxas.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” he smirked. “Hikari, right? That’s your name.”

“Sure is sadboy,” I muttered.

“Good to know weirdgirl,” he responded with ease.

I rolled my eyes playfully as Riku spoke. “We should head to our rooms,” he said. “Before the night guard catches us out here and we end up getting lectured.”

“Right,” Sora agreed.

Roxas and I awkwardly stood aside as they said their goodbyes. I looked at him once more and from the corner of his eye I could see him watching me. I blushed and quickly went to stand with Kairi and Xion.

“Have a goodnight guys,” Ven waved.

“Goodnight,” Kairi replied, Xion and I both waved as the others said their goodnights as they headed down the hall, all but Roxas. He walked backwards alongside them, his eyes on me with a challenging smile.

“Goodnight, Hikari.”

I met him back with a grin of my own, “goodnight, Roxas.”

We watched them until they left the hall, I couldn’t keep my eyes of Roxas as he turned back to his friends. It was crazy to think we’d spent an evening together and I’d never even asked his name. We just had gotten so lost in conversation it had never occurred to me to ask. Still, he would always be sadboy in my eyes, the grump.

I heard our door unlock and followed Kairi and Xion in.

“When did you meet Roxas, Hikari?” I heard Xion ask as I was slipping off my boots.

“Just after you guys left actually,” I answered. “I got tired of packing and went for a walk.”

“That explains why he wasn’t answering our texts,” Kairi explained to Xion but she didn’t look convinced, had I done something wrong?

Quickly I responded, “yeah, we kind of lost track of time. Anyway, I’m exhausted.” I faked a yawn and slid my feet across the hardwood floor, almost running to my room. “Goodnight guys!”

I whipped the door open and shut it behind me. I even turned the lock on the knob and hopped into my bed. I really was tired but I was more afraid of anymore questions. I hadn’t done anything wrong, just made another a friend. I set Apocalypse down on my nightstand, I was way too tired to read tonight. Today had been eventful, I really was in a brand new world.


	4. Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari, Xion, and Kairi take a trip into the city but just as they girls are just getting comfortable with one another they are ambushed.

Sunshine peeked through my window and I groaned. As much as I didn’t want to get out of bed I had to. I still hadn’t unpacked my clothes and had a lot to do. I slid from my bed which was surprisingly comfortable and straight away went to unpack my bags. I hadn’t brought that many clothes and knew right away I’d have to make time to go shopping again. Back in Twilight Town, Mari had been quick to question the officers about uniforms when we’d gone to fill out my paperwork so I knew I’d at least have clothes for school and then some kind of battle garment. Still, I definitely needed to spend at least the first two weeks gathering stuff.  
Once all my clothes were packed away I pulled out a denim ripped pair of jeans, black sneakers, and an azure blue sweatshirt. I’d heard that Orenda always had nice weather, especially now in the fall and being comfortable was most important since I knew I’d probably be out the whole day. Tossing the only bag I’d brought with me next to the clothes on my bed, I grabbed my toiletries and quietly left my room.  
“Morning Hikari!”  
Down the hall I saw Kairi from the dining table grinning towards me. Hearing my name, Xion peeked from the kitchen and said good morning as well.  
“Morning,” I responded. “I’m just going to shower, is that okay?”  
Xion chuckled, “it’s your bathroom too Hikari, you don’t need to ask.”  
I blushed, “r-right, sorry.”  
“Xion’s making pancakes,” Kairi smiled. “Hope you’re hungry.”  
I nodded and headed into the bathroom. I really was hungry, seeing as those snacks from the roof were all I’d eaten yesterday. I’d ended up waking up in the middle of the night thanks to the growling of my stomach but was too scared to grab a snack. Food was another thing to add to the shopping list.  
The bathroom was a cream colour that the girls had filled with pastel green accessories. Much like the rest of the apartment, it was small, cramped even with the counter covered in different soaps, lotions, and hair products. Even still, it matched the rest of the aesthetic of the apartment, even down to the shower curtain with painted palm leaves.  
I stepped on the furry mint green bath mat and stared at my reflection in the wide, square mirror. My hair was a complete mess seeing as I’d forgotten to tie it up before bed. The baggy white t-shirt I’d stolen from Lucas was beyond wrinkled but I’d have to manage for now, pyjamas were way down on the shopping list.  
I glanced at my body in the flimsy shirt and couldn’t help but run my hands over my curves. Kairi and Xion were both slim with just the right amount of fat in all the right places. I on the other hand had always been a fat kid and when puberty came, all it did was transfer that fat to my breasts, ass, and thighs. Lifting my shirt I pinched the skin of my stomach, betting that my roommates probably had abs or stomachs so flat you’d think they were tables. My belly on the other hand was squishy, nothing compared to the probable tightness of theirs. I’d forced myself to start running with Mari in the mornings back home that summer and even though that had eliminated my previously hanging gut, there was still a little bit of pudge I so badly desired to turn into abs.  
I sighed and turned on the tap, splashing cold water onto my face. Without Mari my insecurities were bigger than this entire campus. She was slim as well, taller than my roommates but still gorgeous. I always said that she should have been a model but she preferred to make the clothes.  
I picked up my brush, slathered it in paste and began to brush my teeth.  
As the bristles swept across my mouth I caught myself remembering how often Mari would have to give me pep talks when trying to convince me to go out with her friends. “You’re so pretty though!” She’d grin from ear-to-ear. “Your red hair, you’ve got the coolest eyes, and yeah your thighs touch but it’s because they’re holding a secret.”  
I almost choked then and now; holding a secret? I always knew she meant the virginity I still hadn’t managed to lose. She was the one who could always get the boys on her side, impress them, have them begging for her; that was never me. Anytime guys got close to me I knew it was because they saw me as a sexual target because of my figure. They never wanted to get to know me, take me out, they wanted to get in my bed or to my friend.  
Rinsing out my mouth, I caught my violet-blue eyes in the mirror. Mari had always been right about that, my eyes were pretty cool and I’d always wondered where I got them from.  
But my life was different now, there was no time to worry about something as trivial as eye colour. I tore off my clothes, pulled the shower curtain and stepped in.  
After my shower I’d greased my body in lotion, a lavender-grapefruit mix Mari had shoved into my bag last minute. I decided to wear a bit of makeup, just some mascara and lipgloss to look at least part human and threw on my clothes for breakfast.  
The moment I left my room I was hit with the scent of fresh pancakes and it instantly reminded of how hungry I was.  
“That smells really good,” I sat at the table next to Kairi, a plate and fork already set as Xion set down a plate filled with fluffy hotcakes.  
“Thank you,” she took a seat and placed two on her plate. “They’re cinnamon. Hope you aren’t allergic.”  
“I’m not allergic to anything,” I answered before reaching over to the clear jug of iced water to pour myself a glass.  
“Good to know,” Kairi dragged two pancakes onto her own plate before passing me the pile. “So, excited to get your uniform and tech?”  
“Oh,” I groaned. “I completely forgot.”  
“You weren’t headed to the auditorium?” Xion asked.  
I shook my head and doused my pancakes in the cold bottle of syrup that sat on the table. “No, I was planning on going shopping.”  
“Really?” Kairi asked. “Us too, we should go together.”  
“Mm!” I swallowed my mouthful of pancakes down. “Are you sure? I’m doing a lot of furniture shopping.”  
Xion laughed and Kairi joined in as well. I raised a brow in confusion.  
“Same,” Xion answered. “We were actually going to get you a welcome home present.”  
A smile crept onto my lips, a warm feeling building inside me. “That’s really sweet, thank you but you don’t have to do that. Staying here is a gift enough.”  
Kairi shook her head, “nope. We’re doing it. Besides, it’ll give us a chance to get to know you.”  
“There really isn’t much to know.”  
“Well whatever there is to know, I want to know,” Xion replied.  
I couldn’t avoid getting to know these girls forever, I had to make friends, no matter how much the idea of opening up scared me. I’d done it before, yesterday even with Roxas and he was a guy. There was no doubt in my mind that with enough perseverance I could do it again.  
“Okay,” I agreed. “Let’s do it.”  
—  
“All right, smile!”  
Kairi and Xion grinned on either side of me as I chuckled. They’d been so helpful after breakfast, we’d gotten my uniform, tablet, schedule and gummiphone and after dropping off the former, we’d headed straight to the city. The subway ride had been eventful, mostly them telling me of all the cool spots we could visit and trips we could plan. Once we’d finally reached the heart of the city, Kairi demanded that we take a picture for my new screensaver and I’d complied.  
“Look how cute,” she squealed as she handed me the phone. “I put in our numbers so we can always stay in contact. Oh, and when we get home we can get you posted online. That way you can memorialize your journey.”  
I nodded, “okay, Mari’ll be excited to see it. She’s always wanted me on social media.”  
“Mari’s your best friend, right?” Xion clarified. “You mentioned her on the subway.”  
“Yeah,” I answered. “More like my sister to be honest.”  
“You must miss her,” Kairi pouted.  
I nodded bug smiled, “I do but I know she’s cheering me on so I’ll be all right.”  
“You will,” Xion grinned. “Let’s head upstairs.”  
The subway wasn’t too crowded and a lot cleaner than I had expected. We followed the group of passengers along its slate grey walls coming and going up a staircase leading upstairs. It wasn’t long before we were surrounded by the busy city. The buildings stood tall and from the sidewalk we stood at, it felt like there were people everywhere. The streets were busy with the noises of cars and people. All around us were various shops with open doors and blaring music. The sky was clear, the weather just right and I found myself excited to be out and about.  
“So what should we start with first?” Xion asked, a hand on the hip of her jean skirt.  
“Furniture will be a hassle to lug around,” I explained. “So we should probably start with clothes.”  
“I know just the spot,” Kairi beamed and walked forward. “Follow me.”  
I looked to Xion who only smirked and we followed along behind her.  
“So where are we going?” I asked, managing to catch up to the eager redhead.  
“It’s called Impulse Apparel,” Kairi answered. “It’s really good quality at really good prices.”  
“It’s true,” added Xion from the other side of me. “And it’s great because it’s barely ever busy.”  
“Oh, great,” I really didn’t need that many clothes but if I had to buy them I really didn’t want to spend too much.  
“I hope you weren’t too overwhelmed meeting our friends yesterday, Hikari?” Kairi asked, clutching on to the straps of her dark brown purse.  
“Oh, no,” I lied right through my teeth. I was overwhelmed but I could’t let them know how much of a coward I was. “I mean I was surprised, especially with them all being guys but it’s okay.”  
“Why is that surprising?” Xion raised a brow and I blushed immediately. Why was that surprising? Why did I even say that? There went me hiding my loser status.  
“Oh, I just never really got on with guys, I guess,” I muttered. “It’s so stupid but they make me nervous.”  
“Really?” I could hear the disbelief in Kairi’s voice but I really didn’t want to get into it. It was all so embarrassing especially when I thought back to Twilight Town and the last party I’d ever go to.  
“I guess that part of puberty where we all just started liking boys still hasn’t clicked for me yet.”  
The two were silent as we walked, I fiddled with my fingers uncomfortably. Why was I so awkward?  
“Hikari,” Xion said slowly. “If you don’t like guys, it’s okay.”  
I caught myself staring at her, completely confused by her sudden concern.  
“We don’t care about that kind of stuff,” Kairi added sympathetically.  
“What kind of stuff?” My face twisted into an expression of caution.  
“Like…” Xion cheeks grew a bit red but I stared back at her still lost. “If you’re gay.”  
I choked, “gay!?”  
We all stopped in our tracks, staring between each other, the two girls with compassionate eyes, myself with shock.  
“No,” I shook my head quickly. “I’m not gay. I don’t have a problem with it either or anything I’m just so weird around other people. Especially guys. I just…” I brought my eyes to my tangling fingers; confession time.  
“I just haven’t really had any experiences with boys before.”  
There it was, not even a week in and I was already blurting out to my roommates that I was a lacklustre virgin who hadn’t even kissed a boy. I couldn’t look to them, afraid of their judgement and questions.  
“You haven’t been weird around any of us,” Kairi responded, so casually it was as if it didn’t even phase her. I blushed as she began guiding us once again. I bit my lip, trying to hold back the gracious grin forming on my face at their understanding.  
“Not at all,” Xion added. “Did something happen back home?”  
I sighed, now that was something I really didn’t want to get into. Instead, I kept my answer simple, “not really. It’s just that boys always flocked to Mari. She was always going on dates, getting gifts, they never wanted anything to do with me. Not like I really tried though.”  
“They’re idiots,” Xion shrugged. “Don’t even worry about them.”  
“Guys aren’t everything,” Kairi said with a roll of her eyes. “It’s just up here.”  
I caught myself smiling, appreciating their efforts to cheer me up. My lack of relationships had never really bothered me, even when I did find myself growing lonely whenever Mari was gone on one of her own dates. I always had my books if I wanted romance and it was never like I’d met a guy who really sparked my interest.  
We turned a sharp corner and into a narrow doorway that led us straight down a steep set of steps. I was perplexed but the closer we got to the bottom, I could hear what I assumed was pop music. Kairi reached the ground floor first, myself quickly behind her and I was faced with racks upon racks of various styles of clothes. From torn, edgy jeans to preppy, plaid skirt suits; I’d be lying if I said I was wasn’t impressed. The store was dark and covered in illustrative graffiti on the walls but well organized. My eyes bounced from corner to corner, checking out the shoes then the accessories, I honestly had no idea where to start.  
“Someone looks excited,” Xion cooed.  
I chuckled, “w-what? No way. This place is just huge. It’s really cool.”  
“No time to waste then,” Kairi grinned and hooked her arm around mine. “Let’s shop!”  
I couldn’t say how long we were in the store for, scanning from rack to rack, trying things on and really debating if we’d ever really wear that but I was having so much fun I didn’t care. I caught myself actually enjoying shopping, something I never did, even with Mari. By end of our trip at Impulse I’d manage to pick out the necessities and a few looks that were honestly out of my comfort zone but Kairi had managed to convince me. We’d ended up heading to a few furniture stores where I was beyond happy with my purchases but also exhausted from all the fun I was having. Xion must have caught on because we’d stopped at a restaurant nearby to grab lunch before we headed to our next destination. We’d decided to split a small pizza and were now finishing up probably the best sundae I’d ever had.  
“This is actually so good,” I swallowed down another spoonful of the creamy vanilla sundae. “It’s so fresh, they must milk a cow in the back.”  
The girls laughed before Kairi took a sip of her water, “probably. So, now that you’ve got all these clothes it means you’ll have to come out with us again sometime.”  
Xion nodded as she scooped up some more ice cream for herself, “when we aren’t on patrol that is; there’s so much to do.”  
I agreed, “yeah, Roxas had mentioned that yesterday.”  
An expression of surprise appeared on Kairi’s face, “did he?”  
I bobbed my head and reached for my soda. Clamping my lips on the straw, I cursed myself for even mentioning him. I wasn’t sure why but my roommates seemed incredibly uncomfortable when he came up. They’d looked like they’d seen a ghost yesterday when they spotted us together.  
“What else did you guys talk about?” Xion inquired. She looked down at our sundae, trying to hold a look of disinterest but I knew the two were trying to investigate about our interaction again.  
“Just dumb stuff,” I rambled. “Mostly about Twilight Town.”  
“That’s it?” Kairi stirred the metal straw in her cup.  
“Yeah,” I said, nonchalantly. I had to change the subject quick. “You guys do have a lot of friends here. Did you all meet each other here?”  
The redhead shook her head and Xion rested back in her seat. They seemed much more relaxed than when sadboy’s name came up.  
“No,” she answered. “Sora and Riku are my best friends from home and through our journey with the keyblade, we all kind of ended up intertwined with everyone else.”  
“Yeah,” Xion added on with a grin. “I’ve been friends with Roxas and Axel long before I knew of Kairi or the others.”  
“Oh, so you’re close?”  
“Very,” she answered plainly.  
That explained why Xion seemed so tense when Roxas came up. She barely knew me and was just being overprotective over her friend, I could understand. I’d always been the same over Mari when she introduced me to anyone new. I knew I had to make it clear to both her and Kairi that I had no ill-intentions with him or any of their friends for that matter. It was a one-off meet up, it meant absolutely nothing. To be honest, I doubted I’d ever spend time with him alone again.  
“You girls done with that?” Our waitress approached us, bill in hand and I immediately reached for my bag.  
Kairi held her hand out towards me, “it’s on me, guys.”  
“No, I—“  
“Just leave it Hikari,” Xion chuckled. “Despite how it seemed yesterday, this is actually a rare occurrence.”  
I caught myself laughing along with Xion and shrugged, I’d have to get it the next time.  
—  
By the time we’d finished all our shopping, I was ready to pass out right in front of the last furniture store we’d went to. There was no way we’d be able to carry all this stuff back home so Kairi had suggested calling for a taxi.  
“Good idea,” I dropped the bag of bedsheets I’d been holding on the ground. “The idea of carrying all this stuff was making my back ache.”  
I watched Xion stretch before she rubbed her own back, “the moment I see my bed, it’s over.”  
I opened my mouth to reply when we heard a sharp scream ring through the streets. Our eyes caught a woman running, clutching onto her bag as she stormed past. There was terror in her eyes and it became clear why when from behind her appeared a handful of pitch black, muscular monsters. They had eerie, glowing yellow spherical eyes with long, crooked antenna that hung behind them. They stood hunched over as chaos ensued in the street, people screaming and running in for cover.  
“Kairi!” Xion commanded. A flash of light came to her hand and in her palm was what looked similar to a large skeleton key. She slashed it before her and I watched her run towards the crowd of monsters, she gripped onto the bright gold guard effortlessly and seemingly flew into action.  
“Right!” I looked to Kairi as a flash of light appeared before her own hand before I could see her own weapon. It was much more decorative than Xion’s, round and curvilinear with the end of the weapon looking similar to flowers. The hilt on one side appeared to be a vine, beige in colour and wrapped around the shaft of her weapon. On the other side it formed a breaking ocean wave. It bore the colour of a sunset with a long silken red chain that was clasped to a star.  
Kairi ran after her and clashed into one of the beasts instantly. She swung the weapon with ease but it managed to counter her attack. It struck one of it clawed hands towards her but she managed to jump back just in time. Ready in moments, she charged at the monster once again, slashing back and forth before landing a final strike. It quivered before I saw it disappear into smoke and what looked like a pink crystallized heart soar above it.  
She ran towards Xion who faced against two of the black beings before being stopped by another. My heart was racing but my feet were frozen as I saw Xion run towards a nearby building. I clenched my fist seeing that the monsters cornered her but to my amazement her feet sprung up the wall and she came down with a powerful strike against both beasts.  
The girls were focused, cutting away at the villains that had seemingly appeared from no where. They were quick but poised, agile but strong, flipping and slicing at each monster with precision.  
“Hikari, look out!”  
Before me ran one of the monsters, it’s arms drawn like blades. Suddenly, blood rushed to my legs and I reached for the store behind me. The door was closed, firmly locked. I slammed my fists on the glass, screaming to be let in but it was no use. Quickly, I faced the beast, with each stride it took forward, the lower I fell to the ground. I cowered, screaming, all I could do was scream. It was like that night, that night when I thought I would die.  
There was no thinking now. My throat grew raw, tears streamed down my face and I trembled so immensely I could heard the glass behind me shaking.  
“Lightening!”  
Through clenched eyes, I felt a burst of heat and heard the crack of thunder in the air. Cautiously, I opened my eyes and saw the streets were empty, minus Kairi and Xion.  
“Hikari!”  
Kairi ran towards me and crouched down, grasping me in her arms.  
“It’s alright,” she cooed, smoothing down my hair. “You’re alright.”  
I couldn’t speak, I could barely move but the tears still kept rushing down my face. I dug my head deep into the shoulder of her cropped sweater, my hands bald up in fists as she rocked me back and forth.  
“It’s clear,” I heard Xion’s voice. “Hikari…”  
I felt her hand rub my back but nothing could bring me comfort. My mind was empty but completely full, preventing me from even thinking and my heartbeat was so bloody loud, deep in my ears, pumping so fast I thought it might explode.  
“Like before,” I managed to choke out. “Before…”  
—  
The ride back to campus was a blur. I hadn’t been able to speak and I was barely listening as the girls tried to comfort me. They each held my hands the whole way back but it did no good. When we had arrived, we managed to carry our things to my room before Xion had left to go and report the incident. I’d laid on my bed, completely drained of whatever energy I may have had earlier. The plan was to unpack and then call Mari but I couldn’t bring myself to even dial her number. I dragged my body from my bed and onto the floor, lowly unpacking the stuff that just a few hours ago had brought me joy.  
A knock rapped against my door, startling me.  
“Hikari?” Kairi’s kind voice rang out. “It’s me and Xion, can we come in?”  
My arms wrapped around me, as if to create a protective shield. I knew I’d have to talk about it, the incident. I had just hoped it wouldn’t have been so soon.  
“Yes…” I squeaked. Slowly, I heard the doorknob turn as the two shuffled in. I couldn’t meet their eyes, I was far too embarrassed.  
“Need some help?” Xion offered but before I could decline, she and Kairi were on their knees emptying my bags.  
“How are you feeling?” Kairi handed me a mug she’d been holding. I took it gingerly and smelt the sweet aroma of ginger and lemon.  
“I’m okay,” I muttered and took a sip of the hot tea. It was sweet but a wee bit sour, just enough kick to clear my throat.  
I leaned back against my bed frame, legs huddled close to me quietly drinking.  
“We should talk about it,” I could hear the discomfort in Xion’s voice and as much as it pained me to, she was right. I couldn’t hide away from these feelings forever.  
I agreed with a slow nod of my head, taking a deep whiff of my tea, hoping that in Kairi’s mixture I’d find some courage.  
“What happened out there?” Kairi asked just as Xion questioned me with, “why didn’t you summon your keyblade?  
My eyes focused on the rose fluffy rug beneath us, the only thing I had managed to set up before my roommates had joined me. They’d both asked questions I was dreading.  
“I don’t know,” my voice was hoarse, so much so I almost didn’t recognize it. “And I don’t know how.”  
The silence was deafening. If it hadn’t been for the quiet pitter-patter of the rain that had begun you’d probably be able to hear our breaths.  
“What do you mean?” Xion finally spoke. “How did—“  
I cut her off, I already knew what she wanted to know. I couldn’t say it all, not yet, so I decided to keep it short. “We went to a party,” I began. “Mari and I. She dragged me. It was outside. I was nervous, feeling sick even and wanted to go home but she made me stay. We got separated when those things…”  
“Heartless,” Kairi filled in the blank and placed an encouraging hand on my shoulder.  
“H-heartless,” I gulped. “They showed up. They chased me and I ran. I wasn’t thinking and led them back to the party. The cornered me and all I can remember is screaming. I screamed and I prayed a-and… And…”  
They urged me to continue, rubbing my back to remind me I was safe. Tears welled in my eyes and I turned to my ceiling, staring at the smooth white plaster above me. It did no good, not facing them, the tears still slid down my cheeks.  
“Then it just happened,” I breathed. “One of those… things. Then I blacked out. I came to the next day in a hospital and Mari told me someone had gotten help and everyone was safe. I asked her about it, the… thing. She showed me a picture someone had managed to take in the chaos. The photo was a bit of a blur but you could see it; me and that monster, only that weapon between us.”  
I rubbed the back of my hand over my cheek and faced my roommates, the hardest part was over.  
“We’d heard, you know,” I continued. “About the Reawakening? But I never thought… The recruits ended up finding me, trying to get me to do it again, make it come out, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to but I physically couldn’t do it either. When I tried for them, I always felt a panic attack coming on. Mari’s dad, Lucas, he thinks I have PTSD or something, I don’t know. I hoped the recruits wouldn’t take me, I hoped they could see how useless I was but with convincing from Mari and Lucas, I ended up here.”  
There was that silence again, but what could I expect? Now they knew truly how deeply pathetic I was. Kairi probably regretted ever convincing Aqua to let me stay with them, surely I would embarrass them once training started tomorrow. God, I felt so stupid, buying all these things, trying to make this place a home. What the hell was I thinking? Really, who did I think I was?  
I felt a sudden warmth and saw the two girls wrap their arms around me once again. I was confused, uncomfortable even just knowing how much they pitied me.  
“You’re so strong,” Kairi spoke. “Don’t ever doubt that you are strong.”  
“Strong?” I chuckled. “You weren’t listening, I—“  
“No,” Xion released me but grasped on to my hand closest to her. “You are strong. Stop doubting yourself.”  
“Nobody said this was going to be easy,” Kairi replied. “I wish I could tell you it would be but it won’t and pitying and thinking the worst of yourself will only make this ten times harder.”  
I glanced between their intense blue eyes, staring at me so bold, as if challenging me to question their authority.  
“But I can’t even summon it,” I whispered. “My keyblade.”  
“So?” Kairi shrugged with an encouraging smile. “Just keep trying, work hard for yourself. It chose you for a reason, you’re only hurting yourself when you give up so easily.”  
“Only people with strong hearts can wield a keyblade, Hikari,” Xion explained. “So Kairi is right, you are capable, you are strong. There’s something so special in you that makes it so that you were chosen. You’ve got the power to protect your loved ones and yourself. You’re just afraid to access that power.”  
“Don’t let fear stop you from your full potential,” the redhead gleamed. “You can do this, if not for yourself than for those you are destined to protect.”  
I looked between the two of them. They were so confident in me, after knowing me for only two days they seemed to really believe in me and as much as that scared me it also made me want to believe in me too. Maybe they were right, I hadn’t been trying, I’d been blinded by fear. I didn’t know anything about this magic but I did know I had it for a purpose. I had to try, the idea of those things running around and hurting people… Who was I if I had the capability to do something and just chose not to because I was scared?  
“It won’t be easy…” I finally muttered. “But I’ll try.”


	5. Piece of Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Classes begin at Valorsea and although she stumbles, her new friends see to it that they are always there to help. After her last class, Roxas invites Hikari to a bar making her grow suspicious of his intentions. Missing home, she finally gives Mari a call and the two discuss her time at Valorsea.

My uniform was so tight, hugging each and every curve of my body. I yanked down on the short pleated skirt but it was no use, I just wasn’t used to feeling so… exposed. I did like the uniform though, the skirt and jacket were a red rosewood plaid, lined with a sienna waist and cuffs. I’d picked up a set of thigh-high socks yesterday just as Kairi had recommended and it was a good thing too, the idea of my bare thighs being exposed to the general public made me feel nauseous.

Despite everything that had happened yesterday, I managed to wake up feeling a tad more positive than usual. I was nervous, incredibly so, but I tried to remember the promise I made to my roommates, I had to try.

I lifted my new black messenger bag from the floor and took one final look at myself. I thought I looked okay, my lashes were long but nothing too dramatic, my lips glossy but not too wild, and I tied my hair in a low ponytail behind me to try and help sell this more serious look.

Moments like this made me miss home the most, our uniforms were so simple but here I felt like I was walking into a business meeting.

“You ready Hikari?” I heard Kairi call.

I brushed the gold key emblem on the jacket, stupidly trying to polish the cloth and adjusted my white shirt underneath. It was now or never.

“Yeah,” I walked out of my room and to the girls. Both had decided to wear the rosewood coloured sweatshirt version of the uniform. I frowned, nibbling on my bottom lip. I was doing too much in this uniform, I even had the stupid plaid tie on for goodness sake!

“You look nice,” the redhead grinned.

“Very professional,” Xion added.

I glared at them both with their enthusiastic smiles before turning back to my room.

“I’m going to change.”

“Oh come on!” Kairi tried to stifle back her laughter. “We’re already late, you look great. Let’s go.”

I was exasperated already and the day had just begun. We left our dorm and began making our way down to the main building.

“Your first class is alchemy, right?” The raven-haired girl asked. I nodded and watched her click away at her phone before she looked to me once more. “Axel’s actually in that class as well so you won’t be alone.”

“What have you got after that?” I watched Kairi pull out her phone as well before holding out her hand to me. “In fact, let me see your schedule again.”

A half-smile reached my lips as I lazily handed it over. I watched both she and Xion on either side of me pass the schedule back and forth all the while corroborating on their phones. They’d quickly become so over protective of me, treating me like a younger sister they had to be responsible for. As embarrassing as it was, I did appreciate their guidance as I would have been lost without them.

“Okay!” Kairi handed me back my schedule. “We’ve got it all figured out.”

“You’ve got Alchemy with Axel,” Xion explained. “Then Tactical Operations with Riku and Ventus, Land Navigation with Sora, then luckily, lunch with all of us.”

“We can thank Aqua for that,” Kairi winked. “After lunch we’ve all got Combat, another gift from Aqua, before you finish the day in Worlds History with Roxas.”

“Worlds History?” I repeated. “I wouldn’t expect that here.”

“It’s important to know about the worlds and a wielder’s place in them,” Kairi rolled her eyes playfully. “At least that’s what we were told when we heard about the curriculum.”

We laughed but a question did weigh on my mind. “Why do you guys have to take classes? After yesterday the last people I expected to see training were you.”

“We aren’t masters yet,” Xion shrugged. “I mean Riku is and he even got suckered into all this.”

“He’s supposed to set a good example,” Kairi scoffed with a smirk. “Whatever that means.”

“Oh yeah,” I mumbled. “That exam we have to take when this is all over next year…” My stomach began to turn already and I felt myself regret not grabbing anything to eat this morning.

Xion nudged against me, knocking me out of my thoughts.

“Don’t worry about it,” her eyes could already see the concern on my face. “Next year is far away and by the time we get to that point, you’ll be so good at this you’ll probably show us up.”

Now that made me laugh, “never.”

“Well good morning to you three.” Axel stood at the door way of my first class, also dressed casually in his uniform but in the white button-up instead. I really was over-dressed.

“Morning,” Kairi pushed me forward, practically tossing me to Axel. “We’re going to be late but you take good care of our Hikari, you got that Axel?”

My cheeks burned as I felt Axel throw his arm around my shoulders, smiling far too wide as he smooshed me against his rock hard abdomen.

“Burned to my brain.”

Xion gave him a warning glare but it didn’t deter him at all. She smiled towards me, “I added you to our group chat Hikari so feel free to pipe up and ask us anything, okay?”

I nodded slowly, only managing to wave as the girls ran in opposite directions to get to their own classes.

I knew my face was still red as Axel rose and leaned against the wall behind us. He was staring at me, I could feel those emerald green eyes burn holes into the back of my head.

“Aren’t you just adorable?”

I gawked, mouth a jar while he gave me the most devilish smile.

“W-we should go inside.”

“Cute and punctual,” he patted the top of my head, causing me to clasp my hands tighter against my chest. “Lead the way Hikki.”

I wasn’t sure but I would’ve bet any money that he could feel the heat radiating from my body. We entered the classroom, finding it partially full. It was a large space with several desks covered in flasks, beakers, and all kinds of specialty tools. I was headed to the front when Axel gripped my wrist and dragged me to the back of the room. He pulled out a stool and practically seated me there with him. He sat alongside me, so close I realized he smelt of peppermint and just knew I was blushing. I clasped my hands together in my lap as the handsome boy met my eye.

“Never sit in the front, Hikki,” Axel rested his chin against his knuckles, still grinning at me as if he was up to something. “Or else you’ll get stuck answering questions no one else has an answer to.”

I brought a hand to my lips, mulling over what he said when I heard him snort.

“You’re too easy.”

I heard someone clear their throat and watched a sullen man with sunken in cheeks stride into the classroom in a white coat. Looking into his dull moss green eyes, I could tell he had to be the professor.

My first class hadn’t gone too bad but it was a good thing I’d let Axel decide where we’d sit. Professor Even had gone on and on about chemistry and mathematical equations for what felt like ever. By the end of the class my head was spinning and I was just glad I hadn’t been any of the kids in the first row who had questions thrown at them every other minute.

I’d managed my way to reach my next lesson, now in a small auditorium with long half moon dark oak tables and chairs circling the front of the classroom where a lone desk sat, housing a man with short, chestnut brown hair and a strong jaw. He was completely still, uncomfortably so. I checked my schedule once more and deciphered this must have been Professor Aeleus. I crept towards the stairs to find a seat when I spotted Riku waving lazily at me, a cheerful Ventus by his side. I let out a sigh of relief as Ventus pushed into the desk, allowing me to pass and sit between them.

“You looked like you were about to pass out down there,” Riku was just as casual as Axel, in fact both boys were in the white short-sleeved button-ups but Ventus had on the tie. As soon as I got home I was going to burn this stupid jacket.

“Aeleus is pretty scary,” Ventus replied. “To be fair.”

I managed a small smile towards Ventus but couldn’t help how nervous I was. Sitting between two guys, especially two guys that looked like them made me so uncomfortable. It was especially awkward with how easily they talked to one another while all around us I noticed students’ eyes watching them, which in turn meant they were watching me. I thought I was going to be sick when I felt Ventus’ hand brush against mind. The butterflies in my stomach flapped uncontrollably as he asked if I’d forgotten my tablet. I shook my head and pulled it out, trying to calm myself down. They were just guys, just nice guys. I shouldn’t have been so afraid. Just because bad things happened at home didn’t mean they would happen again. Soon enough, the room was filled up now with students and another class I barely understood began.

This class seemed to drag on less, mainly because I spent most of the time looking down at my gummiphone, watching the messages pop-up over and over again in the group chat I was added into. In fact, everybody was cracking jokes expect Roxas who I hadn’t seen a single message come up from and a name I didn’t recognize. I’d clicked the name at hopes of seeing a profile picture of them but was disappointed to see white roses instead.

I was on the move to another small auditorium, same seating as the last and luckily nearby. I couldn’t spot Sora and took a seat in the middle of the room but did find who my schedule told me was Professor Dilan, a man just as buff as my last professor with long black tendrils tied back in a ponytail. He paid no attention to me or any other student entering the class as he eagerly typed away on his tablet.

“Great,” I groaned. “Another creepy prof.”

“Just keep your head down and he won’t even notice we’re here.”

Sora stood before me, his ocean blue eyes immediately making me blush. He was dressed just like Ventus, his tie on much looser. The pretty boy took a seat beside me, running his hand through his luscious caramel brown spiky hair. He sat so close to me, leaning back in his chair and speaking so casually about the breakfast he’d botched this morning completely oblivious to the girls who hungrily stared at him. I couldn’t blame them, he was adorable, a part of me wanted to squeeze his cheeks but I resisted.

I remembered how whenever Sora had come up in our talks, Kairi got a warm look in her eyes, well, more warm than usual. I had to wonder if maybe she had feelings for him. I had to think of a way to ask her about it without seeming nosey.

“I can’t wait for lunch,” Sora whined, bringing a smirk to my lips. “I knew I should have grabbed a snack after Alchemy.”

“You’ll be fine,” I pulled out my tablet once again. “Just pretend each one Dilan’s dreads is a spaghetti noodle and his head, the meatball.”

Sora began laughing, causing me to go along. It was a good distraction before class started. But only for a moment before Professor Dilan stood and I knew it was time for another boring lesson.

When it was finally over Sora had practically carried me to the main cafeteria. It was spotless and filled to the brim with teens. The walls on the side facing outward where huge glass windows which let in just the right amount of sunlight, warming up the busy hall. There was a beautiful view of the outside where a pond lay a few feet away with picnic tables about, bright green trees and fresh flowers everywhere. We got stuck in line to pick up our food and were the last to reach Sora’s friends who sat at a bench closest to the lake.

Kairi scooted over and gestured for me to sit between her and Xion, which I was honestly grateful for. Sitting beside good-looking guys was raising my blood pressure.

Sora and I seemed to have walked in on an argument between Axel and Riku who were going back and forth about what sounded like blitzball. I knew nearly nothing about it but Lucas was an avid fan and would often drag Mari and I to the living room to watch it with him and his friends during championship games.

“So how’s your day been so far?” Xion asked me, both she and Kairi sat ardently, waiting for me gush about something, anything.

I shrugged and pulled out the fries I’d bought from the cafeteria. “Nothing special to be honest,” I answered. “Everybody’s been really helpful though.”

“We promised we would,” Sora grinned, flashing his white teeth at me as he sat on the edge of the table. A small smile came to my lips as my eyes darted back to my fries.

“Just admit you’re wrong Riku,” Axel crossed his arms. “Tell him Rox— Wait, where’s Roxas?”

“Not sure,” Xion asked. “I haven’t seen him in any classes.”

“Did anyone ask Namine?” Riku took a seat on the bench across from Xion, stealing a pepperoni slice off her pizza.

“She said he came by in the morning,” Ventus responded shyly.

Before I could stop myself I asked one of my many burning questions, “who is Namine?”

I had been munching on my fries when I realized the only thing I could hear in the group was my nibbles.

“Another friend,” Kairi plastered on a fake smile.

“Roxas’ ex,” Xion frowned, worryingly.

I bit my lip, setting down the next fry I’d planned to eat. “Oh…”

“It’s complicated,” Sora sighed. “They were together, things happened, now they aren’t. It’s all a big mess really.”

I nodded slowly, pretending to understand. “It makes sense now…”

Again, I had accidentally piqued the group’s interest. I took a sip of my water before I answered.

“When I found Roxas, he was on the phone. He was having an important conversation I think.”

“Yeah,” Ventus breathed. “She broke up with him a few days ago.”

I grimaced as I remembered our conversation, praying I may not have said anything to set him off. I had guessed that he had been talking about a break up but I had never thought he was the one getting dumped!

“Hey,” Kairi leaned in close to me, gently rubbing my back. “You okay?”

I nodded quickly, straightening in my seat so she would release me.

“I’m fine, I just hope he’s okay, that’s all.”

“You already worried about him, Hikki?” Axel sneered. “That must have been some talk you two had.”

“N-no!” My voice cracked. “I just—“

“He’s just teasing,” Kairi laughed. “Ignore Axel, he can be an idiot sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” I muttered, unable to hold back my sarcasm when the group burst into laughter.

I managed to finish lunch without being anymore awkward and was pleased to see Aqua explain to us that the first week of training was just about discerning our fitness levels and for her to figure out what we’d have to focus on. I couldn’t have been anymore relieved and happy to listen as she prattled on and on about the importance of mastering our abilities. To be honest, I was just glad I had a week to try and figure out just how to summon my keyblade again. The last thing I wanted was to be completely embarrassed in front of my entire class.

Sora had offered to walk me to Worlds History, saying he had a class nearby and even though I appreciated his help, my face was red the whole time. I managed to hold a conversation with him though, one in which he tried to reassure me that combat would be the easiest part of my training. I didn’t believe him but I got the feeling he was too clueless to realize.

By the time I reached my class it was almost full but luckily I managed to find a seat in the back, closest to a window. This room was more like a classroom, with long wooden desks and chairs that sat two people and surrounded by books. In the corner sat a man with his large nose deep in an even larger book. His wide eyes were focused on whatever it was his was reading but I couldn’t help but be perplexed by his bizarre fashion. He was dressed in a navy blue, almost black robe with a blue conical, pointed hat covered in shimmering stars and crescent moons. I wasn’t sure but I could swear they were spinning upon his head.

He must have felt me staring because in a moment his small pupils focused in on me and I rushed to look down at my tablet. I pretended to be busy but I doubted he believed it for moment. A moment later I peeked through my lashes and caught the teacher leaning back in his seat, stroking his long grey beard with an amused expression. I reached in my bag, checking for the name of this professor. Master Yen Sid, hm? What a peculiar name for a peculiar man.

I heard him adjust in his seat and I rose my head like every other student in the class and watched as he gestured to the heavy entrance door. Slowly, it began to swing close and my jaw dropped with the others. I knew of magic, this whole thing was magic but witnessing it, so casually done at the finger tips of this stranger was a sight to behold.

Before the door could shut, we watched someone slide through the crack, pushing it back wide open. The student planted themselves firmly on their feet and bowed towards the master.

“Sorry Master Yen Sid,” my ears perked at the sound of that voice.

“Roxas…” the old man’s deep voice carried an air of humour. I saw him gesture towards me. “Have a seat.”

The blond strolled over in a jacket same as mine but worn far more casually.

“Weirdgirl,” he greeted me, confident as ever.

“Nice to see you, sadboy,” I replied back. It may have sounded strange but it was comforting to have him in this class with me, by my side.

—

“So Kairi got you on social media, huh?”

I nodded, it was what she’d been excited for. Especially to have me post about our shopping trip. She’d followed pretty much her whole friend group through my account but I had yet to look at any of their profiles.

“Yeah, it wasn’t up for debate.”

Roxas chuckled as we headed towards our dorms together. Worlds History had actually been my most interesting class thus far, mainly because I knew absolutely nothing about other worlds or the keyblade legacy. I did occasionally find myself peeking back at Roxas who was completely engrossed by his phone.

“Well it looks like you guys had fun at least,” He stuffed a hand into his pocket and carried his binder in the other. “Did she take you to Impulse?”

“It was our first stop actually.”

“Nice…” His voice trailed off. “I saw Xion’s report. You doing okay?”

My eyes bulged, he knew about the attack? Humiliation washed over me, I hadn’t wanted anyone to know. I bobbed my head slowly, unable to meet his eye.

“It’s a good thing you could defend yourself, even without any training.”

My brows furrowed but I quickly realized that Xion had lied in the report. She’d done that to save me from the embarrassment, protecting me once again. She and Kairi really did have my best interests at heart and hearing this made me want to try harder to earn their friendship.

“Yeah, I’ve still got a lot to learn though.”

“Definitely.”

“So…” a question had pondered my mind since I saw him in class and even though it wasn’t my place, I was feeling bold enough to ask. “I heard you skipped all your classes.”

That piqued his interest. He tried to hide the suspicion on his face but even from his profile I could see him coming up with an excuse.

“I had to see a someone,” he mumbled. “Didn’t know you were looking for me.”

That got me blushing and by the sly smile on his lips, he knew he got me.

“I wasn’t,” I replied with a pout. “Your friends were concerned and I just overheard.”

“My friends?” He repeated. “What about you? They aren’t your friends too?”

I bit my lower lip, that had come out much crueller than I intended. “I-I didn’t mean it like that. This is so new to me.”

“They can be a lot,” the blond responded. “But you’ll get use to them.”

He was right, I was already warming up to the idea of having a big group of friends.

“But this does prove that you are nosey.”

“I am not!” I gasped.

His melodious laugh filled the empty hall, “maybe I should change your name to nosey-girl instead.”

“Whatever sadboy,” I marched ahead but he was by my side in seconds.

“Come on weirdgirl,” he murmured. “I’m just teasing.”

I rolled my eyes with a grin as we approached my door.

“Well look at that,” he crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway while I found my back against the door. “You tricked me into walking you home again.”

“Hey I just walked,” I shrugged. “Not my fault you followed me like a little puppy dog.”

“This coming from the girl who’s what, 5’1”?”

“I’ll have you know I’m 5’3” and a half!”

“Gotta make sure you mention that half,” he placed his back on the wall and I turned towards him.

“So, are you going to actually show up and pay attention in class tomorrow?” I asked.

“Are you going to keep dressing like a keener?”

I punched his bicep and he chuckled, rubbing his arm but then looking down at my stern glare.

“Yes, fine,” he grinned carelessly. “I’ll be there.”

“To all of them?” I questioned. “And on time?”

“Yes mom,” he groaned.

“Good,” I pouted. “And just so you know I’ll be sticking to the sweatshirt from now on.”

He nodded slowly before meeting my eyes.

“So, are you coming to Nightingale?”

I cocked a brow, “no, what is that?”

“It a pretty popular bar that we go to,” he answered. “There’s an underground club and they suck at ID’ing.”

My eyes widened, a bar? Like an actual bar? The only bar I’d ever been to was the one Lucas owned and like hell would he ever let me or Mari drink. He barely let us in there at all, anytime we had gone in it was because Mari sneaked us and we got caught immediately by one of his employees. As for drinking, I hadn’t even been close enough to alcohol to touch it, on the rare occasion I went to parties with Mari, I always ended up hiding away and reading until she came to find me.

“I wasn’t invited,” I answered quickly, grateful for the easy excuse.

Now he looked confused, “yes you were. It’s in the group chat.”

I stifled a groan, completely forgetting about my phone. I hadn’t looked at it since my tactical class and the group hadn’t mentioned anything at lunch. It must of been brought up around our last class.

I didn’t want to look anymore like a freak in front of the blond or any of my new friends. I could go to a bar, drink a soda and pretend it was vodka, it would be easy. I was 17, this is what normal 17 year olds did.

“Right, guess I’ll be there.”

“Cool,” he hopped off the frame and began heading down the hall to his own room. “Tomorrow you’re walking me home.”

I smirked, “in your dreams, Roxas.”

When he turned the corner and I could no longer see him I unlocked my door and dragged myself inside. Great, a new challenge to tackle. Why wasn’t there a class on socializing for humans?

I saw Kairi and Xion sitting in our living room both gazing at their phones. I greeted them as I strolled into the kitchen and set my bag on the counter, eager to find something to eat.

“You’re coming to Nightingale, Hikari?”

“Huh?” I popped my head from the fridge and saw Kairi point to her phone.

“It’s in the group chat.”

Hastily, I scrummaged through my bag and picked out my phone. I rushed to the group texts and saw Sora suggest going to the bar during the time of our last class and everyone replied eagerly, even the mysterious Namine. That’s when I got down to a message sent less than than a minute ago from Roxas.

“Hikari and I will be there,” I read aloud.

Kairi and Xion watched as I rolled my eyes and grabbed a bag of chips from the cupboard. “Asshole…”

I took my bag and stormed off to my room. Now that I knew that this Namine girl and him had been dating I knew exactly what he was trying to do: use me as a pawn to upset her. Well I had no intention of playing into his trap, not at all. I tore off my uniform and slipped into a pair of grey shorts and a black sweatshirt I’d stolen from Lucas that was definitely way too big before hopping on to my bed.

What was so exciting about this Namine that he had to get her attention so badly? I went to my friend’s list on the social site Kairi had setup for me hoping to reach Namine through her profile but was shocked to see that she’d already been following me.

I tapped on her page and was greeted to the smile of a pale, blue-eyed petite girl with blond shoulder-length hair and a slender frame. She was just as gorgeous as my roommates and suddenly Roxas’ supposed desire to get her back suddenly made sense. As I scrolled through her page I saw pictures with her and the group, shopping, going on hikes, and just hanging out as well as illustrations she’d done. I was thoroughly impressed to be honest and found it humorous for Roxas to think I could hold a light to her. She’d probably read the message and laughed at his obvious attempt to ignite any kind of negative reaction in her.

I rolled my eyes and dialled Mari’s number, I needed to vent and I’d promised her I’d call her as soon as I got a phone.

It didn’t take long for a familiar voice to pick up, rather aggressively in fact.

“Who is this?”

“Is that anyway to greet your best friend?” I responded.

“Hikari!?” She squealed and suddenly I heard the thumping of hardwood and her shouts for her dad in the background.

My phone pinged, asking for a video call with Mari and I was answered. I was welcomed by the grins of my family and struggled to hold back tears.

“Hey Kari!” Lucas waved frantically. His brown eyes were beaming and his blond hair looked freshly cut. “How are you? Are you eating? Sleeping well? Everybody treating you okay?”

I laughed, there went Lucas, instantly in dad mode.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I’m good, everything’s going great. I just really miss you guys.”

“We miss you too, love,” Mari pouted. “I’m literally so lost without you.”

“And bored,” Lucas added. “She’s been watching blitzball with me. Willingly.”

I blinked, “wow, you really are lost.”

“Ha-ha,” she frowned at our teasing. “Just for that, you’re making your own dinner tonight, dad.”

He laughed as Mari pulled the phone away from her father.

“Come on Hikari, let’s go so you can fill me in on all the gossip.”

“Bye Lucas,” I waved.

“I’ll call you later to check in again kiddo,” he grinned.

I watched Mari walk back up the stairs and back into her large lilac bedroom as she gushed about how much she missed me.

“I genuinely cried the whole night in your room after you left,” she explained, climbing onto her bed. “Like I cried so hard I gave myself a headache.”

“Poor baby,” I teased. “Honestly, I thought I’d die without you here but I’m actually doing okay.”

“As if,” she rolled her green eyes. “Don’t think I forgot about how miserable you were the week before leaving. I know that didn’t all just go away.”

“You’re right,” I sighed. “I’ve been talking about you so much my roommates thought I was gay.”

She burst into laughter, rolling onto her back and I could help but smirk.

“Shut up,” I groaned.

“Okay, okay,” she tried to catch her breath. “Besides thinking that we’re lovers, how are your roommates?”

“They’re really cool actually,” I shrugged. “They’ve really helped me get comfortable and introduced me to all their friends, the whole group is really nice.”

“Not nicer than your best friend I hope,” she winked.

“Obviously not. But they’ve accomplished something you never could.”

“What’s that?”

“They got me on socials, Mar.”

“What!?” She exclaimed. “Hold on just this second.”

I watched her brows furrow before she gasped, her eyes darting to me.

“Hikari!”

“You found it?” I asked. “How?”

“Phone number,” she answered. “You guys even went shopping!?”

My phone pinged once more and I saw a notification pop up that Mari had followed me. I went on her pageto follow her back and was hit with a wave of nostalgia with all the pictures she had posted of herself (most taken by me), her friends, some just with me or Lucas and our hometown as a whole. Her long, sienna brown hair had grown, it was up to the middle of her back now judging by the photos; I wondered if I’d inspired her.

“Oh, he’s hot.”

“Hm?” I focused back on the call where I watched Mari intensively stare at her phone.

“And so is he, and him, definitely him. What the hell Kari? Are all your new friends hot?”

My face reddened, “shut up. I’m pretty sure they’re all dating each other anyway. I haven’t known them that long to find out.”

“So you _want_ to find out?” Her brow perked up with a challenging smile.

“I never said that!”

“You didn’t have to,” she answered. “Sora’s so freaking cute but Riku has the mature, manly figure I like.”

“Manly?” I chortled.

“What?” Mari frowned. “I like manly men. Well, I like them if they look like him. He’s got a mysterious thing going on.”

“You should see Roxas if that’s your thing.” I muttered and immediately regretted opening my mouth.

I watched her eyes widen as I assumed she’d found his profile.

“Okay,” she nodded slowly. “Yup, he’s my favourite, you win.”

Now I was curious and wondered off to his page. They were mostly filled with shots of places he’d been or of his friends, food he’d tried but every now and then there he was, not in selfies either, candid shots somebody had managed to catch of him alone. Mostly frowning, rolling his eyes and looking off somewhere but occasionally I saw his bright smile, the one that was so rare to find in real life.

“Oof,” Mari got my attention. “Girlfriend alert.”

I scrolled further down and saw one picture of Namine resting in his lap, drawing with a grin as he leaned over and was kissing her cheek. I clicked the photo, seeing it had been bombarded with likes and read the caption: In you and I.

I could feel the muscles of my face tense. Just sitting here, looking at this old picture was making me uncomfortable, I felt like I was peeping into their private lives.

I went to close the app when my fingers slipped and my phone hit my nose.

“Ow!” I moaned.

“Kari!” Mari called. “You okay?”

I reached over to my phone that managed to fall face first on my bed.

“I’m okay,” I groaned and flipped onto my stomach. “How’s my nose?”

“As cute as ever.” My best friend grinned.

I was about to responded when I noticed the heart of the photo was clicked red.

“Oh god.”

“What?”

“I think I liked it.”

“Liked what?”

I took a screenshot and sent it to Mari in a haste.

She wheezed, “Hikari…”

“What do I do!?” I gulped. “Does he know? He’s going to think I’ve been creeping on him.”

“I mean technically we have been,” she replied. “But we creeped on all your friends.”

“Mari!”

“Okay, okay,” she forced a smile. “It’s fine, it’s not that serious.”

“Right,” I bit my lip. “I’m just going to unlike it.”

“No!” She cried.

“Why!?”

“That’s even worse,” she dragged a hand down her face, agitated by my ignorance. “Just leave it alone. If he sees that you liked it and then you go and unlike he’s definitely going to think you’re a psycho.”

I buried my head into my sheets and grumbled, “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yes,” Mari replied, earning a glower from me. “But luckily he has a girlfriend so hopefully he won’t take it as you’re hitting on him or something. I mean, it’s the only photo you liked, right?”

“That’s the thing—“

“You liked other ones?” She cringed.

“No!” I groaned. “…they broke up.”

Mari looked at me and blinked, lost at what to say before she pursed her lips.

“Well, you’re fucked.”

We bellowed out laughing at my usual misfortune when she asked how I even knew this and I’d told her about my arrival at Valorsea. I filled her in on everything, from Roxas taking me to the roof to Xion and Kairi saving me and all the way right to my suspicions of Roxas using me.

“That is pretty peculiar,” Mari pondered. “But I don’t think he’s trying to use you.”

“How come?”

“Well, if he was going to use you why go with a girl she doesn’t know. If the goal is to hurt her, why not manipulate with someone they both know?”

I had to agree, that did make more sense.

“Plus if he really wanted to drive it in he could have interacted with your profile, show something, anything, to really make her upset.”

“Another good point.”

“Keep him at a distance,” advised Mari, “but play it cool, you know?”

“Cool?” I repeated. “I can do that.”

“No Hikari,” she giggled. “You really can’t.”

I frowned but noticed Mari look at her phone perplexed.

“What’s wrong?”

“He deleted the photo.”

Hopping back on Roxas’ page and scrolled far more carefully than I’d done before. She was right, it was gone, now Namine was no where in sight on his profile besides the occasional group photo; it was as if they’re relationship had never existed.

“What does this mean?” I asked the brunette.

She shrugged, “you said they broke up… maybe he was doing some spring cleaning.”

Mari was probably right, we’d probably just popped into his profile right as he was getting rid of her on his page.

“You’re so good at this stuff.”

She tossed her hair over her shoulder dramatically, “I know, I’m a professional.”

Now I was laughing; it was so good to see her again. She was my piece of home.


	6. Summon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari struggles to summon her keyblade but when it isn’t until a mysterious boy appears things begin to look up. She never gets his name and he only leaves her with one instruction and an evil smile. Later, she has her first combat class but seeks further information on her weapon from Master Yen Sid.

The first week at the bastille had definitely been eventful. I was getting used to hanging around my new friends and even joining in on the group chat occasionally. Namine had yet to say a word besides agreeing to coming along to the Nightingale. Kairi and Xion had been talking about it once in our living room and I’d strangely gotten nervous and dipped my head lower in my book, somehow thinking it would shield me away from their prying eyes.

Luckily enough they hadn’t asked me about it and even more lucky, Roxas hadn’t mentioned anything to me about the photo. To be fair, I had been avoiding him or talking to him as little as possible. I was unsuccessful at it however as we spent the most of our time together due to our schedules.

Not to mention, since he’d gotten my number from the group chat he’d been messaging me privately. It started out about chapters to read and soon enough us sending each other the most obscure and stupidest jokes that we were literally the only people to find funny. Right after Mari he’d become the person I texted the most. In the beginning it did make me feel weird but soon enough he just turned into the person I could rely on when I just wanted to sit back, relax, and talk about nothing. We’d go on for hours, messaging back and forth and even the nights where one of us- admittedly me most of the time -fell asleep during our conversations, we could pick it up the next day no problem.

The others had been quick to ask us about it whenever at lunch one of us made an accidental reference to one of our inside jokes in front of them but the moment we explained it it was beyond clear nobody thought we were as funny as we did. Axel had even come up with a name for it the moment we’d start one of our rambling tangents. “Oh God,” he’d groan. “They’re falling off the deep end again.”

When we got to our halls I said a quick goodbye and rushed to my dorm. I was quick to eat before hurrying to change and leave my dorm before my roommates came home.

I managed to wander to the forest by my dorm and found a spot vacant from anyone else and vowed to summon my keyblade. I’d been trying all week but this Friday night, I was going to do it. No matter what. Next week we were going to start training with our weapons and having seen other people flash their own at ease made me jealous. I refused to be embarrassed in front of all the wielders, only to become a massive burden to anyone who got stuck on a team with me. Even in all the fitness tests Aqua had made us do I was pushing myself so hard to keep up I’d come home sore at the end of each day.

It didn’t matter however, I had to keep going, my friends were counting on me and I promised I would try.

“Come on!” I grunted, whipping my hand forward but still, no use. “God, what’s it going to take? A freaking miracle?”

I’d been outside for an hour and a half, doing everything I could think of to try and get the stupid weapon to appear. I’d even asked Mari and Lucas for help when she called me to check in and kept trying- lazily albeit -to summon my keyblade during our whole forty-five minute conversation.

I rolled up the sleeves of my cropped sweatshirt and glared at my palms.

“Now you listen to me goddamnit. I don’t know who you think you are but I’m in charge here so if I call you, you’d better get your ass out here. Got it?”

“Well, if you insist.”

I whisked my head behind me to the sound of a voice but saw no one there. I couldn’t be afraid and lifted my fists before me, trying to take an intimidating stance.

“Who’s there?” I called out.

“Why? You scared?”

I spun again but still saw nothing but the rustle of trees and heard the sounds of the wind. The sun was going down quickly and night was approaching, soon enough the stranger would be completely invisible.

“No, but you must be for you to keep hiding!”

“Hiding?” I ran to a nearby bush, where I thought the sound had come from but found nothing. “Why would I hide from you? Now watching you on the other hand…”

“This isn’t funny!” I shouted and backed away from the bush. “Show yourself.”

I stumbled back against something hard and turned expecting to see another tree but was faced with a smirking grin on a face quite familiar to me.

“But watching you _is_ funny.”

I lifted my leg, ready to run but slipped backwards into the mossy grass. I’d scratched my bare legs against the hard, wet ground and immediately regretted coming out here. I shivered looking up at the complete stranger with Sora’s face.

He was taller and more muscular than the brunette, in his leather jacket and plain black shirt. He wore torn black jeans with matching combat boots and was holding a hellish grin. He stepped further into the tiny glade I’d been training in. The moonlight glistened against his pale skin and golden yellow eyes. A hand ran through his jet black, spiky hair only a bit longer than Sora’s as he stepped towards me slowly but I scrambled back.

“Get away from me!”

“But you’re just so cute when you’re scared,” he crouched before me and held out his hand. I didn’t dare move, frozen to the ground and doing my best to be brave.

He rolled his eyes, urging me to take his palm, “come on, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to help.”

My brows furrowed, this guy was a complete stranger but even still, even if I got up on my own it wasn’t like I’d be able to fight him. I considered screaming but there wasn’t even supposed to be anybody out here at night.

Cautiously I took his hand keeping my eyes glaring at him the whole time. He yanked me up with a quickness, shoving us close together with his hand holding mine and the other around my waist.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” His eyes darted down quickly and then back to my face, that sinister smile never waning. “But that might change things.”

I glanced down to see my breasts pressed firmly against him and the large scoop neck of my sweater providing ample cleavage for display.

I pushed him and he only laughed. Wrapped my arms over my chest I turned to leave but he stopped me.

“I’m only joking, Hikari.”

I looked back at him promptly, “how do you know my name?”

He lowered his eyes as he began to circle me, almost as if to trap me but I followed his every move, not letting my eyes off him for a second.

“I know a lot of things about you,” he finally answered. “Your friends, your hometown, your favourite foods, your dress size. Hell, I even know that you can’t summon your keyblade.”

“You know?” I wheezed, clutching on to my hand. Besides Kairi and Xion, nobody here had any idea how lost I was when it came to summoning. Nobody was supposed to ever find out, that’s why I was out here in the first place!

“Why else do you think I’m here?” He stopped walking and bowed suddenly. “Consider me your miracle.”

I narrowed my eyes, staring at the mischievous stranger. I was suspicious about everything he supposedly knew about me and I knew I’d be crazy to trust him. He clearly had been out here watching me for some time. Even if he could help me, at what cost?

“Don’t believe me?” He crossed his arms. “Fine, I’ll show you mine then you show me yours.”

He straightened and in the blink of an eye, a flash came to his open palm before I saw the monochrome beast he called a keyblade.

The head and teeth were a round, cog-like in shape with a similar guard. The white shaft was long, hell, the whole weapon seemed bigger than that of Kairi’s or Xion’s. I looked to the keychain where three small gears with a charm of two half gears formed the shape of an S. Strangest of all however were the grey reptilian eyes embedded into the base and hilt of the weapon.

“You believe me now?”

I nodded slowly and like that, it was gone. He stepped towards me but I hesitated and pulled back.

“What are you afraid of Hikari?”

“I don’t know you,” I grimaced. “I don’t even know your na—“

“No,” his voice was stern and it caught me off guard. “What is stopping you from summoning your keyblade?”

I turned to the ground, looking at the illuminated light from the moon, fearful to even answer that question.

“I don’t know…”

“You do,” I heard him say. “You’re just too scared to say it.”

“It’s not easy, okay!?” I cried. My breath was shortening and I found the panic begin to make my finger tremble. “Every time I try, I really try, I think back to that night.”

“You’ll have more nights like that,” I could hear the annoyance in his voice. “What makes that one so special?”

“It wasn’t special!” I balled my hands into fists and faced him with ire in my eyes. “Kore dragged me out to the middle of nowhere and he tried to kiss me! He never stopped trying and was never going to stop trying until those heartless showed up! I couldn’t protect myself against him or those animals!”

I turned my back to him, trying so hard to hold back the tears that welled in my eyes. I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to see his aggressive brown eyes, dark and empty or feel his hands taint every inch of my body. I didn’t want to smell the pungent aroma of whatever it was that he’d smoked before convincing me to go see the stars with him. I was so stupid, so stupid when I followed him out there, truly believing he had the best of intentions.

“I was weak,” I snarled. “I’m always going to be weak!”

I felt his presence right behind me before his hands slid down my shoulders and to my hands. I was so angry I felt frozen, I couldn’t push him away even if I wanted to.

“You will if you don’t face your fears.”

“Face my fears?” I scoffed, shutting my eyes, praying that it kept my tears inside. “All I can do is panic when I face them. I get sent back to him laying me on the ground, being on top of me…”

“And what do you do?” He slowly lifted my hands before me, palms facing upwards.

“I beg!” I yelled. “I beg like a fucking child for him to let me go.”

“And what do you want to do?”

“I want to hurt him!” The rage in my voice came out in my screams. I could feel my head clearing, but nothing like my panic attacks. No, this was something else entirely. “I want to beat the life out of him!”

I felt the raven-haired boy grip tightly onto my wrists, pushing me further back into my memory. The same way Kore had his hands as he squeezed me down on the ground, the same way my blood ran molten hot beneath my skin. “I want to scare him like he scared me. I want to scare him like the heartless scared him.”

“What do you want to do Hikari?” The boy growled behind me.

“I want to fight!”

The wind whirred, something had changed it’s current. My arms felt heavier, grasping a cold metal and slowly I opened my eyes.

There it was.

Gold and violet, my keyblade was long, and ornate. The head was in the shape of a sun with extended rays and a crescent moon, protecting a large blush pink gem in the centre of it. It gleamed in the light, the shaft a single bar surrounded by the gold wiring wrung around to the handle from the tip above. The hand guard was the shape of a heart, put together by baroque styled wings all tied together by it’s violet chain to the emblem of a heart in a crown as the keychain.

I was trembling, taken over by shock and excitement. I did it, I freaking did it! I grinned and turned over in an instant, showing the boy the weapon, unable to control my wide smile. I closed my hands and it vanished in my palms in a burst of light. I opened them once more and there it was once again.

“See? I—“

I ran into the boy’s arms, hugging him so tightly I was probably cutting off his circulation.

“Thank you!” I exclaimed. “Thank you so much!”

He was completely still which made me realize what I’d done. I pulled away quickly and giggled.

“S-sorry,” I found myself whispering. “I just… I never thought I could do it.”

He looked at me with a cocked brow before turning away, trying so hard to look unbothered but I caught him blushing.

“Only because I’m such a good teacher,” he muttered.

I pulled my hand to my lips curiously, looks like he was the one out of his comfort zone now. I circled around him, trying to catch his eye but he kept looking elsewhere.

“What are you doing?” He demanded.

“You’re nervous,” I observed. 

“Nervous?” He scoffed but still refused to look at me. “I don’t even know how to spell it.”

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

I watched him struggle to find some kind of witty comeback but simply sighed and looked down at me. 

“Happy now?”

“Almost,” I took a step closer to him but he stood boldly, it didn’t change the fact that he was blushing though. Well if he wasn’t going to back down, neither was I. 

“Who are you?”

“Who do you think I am?” 

“Still playing games, I see,” I scoffed and began walking off. I could hear him right behind me.

“Come on,” I heard him teasing, trying to incite me to play along. “Everybody likes games.”

“I much prefer books,” I frowned as we headed towards the lake. The moon reflected off it so beautifully, causing the ripples of the water to shimmer in it’s light. 

“Games are for children,” I concluded. He may have done me a great favour but there was no way I admit defeat and bow down to him.

He flashed before me, that evil smile back on his lips, “not my games.”

A shiver ran up my spin as he spoke. His good looks didn’t deter from the nerves his voice brought me.

“What are your games?” I tried to stand strong, be just as cocky.

Suddenly, he leaned down to my ear. I felt his hot breath against my cheek and he smelt of amber and spice, almost intoxicatingly so.

“You don’t want to know, they’re very… adult.”

I gulped and by his low chuckle I knew he knew he’d won this round. I was speechless and my stomach was flipping back and forth, my body burning like coal.

I felt him place his hand on my lower back, dragging me forward into him. We were chest-to-chest once again but instinctively, I brought my hands against him.

“Do you want to be an adult, Hikari?”

He pulled away from my ear, tilting my head upwards and gazing down into my eyes. I was trapped, staring up at him, into those golden orbs.

“Should I make you an adult, Hikari?”

My heart was pulsing rapidly, my stomach spinning, and somewhere in my core was throbbing. I should have looked away, run away really but as scared as I was I felt so excited, completely enthralled. He was so close to my lips, eyes lowered, that same troublesome smile.

“Should I, Hikari?”

My body burned each time he said my name. With each syllable, each letter, he convinced me further and further. I nodded slowly, biting my lower lip and yearning for these adult games so bloody badly.

In a moment he released me. My head spun and I almost toppled over looking back at the boy with the dangerous smile.

“Maybe next time,” he chuckled and began walking off.

“Hey!” I croaked. “You don’t get to just leave. Who are you?”

“Tell you what,” he threw a hand in the air so casually it pissed me off. “I’ll you the next time I see you, just as long as you promise to keep this little rendezvous to yourself.”

“Well when’s the next time?”

He stopped and suddenly I saw black and dark purple smoke appear before him. It swirled before a dark portal appeared to open, the smoke still engulfing the doorway. I couldn’t hide my surprise, even when he turned to face me.

Somehow he looked more menacing yet sultry as those eyes seemed to undress me and my heart began to race once again.

“When you want me bad enough,” he announced. “I’ll be there.”

And like that, he walked into the portal and was swept away by the smoke.

—

I couldn’t get that jerk off my mind. All weekend I found myself thinking back to him, no matter how hard I tried to distract myself with books and homework. I could still see his eyes just staring at me and the words he said. Every time, my face would go red and unluckily for me, often I’d be in our living with my roommates who would constantly ask me what was wrong. Weirdly enough, I didn’t tell anybody about my meeting with that stranger. It was more out of spite rather than fear of the consequences. I didn’t need help from my friends with this case, I could figure it out on my own.

Still, every night I found myself enthralled with the incident. Something had completely come over me, was it desire? I didn’t know what those “adult games” were but I had a vague idea and somehow, awkward, anti-boy Hikari had managed to say she wanted to play. Who was I turning into? I tried not to dig too deep into it, it had to be the excitement of summoning my keyblade. I hadn’t been myself, there was no way I would have behaved like that normally.

I walked out of the locker room of our massive gym in my red and white t-shirt and shorts. I was nervous for this Monday’s lesson as we’d be expected to summon our keyblades as well as meet Master Terra who would begin joining in teaching us. As usual, my friends said he was good natured but another pair of eyes on me was never a good thing. I ran to join them in line where they had all managed to find a spot towards the middle.

“Afternoon recruits,” master Aqua greeted us in her battle gear. I remembered about her telling us how in coming weeks we’d have to submit our measurements and design ideas for our choice of wear. The moment I’d told Mari she’d immediately begun sketching ideas, she was definitely way more excited for it than I was.

“Afternoon Master Aqua!” We all bowed.

I had to say, I admired Aqua’s look with it’s black and blue halter, high-neck, sleeveless top. There was a pink X across her chest with a silver heart-shaped symbol bringing them together. I watched her walk by the front row, observing us with a close eye in her black shorts, black thigh-high socks, and white bell-shaped sleeves. She pulled on her tan fingerless gloves and the blue and white cloth tied around her waist swayed in unison of her steps. All we could hear was the clacking of her pointed, armoured boots with each step she took.

She was examining us in our uniforms, looking for a hair out of place or some hesitation. Soon enough, she smiled and returned to the front.

“It’s good to see everyone here in top shape,” she said. “Well everyone, today is the first official day of your combat training. Together with Master Terra, we’ll be helping you develop your skills in battle.”

The gym door creaked and a brawny, tall man stepped through.

“Speak of the devil,” Aqua smirked.

His skin was tan, similar to Sora’s actually with cerulean blue eyes and chocolate coloured brown hair that spiked downwards to the nape of his neck and bangs that framed his chiseled jaw and smouldering eyes. I couldn’t help but go red in the face looking at his chest as he reached us. His shirt was skintight, grey and black with a red X strapped against him. I could see every detail of his torso which was completely in opposition to the wide legged dark grey and tan pleated pants he wore. I noticed he had the same memento as Aqua but in gold and it hung from his hips. His shoes were similar as well but were boots armoured in a deep brown and gold. As he faced us, feet firmly planted on the ground I caught site of the strange contraption on his arm. It looked to be some kind of armour, black, gold, and red; reaching to the bottom of his hand with fingerless gloves, on his other arm there was only a simple black wristband. I couldn’t help but wonder what that gauntlet was for.

“Recruits, meet Master Terra,” Aqua announced.

“Afternoon Master Terra!” Once we again we all bowed in unison.

“Afternoon,” his voice was kind, something I honestly hadn’t expected just looking at him. I noticed both he and Aqua seemed to pay special attention to where my friends and I stood.

“Today’s the big day,” Aqua grinned. “The first of many. Today is all about summoning your keyblades and finding out where you stand with them.”

“I know a lot of you may feel that you’ve mastered your craft,” Terra spoke, again eying my friends. “But even after the exam when you do become Masters there is still always more to learn. Never underestimate your opponent or yourself.”

“Yes,” Aqua agreed. “A war _is_ coming, it’s simply a matter of when.”

I gulped at the thought of this ever looming battle. It was the whole reason we’d been chosen right? To become masters and save the worlds? Nobody could, or would rather, tell us exactly what this threat was, just that there was a threat. I shook off my nerves, I couldn’t get upset about that now. I had to focus.

“All right,” Aqua clapped her hands together. “Terra you take the left and I’ll do the right. Let’s start summoning those keyblades.”

The two made their way down the aisles and as Terra was quickly approaching I could feel myself panic. I tried to focus on my breathing, remembering what that weirdo in the forest had taught me. I closed my eyes just focusing on my will to fight, I just had to fight.

“Hikari,” Xion whispered.

I opened my eyes to see Terra standing before me, smiling down. I glanced to my friends and saw them all with their keyblades by their sides. I hadn’t even had to the time to look at the intricate designs and colour I’d been so hyper focused on not failing.

“Hikari,” Terra leaned forward and I bit my lip. “Can you please summon your keyblade?”

“My keyblade…” My golden skin paled and I held out my hand. “Right.”

It was now or never. Instinctively I shut my eyes and thought of that night, thought of the fire in my veins, the thing that brought me here in the first place. I thought of the boy who’d stood behind me, forcing me to face it, forcing me to push past the panic, forcing me to fight.

I felt a familiar weight in my hand and opened my eyes to see it again. It was glorious, although heavy in my hand. Terra’s eyes examined it, perplexed.

“I don’t recognize this one…” he mumbled to himself. “Aqua.”

The blue-haired woman jogged towards us as I handed Terra my weapon and soon looked equally as confused.

“Do you know it?” Terra asked her. She took it and slashed it to her side before shaking her head.

“It doesn’t ring any bells.”

Aqua handed me back my keyblade before heading back to finish her examination.

“Do you have any classes with Master Yen Sid, Hikari?”

“Right after this one actually,” I answered.

“When he has a moment, show him your keyblade. He may have some answers to it’s origin,” Terra pet my head, a gesture which strangely made me smile. “Understood?”

“Yes, Master Terra.”

—

My first real combat class had gone okay. I spent the time mostly getting used to the weight of my keyblade, figuring out my battle stance and daydreaming about what possible abilities I might unlock within myself. Terra and Aqua seemed unsure of how to train me without knowing the origins of my blade so I knew it was incredibly important to talk to Master Yen Sid. I kept my eyes on the clock the entire Worlds History class, even Roxas had pointed out how distracted I was and he never paid attention. I explained to him I was just eager to talk to our teacher.

Finally the class had ended and the students started filing out of the room.I packed up my things but noticed Roxas wasn’t in much of a rush to leave for once.

He saw me staring and smirked, “what? Now you got me curious too.”

My eyes rolled with a playful smile and together we approached the old wizard.

“Master Yen Sid?”

He looked up at us from his desk, intrigued.

“Roxas, Hikari,” he said our names as if he was studying them. “How can I help you?”

“Well,” I began. “In combat we summoned our keyblades for Master Terra and Aqua but they couldn’t recognize mine. They said you could help.”

He nodded and gestured before his desk, “please.”

I took that as my cue and stood at the foot of his desk. He sat staring at me and Roxas stood alongside him, arms crossed. I took a deep breath and in a flash of light my keyblade was in my hand.

We both looked at the old master as he dragged his hand down his forked beard.

“Just a moment.”

He rose from his seat to his true stature and gracefully made his way along his many book shelves.

“It’s just here… Ah, yes.”

From the top of one of the shelves he pulled out a worn out burgundy coloured book. He took a seat back at his desk and opened the yellowed pages. Roxas and I stood behind him, peering over his shoulder to see pages upon pages of black ink written descriptions and drawings before we finally saw a replica of my keyblade.

“Just as I suspected,” Yen Sid hummed. “Halcyon.”

“Halcyon?” I repeated.

“Yes,” Yen Sid stroked his beard once more. “It’s a very ancient keyblade, it hasn’t had a wielder for many years. The battle ahead is sure to be brutal if it would find it’s way to you.”

My lips pursed as I looked down at the illustration of my blade, even though it had no colour, it still looked striking against the page. I had to wonder for such an old weapon, why would it find itself in the hands of someone with no experience in battle?

“There isn’t much research on Halcyon,” Yen Sid told us, his eyes also still focused on the text. “But you are more than welcome to study what you can.”

His wrinkled, but delicate fingers pulled the ribbon from the spine of the novel and marked the page before he closed it and slide it my way. Gently, I picked it up and bowed, thanking him as Roxas and I left the room.

“We gotta check this out,” Roxas grinned and led me to a nearby bench. We sat together and opened the novel once more.

“Halcyon,” I muttered and scanned the page. We looked through the book and Yen Sid was right, there was barely any information on my keyblade besides it’s expertise in magical attacks.

“It says here you can duplicate it,” Roxas said, leaning in closer to me. I blushed but he was so wrapped up in the novel on my lap he hadn’t noticed. “And look, ‘it’s suspected Halcyon is made up of pure light’.”

I nodded along and frowned at a distinct passage.

“But look here,” I pointed. “‘Halcyon is suspected to be exceptionally difficult to wield successfully due to its unstable nature. Scholars suspect that its unpredictability is the cause for its lack of key-bearers’.”

“Ouch,” he leaned his back against the wall behind us. “Maybe you could trade it in?”

I glared at his cheeky smile as he referenced one of the stupid jokes I’d sent him about car commercials in our private messages.

“Ha-ha,” my lips pouted and I closed the book. “What am I going to do? I’m not a fighter and I got stuck with a weapon that has an attitude problem.”

“You’re just going to have to fight through it,” Roxas shrugged. “I mean what choice do you really have, right?”

“You’re right,” I sighed. “I just don’t even know where to start. Clearly only practicing in class won’t be enough.”

“I could train you.”

I gawked at him and he faked a gasp.

“What? You don’t think I could do it?”

“I have my doubts.”

He kissed his teeth, “believe it or not Hikari, when it comes to fighting, I know my shit. Just ask Riku, even he’s admitted he could never beat me.”

I was nibbling on my bottom lip trying to figure out what to do. I mean, it wasn’t a bad idea to get the extra help and I would definitely need it.

“Well… I guess I could use your help.”

He smiled wickedly and leaned into me, “I’ll have you kicking ass in no time.”

“Well I’ll kick yours if you’re an asshole to me during it.”

He laughed but I was serious. I stuck out my pinkie towards him, he looked back with a raised brow.

“It’s just going to be a little bit of extra help, okay? Nothing too extreme, promise?”

Beaming, he linked his pinkie to mine.

“Promise.”


	7. Battle Stance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas and Hikari begin their training together and she joins he and his best friends on the roof but this leads to Xion questioning the redhead’s intentions.

It was a new day which meant the beginning of my training sessions with a certain blond. I’d been worried about it but knew how important it was to get all the help I could.

Roxas and I spent a lot of time together, mainly due to our schedules but I found myself having a lot of fun with him so when he suggested training me as nervous as I had been I had to agree it was a pretty good idea.

I turned in the mirror, looking at the spandex shorts I’d thrown on. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were appropriate for training with him. I mean he was a guy, was dressing like this okay? Would he even notice or care? I was being silly, my clothes didn’t matter. Still, I tossed over a baggy sweatshirt on top of the matching black sports top that went with the shorts. My legs were bare, only wearing ankle socks before my white sneakers but I thought I looked okay. It was just training.

Although, I did worry for what he had in mind. I’d talked to Sora about Roxas’ fighting ability and he’d practically gushed about how strong the blond was. I didn’t think I’d reach anywhere near his level, especially not after one session but I hoped I’d just be able to protect myself.

I left my room, tying my hair as I made my way down the hall. Upon reaching the living room I was greeted by my roommates studying.

“Hey Hikki,” Kairi grinned. “Where you off to?”

“Roxas said he’d help train me,” I replied. “We’re starting tonight.”

“Oh?” Xion cocked a brow which made me nervous instantly.

“Yeah… Why?”

“Oh nothing,” she turned back to her textbook. “Just surprising. Roxas can be really…”

“Closed off?” Kairi suggested.

“Yes,” the raven-haired girl agreed. “But I’m happy to see him finally opening up again.”

“Cause of the Namine stuff?” I asked. There I went again, unable to mind my own business.

She nodded, “but it doesn’t matter now. Just as long as he’s happy and it seems like you’re doing that Hikki.”

My cheeks reddened and I went to grab two bottles of water from our fridge. I never intended to make him happy or anything like that but it couldn’t be helped, I supposed. Besides, he’d been the one to reach out to me, I wouldn’t push him away.

There was a knock at our door and I headed over quickly, knowing it must have been the blond in question. I pulled open the door and there he stood in a pair of red sweats cinched at the ankles, black sneakers and a loose white sleeveless hoodie. His hands were tucked in the pockets of the shirt and the hood was over his head. I couldn’t help but blush at his cocky smirk. He was far too pretty to trust.

“Ready?”

I nodded, shaking out of my thoughts before turning to my roommates. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“You better go easy on her Roxas!” Kairi warned. “Or it’ll be your ass on the line.”

“If you get one scratch on her we’re coming for you blondie,” Xion threatened.

I laughed as he waved them off and we headed down the hall.

“I know a really good spot,” I told him as we made our way outside. “I found it last week. It’s in the forest but it’s really private.”

“Private?”

“Yeah, that way can focus.”

“Uh-huh,” I peeked up at him, he didn’t seem convinced. Still, I handed him the extra water bottle I’d been holding.

“And this is for you.”

“Oh, thanks,” he replied. “I much prefer cash as a form of payment for my services though.”

“Whatever,” I sniggered. “Follow me.”

—

Just as all the times before, the forest was empty, although hotter than usual. I was already exhausted as for the past thirty minutes Roxas had me stretching and was torturing me with simple exercises. I thought I’d collapse but he was clearly having the time of his life seeing me suffer.

“And… Done.”

I fell onto my back, my chest heaving up and down as I struggled to catch my breath. I could have sworn I tasted metal in my mouth when the grinning face of the blond huddled over me.

“Now we can start training.”

I frowned and struggled my way onto my knees. It was a good thing I’d started working out in the summer or else I definitely would have fainted by now.

Roxas prattled on about the importance of figuring out a battle stance but I was barely listening. My sweatshirt clung onto my torso, glued together by sweat. I hated the sticky feeling and stripped it off. Friends or not, boy or girl; there was no way I’d succumb to being trapped in it with all this heat. As I rose to my feet I pulled up the hem of my shorts to my waist. The top was less of a shirt and more of a sports bra, still, the haltered collar kept me both covered and supported.

Turning back to the blond I noticed him staring at me with uneasy eyes. Was he nervous? All because of this outfit? He’d seen me in a miniskirt since I’d started here.

“Don’t be a perv,” I teased and that shook him out of his thoughts. “It’s too hot out here.”

“Gross,” there was that cocky grin. “You’re like the size of a toddler, you wish.”

“A toddler you keep staring at,” I approached him with a sly smile of my own. The blond looked elsewhere until I nudged him in the shoulder. “Come on, just admit you were staring.”

Roxas rolled his eyes playfully, “let’s work on your battle stance.”

Well that was the end of that. I chuckled and summoned my keyblade, handing it off to the blond. He examined it carefully, even giving a few quick slashes in the air. He tossed it back to me and placed a firm hand on his hip.

“Alright, show me what you got.”

“So… Nothing?”

His brows furrowed but I only shrugged in response. The furthest I’d gotten was summoning the damn thing, I couldn’t actually use it.

“You’ve never fought at all?” Roxas questioned. “Not even a tussle or two in school?”

“Nope,” my lips popped with the P.

Roxas stepped in close to me, the smell of rosewood brushing my nose. His eyes were intense and that goofy smile was gone. He examined my face thoroughly, causing my cheeks to burn before he turned me around in his arms.

“R-Roxas!”

“Hold out Halcyon.”

Craning my neck back, all I could see was the flexed muscle of his shoulder and I could feel his firm chest pressed against my back. He was way too close and immediately I was tense. Still, I did as I was told.

With my keyblade pointed forward I gnawed on my lower lip. What exactly was he doing? It didn’t take long to find out when his hands found my hips.

“Move in closer to me.”

His voice was right in my ear, dark enough to raise the hairs on my skin. He was completely obtuse to what he was asking. This was far too intimate for just a training session.

But he tilted my hips firmly into his pelvis before sliding a hand down my thigh to pry my legs apart.

“No…” he muttered. “Not like this.”

He twisted my body to the side and bent me down forward. “Better…” He whispered.

Roxas lowered my arms to the ground, the head of Halcyon hit the dirt and his hands manoeuvred over mine on the hilt.

“Just like that,” I was beaming in a cherry red at those words. His skin was incredibly soft and his touch was tender. “Do it just like that.”

I could feel my knees quivering, wanting to buckle at the unintentional eroticism of his voice. I swallowed back my nerves, trying my best to focus on the task at hand but he was of no help with him so close to me.

“Yeah, that feels right,” a hand slithered from my hands to my stomach. “Good, keep your core tight.”

It wasn’t on purpose but I was glad my panic was doing some good. That hand left there and found itself on my jaw forcing my head to tilt down.

“Focus ahead,” my eyes flickered from the ground to straight ahead. I had to admit, this was a pretty comfortable stance, one I did feel I could manage to get into on my own.

The warmth of Roxas breath breezed over my ear, “does that feel good, Hikari?”

I collapsed to my knees.

“Hikari!”

“I-I’m okay!” I scampered to my feet and clutched onto my keyblade for dear life. “That’s great, thanks!”

Roxas glanced at me bemused as I quickly got back in the stance to prove I was okay.

“Still needs work,” he said. “But I can show you some of the basics like that.”

So we spent the next hour or so going over simple cuts and blocks. Although he was still pretty hands-on, it was nothing as distracting as when we first started. He was quick to correct any of my errors or manipulate them in a way to make them functional. He really was a big help and by the end of our very first lesson I was feeling both confident and sore.

“Good stuff today.”

“Thanks. You weren’t too bad yourself sadboy.”

He smirked as we made our way back into the building. There weren’t too many students around as we entered seeing as it was nearing the evening.

“Hey, wanna watch the sunset?”

My cheeks flushed and I looked to the blond, “what?”

“Axel picked up some ice cream and he’s up on the roof with Xion now,” he didn’t notice my embarrassment as he glanced through his phone. Thankfully.

“Oh, um, I d-don’t want to intrude,” I stuttered.

“Intrude?” The scoffed and took my hand. “You? Never. Come on weirdgirl.”

There was no time to debate when the blond dragged me to the library. It was almost completely empty which I was happy about as he still held a tight hold of my hand. We headed upstairs and snuck onto the roof where Xion and Axel were seated on the edge chatting with their ice cream. The two were dressed casually, black sweats and a knit cardigan on Xion and a pair of sweats on Axel as well with a red sleeveless hoodie similar to Roxas’. I was glad I’d tossed on my sweatshirt right after training.

“About time you got here,” Axel grimaced. “Oh, hey Hikki.”

I waved awkwardly, doing my best to avoid Xion’s confused stare as he dragged me to the edge. I noticed the two focus in on our hands and somehow managed to redden further. He seated us between them, Xion on my side and Axel on his.

The blond was quick to engage in banter with his friends, completely clueless to our interruption. Axel handed him two of the popsicles and he handed one over to me. I unwrapped it slowly, hoping to disappear behind the frozen treat as they discussed their classes and other matters over my head.

It was hard to get comfortable in a group like this. From what little I knew they’d already been through so much together, there was no way I could manage to fit in or anything like that. So I kept my head down, licking at my ice cream quietly and occasionally looking into the blues fade to violets in the sky.

“How’d you spend your summer, Hikari?”

I blinked out of my thoughts and looked to the girl at my side.

“Um, well, just spent it with my family,” I mumbled. “Nothing exciting really.”

“Family, huh?” Axel leant back on the hand he used to prop himself up. “How was that?”

“Okay, I guess,” I shrugged. “Mari and her dad are the only family I’ve ever had. Never met my parents. I’m not even sure if I have any really.”

The group was quiet and I forced an awkward laugh, “sorry, that’s kind of weird thing to say, isn’t it?”

“No,” Roxas dismissed the idea immediately. “You’re literally preaching to the choir here.”

That was right, they’d been nobodies. I still didn’t know much about it but Kairi had indulged me into a few details when I’d gotten too curious and asked why so many of her friends looked alike. The idea fascinated me honestly and upon returning _Apocalypse_ to the library, I’d picked up a text on hearts. The theories and commentary in it was a lot of scientific dribble I barely understood but the idea of another version of yourself existing simultaneously to you if your heart was strong enough was both intriguing and terrifying.

“Good point,” the made the three laugh. I was grateful, I hadn’t meant to offend anybody.

“Do you at least know where you were born?” Xion asked. “If you wanted to find out maybe you could start there.”

My head shook, “Lucas said he adopted me from this orphanage after his wife died. Guess he thought I’d be good company for Mari. But the agency’s long gone now, so are my records probably.”

“Does it bug you?” We glanced to Axel, a melancholy look on his face. “Not having a past.”

“Hm,” I pondered over the question. “That’s the thing, I think people expect it to bother you… You know, your history is supposed to mean something when it comes to your identity but I’ve never really cared to learn about mine. By the time I could make memories I had Mari and Lucas… What do I need a history for? Besides, I doubt it’s anything exciting.”

“Well aren’t you the little pessimist?” Roxas nudged my shoulder. “Maybe your nickname should be sadgirl.”

“No way, I customized that one just for you,” I replied sarcastically. “It’s just if I spent all this time being sad about not knowing then I’d be sad forever. Lucas didn’t have to take me in, it couldn’t have been easy but he did and I’m forever grateful for it.”

“Well that isn’t pessimistic at all,” Xion smiled. “Guess sadboy stays.”

We were laughing along again when Axel spoke up. “It’s kind of nice not knowing in a way.”

“You think so?” Roxas cocked a brow.

“Yeah,” the redhead nibbled at his ice-cream. “You can’t miss someone you never knew.”

“You’re right.”

A sad smile graced Xion’s lips, “that’s what hurts the most though, being forgotten.”

“What do you mean?” Curiosity got the best of me.

“Well let’s say they’re out there, thinking about you,” she spoke slowly. “But you’ve forgotten all about them.”

“Xion…” Roxas reached out to the raven-haired girl and took a hold of her hand. I wasn’t sure what exactly was going on but I placed a hand over her shoulder.

“No one’s ever really forgotten, Xion,” her watery eyes looked to mine. “People always make an impact on each other, big or small. And hearts… As complicated as they are they just won’t let you forgot. You become a memory really, waiting to be… well, remembered.”

My hand retreated over my lips, a chuckle escaping my lips, “does that make sense?”

She nodded gradually and fought back the tears forming in her eyes, “we’re just a bunch of sad saps aren’t we?”

“Totally,” I laughed. “Sadboys R’ Us.”

That lightened the mood and soon enough we were joking around about school and discussing what fresh antics and gossip Axel had managed to stumble upon.

“I don’t get why they’re all so scared,” he said. “I’m a changed man now.”

“Maybe it’s cause you’re a seven foot giant,” I suggested, earning a laugh from the other two.

“Ha-ha,” his eyes rolled as his lips simpered. “Seriously, everyone’s always staring, it’s frustrating.”

“Yeah,” Xion didn’t seem so pleased with the attention either. “I’m not sure if people want to thank me or if their afraid of me.”

“Could be worse,” Axel shuffled Roxas hair. “Could have you own little fan-club like pretty boy here.”

He sunk into his seat, “shut up.”

“He’s right,” Xion teased. “You’ve noticed too Hikari, haven’t you?”

My rosy cheeks were on full display yet again. How could I not notice? I was taken a back to find out my roommates were linked to so many good looking guys. I shouldn’t have been surprised, they were gorgeous but Roxas in-particular, with his cold stare or daring smile always had me on my toes.

I’d heard girls in my class whisper about the group, how sweet Sora and Ven were, how bold Axel was, how mature Riku is, but Roxas seemed to throw all the ladies off, myself included. There was a mystery to him, albeit it a sad one probably but it was intriguing nonetheless. He had a way of drawing you in, even when he was trying to push you away.

Maybe that’s how we’d become so friendly so quickly. I was a sucker for a good riddle and Roxas was definitely an enigma. Every time we spoke I felt myself learning more and more but it was never enough. I wanted his whole life story, just what was he about?

“I-I guess,” I squirmed in my seat. “I’ve heard them say a couple things.”

That I had, incredibly naughty things that could make a pornstar blush, especially in the change room. That’s where all the hot gossip was and the moment Kairi and Xion left the others started. I was invisible to them so it was easy to be a fly on the wall as the other girls went into detail about all the things they would do to my male friends if they got the chance. It came to a point even I was running out of the change room with my roommates, it was far too much.

“Like what?” Roxas cocked a brow.

I shook my head, “I’m not repeating it.”

“Oh come on,” Axel leaned in. Of course he was interested. “Spill.”

“Just super raunchy stuff,” the blond’s face matched the red of my own.

“Like what?” He repeated.

“Figure it out,” I smirked. There was no way I was going back to those memories, thinking them was embarrassing enough.

He groaned just as Xion, Axel, and I laughed at his expense. Maybe I’d tell him one day but definitely not today.

“I’m really glad I came,” I had to change the subject. “It’s been hard being here alone but you’ve all been so kind.”

“Of course,” the raven-haired girl said, finishing up her popsicle. “You’re one of us now and we look after our own.”

“Consider yourself one of my kids,” I felt Axel’s heavy hand over my head. “Welcome to the family, kiddo.”

With all this affection I couldn’t stop from beaming. I really did need the support, this was a whole new adventure and how lucky had I been to find it in this group.

“Looks like we’re all you’ve got,” Roxas’ captured my vision with that wolfish grin of his. “You’re hopeless without us, weirdgirl.”

I found myself laughing along with the others, finally reaching some kind of level of comfort. This wasn’t so bad, friends like these.

“It’s setting!”

We turned to sky Xion pointed towards to see the sun begin to fade. It was just as beautiful as the first time I saw it.

“Maybe it won’t be so frightening,” my voice uttered into the winds. “With all of you… I don’t have to be scared.”

There was a warmth around my neck before I found myself dragged to Roxas’ chest. I froze against him and felt his chin rest on the top of my head. My cheeks were flushed to feel him so close but I didn’t pull back.

“I’ll protect you,” his face was posed in that hopeless smile, eyes to the heavens.

I bit my lip to hide back a smile, “for now.”

—

“Have a goodnight guys.”

We’d manage to make it back inside just as the library was about to close and the guys had been kind enough to walk us to our dorm. Once were were safely inside I strolled into the kitchen to grab a drink.

“You and Roxas have gotten pretty close pretty fast.”

The tone of Xion’s voice was interrogational. I knew she had her suspicions about me, who wouldn’t? But none of it was my doing. I was just trying to be a good friend.

“Nah,” I brushed it off. “We just joke around.”

“Didn’t seem like much joking,” she muttered, hopping into the couch. I wanted to leave, take a hot shower and hide under my bedsheets but there was a glint in her eyes that told me to sit my ass down.

I grabbed a can of ginger-ale and sat on the other end with an unweary look.

“Xion, is something wrong?” I asked her directly. Whatever was going on I wanted to get to the bottom of it immediately. “Are we okay?”

She nodded slowly, “I really appreciate what you said… About not being forgotten.”

“Of course,” I grinned. “And I meant it! I might not know the details but I just feel like you should know that.”

Her head bobbed up and down once more but she seemed to be elsewhere. I considered asking her again if everything was alright when she spoke up once more.

“Roxas is my best friend, Hikari. Him and Axel, they’re like my Mari and Lucas.”

“I know, I saw it.”

“It’s just… When he and Namine broke up, I lost the Roxas I knew. He became so distant and cold and anything we tried to do to cheer him up just turned into a fight. He was broken and I hated myself for not knowing how to fix him.”

Her eyes were glossy and immediately I scooted in next to her and took her hand. “Oh, Xion…”

“I know, I know,” she continued. “It’s not my responsibility to fix him but its easier said than done. Seeing him so hurt and knowing I couldn’t get rid of that pain, it killed me. And Namine’s my friend too but it even put a strain on our relationship.”

As much as I wanted the details now was definitely not the time to inquire further.

“But then… then he met you,” her gaze was to the floor now. “This is gonna sound crazy but I was a little jealous. Here I was spending all summer trying to get him back to the old Roxas and then he meets you. It didn’t help that he messaged me to ask about you.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, he wanted to know what you’re deal was. When I asked him why he cared he tried to blow it off, saying you’re just strange and he was curious as to why… But I knew something was up. And it kinda hurt.”

“Sorry,” I sighed. “Honestly Xion, I was just in the wrong place at the right time. I think, well from what I know, Roxas just probably needed an out, you know? I mean break ups are never easy but on top of that your ex is still apart of your friend group? He probably just wanted space and lucky for him, my nosey-ass was creeping in the library.”

That got her to laugh, good. I wasn’t trying to replace her or anything evil like that. I just wanted to fit in where I could or at least go under the radar.

“I figured,” she replied. “I’m over it now, Riku helped me realize how stupid I was being. You’ll learn he’s weirdly good at that.”

The tension lifted as we laughed once more before she went on.

“I’m just glad he’s back to his old self. It’s just… He’ll never admit it Hikki but Roxas… His heart is fragile. Just… Just don’t break it.”

I gawked at the raven-haired girl who’s blue eyes stared right through me. I couldn’t imagine doing such a thing or even being put in a place to do so.

“I won’t,” my voice was stern. “Never. I could never do that.”

“Don’t be so sure,” she whispered. “He’s getting attached to you pretty quickly.”

I blushed, “yeah but that’s just cause I’m new. He’ll grow tired of me and my annoying antics pretty soon. If there’s one thing I know how to do it’s get rid of a guy.”

“Like… murder?”

“What?” My eyes almost fell from their sockets. “Xion, huh? No, not like murder! Jesus…”

She elbowed my side as she burst into laughter, I joined in soon enough..

“What are you two giggling about?”

Kairi emerged from the hall in a pair of cotton pink shorts and tank-top.

“Murder,” Xion answered simply which only made me chuckle harder.

Kairi rose a brow before approaching us from behind the couch. Her arms wrapped around our necks, pulling us into her. We still sniggered as she squished our faces closer to hers.

“What am I gonna do with you two little psychopaths?”

“Xion’s got a few ideas apparently.”

My eyes watered as I howled along with my roommates. If Orenda would give me more times like this with friends like this, I’d definitely be okay.


	8. Persuasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas invites Hikari to dinner with Axel. While getting ready she receives a call from Mari who informs her of some devastating news.

I breezed through the halls of campus after handing in my design for my battle wear. I had to say, I did like what Mari had come up with and was excited to show her the fruits of her labour. I really was grateful for her help otherwise I would have been totally lost when it came to this new gear.

“Hikki!”

My ears perked to the sound of my name when I spotted Roxas jogging towards me.

“Hey,” he approached, tablet in hand.

“Hey, you left class so fast I meant to ask you something.”

“Oh, I can’t train tonight,” figuring he wanted to ask about me cancelling our session through text. “I had to get fitted for my gear.”

“It wasn’t that,” Roxas stepped in front of me and pointed down to his tablet. I peered over to a large menu filled with dishes upon dishes of an ethnic variety.

“ _Killer Spice_?”

“Straight to the point, huh?” He handed me the device for me to browse through the menu. “They just opened up and their super close to base, just one stop away. We could even walk there. Wanna check it out?”

I gnawed on my lower lip, I was pretty hungry and I could never say no to a spicy dish.

“Sure. Who else is coming?”

“It’s date night,” the blond groaned with a roll of his eyes. “So it looks like it’s just you, me, and Axel.”

“Works for me,” I shrugged. “The fitting shouldn’t take long but I wanna shower so I’ll see you guys in an hour?”

That smile reappeared eagerly, “see you soon.”

—

There was no one home when I got back, they really must’ve been out on dates. I was curious to know what it was like. I’d never had a date and considering things it was probably for the best but still, it would have been nice.

I slipped into a pair of light, ripped jeans and my typical sneakers. For my shirt I tossed on a simple v-neck black sweatshirt. The place seemed pretty casual in the pictures I saw, there was no need to dress up.

Just as I grabbed my phone and wallet it vibrated and I picked up to see a voice call coming in from Mari.

“Hey Mar,” I said as I headed to the living room to wait for the others.

“Hey sis. I need some advice.”

I chuckled and took a seat on the couch, “shoot.”

“So as you know, I’m single,” she explained. “And as you know, I hate it.”

I chuckled, “yup, you remind me every time we talk.”

“Well I was out with Shani and Faye last night and these guys came up to us. We started talking and whatever but at first I wasn’t into it but then this one guy was flirting super hard. Honestly, he was laying it on pretty thick to be honest.”

“Yuck.”

“Hush,” I could practically hear her roll her eyes. “Anyway, we got to talking and I’m looking at this guy like I’ve seen him before. The more we talk the more I’m sure I’ve met him and it turns out he went to that party we went to at the end of the summer.”

“Uh huh,” my lips pursed. That party was one I really didn’t like thinking back on.

“Yeah, he was telling me how he was face-to-face with those— what do you call them?”

“Heartless?”

“Yeah, heartless. Man, that was such a crazy night.”

“Mhm,” I really didn’t want to talk about that night. “So what’s the problem?”

“Well I don’t think anything serious will come of it, is it even worth it to go out with him?”

“I mean didn’t you dump Dean because you didn’t want anything serious?” I remembered it so clearly, Mari had been whining for weeks that he’d become far too clingy and dropped him for that reason. Never being in a relationship I thought it was strange, as nothing sounded better than spending time with someone you cared about but she’d called me naive.

“Well, yes,” she sounded unsure but sighed. “I mean it’s just a date, doesn’t have to mean a thing.”

“Exactly,” agreeing I leaned back in my seat. “Just go out and have fun, that’s what you’d tell me.”

She giggled on the the other end, “you’re right. Well, Kore, looks like you’ve got yourself date.”

My muscles tightened, “what?”

“Oh, his name. It’s Kore. Kind of a stupid name to be—“

“You can’t go out with him!” I cried. Mari was silent on the other end as my hands clenched to fists. There was no way… This couldn’t be happening.

“What?” I could hear her confusion at my sudden outburst. “Hikari, what’s wrong? Do you know him?”

My chest tightened just as my breath shortened. I hadn’t ever expected to tell her about this, least of all over the phone. I was still so embarrassed that it had even happened.

“Hikari, talk to me,” Mari’s calm voice guided me back to my sense. “Are you okay?”

“A-at that party…” my breath was shaky. “Kore tried to… He tried to hurt me.”

Mari was completely silent on the other end. I swallowed back my anxiety but it did no good. My hands were shaking as I held onto my gummiphone, praying that she wouldn’t be mad at me.

“It’s done.”

My brows creased, “huh?”

“I’m not seeing him,” she responded simply. “Unless it’s to beat his ass.”

I couldn’t stop myself and let out a hearty laugh which she soon joined in. I could always rely on her to keep up my spirits. I hated keeping secrets from her but I was so embarrassed about the entire event. Hell, it had been the reason I’d struggled to summon my keyblade in the first place.

I couldn’t help but think of the strange boy I’d met in the forest and wondered if I should have confessed to her about that too. I’d been trying to forget him but he managed to cross my mind every so often. I had to investigate further before I let anyone in. He didn’t seem all that dangerous and I was probably foolish but I believed I could handle him.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Ki?” Mari spoke softly. “Dad and I could have reported him for you if you were scared.”

“I guess I just wanted to pretend it never happened,” I said. “It was terrifying and the idea of having to retell it, in detail? There’s no way. I just… I just never want to see him or hear about him for as long as I live.”

“You got it,” she responded with a cheerful tone. “He’s dead and gone.”

There was a knock at my door and rose from my seat.

“Who’s that?”

“Probably Roxas,” walking to the door, I filled her in on my plans for the night. “We’re going out for dinner.”

“Just the two of you?” I could practically hear her lips curl.

“Uh, no,” I shut that down real quick. The last thing I needed was her to join in the teasing. “Axel’s coming too.”

I unlocked my door to see the same two I’d just been talking about in the hall. Axel was in all black as usual; ripped jeans, t-shirt and combat boots. Roxas also kept it simple in a pair of denim blue jeans ripped at the knees, white sneakers and a black hoodie.

I stepped back to grab my wallet and keys before stepping out.

“They’re here so I’ll text you later okay?”

“Sure thing, man-eater.”

I laughed just as she did before hanging up and turning to the redhead and blond before me.

“Sorry, it was Mari. You guys ready?”

“And waiting,” Axel whined. “I’m starving.”

“So sorry your highness,” I mockingly bowed causing Roxas to chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah,” his arms hooked around our necks, drawing us in closer to him. “Always making fun of the old man, eh?”

We headed out for the main gates of campus and during our short walk, Roxas chatted excitedly about just how he’d found this place. He was right, it was really close by, less than a fifteen minute walk exactly. The outside of the building was the same as all the others in the city but the inside was a colourful mess. There were wild patterns, bright colours and mismatching furniture. It was an eccentric setting with very casual seating of rugs on the floor. We were greeted by a waiter with spiky blue and green hair, definitely matching the aesthetic of a place like this.

We were seated at a round, black table, handed menus and brought water before our waiter left to attend to his other guests.

“Your meal’s on me tonight, Rox,” Axel said from behind his menu. “Consider it an early birthday gift.”

“That’s right, your birthday’s coming up isn’t it?” Kairi had mentioned it once or twice and how stuck the group was when it came to getting him a gift. I hadn’t known him too well but offered to pitch when they figured it out. “Your 18th right?”

He nodded slowly, not taking his eyes from the menu.

“Your about to be an entire adult,” I joked. “Excited?”

“Barely,” Roxas muttered. There was a tension on his face that told me to drop the subject but Axel’s eyes flickered to the blond then on me.

“You good?” He asked simply.

“Yeah…” I shrugged and set the menu down. He turned towards me and sighed, “sorry Hikki. Just not really into celebrating this year. There’s been a lot going on.”

“No worries,” I replied, probably far too quickly. “We’ve all been there.”

“Oh yeah?” Axel’s brows perked with curiosity.

I nodded, “when I turned thirteen Mari took it upon herself to throw me this huge party despite the fact that I was an antisocial mess—“

“Still are,” Roxas teased.

I rolled my eyes with a smile. “ _Anyway_ , she gets her friends to help her plan it, a huge blow-out at our place. Her two uncles came over while Lucas took me out shopping but I was none the wiser. We get back to our place and of course, big surprise, here’s a bunch of preteens I’ve never as much said a word to.”

“Yikes,” the blond cringed.

“Yup, I made an excuse to go upstairs and was fuming but Mari being Mari thinking she always knows what’s best for me made me feel so guilty for being mad. So I sucked it up, came down for cake and gifts and spent the rest of the night huddled in my room while they partied downstairs.”

“Seriously?” Axel asked in disbelief.

“It was the worst,” I shrugged. “And it’s like you can’t be mad because at least someone cares enough about you to do something like that but when it’s not your thing there no way you can get comfortable in a setting like that.”

“I would’ve lost my shit,” Roxas shook his head. “Completely.”

“Well, I was kinda thirteen so I didn’t really have any shit to lose.”

The two boys fell into a laugh I soon enough found myself apart of. I lost myself in conversation with thr, discussing everything from gaming to professors on campus. Soon enough we’d placed our order and the waiter returned around twenty minutes later with our platters of spicy food. We were digging in when the conversation shifted to that of Twilight Town.

“So Hayner, Pence, and Olette are your friends?” I asked Roxas, taking a spoonful of my rice. I’d decided to with a gumbo drenched in sausages, shrimps and veggies. The aroma was oddly sweet and the dish was definitely flavourful. Axel had gone with a curry and way too much pita bread while Roxas was happily storing away the hottest thing on the menu, a special jambalaya recipe. He went at it as if it was ice cream while I was chugging back water after each bite.

“Yeah,” Roxas replied. “They’re great. Even pulled through to help me keep my place back home when I came here.”

“Nice,” swallowing back my food, I immediately reached for my water. “At least you didn’t have to get rid of all your stuff.”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “But I still did.”

“What?” Axel frowned.

“Well not everything” Roxas spooned his meal. “Just fun stuff, like my guitar.”

“You play the guitar?” I hadn’t heard that before. But it made sense, I’d often spotted him in the halls with his headphones on.

He nodded, “yeah, I used to.”

Axel sighed, “ _used to_? Roxas, why would you get rid of it?”

“Not like there’s time for it,” he rolled his eyes. “There’s a _war_ coming after all. Besides, the strings were on their last life anyway.”

His eyes were disinterested but he was hurting, no matter how well he tried to pass it off. Axel knew it too as he was quick to change the subject to bring up his spirits once again.

There rest of dinner went pretty good, no more moments of uncomfortable sadness. Still, I worried for the blond. After our first talk on the roof I knew he was skeptical but I didn’t know he was down right depressed.I did my best with Axel to keep him laughing but once I got home I was beyond sure a party was the last thing he wanted.

When I entered my dorm it was empty, the girls must have already went to bed since it was around 10PM. The moment I got to my room I texted Axel quickly.

_“There is no way we can let Kairi throw him a party.”_

I was slipping into Lucas’ raggedy shirt when my phone began to vibrate. I opened it up to see Axel’s name spring up.

“Axel?”

“He needs a party,” Axel rushed to explain. “We need to get him out of this funk.”

“Well hello to you too,” I shut off the main light of my room before heading to my bed. “Dinner was great, thanks.”

“Hikari,” he groaned.

I sighed, “Axel if you guys throw him a party he’s going feel even worse.”

“So what are we supposed to do? Let him mope forever?”

“Of course not,” I hopped into my bed. “We just can’t throw him a party.”

No offence Hikari but you just met him, how can you be so sure about what he wants?”

Axel had a point, I wasn’t sure but I just had a strong feeling. He’d gone through a break up recently, why would anybody want to party after that? Even if it was their birthday.

“I don’t,” I admitted. “I just feel it.”

Axel sighed on the other end of the line, “well what do you suppose we do instead?”

“Well he likes gaming right, we could do something with that?”

“That’s too small, this is his 18th Hikari.”

“I know…”

“This is why we should just throw him a party.”

“Axel, be honest, can you really see Roxas being excited about a party in the current state he’s in?”

I could only hear him hum as he pondered it over. After what felt like an eternity he replied, “you’re right.”

By that response, he sounded defeated and I couldn’t help but feel guilty. They were all trying their best but some things just couldn’t be fixed with high energy, drinks, and friends. And from what I’d seen, this was one of them.

“I just… I just wanna make him happy… See him really smile again.”

The sentiment in his voice made my heartache for him. Just like Xion, Roxas’ hurting hurt him.

“Axel…”

“It’s fine,” he lied quickly before letting out a stiff laugh. “Geez, these human emotions… So annoying, eh?”

The question was rhetorical as he spoke again soon after, “okay so no party. What do we do?”

“I’m gonna do some research, I’m sure I’ll find something.”

“Research? So… stalking?”

“Yes and no.”

“I’m not even going to ask.”

I held back a laugh just as he asked his next question, “what about a gift? Any bright ideas there?”

A sly smile came to my lips, “actually… Yes.”

—-

Sora and I had grabbed lunch as quickly as we could and almost ran to the usual spot. Axel had signed off on my plan and was holding Roxas up so I could convince the others. I was happy to see everyone already there and just knew I could get them onboard with a little persuasion. A sat between Kairi and Xion with a wide grin at the others.

“Welcome to Operation Ravin’ Roxas comrades! Thanks for joining me for today’s meeting.”

Sora almost choked on his sandwich laughing with Ven and Xion while Riku rolled his eyes and Kairi glared at me, unimpressed. I hadn’t wanted her to think I was trying to steal her shine. It was just after last night, especially talking to Axel, a party was not a good idea. So, I’d let her and Xion know in the morning and told the others during our classes.

“First item on the docket,” I unwrapped the chicken wrap I’d picked up in the cafeteria. “The party.”

“What makes you think he really doesn’t want one?” Kairi pouted. “He’s been so gloomy, he needs to be surrounded by people that can get his mood up.”

“We went to dinner last night with Axel,” I began to explain. “Kai, he is loathing his birthday. He didn’t have to be specific but when it came up you could see the dread in his eyes.”

“Isn’t that why we should throw him a party?” Sora bit into his meatball sub.

“Right,” Ven agreed with a nibble of his lunch, a chicken sandwich. “How can he be sour with so many people around him celebrating him?”

“It’s Roxas,” Xion smirked. “He’ll find a way.”

“Well we won’t let him,” determination was all over Kairi’s demeanour.

“You can’t really control that Kai,” Rikucrossed his arms over his chest. “Maybe Hikari’s got a point.”

“I just don’t want you to go out of your way to organize this extravagant party of the century and he bails,” I turned to my fellow redhead who nodded slowly.

She let out a sigh, “you’re probably right. I keep trying to get him back to the old Roxas--“

Xion chuckled, “we’re all a little guilty of that.”

“He’ll get there,” I did my best to encourage their efforts. I didn’t know Roxas before this breakup but I knew his friends shouldn’t give up. I understood the feeling of defeat but with patience we’d get him back. I was sure of it.

“So then what should we do instead?” Sora questioned.

“Well Axel and I talked about it and I spent like an hour looking up different activities but I did find someplace kinda cool I think might work and he said you guys hadn’t been before.”

“The suspense is killing me.”

I glared towards Riku he only gave me a lazy smile. Yanking out my phone I scrolled through the notes of locations I’d come up with until I found exactly what I was looking for.

“It’s called Rally’s,” I set my phone on the table and immediately the others crowded it. “It’s a bits away, forty-five minutes but it’s apparently a hidden gem. The reviews said the food amazing and they boast having over a hundred arcade games, old and new. I know it’s super low-key and possibly even lame but it’s the best I could come up with.”

“Looks dope,” the brunette said with a wide-eyed grin. “He’d love this!”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely,” Kairi took the phone from the table for a closer look. “I was so focused on a party I hadn’t even considered something like this.”

“Mhm,” Xion agreed. “Roxas loves old school arcade games.”

“How did we not know about this place?” Ven muttered, preoccupied with his sandwich.

“Probably the distance,” Riku answered nonchalantly. “Either way, nice work Hikki.”

My face beamed with a smile as my cheeks reddened. “I-it’s nothing… Just seemed kinda fun.”

“So now that that’s solved,”the redhead brought our attention back to her. “We still need to figure out a gift guys.”

“Already covered!” Kairi handed me my phone and I flipped through it once more. “He’d mentioned having a guitar—“

“Didn’t he sell it?” Sora asked, looking to Xion.

“Yeah,” Xion sighed. “After we were summoned here.”

“But he loves music,” Kairi said with furrowed brows.

I cut in, “exactly! So after some searching I found this!”

The others crowded my phone once more.

“A Novacane?” Ven repeated.

I nodded eagerly, “they’re some of the best guitars on the market.”

“It better be for that price,” Riku muttered. “If we get him this we all deserve a feature on his first album.”

We lost ourselves in more laughter before I finally settled and explained my reasoning.

“I know it’s a lot but I think this is how we can bring back the ‘old Roxas. He needs something to distract him from all those moody thoughts he’s always having. Getting him back to music is a great start, don’t you think?”

“You’ve done it again, Hikki,” Xion smiled. “This is perfect.”

“It’s like you’ve been stalking him,” Sora joked. “You sure you two just met on the roof?”

“Ha-ha,” my eyes rolled with a smile. “I might have done a bit of creeping on social media but I mostly learned about him from you guys. I guess when you’re with someone all the time you don’t really think of the nuances anymore because you just know. You know?”

“No…” Ven gawked, Sora’s face followed. “I’m lost.”

Giggling, I nibbled back into my wrap, “it means Operation Ravin’ Roxas is a go.”


	9. For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Roxas’ birthday and the group can only hope that listening to Hikari has paid off.

“Next time I ever have the bright idea to wrap a freaking guitar, will one of you please stop me?”

My roommates watched me struggle on our living room floor with the flimsy blue and gold wrapping paper I’d picked up after getting the Novacane. The girls were both ready to go, Kairi in a colourful, knee-length summer dress and Xion in a pair of black jeans and yellow cropped sweatshirt. I’d been late to leave class due to Roxas whining for me to tell him what we had planned. Luckily Sora had swooped in just in time for me to escape.

So I’d ran home, threw on a black overall dress, white long sleeve shirt underneath and a pair of combat boots over my thigh-high socks. Then I’d ran out of campus to catch a taxi and pick up Roxas’ gift. It was a hassle to hunt it down but when I found a store that carried the perfect one I jumped on it.

“You insisted on it,” Kairi snickered. “Let my help.”

She joined me on the floor in my struggle to conceal sadboy’s obvious present.

“Me too,” Xion said as kneeled next to me. “But you’re hulking this big thing around Hikki.”

“No way,” I pouted as the two laughed at my expense.

—

My roommates and I arrived to Rally’s first and as expected, it wasn’t all that busy, perfect. We were seated fairly quickly and spent about fifteen minutes waiting before we saw the rest of our group stroll in.

Riku was the first to walk in wearing dark denim blue jeans, a pair of grey sneakers and sweatshirt before Sora came in grinning wildly behind him. He’d thrown on a red hoodie over a pair of black torn jeans and high top sneakers. He seemed to be in the middle of a story as Riku was clung on to everything he said. Axel finally emerged, in a black tee, boots, torn jeans, and a plaid shirt tied around his hips. He held out his arm for our special guest and Roxas cautiously stepped down the stairs of the dive bar in distressed light blue jeans, white sneakers and sweatshirt. He was trying to hide his excitement but as his eyes pondered over the more rugged scene of dark furniture, a well stacked arcade, pool tables and dozens of other people chattering at their own tables his excitement was clear.

The boys approached as I lifted the present we’d all pitched for.

“Happy birthday!” Kairi, Xion, and I chanted. They rushed to give him hugs before stepping aside. I approached him with the guitar, gleaming as I wished him happy birthday once more.

“This is from all of us,” I said handing him the guitar.

“And if you hate it,” Axel elbowed the blond. “Just know it was Hikki’s idea.”

The group burst into laughter as Roxas raised a knowing brow but I only shrugged. Yes, it was clear it was a guitar and yes my wrapping job looked like the work of a toddler but it was the thought that counted, right? He set his present down to open it up. I leaned over him, excited to see his face when he saw it. He tore at the wrapping paper gently before facing the black leather guitar casing. His eyes flickered to mine with a smile but I could only blush in response as he unhooked the silver clasps.

“We were kinda stuck on what to get you,” I admitted. “But then at dinner you mentioned your guitar…”

He lifted the lid and we were faced with the sleek black acoustic guitar with white lining and fresh silver strings.

“It’s a Novacane…”

“Yeah, I did a lot of research and they’re supposed to be really—“

“Thank you.”

He looked at me, almost teary-eyed. There was a rare sight I honestly wasn’t used to on his lips; a gracious smile. I clasped my hands over my chest, pleased to see how happy he was. He wasn’t even trying to hide it and from Roxas, that almost never happened.

“Of course,” I grinned. “I just thought it’d make a much better gift than a lifetime supply of seasalt ice cream.”

“Still one of my better ideas,” Axel replied. Roxas only shook his head with that same carefree grin and closed up the guitar. He slid it beneath the table and pulled me into his arms. I froze for a moment, dazed by his affection but soon enough my body settled comfortably into his just as I heard Kairi mention our waiter making their way over to us.

The night had been a lot more fun than I’d expected. We’d splurged on wings, nachos, fries and whatever junk food we could get our hands on. Dinner was a blast as we spent it joking around and it really gave me a chance to get to know the group better. I was a little disheartened that Ven hadn’t joined us but I figured it was for the best. Roxas always seemed weirdly hostile towards him and the last thing he needed on his birthday was any tension. I’d wanted to ask him about it but today was definitely not the day.

After dinner, we chatted a bit before losing ourselves in the arcade. There were glimmering lights and buzzings of sounds all over. I was pretty terrible at most of the games but so was Kairi so we chose to stick together. The group had dispersed all over, bumping into each other occasionally and versing one another in whatever we could.

The night was drawing to an end when Sora had challenged Kairi to an intense dance game. The two had been head to head, the game flashing colourful words as they each copied the moves of the digitalized, faceless bodies. They’d even managed to draw a small crowd with how much the machine was going off. Now that was one game we both believed she’d destroy him in but he’d passed with just five points over her. She demanded I reclaim her honour and pushed me onto the dance pad.

I wasn’t much of a dancer but if there was one thing I was way too good at it was following instructions.

“I’ll go easy on you,” Sora winked.

I scoffed, “as if.”

And like that, it was on. The music was bumping and I was on a roll. I stayed focused, copying each move as quickly as they rolled out. My competitive nature reeled its head but I was having fun as well. I could hear our friends cheering us on and I only pushed harder. Sora was just as competitive as I was but once the song ended I had him beat by ten points.

“Roxas, handle this!” The brunette demanded.

I laughed as he pushed the clearly awkward blond onto the platform.

“I don’t dance,” he whined.

“Neither did Hikari but she just won,” with one final shove he replaced Sora. “You got this. It’s your birthday, she’ll go easy on you.”

“Definitely not,” I smirked.

“You don’t have to,” he steadied his footing and gave me confident smile. “Try and keep up.”

“Oh, you’re done,” I swiped at the machine, choosing a song with a harder game level before returning to my station. The game counted us in along with our friends and as it hit the one we jumped into action. This song was much faster than the last I’d played but I was determined to kick his ass. He may have went easy in our training sessions but I would never award him the same luxury.

We were off, dancing along to the high energy of the tune as it bounced through the speakers. Our bodies were in perfect sync, following along but also glaring at one another every chance we got. I was pretty impressed to see him seem to tackle the game with ease. Although he was often relaxed, Roxas could be pretty stiff so the last thing I expected to see him be was a fairly good dancer.

Still, we were evenly matched with every move. Even with the more complicated dances that had us twisting our arms around rapidly as if we were mimes.

“You’re pretty good!” I called, hopping from one foot to the other.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” I heard him reply. “Still gonna lose though.”

“Never!”

I could barely focus on my score, only watching what my player directed. The music masked the sound of the claps and cheers from those behind us but none of that mattered. The song was nearing the end as the countdown appeared on the screen. I could hear the crowd count us down just as we leapt to the final move; a quick jump to the right and then another to the left, facing one another’s sweat beaded face.

There were cheers but my eyes narrowed on the blonde who’s chest was rising as rapidly as my own. I met his confidence grin with my smirk before turning to the screen. It blared, announcing a high score with an overly produced guitar riff but I just wanted to see who’d won. Another riff and finally the game revealed the winner.

“A tie!?”

Roxas and I stared back at one another bewildered. There was no way, the machine had to be broken, this was impossible.

“Damn,” Axel chortled. “Hey, at least you got high scores.”

“No way!” I pouted. “I definitely won.”

“As if,” the blond rolled his eyes. “And I’ll beat you again if you need me to prove it.”

Before I could reply Xion pulled me from the machine just as Riku went for Roxas.

“We’ll be here all night if we let that happen,” she giggled.

She was right. It was getting late and we had tons of homework awaiting us the next day. Plus if we stayed out any later we’d definitely get caught by the nightguards.

That didn’t stop Roxas and I from arguing the entire way home about who’d really won, much to the dismay of our friends. Overall, it had been a really lively night. Once we returned home the boys saw us off to our dorm and we wished the blond happy birthday once more.

“I’m not gonna lie, I was really worried I was walking into a party tonight.”

“I mean it’s what I’d do for my 18th,” Kairi shrugged.

“It is what you did do,” chuckled Xion as she leaned against our doorway. “And for Sora’s and Riku’s 19th.”

“But,” Kairi cut her off quickly with a glare which had me stiffening my giggle. “Hikari was pretty adamant about not throwing you one. So you can thank her for getting your ass handed to you.”

“We tied,” Roxas frowned as she unlocked our door and the two said their goodbyes before stepping into our place. The others said their goodnights as well and headed off. I turned to follow my roommates when Roxas called out for me.

“Hm?” I watched the blond rub the back of his neck, a crimson colouring his cheeks. “What is it Roxas?”

“I just… I just wanted to say thank you,” he murmured. “I know the others probably thought it be better to get me out there, especially Kairi but I really appreciate you talking them down. I’ve already been on the fence with Nightingale coming up but this was like a good detour. The Novacane, the bar… It was probably one of my better birthdays to be honest, if not my best.”

My eyes brightened, “really?”

“Yeah I—“

I hooked my arms around his waist and squeezed him in tight. We weren’t often too physical, especially led by me, but this was a special occasion and hearing how happy it had made him had me beaming. He’d seemed so sad about his birthday at dinner and after convincing Axel it had been pretty easy to get the others on my side.

I never claimed to know everything about him but his face was one I’d recognized too well. I knew the awkward position of being given something you hated and then feeling like shit for not appreciating someone’s efforts. Like I’d told him, Mari had done it for my own birthday back in the day and it was one of the worst I’d ever had.

“I just wanted you to be happy,” I whispered into his chest. “You’ve been hiding it but you’ve seemed kinda down.”

His arms wrapped around my shoulders, “yeah… Sorry.”

“It’s okay Roxas,” nuzzling into his chest, I could smell his intoxicating cologne. “You’re allowed to be sad. Just not on your birthday. And if you do you’ve got all of us here to help. We’ll do whatever it takes to cheer you up.”

“Even you?” He whispered.

I glanced up at him, stunned by his question but his eyes were elsewhere, only a lazy smile on his lips.

“Of course. Whenever you need me I’m here.”

“For how long?”

“Forever if you’d like.”

His chest vibrated as he let out a short laugh before pulling us apart. His blue eyes stared deeply into my violet-blues, studying me. But despite never really having friends, I took it seriously. There was a reason Mari was the only person I let in. If I cared enough to let somebody in I would do whatever I had to keep them. And I cared about Roxas, hell after tonight I cared a lot about this gang I’d stumbled into.

He held out his pinkie towards me, “forever then.”

I crossed mine with his “forever and always.”

—

I woke up with the worst stomachache, I’d definitely gone too hard on those nachos last night and was feeling the consequence of it this morning. After settling my stomach a bit I decided to give running a try to burn off this sluggish feel. So I’d tossed on my training clothes and grabbed a wireless pair of headphones Lucas had gotten me before leaving for Valorsea. “In case you get some noisy roommates,” he’d joked. I’d been lucky enough to not really need them until now to keep me going as I embarked on this journey around the entirety of campus.

I’d been out for almost an hour and was beyond ready to get back in as I was drenched in sweat. It had been about 5:15AM when I left my place and even though I doubted anyone was out right now I decided to cut through the forest.

The path through it was slim and staggered with rocks and fallen branches but nothing too horrendous. It was nice to have some time to myself and away from this hectic lifestyle I’d found myself in. It wasn’t the safest to be out here all alone, especially when the sun was only beginning to rise but I wasn’t worried. This was a military base, nobody would be dumb enough to try something here.

My phone streamed over to a new song, a bounce track that always had my head bobbing. I found myself getting lost in the sound of the heavy bass and electronic beats as my feet carried me forward.

My pace quickened the deeper I got into the track and I bit down on my lip as I hummed along, clueless to my surroundings. It was a little dangerous but I just felt so carefree. Until I felt a stiff stone knock against my ankle. I fumbled to find my balance but it was useless as I realized I was falling.

Then I stopped.

My tumble came to a halt and I glimpsed down to see one arm swinging below me. My head swivelled behind to see where the pressure on my wrist had come from. I almost fell over again at the sight.

“You!”

I tore my wrist from the black-haired boy’s hand, found my footing and backed away from him.

“Come on,” he held that cocky smile. “That’s how you greet your saviour?”

I shot him a glare but he only shoved his hands into the pockets of his torn black jeans. His golden eyes examined me but I didn’t dare look away from him. I tried to remember each detail of his face which was admittedly not that hard when he’d stolen one of my friends.

“That’s how I greet strange guys who I keep stumbling on whenever I’m alone,” I frowned. “What’s your deal anyway? Don’t tell me you live in here. Is there some kind of underground city underneath this forest?”

“Wouldn’t that be be something?” He said, a daring look in those eyes. “Quite the imagination you’ve got there little light.”

My lips pursed, we definitely weren’t on a nickname basis, he was getting way too comfortable for my liking. Just cause he’d helped me out didn’t mean I was willing to trust him.

“Wonder what else goes on in that pretty little mind of yours,” I heard his combat boots crunch against the twigs of the forest ground as he approached me. “What keeps you up… who… But something tells me I already know the answer to that.”

“Stay back,” I warned and Halcyon was in my hands, battle ready.

He stopped and stared, amused which only agitated me.

“Looks like little Hikki’s got some big girl moves.”

“I’m only gonna ask you one more time,” my palms began to sweat but I stayed firm. “Who are you? What are you doing here? And what do you want?”

“Those are a lot of questions, bulb,” I narrowed my sights on him; another stupid nickname. “I gotta know, whatcha goin’ do when I don’t answer?”

That was still undecided. I didn’t know anything about the raven-haired boy but I had the eeriest feeling he’d disarm me in moments. Still, I wouldn’t back down.

“Oh… so it’s like that? After all I’ve done for you?” He sniggered and rolled up the sleeves of his plain black hoodie. I watched him raise a hand and gesture me forward. “Alright, come on then. Show me what you got.”

As foolish as it was I flung straight for the boy but he was quick. Still, I struck away with the few hits Roxas had taught me.

“Oh, bulb’s got some moves, eh?” He sniggered darkly as he dodged each of my attacks. “Adorable.”

“Shut up!” I pushed harder, growing reckless with my blade but his stupid grin only made me angrier. I growled twisting and turning to try and land just one strike but he was far too fast.

“This is super cute and all but I think it’s time we end this.”

There was no time to react I felt his hands on my wrists once more. I kicked away at him but it was no good. He swung my arms over my head, forcing me keyblade to disappear from my hands and threw me into the bark of a nearby tree. My shoulders strained as he tightened his grip and leaned his body into mine.

“No hard feelings, yeah?” His voice brushed by my ear. “Just couldn’t stand to watch you struggle any longer. It was getting embarrassing.”

My brows furrowed but I straightened my posture. He still leaned in heavily on me; good.

Before he could get the chance to utter one more snarky remark I dug into him further, slammed the bottoms of my feet into the decaying tree before me and sprang over him.

Genuine shock struck his face but it wasn’t over yet. On the come down my legs wrapped around his torso and with his hands still weakly holding my wrists, I tightened my arms over his throat.

He fell back immediately and despite hitting the ground hard, I refused to let go. Clawing at me, we tumbled in the dirty but I was just out of his grasp.

“Hi…kari…” he choked. “Let… go!”

“No!” I could feel myself slipping but there was no way I was letting him walk out of here.

“Have it… Your way!”

He found his way to his knees, grabbed my forearms and heaved me over his body. I could my feel my weight through the air, almost lifeless until I hit the ground with a heavy thud. I cringed at the pain and opened my eyes to the sight of him hovering over him. He used his legs to pry mine wide apart while holding my hands above my head. The devilish grin was back. Our hearts were pounding, chests rising and falling as we stared back at one another.

“Since when do you play rough?”

“I’ll scream,” I threatened.

“Go ahead, no one will hear you.”

He was right, it was far too early. I had no choice, I had to give in.

“What do you want?”

“Oh, is my little light ready to listen now?”

“I’m not yours!” My voice was firm despite the higher pitch.

“I’d say otherwise,” his golden were closer now. He was too close. “I mean, I saved your ass again, if you’re not mine you at least owe me a debt.”

“I don’t even know who you are!” I spat.

“Don’t you though, Hikari?” His lips were only inches away from my own. “The way you’re looking at me… Feels like you’ve seen me before.”

I refused to get into it. There was no way I’d rat about my life or friends to this psycho.

“What are you doing here?”

“Came to see you of course,”he answered so plainly as if we hadn’t just been fighting. “Wanted to see how you’d gotten on with that keyblade of yours. Looks like you’ve been making some big moves… Wonder who taught you that?”

“Why do you care?”

“Cause I thought only I got to be your private tutor,” his lips pouted but those eyes were still merciless. “You’re making me real jealous little light. Is somebody else _teaching_ you?”

The way he said it made my blush, I wouldn’t respond and only turned away.

“Well, well, well, looks like my pupil’s been playing the field. You really know how to break a guy’s heart, bulb.”

He jumped to his feet and I flung myself onto mine. I wrapped my arms around myself, shaking from being so close to him.

“Does he know?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “About us.”

“N-no.”

“So it is a he,” a brow rose on his face. “You’re killing me here light. Well who knows?”

I swallowed back my nerves, “nobody.”

His cheshire grin widened. “My, oh my… You have been faithful. I’m impressed, makes me think you might just be beginning to like me.”

“No!” My hands clenched into fists. “I just… I can handle you by myself.”

That brow twitched and in the blink of an eye he had me pinned against another tree. Our bodies were so close, are chests just barely touching and our breaths mixing in the morning air.

“Handle me then.”

The heat on my body was probably at it’s worst as those golden eyes studied my violet-blues. I was frozen in time, staring back with shaky hands and a probable death wish.

“You’re not really good at this are you… I thought you wanted to fight, be strong.”

“I do.”

He confused me then, he laughed. It was a curt, dark laugh but surprising nonetheless. Slowly, he pushed himself from the bark and summoned another of his creepy portals.

“Then stick with me bulb,” his voiced carried me forward just as he entered the smog. The smoke began to surround him but he didn’t turn back to me.

“And I’ll have you burning bright.”

—

“I hate history,” Roxas groaned as we made our way out of class.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. I always caught myself watching him in class as he tried his hardest not to doze off. Personally, I’d enjoyed world’s history but I could see where he was coming from. The last thing anyone wanted to do at the end of the day was listen to a lecture.

“It’s really not that bad,” I responded. “Honestly, it’s pretty interesting.”

I saw his glare but shrugged, “you only hate it because you’re lazy.”

“Lazy?” he scorned. “It’s not my fault the class is boring.”

“Lazy,” I mused.

“If you weren’t there I’d probably pass out to be honest.”

I faced him but his eyes were to the ground. I took a step closer to get his attention. When he finally looked down at me, it was clear he’d been blushing.

“So what you’re saying is I’m what keeps you up at night?”

“What?” He screeched.

“Wow Roxas,” I walked ahead of him confidently. “I never knew you felt that way about me.”

“I never said that!”

“You’re just not my type,” I teased.

“Oh really?” He jogged to my side. “Then what is your type?”

I batted my lashes, “well, it’s a secret.”

He ran before me, stopping me in the hallway.

“Tell me.”

I pouted as my cheeks burned, “well why do you care?”

“I don’t,” he took a step forward but I only took another back. “Tell me anyway.”

“Tell me yours,” he hovered over me but I continued backing away.

“Why do _you_ care?”

“I don’t,” my foot bumped something behind me when I felt the wood at the base of the wall. He’s cornered me, hands placed firmly by my face and a smirk on his lips.

“Tell me, weirdgirl.”

“Fine,” I huffed. “I’ll say one thing I like and you say one thing you like. Deal?”

His blue eyes followed mine as they tried to avoid his vision. I glanced behind him, seeing students pass and peer towards us.

“Fine,” he lowered an arm. “Start.”

“Well,” I chewed on my lip realizing I’d never really thought much about what I did and didn’t like about guys. What was my type? I hadn’t had much experience to build a profile exactly. “I like tall guys.”

“Everyone’s taller than you,” he rolled his eyes causing me to frown.

“Just respond.”

His eyes looked upwards, searching his mind for an answer. “I like short girls.”

My face flushed, “I like smart guys.”

“I like funny girls,” he came in closer, as if to challenge me.

“I like funny guys,” I pushed back.

“I like smart girls.”

“I like guys who value my independence.”

“And I like girls who are independent,” with each declaration he moved in closer. I clenched my fists, unsure of what to say next when a brilliant idea came to mind.

“Roxas…” my eyes lit up with innocence. His jaw set, clearly bewildered. I stepped on the tip of my toes.

“I like you…”

His jaw dropped and I slipped out from under him. The shock set in before realization when I winked and stuck out my tongue.

“Especially when you’re distracted, sadboy!” Like that I took off.

His mouth twitched as he ran to catch up with me and threw an arm over my shoulders.

My face went pink but he was oblivious to it.

“Clever girl.”

There was a sudden chime and I watched the blond reach for his phone in his pocket.

“Shit,” he scrolled through the device. “I totally forgot I’ve gotta get suited for my battle gear.”

“Oh, well we can train tomorrow—“

“Wanna come?” He grinned. “I haven’t even figured out what I want it to look like so I could use another person’s input.”

I couldn’t stop myself, “sure. Lead the way.”

Lucky for us the walk to the designated design room wasn’t too far off, even better we were the only two there when Roxas signed in.

The room had been pretty small and one person was permitted inside for fittings, of course. From what I knew there were three other rooms just as tiny as what I’d been told to head to when it was my turn. There was a single door that let you in and would lead you straight to the seamstress and one of her assistants, a friendly old woman who had explained to me she was only there for fittings and measurements when I’d said this must have been a lot of work for her.

The front desk was pretty interesting though, a window on the wall, like the food trucks back home. The woman there hadn’t been so friendly. The brunette woman leaned from the front desk of her office spying me. She recognized me as I’d come for my own fitting only a few days earlier but she seemingly shrugged it off, roughly handed Roxas the book of styles and gestured for us to have a seat in the hall.

Roxas was taken aback by her rudeness but I shrugged and gestured to the bench across from the office.

“Damn, you’d think we were bothering her or something.”

“Don’t you just hate it when those pesky kids ask you to do your job? The worst.”

She caught us snickering and shot a dirty glare. Hastily, we dropped our eyes into the catalog. Roxas flipped through the dozens of styles within the hefty book, not impressed with even one.

“I just want something comfy,” he sunk in his seat. “That doesn’t look stupid.”

“Well now you’re asking for the impossible.”

He elbowed me and I sniggered in response, “come on, there’s gotta be one you like.”

He shook his head, “what’d you go with?”

“Mari’s super into clothes so she designed mine,” I pulled my phone out from my pocket and clicked to get to the sketch she’d sent over. “What do you think?”

I handed him my device and he studied the drawing. I noticed a tint of pink across his cheeks as his eyes followed the screen.

“It’s a dress.”

“Yeah but there’s shorts under so—“

“You’re gonna go into battle in a skirt?”

“Uh, it’s a battle skirt,” I corrected him but he only chuckled in response. “Shut up, at this rate you’re going to battle in a pair of sweats.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled myself in closer to him. I was determined now to get him something that would not only be practical but also fit his aesthetic.

Steadily, he held the book on his lap and I was practically drapped over him skimming through the pages. Near the end I finally stumbled upon a few sets I thought would work.

“Here,” I pointed to a pair of dark pants, slim but cinched at the ankles. “Take these pants, that coat… and this shirt, it’s sleeveless like the hoodie you train in. Yeah, mix these guys up with these boots in what colours you’re feeling and you’ve got yourself some gear.”

I nibbled on my lap watching him review my options but grinned once his lips twisted into a half smile.

“That should work.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, I think this could wo—“

“Roxas!”

The secretary glared at us as she rose bony finger and gestured for him to step forward.

“Good thing too,” he rose from his seat. “Looks like I’ve been summoned. See you in a bit.”

He walked off into the office and I settled back in my seat. He’d ought to trust me more, I thought I’d beyond proved my prowess when it came to figuring him out. He wouldn’t be a mystery for much longer if we kept hanging out like this.

Unlike another boy who seemed to know just where to find me whenever he felt like it.

The spiky, black haired Sora duplicate had been on my mind since the first time I’d seen him and the visit on my morning run only further fuelled my curiosities.

—

“Well I’d say you’re ready for a fight.”

I gawked at the blond. He had to be kidding. Sure, through his training I was definitely improving but I was nowhere near where I had to be. Especially after being so easily disarmed by not-Sora McJerkface. Not my best but I was still so frustrated over the complete stranger.

My keyblade dissipated, “you’re crazy if you think I can take you in a fight.”

“Why not?” He shrugged so nonchalantly I thought he was joking. “I mean you won’t win but—“

“I’ll make great target practice?” My arms crossed over my chest. “Thanks but no thanks.”

“Fine, how ‘bout this? No keyblades, no magic, just some good ol’ hand-to-hand combat?”

Roxas really wanted to test me as if we were in class. The idea was foolish but we’d done so much training I may not have been able to beat him but I could probably stand my own against him.

“Okay but on my ma—“

“Go!”

The blond slammed me down into the dirt. He was heavy over my body, gripping my wrists to my side while I stared up in shock. My heart began to race and sweat beaded from my forehead when he whispered.

“No enemy will ever give you a warning.”

So that’s how he wanted to play it. Instantly, I relaxed my face and pulled my knees up to my chest. My feet plunged into his stomach when I kicked him off. He fell to the ground and I found my footing. Up on his feet as well he charged at me once more. He had to be holding back because I managed to dodge each punch he threw, still with plenty of difficulty.

Roxas was fast but I’d become pretty agile and with his next punch I flung my foot to his throat. He slipped from my mark and lifted me once more. I wouldn’t give up however and pulled at the back of his head, blurring his vision. He kept a tight grip of me but with some maneuvering I managed to get a leg free and hooked it over his neck.

The embarrassment of my ass being so close to his face made him stumble back giving me just the right amount time to escape his grasp.

Before he could stabilize himself I sprung at him, fists diving in first but he blocked me with his forearm.

“That all you got?” He chortled. “I expected better from you!”

I could feel a competitive spirit within me as I responded “don’t get cocky!”

I flipped back, stumbling onto my feet but still pretty proud of myself. Kneeling to the ground, my eyes flickered to him. He knelt as well, preparing for my next move. I decided to take him on straight ahead and charged at the blond. My steps were light and when I was close enough I leapt over him. My body came down hard over his and we were collapsed on the ground once again. For each punch he plunged towards me, my legs kicked at him in response. We were tussling aggressively on the ground and even though I was sure he could probably easily end this, I wouldn’t stop.

One moment I was over him the next he on me as we rolled in the dirt but I was frantic, he couldn’t stop me from moving.

He finally managed to get a hold of my wrists once again but before he could hold my legs down with his knees my thighs crossed over his neck.

Immediately Roxas reddened but I only sneered and twisted him down to the ground. It took all I had and the surprise of the move is probably the only reason why I’d gotten away with it. The moment I was on top I gripped his throat with one hand and pulled back my other arm for a preemptive strike in case he tried it again.

He squirmed beneath me but my knees dug into his shoulders and my calves locked his arms to the ground.

“Okay, okay…!” He rasped. “It’s over.”

I released his throat but wouldn’t move my legs, “admit that I won.”

His eyes rolled so I pressed more weight not his shoulders.

“Okay,” he grunted. “You won, only because I went easy on you.”

I skidded down further onto his body, resting on his pelvis as I dragged him forward to sit up. He rubbed at his neck and cheerfully I clasped my hands to my chest.

“Easy or not, I still won something.”

“Told you I was a good teacher.”

“Well, if it had— Oh, Roxas!”

My eyes spotted the bruised purple skin where my knees had been. I leant into him and examined the tender flesh closely. My hands rubbed against the marks and instant guilt washed upon me.

“Sorry, I didn’t know I was pressing that hard.”

“I-it’s okay,” he muttered. “I’m fine.”

“No,” I gazed up at him to see his reddened face. “Let me cure it.”

Before he could protest I placed my palms against him and mumbled the only spell I’d manage to pick up on quickly. His shoulders shimmered in a bright green light and in a moment or so his skin was flawless once again.

I settled back, clutching to my chest. “How’s that? You okay?”

“Yeah,” Roxas scratched at the back of his head. “Thanks.”

“Anytime!” I said cheerfully. “Curing is like the only thing I can do.”

“I don’t know… You did beat me in that fight.”

Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling as confident as I had been, “only cause you let me.”

“Hey…”

The smell of rosewood brushed my nostrils and I realized he’d pulled us closer together. Roxas’ lithe body was wrapping around mine, hands on my lower back. I could feel my heartbeat raise, no longer from all the physical activity. My hands moved on their own and landed on his chest, keeping what little distance I could between us. He shifted beneath my thighs and I was reminded of the sensual position we’d found ourselves in.

“You killed it,” he drew my focus back to him. “It was your first fight and you held your own. Be proud at that.”

Roxas was right, I couldn’t get upset about my failures. I’d succeeded, it was a small success but still a success and it was all thanks to him. Even though it hadn’t really been my first tussle I’d still managed to hold my own and there was a victory in that.

I threw my arms around his neck, startling him. Slowly he held me tighter as I whispered into his ear.

“Thanks for helping me. The others told me how this isn’t something you’d do…”

“Did they?”

“Yeah, but I really appreciate you helping me,” I lugged back to look at him. His hands loosened from my waist but rested lazily on my thighs. “To be honest, I’m not sure why you’d offer to help me. I mean I know we’re friends but I’m sure you’d much rather be doing anything else.”

“Nah,” Roxas shrugged. “You needed the help and I like hanging out with you.”

“You do?”

“Of course,” he laughed. “You really think I’d do this for someone I didn’t like?”

I laughed along with him. He’d made a pretty good point. I was getting psyched out by the others always teasing us about spending too much time together. I didn’t know about him but I couldn’t help it, he’d become my first friend there and easily the person I shared the most in common with.

“What’re you thinking about?”

I shook my head, “nothing really. Just the others and their jokes about us.”

Roxas’ mouth twisted into a half smile, “don’t mind them. Hey, I wanted to thank you again for my birthday dinner.”

“Any time,” a grin spread across my lips. “I know what it’s like when people think they know what’s best for you. Mari was always trying to drag me out of the house when I wanted to keep it low-key.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Definitely, you think Axel’s overbearing? Be happy you haven’t met my sister.”

We caught ourselves in another giggling fit. When Roxas suggested we head back inside. Both of our face reddened when we realized the position we’d been seated in and I quickly helped him up to his feet once I got off him.

“Shit,” he groaned and rolled his ankle. “I think my foot’s asleep.”

“You should have told me, I would have got off you sooner.”

“Nah, I didn’t mind.”

“Yeah but I’m heavy.”

Roxas cocked a brow, confusion all over his face, “no you’re not.”

My lips pursed, “yes I am. Have you seen me?”

“Have _you_ seen you?” I watched him stretch his leg back, scowling towards me. “Better yet, have you seen how other people see you?”

“What do you mean?”

Roxas sneered and marched ahead, “figure it out.”

I groaned, chasing behind him, “Roxas!”


	10. Nightingale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang get ready for a night out and Hikari finds herself feeling and looking good at the encouragement of her roommates. Still, she worries about her first night out, especially without Mari and finally meeting Namine but decides to dive in completely and rid herself of all her worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAAAAAIIIITTTT! READ ME:
> 
> Hello reader(s)!
> 
> Just wanted to pop in and let you know this story has gone through some changes. That being said there's a bunch of new chapters so if you were caught up from I'd suggest re-reading from "BATTLE STANCE" (chapter 7) and onwards as there lots of new content!
> 
> Sorry about that, I just wasn't feeling how long the chapters were and felt some development was missing but we are back on track!
> 
> Thank you so much for your support and please read and review!

“So what am I even supposed to wear to this thing?”

Another tiring week had passed filled with so much homework and training. With Roxas’ help I was getting better with my keyblde but it didn’t matter much as once I showed Aqua and Terra the passage on Halcyon Yen Sid had found they still seemed lost but tried to play it off. I tried not to worry but constantly caught myself spacing out in classes trying to think about how exactly I would tame this beast. After returning the old master’s book he’d asked me if I’d tried any of the spells but I informed him I hadn’t. He shared some wise words of wisdom with me: stop treating Halcyon as an opposing force and start treating it like it was apart of me. I wondered if Terra or Aqua had told him just how uncomfortable I was with my keyblade and that’s how he knew I was struggling. That, or maybe it was just all over my face.

As the week went on I grew more uneasy with the idea of going to a bar. Despite all of our phone calls, Mari still hadn’t managed to convince me going out was a good idea. “You’ve been working your ass off for like a month straight now,” she’d said. “You deserve to have some fun.” She was right about that, I had been working really hard, staying up late just trying to keep up with each lesson I’d learned that day. I’d been a pretty good student back home but only because there I didn’t really have any social obligations. Here, I felt like I was always getting wrapped up in late night talks with my friends or cracking jokes in the group chat plus keeping up with my family back home. I was being pulled apart from all directions and really struggling to keep it together. I didn’t know how Mari seemingly did it all because I found the entire thing tiresome.

I was drying off in a black fluffy robe, towel spun over my head and munching on cereal in my room with Kairi as she searched through my closet.

“Something cute,” Kairi muttered as she dug deeper into my closet. “If I can find something cute.”

“Hey,” I pouted.

I heard her chuckle when my phone wrung, picking it up I knew exactly who it was and why they were calling.

Mari grinned, “show me the goods!”

“Hey Mari,” Kairi pulled herself from my closet to come and say hello. “I wish I had something to show you but a treasure trove this closet is not.”

Mari had demanded to speak to Kairi and Xion one night during one of our calls and reluctantly I’d handed them the phone. They got on well but Kairi and Mari really hit it off, even exchanging phone numbers and texting occasionally. At first I felt a twinge of jealousy, they had far more in common than Mari and I did until I realized just how ridiculous that type of thinking was.

“We’ll find something,” Mari cheered. “Hikari, hand me over to Kairi.”

I did as I was told and lay back on my bed, finishing my sugary snack. I could hear the two complain about colour selection but I was more interested in other things; mainly, Namine. This would be the first time I would see her or interact with her in any kind of way seeing as she _still_ hadn’t said a damn word in the group chat beside agree to come to this thing. Hell, even that message had been a simple “I’ll be there”. Roxas was the one that got dumped and even he had managed to send a couple funny pictures. Not only that but whenever she called Kairi or Xion they always took the calls in their room. Even if I just popped into the kitchen for a drink they would immediately ask Namine to wait, give me a stiff smile and practically run to their rooms. Well not today, I was determined to get on her good side, make her see I was nothing but an ordinary, plain girl that she had nothing to worry about.

“This’ll work,” Kairi got my attention. She was holding up a mini blood red dress with a heart-shaped neckline and thin straps.

“Absolutely not,” I crossed my arms. I remember Mari shoving in my suitcase some clothes she’d bought me, demanding that I make some good use of them. As soon as I’d emptied my bags and saw the little pile of clothes that were definitely not good intentioned, they’d end up in the back corner of my closet with my suitcase.

“It’s cute though!” Mari griped. “And I even had to fight a girl to get it.”

Kairi cackled, “what?”

“Long story Kai,” the brunette explained. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

“It’s perfect Hikari,” Kairi was definitely not helping the situation. “Come on, it’s just one night. Why not do something a little crazy?”

“More like slutty,” I muttered.

“Why not both?” Mari chimed.

I took the dress with a roll of my eyes. It was so tight, I knew every inch of me would be exposed. What if something like the last time happened? Not that my skinny jeans and baggy sweater made a difference. Thinking about it, nothing I did or wore would have made a difference. My clothes had never been the problem, hell, I had never been the problem. Besides, I could protect myself now. I was strong.

“Fuck it.”

“For real?” Kairi beamed.

“No jokes?” I heard Mari chime.

“Yeah,” I whipped off the towel on my head. “Let’s do it.”

—

Just as I expected the dress was tight but with a little bit of manoeuvring my body weight around and the expectation to wake up with the sorest back tomorrow, I’d manage to fill it out nicely. Very nicely in fact, I couldn’t help but notice my hourglass figure in my mirror. For once being on the thicker side worked to my benefit, even with the slit on the side revealing even more thigh. Dare I say it, I felt sexy; a word I never thought I’d ever hear be used with me, especially not _by_ me.

I took one last look to make sure everything was in place. I’d tied my hair in a half up, half down style, much to Mari’s request after Kairi had curled the ends and slipped on my black see-through trench coat. I knelt down to buckle the pair of single strap black shoes my redheaded roommate had lent me and was just thankful for the blocky heel on them.

I was turning back and forth in the mirror, posing from the front and back, taking pictures at this transformation my friends had managed to pull off when Kairi called out for me.

“Hikki, you ready?”

“Coming!” I grabbed my wallet, locked my door, and walked as quickly as I could in these heels down the hall.

“I love it!” Kairi cheered when I entered the living room.

“I love yours,” I replied. “You two look great.”

They really did. Xion had kept it far more casual in tight black jeans, a simple pair of black loafers with gold trimming, lace white bodysuit and a sleek black blazer. Kairi on the other hand was in an amaranth, floral print matching set. It was beautiful, a cinched pair of thigh-high shorts and a cropped top with a tie in front and long, poofy sleeves. She held a white clutch with glimmering gems that matched her white heels and I was thoroughly impressed. They were so beautiful on a regular bases but in these clothes they just seemed so glamorous. I found myself a little embarrassed to know that I’d be seen with them and only hoped I could curate a facade of confidence.

“Thanks,” Xion reached into her pocket and pulled out a white card. “And this is for you.”

I looked at the inscribed letters of the identity card and gasped when I saw the age.

“21? I don’t even look 17!”

“Tonight you do,” Kairi giggled. “With makeup and an outfit like that you could be 28 for all a bouncer knows.”

“How did you guys even get this?” I thought back to when Xion had snapped a quick photo of me during one of our study sessions and when I asked her about it she’d said it was for the ID I’d need. I hadn’t thought she was serious.

“I have my ways,” she sneered. “It’s really good though, huh?”

I had to agree, it looked like a regular, old ID.

“Let’s get a quick picture,” Kairi pulled us in. “I promised Mari I’d send her one.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, she had demanded we keep her posted through out the night. We smiled for the photo before a knock came to our door.

“It’s probably the guys,” Kairi said adjusting the bun in her hair. “How do I look?”

“I told you already,” I laughed, it wasn’t often I had to pump her up. “You look fantastic.”

“You think Sora’ll like it?”

“He’ll love it,” I grinned and nudged her. “You like him, don’t you?”

She blushed but nodded, “I want to make us official tonight, you know?”

My brows furrowed, “official how?”

“Not like that,” she lightly punched my arm. “You know, become a couple. We’ve been through so much together and I just want to make sure we stay together.”

Xion opened our door as I whispered to my fellow redhead.

“You will, I know you will.”

“You guys ready?”

Ven was the first to stroll in wearing white jeans, brown boots, and a short sleeve shirt splattered in deep sea blues and whites. Riku was close behind him in torn navy blue jeans, a cerulean blue and gold long-sleeved, collared top, and a pair of black boots. Finally Sora appeared behind them in dark sneakers, cropped black jeans, a black polo covered in red roses, and dark red bomber jacket. They all looked good, but when did they not?

“Definitely ready,” Kairi walked towards Sora who was already turning red at the sight of her. “You look good, Sora.”

“You look amazing,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. They chuckled together and I couldn’t help but watch with a gleaming smile.

They were so sweet and I always caught myself grinning from ear-to-ear seeing Kairi and Sora or Xion and Riku together. Even though neither of them were in official relationships I admired it and sometimes found myself wondering what it would be like having a boy look at you and treat in a way so different from anybody else, like you were the only thing that ever mattered. A shiver ran up my spine at the thought. No matter how romantic it was I knew it was something I’d never be able to handle. I was still trying to balance military training and friendships.

“Where are the others?” Xion asked Riku as he slid by her side leaving Ventus and I to awkwardly watch the two couples, blushing.

“Right here!”

Axel marched through the door, hair tied back dressed in all black from his boots to his button-up shirt. In his hand was a brown paper bag and on his face a smile that meant trouble. Roxas appeared from behind him and I lost the ability to speak. He leaned against the doorframe in a pair of black jeans ripped at the knees with white sneakers. On his torso was a loosely checkered black and white gradient top with only so many buttons done. His chest was partially exposed, his sternum in full view and I had to force myself to look elsewhere at his collarbone where a simple silver chain with a small X symbol lay. He scanned the room before his eyes fell on me and despite the redness of his face, I couldn’t help but feel entrapped by his blue eyes.

He pulled up his black leather jacket from the crook of his arms and approached me. Even though we had many conversations in class, at lunch, and even spent hours sending each other stupid memes through direct messages, anytime he was near me I thought I would loose my balance and completely come undone.

“Hikari…” he whispered, standing before me.

“Roxas,” I lowered my eyes to the ground. Even though my coat was hanging by my arms and it was arguably cold in our dorm, my whole body was hot.

“You look…” he couldn’t seem to find the word and just stared at me. Was this a good thing, a bad thing? Should I have changed? I watched him slowly lift his hand and draw it to the side of my face, pushing the stray hairs away but knocking my gold hoop earrings and brushing my cheek at the same time. He went to retreat his hand but in a flash I gripped onto his palm and wrist by my face.

His skin was so soft and he smelt so good, just like rosewood again. His eyes were wide but as were mine as I looked right back at him, heat in my hand. I didn’t want him to go, not just yet, I wanted his hands on me. Deep in my mind I knew it was wrong to think but standing there, touching him, I’d become a radical. Something had come over me, emboldened me to feel strong enough to touch him. He just looked so good and for once I felt so good.

“Hey brats!”

We released one another and turned to our friends who all stood in our kitchen hovering over a large clear bottle Axel held with small glasses dispersed amongst them.

“Get over here so we can start this party right.”

In an instant we approached the table, unable to meet each other in the eye. I was still feeling heated, nerves pumping right back into me watching Axel fill my glass. He gave some speech about making tonight a good one but I couldn’t focus on that with Roxas standing so near to me. Once the drinks were poured I clinked my glass along with everyone else and in my panic state took my shot. The liquor was bitter, burning down my throat but that didn’t stop me from taking two more as Kairi called for our taxis.

—

I smooshed into the middle seat of our car with Sora and Roxas as Kairi took the front to give our driver directions. I was already feeling buzzed and being so close to two good looking guys, in particularly one I was especially attracted to was not helping in the slightest. I tried to follow along with Sora and Kairi’s conversation about school but I could only focus on Roxas’ leg touching mine. I wondered if he could feel the heat radiating off my body all thanks to him. I had to calm down, the night hadn’t even started and I already felt like I was acting crazy. I leaned back in my seat placing my hand to my side and staring out the front window.

The streets were full tonight of traffic and people scrounging to get to whatever party could to start their weekend off right. They were all blurry faces from here as the car moved forward. Even though I was a little dazed it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I’d made sure to follow Mari’s rules to a strict T and ate before we went out as well as drunk plenty of water. She had advised to only have one pre-drink but I was sure I would be fine. I looked good, I smelt good, holy hell, I was feeling good.

I felt Roxas nudge against my hand and glanced down at our palms right beside one another. I was going to move mine when I felt his pinkie curl against my own. I turned to him but he stared firmly out the window, chin in his hand, not acknowledging a thing. I smiled, small, hoping not to attract any attention from the others and scrolled through my phone, wrapping my pinkie around his.

—-

The line for the bar hadn’t been too long but I was shaking in my heels when we reached the bouncer. He was buff and bald with pale skin and dripping in tattoos. My friends handed him their cards with ease and I prayed he couldn’t tell mine was a fake. He gave me an up and down look several times, stopping at my breasts more times than I could count before finally handing me my card and letting me inside.

The group had all had a laugh at my nerves at the coat check but soon enough we were in. The bar wasn’t too full and wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. It looked like the typical pub, with stools and seating, all in dark woods.

“The club’s downstairs,” Kairi grinned. “The drinks are better too.”

“Much better.”

I turned to see the elusive Namine, just as pretty in all her pictures. Her hair was strewn against her shoulder and she was in a flowy, short white dress with long off the shoulder sleeves and strappy healed sandals. Just like in her photos, she was a vision. Instantly, in my short red dress, I felt insecure. What was I thinking wearing these clothes, coming here? I wasn’t trying to compete with her and she had still won.

I watched my roommates run to hug her and tried not to let these feelings of isolation get to me.

“Nami,” Kairi dragged me forward to the blond. Her features were similar to the red head but colder somehow. “This is Hikari and Hikki, this is Namine.”

Her head didn’t move at all as she studied me, probably trying to decipher all my secrets. I tried to look as intimidating as she did, only using my eyes to scan over her gorgeous frame.

“Nice to meet you,” she finally said with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes.

“Likewise,” I forced a grin on my lips.

Ven came by Namine’s side and instantly, her face lightened up. I watched him whisper something in her ear and slowly her eyes returned to me. I had no idea what he’d said but Namine softened her approach with a genuine smile.

“Let’s get inside, shall we?”

The others walked ahead of me towards the booming music and flashing light downstairs but I was yanked back and into the arms of Roxas. We were face to face again but I could feel his hands loosely on my waist and mine curled against his shoulders.

“Listen,” he spoke sternly. “Don’t worry about Namine. She takes some getting used to but she’s not a bad person. She’s probably just a little tense cause I’m here.”

“Why?” I already knew the answer but I wanted to hear him say it. “What happened?”

He sneered, looking to the ground before back into my eyes, “we used to have a thing,” he finally answered. “Then she dumped me… For Ventus.”

I couldn’t hide the surprise on my face. I hadn’t known all that. No wonder he could be so cold to the boy people often mistook for his twin. I had nothing to do with it but I felt terrible for it. The courage of the vodka in me must have spiked up again because my arms wrapped around his neck when I pulled him into a hug.

“I’m so sorry.”

He hesitated but soon his arms were around my waist, tight. He was so warm, so calming, I didn’t want to let go when he spoke in my ear.

“You look incredible tonight,” his voice was a whisper and I was tingling instantaneously. I could feel the warmth of his chest, his partially bare skin against mine.

“So do you,” I whispered back. “You look amazing.”

“You smell even better,” he nuzzled against my neck. I could feel his lips brush my ear and I could have sworn my whole body was on fire. The alcohol in me had to have caused this because I thought I was liquifying in his arms, just a puddle of mushy feelings and desire.

“You always smell good,” I felt him rub my back slowly, pushing me further into these alluring feelings.

“You like it?” His voice was deep, tempting me almost. It was so hot, my clothes felt like there were imprisoning me. I wanted out of them and into him.

I nodded gently against him, “I like y—“

“Are you guys coming or not?”

We separated at Axel’s call and saw the redhead with a naughty smile.

“Was I interrupting something?”

Roxas stuck his middle finger at him before looking back at me with the most gracious smile.

He took my hand and led me down the stairs and into the venue, “come on.”

The moment we got in my ears were overcome with the sound of dance music blasting through the stereo and bodies up against one another dancing provocatively. I spotted the bar at one end of the room, fully stocked and surrounded by young people. A DJ spun his records at a stage towards the front, tipsy girls clamouring to get to near him. Roxas led me to the other end of the room and finally we reached our group huddled in a dark corner and seated in a navy blue booth.

“Found these two sharing secrets outside,” Axel smirked and hopped onto the couch.

“As if,” Roxas rolled his eyes but I still felt his hand interlaced with mine. I hadn’t said a word about it and he hadn’t let go so why should I?

“We’re back.”

Namine and Ven returned with Namine holding a bottle of what I assumed was more vodka and Ven holding several shot glass.

“Yes,” Axel grinned and took the bottle as Riku setup the cups. “This is the good stuff. A couple shots of these you’ll be knocked out for the rest of the year.”

“Let’s not do that,” Sora laughed. I noticed his hand in Kairi’s and looked at her with an approving smile but I found all the girls staring back at me with looks of confusion and from Namine what felt like resentment.

Xion eyes forced me to confront mine and Roxas’ hands and I knew to let go immediately but he stopped me by gripping me tighter and handing me a shot glass. They all had glasses in their hand except Axel who held onto the neck of the bottle.

“Let’s fuck it up,” he cheered, that wild look in his green eyes. “Salut!”

We shot down our drinks, Axel taking a swig of the bottle, and I stared back at my empty cup. This drink had burned a lot less than the previous one and had even tasted good. Not too sweet and bubbly, a lot like soda actually.

“He’s going to blackout again,” Roxas smirked. “I’m calling it now.”

“I have faith in him,” I replied, leaning into his ear. One night while talking, Roxas had mentioned how crazy Axel could get at parties and guaranteed it would happen again. “I’m thinking he’ll make it the whole night.”

“Oh yeah?” He released my hand but pulled me in close by my waist with his lips by my ear again. I didn’t dare move. Even though our friends were talking amongst themselves, I could feel their eyes flicker back to us occasionally.

“Let’s make a bet.”

“A bet?”

“Yeah, if he blacks out, I win and if he stays up, you win.”

I nipped at my lower lip, “what’s the prize when I win?”

“You’re confident,” he chuckled darkly in my ear and my stomach began to flutter.

“I’m smart,” I challenged. Bravery flashed on my face and I lazily placed an arm around him tugging him in closer. “It’s one of my better qualities.”

“What are the others?” His hand slid down to my lower back and I was tickled by the sensation. It hovered there, as if tempting me to let him grab my ass but whatever this was, I wanted to win it.

With my lips close to his ear and brain a bunch of bubbles I whispered so clearly but only for him to hear, “you’ll have to win to find out.”

I couldn’t hold back and leaned forward onto my toes, his fingers slid just onto the edge of my behind and I wrapped both arms around him but forced him to face me as I nibbled on my lip. He was pink in the face, as was I but the liquor made me confident.

“And I promise you,” I licked my upper lip with the tip of my tongue, eyes looking down at our chests, his following to my cleavage. “You’re really gonna wanna find out.”

He was starstruck as I pulled away slowly, hands being the last thing to separate. He seemingly came to his senses, as a mischievous smile fell on his lips.

Kairi rose quickly, grabbing Namine and Xion demanding we dance right away. Xion dragged me right along but I kept my eyes on Roxas. He sat next to Axel, grabbing the bottle and rounding the glasses.

“Let’s have another shot, guys,” He kept his eyes on me which made me feel much more sensitive in this state. “I want to push the limits.”

I whisked around to the girls, in complete bliss surrounded by the bodies of other people moving and grinding together. The room was so dark but the flashing lights illuminated around us as I felt my body sway to the music.

“Are you okay?” Kairi asked me, finding her rhythm in the crowd. “You’re acting kind of… different.”

“I feel incredible,” I raised my arms above me and rolled my head back. I ran my freshly painted pink nails through my hair, oblivious to anyone else. “I’ve never felt so good.”

“You and Roxas,” Namine spoke and I fell so fast from my high I thought I’d never get it back. My roommates and I tensed as she danced closer to me. “You’re close?”

I stiffened as she found her way against my back, pressing herself against me with her own back.

“No,” I answered, probably too quickly. “We just talk.”

“Talk…” Namine’s voice was aloof but still rigid. “I’m glad he’s found someone to talk with.”

She circled back to face me, too calm for my liking and came by my ear.

“But be careful Hikari,” she warned. “Things could get dangerous.”

She twirled off, grinning to Kairi as she made her way to her. I was paralyzed and Xion saw that when she said she needed another drink and dragged me away to the bar.

“You good?” She shook me but I couldn’t say a word. “Hikari? What did she say?”

“She…” I cocked a brow in confusion. “She warned me.”

“What?” Xion frowned. “Warned you about what?”

“Roxas,” my brows furrowed. I turned to the bar and waved to one of the bartenders. They arrived and Xion watched me with confusion.

“Give me the strongest thing you got,” I slid a twenty dollar bill towards him from the the coin purse I’d stuffed in the side of my bra. “As big as you got. I wanna forget who I am tonight.”

They both eyed me, the rough looking bartender and Xion, but he smirked and dove to his hundreds of bottles to mix up whatever concoction could give me a brand new personality.

“You shouldn’t drink too much Hikki,” she advised. “It’s your first time, you’ll get sick.”

I clenched my fists, “who cares, Xion? Tonight, I just wanna live. For once I don’t want to care about anything and just do everything. I’m sick of being in control!”

Xion sighed as the bartender returned with a odd blue substance in a tall glass.

“Enjoy,” he grinned.

“Wait,” she pulled out money from her wallet and slid it to the man, “gin and tonic please.”

“Yes!” I hugged her quickly, brimming with excitement. “We’re supposed to be fucking it up, right?”

She nodded as the bartender slid her her own glass.

“Let’s fuck it up,” she laughed meekly and we clinked our cups together.

The cool raspberry flavour hit my tastebuds first as I sipped on the metal straw. It was refreshing and didn’t taste anything like alcohol.

“Good, right?” The bartender called. “It’s called blue poison.”

“Blue poison, huh?” I lifted the cup, examining the glittering crystals of ice in the electric blue drink. “Another one, please.”

He chuckled, “pace yourself, girlie. You might not feel anything now but when it hits, it _hits_.”

I leaned into the bartender from over the bar, sipping away freely.

“If I wanted advice I wouldn’t have come to a club.”

He forehead creased but he smiled hellishly, “alright, alright. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Hikari—“

I held a finger to Xion lips as I downed the last of my drink, “fuck. It. Up.”

I heard her groaned once more as another blue poison slid my way.


	11. Blue Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In her drunken stupor, Hikari ends up revealing a lot of things she'd been keeping to herself.

Damn it, the bartender was right.

But I felt so fucking good.

I was alive on the dance floor, hips swaying, ass shaking. I was everywhere and nowhere all at once, in my own private space. Our group had all gathered together facing amongst each other laughing and even some flirting. Hell, Namine and I had even managed to shout the lyrics of a popular rap song to one another with enthusiasm. We were all still here, jiving all over the floor in the crowd, all except Roxas and Axel who I had been informed had gone for a smoke. I was tempted to join, drugs was something to cross off my list but Xion and Kairi had been quick to stop that. It didn’t matter, three blue poisons and countless shots in I was already in euphoria.

All of my friends were buzzed but I was somewhere else entirely. I just felt anew, like the girl I’d always dreamed of being but never thought was humanly possible. I was fun and alluring, even posing for pictures with everyone and talking to the odd stranger every now and then. Nothing mattered, not my keyblade, not military school, and definitely not boys.

Boys had soon become a pest out here though, I realized. They seemed to approach me from all over but I was far more agile like this, finding ways to escape their grasps. Nobody could touch me like this, nobody could stop me either.

A new song burst through the speakers, a little bit slower than the rest but far more erotic. People were partnering up quickly and I couldn’t help but look to my friends. I caught Xion and Riku cuddling up back in our booth, probably whispering sweet nothings to each other. She was far more flirtatious with a few drinks in her, less hesitant to touch him and more eager to be touched by him. Nothing crazy, just some hand holding but I was happy to see her finally make a move.

I turned over again to see Namine and Ventus, her back pressed to his chest, not much dancing but definitely engulfed in one another. They’d been close to each other all night. It seemed they tried to keep their hands off each other for a little while but this deep into the night, they couldn’t help it.

When I finally looked before me I went bright red at the sight of Sora and Kairi midway through a kiss. Now I was uncomfortable. Proud, but very uncomfortable. They were wrapped in each others arms grinning before going in for another and even in my drunken stupor I knew to give them some room. But where to go? I didn’t want to interrupt Xion and Riku and there was no way being the mess I was I would strike up a conversation with Namine, that only left one option. I decided I’d find Roxas and see just how our bet was going.

“What’s up, beautiful?”

Oh god, not another one. I groaned looking at the goofball with the wide smile and slicked back vermillion orange hair.

“No thank you,” I replied and attempted to step past him but he blocked my way.

“Hold on, hold on,” he laughed. “I just wanna talk, I’ve been watching you all night.”

“Keep watching dick-weed,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “Cause I’m not interested.”

“Damn,” he lowered his brows and stepped closer to me, a hulking beast trying to intimidate. “Don’t be such a bitch. I bet I can change your mind.”

“I’ve already made one bet tonight,” he couldn’t scare me, not when I was like this. I could take anybody down. “I’m all gambled out.”

I pushed past when he grabbed my wrist, “I was talking to you sl—“

“Talk to me instead.”

I looked behind me and saw Roxas glaring at the looming asshole, his eyes were like daggers and he released me in an instant.

“This yours?” He asked as I rushed to the blond.

“No, _she’s_ not,” he growled and the jerk stepped down. Whatever dominance he thought he had, it disappeared in Roxas’ shadow. “But she’s not yours either. So leave.”

He looked back at me and I stuck out my tongue and showed him my middle finger before he cowered off.

Roxas eyed him until he was out of sight before turning to me and examining my wrist.

“You okay? He didn’t hurt you did he?”

I shook my head and leaped into his arms, “you saved me.”

Slowly he hugged me back, “looks like you were about to save yourself. Must be that liquid courage I so often hear about.”

I nodded slowly and pulled away. He still smelt and looked good, even after smoking god knew what. My eyes lowered as arousal took me over.

“Let me give you a reward.”

He looked at me with surprise but before he could decline I spun in his arms and pressed myself against him.

“Wha—“

“You’re cold,” my hands found his and placed them on my hips as I wound my ass to his pelvis. Sober Hikari could never be so bold but drunk Hikari wanted all the smoke. “Let me warm you up.”

I didn’t give him the chance to escape and threw my arms behind us, gripping the back of his neck and refusing to release him until I felt him move into me. He gave up soon enough and pulled me even closer, my thighs shaking with excitement.

Our bodies were so close together I thought I could feel his heartbeat through my back. I knelt down against him before rolling my body back up, the grinding slow but the pressure on. My hips guided his to the music and my hands found their way in his hair. This kind of dancing, these motions, they were so intimate yet here we were, in a crowd of people along with everybody else up and close with each other. Somehow, this felt different though, this felt painfully erotic and like I could get in trouble any moment if we were caught.

I’d only ever seen Mari do it at parties, dance on guys like this. I could never do it myself, I was far too shy and afraid of messing up so badly I’d never recover from the humiliation. But here, in Roxas’ arms and alcohol pumping through my veins I was invincible. I controlled him just with my body and I was loving every minute of it.

I turned towards him and smiled. I didn’t have to say a word for him to hold me tighter. His hands were on my lower back and mine on the back of his head and caught in his hair once again. He gazed down at me and I up at him. He licked his lips which made me bite down on mine.

“How did you find me?” I asked.

“I couldn’t miss you,” he smirked. “Especially not when you look like this.”

“You really like this dress?”

“I love it,” he said and now I knew he was gone, not as much as me though. Regular Roxas would have never said such a thing to me with such honesty. We were always too busy trying to out do each other in witty banter.

“What part?”

“All of it.”

“So, this part?” I placed his hands on my shoulders over the thin straps.

He nodded cooly and I dragged his hands down to my waist.

“Even this part?”

“Yes, even that part.”

I smiled mischievously and placed his hands firmly on my behind.

“What about this part, Roxas?” My hands caressed his jaw. “Do you like this part?”

I expected him to chicken out but he only squeezed me to pull me in closer. Our foreheads met as he rested his hands gently over my ass and I flinched with delight.

“What do you think?”

He spun us, keeping us in the dark of the club, just how I liked it.

“I think it’s not the dress you like.”

“Hm?” He hummed with lowered eyes.

I forced his gaze to meet mine once again, “I think it’s me in the dress you like.”

He chuckled darkly as we swayed. We kept our bodies together and I ended up pressed against a wall. He bowed over me, his ringed hand to my waist and the other on the wall I lay against.

“How do you know?” He asked.

“I don’t,” I answered, darkly.

“Then you have to prove it.”

“Hm,” I pulled his head to mine, our lips only inches apart. “I guess you’re right.”

“I always am.”

I grazed my fingers against his cut jaw, “I can only think of one way to do it though.”

“And how’s that?” His breath was hot against my lips and my core was aching to feel that heat in other places only he’d get to see.

“You’d have to see me without the dress on,” I smirked. “Then you have to choose.”

He gnawed down on his own lip, shocked by another one of my proposals. Didn’t he know by now? Drunk Hikari was reckless and feared no consequences.

“Do you like me with this dress?” I breathed, his knee was between my thighs making me feel weightless. “Or do you want to see me without it, Roxas?”

He took a deep breath, pulling his hand from the wall and to my face. Big mistake, cause the girl I was now, she would push things. And she planned on pushing him so far he had no choice but to submit.

His thumb ran against my full lips and slowly, I kissed it. He was paralyzed by my motion but I went further and licked it before sucking gently on it. I looked him dead in the eye, my tongue whirling round his finger. His eyes bounced from my lips to my eyes and I knew he could feel what I was insinuating, suckling and licking him as carnally as I did. I knew what he wanted but like this, I wanted it more.

He pulled his thumb from my lips and tilted my head towards him. I watched him pull that exact hand, covered in me and ran that thumb against his own lips before sucking off whatever was left in one swift motion. I was practically wilting before him to see the dominance and sensuality on his face.

“Hikari…” he leaned in and I shut my eyes in anticipation of him. “I want to—“

“Guys!”

We groaned, Roxas muttering a “fuck” under his breath. He dragged himself from me reluctantly to a grinning and wasted Axel.

“We’re taking a picture,” he waved with the rest of the group watching us from afar, back at our table. There was a mix of emotions on their faces but I doubted anyone had seen anything where we were. “Get your asses over here.”

We joined our friends with Axel back at our booth where he placed his arms over our shoulders. I tried to hide my agitation behind a smile but my stiff body language gave me away. Riku’s phone flashed in his hands, practically blinding me. When it was finally over I took another drink from one of the bottles we’d purchased through the night.

“I need some air,” I told the gang and headed out. I stumbled my way quickly out of the club to the back entrance. Kairi had pointed it out to me at some point in the night. She’d said it was much more secluded and a good place to chill if I ever needed to take a break.

“Or vomit” she’d said with an uncomfortable smile which had made me laugh.

I shielded my eyes from the blinding fluorescent light of the hallway and up the tiled off-white stairs. When I reached the top I explained to the bouncer who sat by the open door I just needed some space.

He gestured me through and I breathed in the cold air of the dark alleyway. I’d foolishly thought it would sober me up, make me feel a lot less aroused but now I was just turned on and cold.

“Fuck me….” I grumbled. I lumbered my way over to the staircase of the building next door and sat down with my head in my hands. What was happening between us? Roxas and I had never gotten so close before, well not intentionally, and now here I was lusting over him in the middle of a club. I leaned back and couldn’t help laughing at the situation. I tried to blow it off but my mind and body still wanted something only a man could provide, one specifically.

“This is so stupid,” I sneered and examined my nail polish. Looking at my thumb I thought back to the moment his had ended up between his lips and felt the butterflies in my stomach once again.

“Looks like I’m on my way to winning.”

Roxas stood above me, leaning against the metal rail of the staircase. The butterflies battled amongst themselves at the sight of him. I began to rise but he climbed over me and sat on the step behind me. I leaned back into his torso and titled my head up at him. His eyes were lost in the stars and soon mine were as well.

“We’re gonna have to fly through there,” I said. “To go to other worlds.”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Through all those stars to all those worlds, all under the same sky.”

“The same moon,” my looked to the bright silver sphere in the sky, mesmerized by the light it cast. I found myself reaching, seemingly touching it from my perspective. The moon felt just out of my reach, impossible to get but still in my hand.

I caught Roxas’ hand slide into mine and felt him bring it to his lips. My face beat red and I looked forward. I felt his lips on me, not where I wanted them to be but still the feeling had me aroused once again.

“Hikari—“

“I knew about Namine.”

I turned up to him and he gazed down at me, lips pursed.

“I mean I knew some stuff,” I clarified. “When we first met I overheard you on the phone, it sounded bad.”

“Ah,” he didn’t say anything else. He just rested his lips back on the back of my hand and it made me uneasy.

“Aren’t you mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Because I was eavesdropping.”

He smirked, “I already knew you were nosey.”

A smile broke onto my lips, he’d made a point there but something was still bothering me.

“But aren’t you mad at her?”

He stayed silent but I couldn’t shut myself up.

“I would be livid,” I continued. “I mean not only did she dump you for one of your friends but also someone who looks just like you. I mean how f—“

“Hikari.”

I looked up to him to see a warm smile on his lips despite his harsh tone.

“I don’t want to talk about Namine.”

“Oh…” I pulled my hand from his. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” he replied.

We were silent for a moment but I quickly stood and turned to face him, kneeling on my knees.

“I have to tell you another thing.”

“You’re really in the mood to confess tonight,” he smiled and leaned back.

“I liked a picture on your social,” I whispered. “Of you and… you know. But then you deleted it.”

“I know,” he responded cooly.

My expression changed from that of guilt to surprise. “Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“What was there to say?” He cocked a brow. “You just liked a picture, it doesn’t mean anything Hikki.”

“I guess,” furrowing my brows but another revelation came to my mind. “I have to tell you something else.”

“If you keep this up I’ll have your social security number before the night is over.”

I pouted but he only chuckled, “just tell me, Hikari.”

“I think… I think…” I leaned in close to him. “I think I’m attracted to you.”

He blushed and turned his head away, “oh yeah?” That admission he hadn’t taken so easy, not at all.

“Yeah,” I rose once again and pulled his legs together. He watched me as I climbed over him and rested on his lap, one leg on either side of him.

He didn’t say a word, simply spread his legs once again, sliding me right onto his pelvis.

“I’m really attracted to you,” I continued and found my hands on his chest and my hips rocking against him. “And I can’t control it.”

He turned to me, possibly to object but I was faster and laid his back against the steps as I hovered over him.

“I don’t want to control it.”

He watched my hands slowly unbutton the four buttons of his shirt before he was completely exposed. I was mystified by his perfectly toned chest, the abs on his stomach, and the hint of a V leading down to his groin.

“Say something,” I found myself pleading with him, the silence was unnerving.

“Since when?” He asked as he picked himself up. His hands were on my waist while he held us close.

“Since we met,” I mumbled and brought my own hands to his jaw. “Since always.”

“What do you want, Hikari?” He asked so directly I shivered. “In the end?”

But I didn’t have an answer, all I knew was what my body wanted now.

“I want you to make love to me.”

The air was so still, suddenly the music in the background was gone, the cars on the streets didn’t exist. It was just us, me on his lap aroused and willing and him staring back at me inches away from my mouth.

He searched my face for something, I wasn’t sure. Hesitation, second guessing? He wouldn’t find it here, I was sure I wanted to feel everything he had to offer.

“You’re drunk.”

“What?”

Roxas pulled me off him quickly and started doing up his shirt.

“You’re drunk Hikari,” he replied, refusing to meet my eye before standing. I followed him and grabbed his arm.

“I’m not drunk!” I cried.

“Yes Hikari, you are!” He ripped his arm from me and stared me down. “We’re both drunk! We’re so fucking high we’re just saying stupid shit we don’t mean.”

“Are you serious right now?” My head began to spin.

“Yes, I’m serious,” he grumbled and stepped back the moment I reached out to him. “This isn’t us, this isn’t real!”

“How would you know?” I felt tears well up in my eyes, my throat clenching as my heartbeat rose. “How the fuck would you know!?”

“I just do,” his eyes went to the ground but I wouldn’t let him look away from what he’d done. I stormed up to him, my hands in fists and beat against his chest.

“No you don’t!” I yelled, the tears begun to stream down my face. “You can’t know! You don’t know a fucking thing! You don’t know anything!”

He grabbed my arms and met my eyes with a somber frown, “we’re drunk, Hikari. We’re so drunk and so high and I can barely talk to you, nevertheless fuck you like this.”

“Fuck me?” My voice was low and hoarse. “I didn’t ask you to fuck me, Roxas.”

“I know what you asked,” his eyes were dark and daunt. “And I can’t.”

I pushed myself off him and stormed past him in a huff. I couldn’t get far before he held onto my wrist.

“Where are you going?”

“Fuck you,” I hissed. “Let go of me.”

“Hikari just calm down,” he kept a tight hold of me. “Stay here, I’m gonna get you some water to sober up.”

I snatched my arm back and glared while he sighed and headed back inside. I was shaking, unsure if it was from the cold or the rage boiling inside me. I had to get out of here but I didn’t know the first way to get back to the dorms. I looked around the alley, there was literally no one here and it looked like empty streets on either ends of the road. I had to figure out a way out of here.

I didn’t even want to go back to the dorms, I didn’t want to go anywhere near that damn school. I just had to get out of here, get away from this stupid city.

“Looks like I’m here just in time.”

Above me, on the building across from the club stood that raven-haired boy from the forest. He stepped to the edge and leaped down gracefully. His eyes were challenging as always and he was dressed in an outfit similar to last time, all in black with his leather jacket but with a red plaid shirt tied to his hips.

“What are you doing here?” In my drunken mess I waddled towards him. I wiped the tears from my face, grateful for Kairi’s waterproof makeup.

“You needed me,” he smirked once I faced him. “So I came.”

I watched him pull off his jacket and he tossed it into my arms. His shirt was sleeveless, revealing his toned biceps.

“Can’t have you getting sick after I’ve come all this way.”

I slid into it, appreciative of the warmth.

“So,” he sneered. “What do you want to do?”

“What do you mean?”

He got in my face with that same intense stare and hellish smile.

“Do you want to stay for him?” He breathed. “Or do you want to go with me?”

I looked behind me at the light coming from the underground club. The music was still bumping but I was completely over it. I wanted out. I ran to the door and popped my head in.

“Hey,” I whispered catching the bouncer’s eye. “If that blond guy comes back can you tell him I left with my friend?”

The bouncer’s face glanced at me and then to the boy in the torn jeans and nonchalant grin. He shrugged but nodded and I ran back to the stranger.

“My bike’s just at the end of the road,” he said and gestured for me to lead the way.

“And he’s got a motorcycle,” I smirked. “What a cliche.”

He shrugged shoving his hands in his pockets with the same arrogant look on his face. “You could always go back.”

I took one last look at the lit doorway but my frown only deepened as I marched down the dark alley.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”


	12. Love Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari ends up at Vanitas’ place but in her current state, things get pushed to a level she never knew she wanted.

My buzz was back the moment I gripped onto mystery-boy’s tight stomach and we fled on his black bike. My head was cleared and I was fun Hikari, grinning from ear to ear in her helmet. His body was athletic, firm in my hands and as I swept my fingers against him I could feel the abs beneath. I didn’t know if I’d hoped for the boy to show up or how he knew where to find me but I’d never felt better than being with him right at this moment.

The ride hadn’t taken long, just enough to get me back in a good mood so when we reached his apartment complex I was all smiles as we travelled through the classy lobby, past the concierge and up the elevator to his loft.

I walked in cautiously behind him and was quite impressed. All the furniture was black or some shade of grey, even his tiled floor. I wandered into his open concept kitchen, examining all the stainless steel appliances that must have cost a fortune and noticed two small grey bowls by his island but didn’t think much of it. There was little to no decor but whenever there was they were large paintings of deep ocean waters, black night skies, or modern art pieces covered in more darker colours I simply didn’t understand. I passed the wide hallway leading to what I assumed had been his bedroom, bathroom, and possible another bedroom and to the small bar set up in the corner by his balcony. Even though it was a smaller space, I was amazed by the amount of bottles organized neatly on the shelf above the golden bar cart. I looked in the mirror above it and saw my reflection, this makeup really did wonders. I looked just as good as when the night started.

Hands still clasped behind my back I looked over to his living room. He had a long flat black sofa with two matching single seat chairs framing the black electric fireplace and wide screen TV above it. His coffee table was wooden grey with a notebook on it as well as some golden decorative boxes. My eyes turned back to his balcony, the charcoal black curtains drawn askew, allowing the moonlight to light up his home.

“I’d offer you a drink,” I looked behind me to see him fiddling with a dark bottle and glass. “But it seems you’ve already had plenty.”

I frowned, “give it to me.”

I heard him chuckle darkly as he grabbed a second glass and strolled over to his living room. I walked over and removed his jacket, placing it on the single seat near me before sitting by him on the sofa.

“Thanks,” I muttered as I watched him pour the glasses with the dark brown liquid. It was strong, a dark bitter scent that burned my nostrils. “What is that?”

“Whisky,” he passed me my glass and I took it with both hands.

“Cheers,” he touched his cup to mine and drank it effortlessly. Not wanting to feel left out I took a sip but cringed immediately.

“Ugh. That’s disgusting.”

He snickered, “you don’t drink it for the taste, Hikari.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to take another sip and whispering under my breath “then what’s the point?”

He only chortled before reaching for the remote of his television and turning it on. A blitzball game appeared on the screen and I smirked, remembering home.

Suddenly my phone buzzed, still stuck deep within my bra. The boy glanced at my chest, causing me to blush as I pulled it out quickly and answered.

“Hikari!” Kairi let out a sigh of relief from the other end of the line. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” my eyes stayed on the boy who only laughed and kicked his boot-wearing foot on the table.

“I just got a ride home,” I lied. I was so glad I’d locked my door for once and my luck only improved with Kairi not trying to video call.

“From who?” She questioned. “Roxas said the bouncer told him you left with some guy.”

“It was a taxi driver,” I responded. “Seriously Kairi. I’m good, just exhausted. You guys have a fun time and let me know how everything goes with you and you-know-who.”

She was hesitant but had no choice but to believe me. “Okay, we’ll see you later.”

“Have good night,” I replied. “And don’t bother trying to call me or anything. I’m seriously about to pass out.”

I heard her laugh on the other end, “alright, take some pain meds. Goodnight.”

“Night,” I hung up the phone hurriedly to see I was hit with a barrage of calls and texts from all my friends, even Mari. I must not have noticed when I was on the motorcycle.

“You always lie so easily?” The raven-haired boy asked, eyes still on the television.

“Only when I’m drinking apparently,” I tossed my phone on his coffee table then took out my coin purse and threw it there as well before slipping out of my heels. My feet were so sore and the pressure released from them with my shoes off somehow hurt more than with them on.

“What else are you hiding in there?”

I laid back into the couch and took another sip of my drink.

“The keys to the city and the cure to cancer,” I replied sarcastically.

He only smirked and focused back on the television. We sat there for a few minutes, mindlessly watching the game not saying a word but the silence was killing me.

“Okay,” I set my glass down and readjusted myself on his couch to face him. “Who exactly are you?”

He sniggered and set his own glass down before placing his feet firmly on the ground. He only turned his head to me with his neck laid on the couch.

“We’re still on this question?”

“Yes we’re still on this question,” I grimaced. “We can’t be off this question until you answer it.”

“I’m the guy that saved you,” he smiled but I wouldn’t. “Again.”

“Okay, first of all, you never saved me,” I retorted. “And secondly… well there is no second. Who are you?”

“You really want to know?” I watched him reach into the box on the table before pulling out some flimsy paper and a match.

“Obviously,” I spotted a small bag filled with something thick and green resembling moss.

“What if you don’t like the answer?” He emptied the bag and I was hit with raw odour of the plant. It was heavy and pungent and made my nose tingle but I wouldn’t let it distract me.

“I guess we’ll just have to see then,” he gathered some the moss into the sheets and rolled it. My eyes widened as I realized what was happening. I’d smelt this scent before, on Mari the night she snuck in and got into a huge fight with her dad. It had to be weed, and now I was anxious. I’d wanted to smoke earlier but now was my chance and I couldn’t find that courage from earlier.

He licked the edge and pressed it together but it wouldn’t stick. Turning to me, he held the roll up to my lips and with an assertive smile and said, “lick it.”

I stared back at him in shock but he didn’t move a bit. Here I was again, in an erotic situation, buzzed, and tempted. I looked into his golden eyes and leaned forward to gently run my tongue along where his had been.

“Seems you’ve got the touch,” he pinched it between his fingers and it stuck right away. “Good girl.”

That did it, hearing him say those words to me seemed to flick off every last inhibition within myself. Caution was to the wind while I watched him light the joint with a match before taking a long drag from it. His profile was perfect, his lips sucked from the drug with ease and the smoke scattered from his mouth in a single breath. Something about his calm demeanour and furrowed brows with eyes focused forward but blank seduced me.

I wrapped my arms against myself, I had to pull it together.

“You smoke?” He asked.

I wouldn’t be afraid, I was never afraid, not like this. I had to remind myself of that.

I crawled forward on the couch on my hands and knees to the joint he held towards me.

“I do today,” I gripped onto his hand with both of my mine and sucked hard against the joint. The smoke spread down my throat and welled in my lungs. Despite my best efforts I fell into a coughing fit.

I reached for my whisky, it’s bitter taste was a warm welcome in comparison to the weed.

The boy chuckled, rising from his seat and walking to his kitchen. He returned to me with a glass of water and although pouty, I took it and thanked him. The cool drink was a welcome treat amongst all the other poisons I’d ingested tonight.

He sat back down on the couch, “looks like you’re not all grown up just yet.”

“You’re the one who still plays games,” I mumbled, savouring my water.

“Adult games,” he clarified. He threw his arm on the top of the couch and gestured for me to come in close.

“Come here.’

I don’t know why but gingerly I set my glass down and crawled towards him. I sat right on my knees when he gently gripped the back of my throat. He pulled back on the joint, filling his body with the toxic vapour and tipped my head towards his ready to inhale the blunt, my lips parted and my stomach turning.

Once he pulled it from his lips with his mouth hovering just over mine he released the smoke into my face. I took a deep breath, surrounded by the fog as it seeped inside me, for less lethal than when I’d taken my first puff.

“How do you feel?”

“Hazy,” my lips curled into a smile. “Let me try again.”

He held the joint as he had before and commanded me to take it slow. I shut my eyes and pulled the fumes in, he was right, this time was much easier.

“That’s it,” his golden eyes glowed in the mist.”Just like that.”

Releasing the smoke I fell back into the couch against his arm.

“Wow,” I breathed. That first hit felt like it was settling in as my body relaxed. My brain felt like it was melting and the room spun but in the best way possible, a gentle twirl around me.

“It’s a good strain right?” He took the blunt to his mouth again. “It’s called Love-witch.”

“Love-witch,” I repeated. “Cute name.”

“Kind of what you’ve been tonight.”

I glared at him but he turned elsewhere.

“How would you know?”

“I told you,” he leaned into me, blowing a puff of smoke in my face. “I know everything about you.”

“I’ve never acted like this before,” I admitted.

“But I predicted you would,” his eyes gazed down to my chest, then my hips. He licked his lips once they found mine. “Looking like this though, I’m surprised he could resist.”

Scoffing, I questioned his own self-control, “can you?”

His eyes met mine, “aren’t I?”

I blushed as he lowered the volume of his TV before clicking a few buttons when the room filled with music. I heard the strumming of a familiar song and felt a calm wash over me. My body seemed to turn to bubbles and I could have sworn I was floating away. I thought I may have been drowning, deep into the murky waters of the paintings on the walls and the electric blues of a certain poison.

“You’re funny like this,” he whispered. “Predictable but fu—“

“ _I’ve got feathers in my hair, I get down to beat poetry_ ,” the voice crooned before I could even control it. “ _And my jazz collection’s rare, I can play most anything…_ ”

I rose from the couch and found myself swaying, lost in heavy smoke and his gaze.

“ _I’m talking about my generation, talking about that newer nation_ ” my bare feet climbed on top of his coffee table and rocked my head to the rhythm of the music. “ _And if you don’t like it you can beat it, beat it baby._ ”

He tried to look uninterested but it was clear I’d perked his interest when I lightly kicked the closed bottle of whisky and empty glasses onto his black rug.

“ _If you don’t get it, then forget it_ ,” I crouched down and dragged my hand from my ankle calmly up my body. He watched as my fingers delicately slid against the curves. “ _So I don’t have to fucking explain it._ ”

The chorus returned and I bowed, gesturing him to lean forward. He followed my fingers, eyes lowered with a smile, amused by my lack of reserve.

“ _I’ve got feathers in my hair_ ,” I continued to sing to him. “ _I get high on hydroponic weed_.”

He scoffed and stood before me, the joint between his lips. I threw my arms on his shoulders, singing carelessly. His hands gripped my thighs and he lifted me from the table before setting me on his lap. We were pressed against once another with his hands grazing my hips and mine still tied behind his neck.

“ _And my jazz collection’s rare_ ,” my fingers lugged down his sleeveless shirt until I reached the hem. Unable to meet his eyes, I pulled it off and tossed it behind me. The weed couldn’t hold back my hunger as I stared at his muscular torso. He was toned and defined, perfectly sculpted with his athletic physique. Especially leading down to his legs where the delicate but bold lines formed a pronounced V-shape. He had a swimmer’s body, I couldn’t help but think, and in this smog I wanted him to dive into me like an ocean. “ _I get down to beat poetry_.”

He looked at me, urging me to push forward, as if I was a coward. The singing never stopped and leisurely I snatched the joint from his lips and took another long drag.

“ _Yeah my boyfriend’s pretty cool_ ,” I mused with lowered eyes when he sang along. “ _But he’s not as cool as me_.”

My hips pushed gently against his groin when I gradually ground into him. My hands caressed his face and he held me so close my mind tricked me into believing we were one.

“ _‘Cause I’m a Brooklyn baby_ ,” we crooned together. Our lips were so close but I felt so free, not an ounce of hesitation on these drugs. “ _I’m a Brooklyn baby_.”

His lips met mine right in the middle, tenderly. My body melted as he was hot to the touch. My brain was completely empty and my skin felt so sensitive. I turned against his lips but he caught me and slid his tongue inside my mouth. I breathed heavy against him as our tongues twisted with vigour, he was picking up the pace. My nose filled with his dark scent mixed with the burning of whisky but I felt so in control.

I heard the music fade into a heavy bass with the voice of a male singer sing in falsetto about fucking on drugs and the irony made my lips curl. With a better mind I’d deduce that maybe he’d planned this but with his lips kissing me passionately I honestly didn’t care.

I gripped onto the back of his head and yanked his hair, I wanted more. I felt his tongue run across the roof of my mouth when his hands found their way onto my ass. His pelvis began to grind into mine and I moaned against him. It was only a bit of fabric that jailed us but it didn’t stop him. The raven-haired boy kissed me rougher, faster even but I fought back. I felt him yank the hair tie I’d had on and my long red locks cascaded around us.

“Fuck,” he moaned against my lips. “Fuck you, Hikari.”

I grinned but kept my lips on his, “am I still your good girl?”

He pecked my mouth once and nuzzled his lips to my neck, nibbling on my earlobe and licking along my jaw. I threw my head back, moaning in ways I’d never heard before. I clutched onto his bare back, scrapping my nails against his smooth skin. He leaned us forward and took his mouth to the exposed flesh of my breasts. He nibbled against my skin, little bites he soothed with kisses.

My head bent all the way back and my vision was clouded but I knew one thing as I panted, I wanted more.

My voice grew louder the moment he bit into my neck. The sounds I made were completely out of my will, he had complete authority over me now. The only thing competing against my moans was the singing of a new song from a female singer belting through his condo.

The wetness of his tongue drug up from my collarbone and back to my lips. He tasted like spearmint, fresh and sweet.

I separated us and looked him dead in the eye, “let’s play those games.”

His eyes searched mine but I was firm in my request. He closed his eyes and smirked.

“How bad do you want to play?”

I kissed his lips once and then pushed him back on the couch. I stood in front of him, my hands reaching for the back zipper of my dress. There was a rare expression bewilderment on his face while the short dress that seemed to be the cause for tonight’s events tumbled to the ground.

“Really bad.”

He grabbed me in my lacy black set before I could even process it and wrapped my legs around his waist. His lips smothered mine but in this mood that’s exactly what I wanted. I felt his legs move forward and I embraced him tighter; finally.

My back pressed against something hard before I heard a door shut. I opened my eyes and realized we were in pitch darkness, only the sound of more sensual music flowing into this room as well.

I fell back into soft satin and although I couldn’t see him, I could hear him shuffling about. When I heard the faint sound of a zipper and then something drop to the ground I was grateful for the darkness as I knew my entire being must have been cherry red.

I heard his sheets whisk from the bed and didn’t realize what had happened when his heat was once again over me.

“Was this what you wanted?” His voice made me throb from between my legs. “From the start?”

“Is it what you wanted?”

His laugh was low in his throat. His hands caressed my jaw before he kissed me tenderly at first and then lowering his weight onto me. The feeling of his pelvis against mine, the firmness coming from him had me beg for it rougher when I held him down with my legs. His hand wrapped around my throat, pressing against it lightly. The strain to my airway filled me with a hazy joy, somehow my high from all the drugs and alcohol helped continue my bliss.

He kissed down my body, over my strapless bra and down to my stomach, leaving more love bites, rougher than before. Just at my belly button he slid his tongue to the hem of my panties and my thighs shut immediately. I was so hot and his teasing was driving me mad. My nails clawed at his back as my moans turned into little screams. He pressed harder onto my throat and the tension had me gasping for air. I felt his hands pry my legs apart and his bites landed on my inner thigh. I clutched onto the hand he kept on my neck as his hair tickled against my womanhood. My hips jerked forward, seemingly on their own when he released my throat. He came up for air while I struggled to catch my breath. I already knew what face he was making in the darkness, I didn’t have to guess.

“Had enough?”

I didn’t bother responding, only grabbing his head and embracing him in another kiss. Our tongues were over one another the moment our lips touched and his groin pushed into mine. I jerked along with him, meeting his rhythm at each thrust.

I was possessed, I had to be completely overtaken by lust when I pushed him off me and slammed myself on to him. We kept kissing as I wouldn’t let him breathe until I was comfortable with him between my legs once again. I maneuvered my hips over his, shifting in place until I felt it, the hardness emerging from underneath these stupid clothes.

It was firm and thick, so much so I thought it might break me in half when I could finally really feel it. But even behind this barrier I was dwindling above him. My hands grasped his legs from behind me but I couldn’t stop shaking, in fact his hands on my ass were the only thing keeping me balanced.

I rocked back and forth, hard and rough against him screaming whenever the pleasure built up in my lungs. My voice felt as if it echoed throughout the entire building, only softening when his hand clenched my throat once again causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head.

I could hear his voice in the dark, practically growling my name when he sat up with me and bit down hard on my neck. I wanted him to leave a bruise, break skin, whatever he needed to release me from this tension.

His hand drew back from my ass before landing with a blow so hard not even the choking could hold back my cry.

“More,” I demanded. “More… Harder.”

A simple request but a deadly order when the next hit burned through my entire back. His hand was taunt and my flesh ripe and supple with each slap surely leaving a mark. Not just there either. Each spank of my ass came with a bite mark almost vying for my pain and I was loving every minute of it.

“You like it?” He moaned. “You like it when it hurts?”

“Yeah,” my voice was breathless and I twisted and turned, running my hands through his hair. “I love it.”

He chuckled darkly against my mouth and brought me back down on the bed. My legs were wrapped around him and he never stopped rubbing into me, pushing me further. I could feel the slickness between us that I just knew was coming from me but it only seemed to make him want to go in deeper, cross the line, and that was exactly what I needed.

“Do it now,” I begged and bit his lower lip.

“Do what?”

I brought my lips to his jaw, making love bites of my own. I took my mouth by his ear and licked the shell. He shivered in my arms and I giggled.

“You know what.”

He drew back and kissed me hard once more and with our lips still touching whispered, “say it.”

I felt myself flutter beneath him, my stomach was in knots and the place between my legs was a pool of molten lava. In this state I was wet, sweating, and aroused and I bathed in the glory that came with it. I didn’t want it to stop, not for a moment.

“Fuck me.”

He was silent when he kissed my lips slow. He was sweet, his lips supple, and his hands moved from my ass back to my waist. He withdrew but still stayed close to me.

“You’re high.”

My face twisted to that of dissatisfaction, “what? No!”

He brushed the hair from my face, “you’re beautiful, tempting, and very high.”

I groaned with frustration, “why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Maybe ‘cause it’s true,” he whispered and lay flat against me. I felt whatever hardness he had to him soften which annoyed me further. “And who’s everyone?”

I shut my mouth, I refused to think about earlier in the night. Right now was about us, it was about me.

“None of your business.”

Chuckling, he lifted himself from me and fell to my side. I turned away from him and felt a wave of tiredness. After so much activity, my body was finally giving out. Even if I wanted to be mad I couldn’t.

I felt him press against me and couldn’t help but smile when his arm lay over me and his lips kiss my back.

“Tempting, huh?” I mumbled.

“Shut up,” he said between kisses. “Don’t think this means you won.”

I looked back just as his face came to mine once more.

“Didn’t I?”

I cupped his chin and licked his lips once before twisting away from him. I could feel the surprise in his body and rested deep in his sheets.

I always won.


	13. Hydroponic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oblivious of yesterday’s events with a massive hangover, Hikari finds herself in a place unfamiliar to her.

_VANITAS_

I’d been the first to wake up late this foggy morning. Laying on my back I spent at least ten minutes staring at the golden-skinned girl. Her breath was so shallow I wondered if she’d died when she turned over in my bed sheets. With that I left my room as quietly as I could and got ready in my guest bathroom. She slept like a log ‘cause I returned to my room to grab a fresh pair of boxers and jeans she hadn’t even stirred. She really was knocked out.

I was in the living room when I grabbed my shirt from yesterday and tossed it over my head. My eyes rested on her dress crumbled to the ground and shoes scattered on the floor.

Yesterday had been… a lot. From the drinking, then the smoking, then… everything else.

Her phone beeped and I looked down the hall; not a single sound. I snatched the phone from the table and just as expected, not a single password lock anywhere to be found. She was too trusting. I scrolled through her past calls, looked like the gang was all here. Texts upon texts, calls upon calls. My interest was especially peaked as I headed over to her socials. No new pictures on her page, just the most recent of her posing in that dress that now sat on my floor. I browsed the others’ pages and as expected, Kairi had the goods already posted.

I scanned through, my eyes always searching for hers amongst the crowds. A flint of jealous sparked within me when I reached a video. Behind Kairi throwing herself at Sora, her hip peeked from behind the blond with him hovering over her. I couldn’t tell what they were doing but just seeing him over her like that made the corners of my mouth twitch. The phone pinged again and I smirked. A message from one of my brothers. I opened the text Ventus had sent and read it quickly. Roxas was worried, hm? Well he wouldn’t like what was coming at all then.

I clicked back into her contacts and added my number in, leaving the name as V.

I felt a scratch against my ankle and smiled to Yuna.

“Back from another adventure I take it,” I lifted her and headed to the kitchen. My fridge was practically empty, as usual. I really had to stop ordering out but I was always starving and too lazy to cook. I opened up the nearest charcoal cabinet and grabbed a can of tuna for Yuna. Pulling at the tab I, poured the fish into her bowl before filling the other with fresh water. She leaped from my arms and dove straight to her breakfast.

Now I had to find something for me but coffee first. I filled the filter with a dark roast blend and looked into another cabinet for anything to eat. I managed to stumble to an unopened box of cereal and grabbed it in a haste. I tore the box and wrapper and shook the sugary flakes directly into my mouth. The moment it hit my taste buds I was chewing down on it. God, I’d been ravenous after last night. None of this had been apart of my plan but here we were.

I swallowed the last bit of cereal in my mouth when I noticed Yuna’s golden glare from her bowl.

“Don’t judge me,” I frowned when my phone buzzed. “You don’t pay rent.”

A familiar name popped up with a message I didn’t bother opening. I wasn’t looking for a lecture. I knew what I did and I had no intention of explaining myself. I poured myself a glass of water and walked back to the living room.

The evidence of what I’d done was all around me, with the clothes and cups thrown on the ground. I picked everything up, one by one and set them back in their place, peering back to my couch ever so often. Lastly, I grabbed her dress.

Just last night she was filling it out so well, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. I thought back, watching her walk through my apartment, thick legs in those heels, smooth just like the rest of her skin. My eyes found their way to her ass, perky on those stilts just hidden enough under that short fabric. Her hips swung back and forth and it made me wonder if she’d done this on purpose and did she always walk so sensually. Her waist was cinched and breasts sat high on her chest, bouncing just enough with each step. The cleavage that dress offered for a chest her size made her impossible to not look at. Then there was her slender neck and fragile collar bones before your eyes would land on her heart-shaped face. Those full, peak less lips, that button nose, and her wide, almond-shaped eyes. When she’d batted those long, thick black lashes at me or raised an arch brow it took all my will to hold myself back.

When I became apart of this, I didn’t know I’d be dealing with someone that looked like her. The worst part was she never knew when she was doing it but the moment she wanted something, she slipped on the charm just as easily as she’d slipped out of the dress I was holding.

Damn her, I brought it to my face and breathed in her fading sent of lavender and grapefruit. When she was in my bed I’d held her for so long I never wanted to smell anything else; even her long red hair smelt sweet.

I heard the thuds of footsteps on my hardwood floor and knew my guest was up. I placed the dress on my couch and went for my black cat. I took Yuna in my arms and filled up a cup of coffee, plain. It would keep her up.

In my room my black bed was bare. I faced the door to the bathroom and saw it wide open and the corner of the bedsheet sticking out from it. I walked into my fairly large room, filled with black dressers, nightstands, and a wardrobe with silver hardware all against dim grey walls. I noticed the long charcoal curtains had been pulled apart only letting in the smallest sliver of light.

The retching coming from the bathroom was all too expected so when I saw Hikari hovering over the toilet I could only smirk.

“The come down’s always the worst.”

Her glossy eyes struggled to focus on me but when they widened I knew she was coming through.

“You!” She skidded back from the porcelain seat and bumped into the glass of my shower.

“Calm down, Hikari,” I sighed.

“Stay back!” She held out her hand and in an instant, her keyblade was pointed straight at me.

My mouth twisted into a smile and I slowly approached her. She gripped her weapon with both hands and shut her eyes. It trembled in her palms and I knew she was still no where near she needed to be immediately. I crouched before her and pushed Halcyon from my chest with a finger.

“You’re getting pretty good at that,” I said, darkly. It was true, she was summoning a lot better than when I first showed her but that was the simplest step. “But you don’t need it.”

Her jaw clenched but it vanished in another flash.

“Good girl,” I mused and her face reddened. Yuna leaped from my arms, her wide eyes narrowing on Hikari. She strolled into her lap and nuzzled in close to her. Well, looks like she’d taken a liking to her quickly. Hikari gave her a tight lip smile before stroking her chin.

“Looks like she likes you,” I held out the mug but read the concern on her face. “It’s coffee.”

She took it gingerly, “thank you.”

I only nodded as she smelt the dark roast of the beans and sipped slowly. It was bitter, not an ounce of sugar and the way she scrunched her nose I knew she hated it.

“It’s good for a hang over,” I said plainly.

“What happened?” She stared down into the dark, hot drink. “My head is spinning.”

“You went out with your friends,” I leaned against the sink and answered. “And somehow ended up here.”

She blinked, “how?”

“You needed me,” my voice shrunk. “And I came for you.”

She didn’t dare look at me but she could never hide well enough when she was blushing. I watched her take a big gulp of the coffee and knew she’d instantly regret it. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. She lifted Yuna from her lap and scrambled to the toilet. I tried not to laugh as she groaned into it. With all she’d done yesterday according to her actions here and Kairi’s profile she was lucky to even be alive. I reached to hold up her hair but before I could even touch Yuna leapt onto her back and settled on her head.

“Your cat…”

“Yuna’s more like a roommate,” I claimed. She couldn’t even respond when another round of vomit climbed out of her throat.

The poor girl retched every and anything that was left in her. Soon, even Yuna couldn’t take it and marched out of the room, judging me the entire way. Hikari’s hand reached up and flushed the chunks down when she finally pulled herself from the seat.

“What the hell did I do last night?” She seemed to ask herself.

“Take a shower,” I suggested. “I can try and fill you in.”

Her body stiffened as if she didn’t trust me. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the irony. “Here.”

Nibbling on her bottom lip she took my hand and stumbled to her feet. Quickly I gripped onto her waist to stabilize her. The dizziness from all the vomiting had her weak on her feet and the blanket she’d wrapped around herself hadn’t helped.

She held onto my shoulder and looked up to me, embarrassed and confused.

I tucked the hair that had managed to fall over one of her eyes behind her ear.

“You’re a mess.”

Her mouth curved into a sympathetic smile and I guided her to the shower. I slid the glass open for her so she could step in.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” her voice was dry, so different from the melodious sound it made yesterday.

She shut the glass and opened it once more to shove the blanket in my hand. I went back into my room and tossed it on the bed and grabbed my plaid shirt from the floor only to come back to the bathroom and see her fling her panties on the shower frame. My cheeks burned as her bra came up next before she finally turned on the tap.

“Ah!” She moaned which didn’t help the redness on my face. I listened to her sigh and sat on the closed toilet watching the shadow of her figure pour what I could only assume was my body wash into her hands.

“So what happened?”

I blinked out of the naughty thoughts that came into my mind only to be confronted by memories of the same nature. “What do you remember?”

“I went out with my friends to Nightingale,” she recalled. “No, we pre-drank first. Then we took a car to Nightingale. I met Namine and Roxas…”

My jaw tightened at the sound of his name causing me to lean forward. I knew what happened. I’d seen them from the roof, her climb onto him and him push her off. Then they fought and he left her out there. It hadn’t bothered me then so why did it bother me now?

“Roxas and I made a bet about something,” she continued. “I don’t know what happened but I went to get some air and he followed me I think. We got into an argument about god knows what and then you showed up, right?”

“That’s right,” her back arched and her hair dangled just above her perched behind. I had to stop watching but wanted to see every curve again. “Anything else?”

“Oh, I had whisky here, right?”

“That you did.”

“That’s all I know,” she answered. “What about you?”

I thought of maybe just not telling her, maybe it was something she wouldn’t want to remember. She’d been all over me yesterday but today she was back to fearing me. I knew what she’d been through before and I’d still let her drunken state seduce me.

“I’m sticky.”

I whipped my head to the shower and saw her hand pull from the outline of her thigh. I buried my head in my hands, there went keeping it to myself.

“You were drunk,” I licked my lips, oddly nervous. “Happy but drunk. We drank together—“

“The whisky,” she interrupted.

“Yeah,” agreeing, I leaned back. “We… rolled a blunt.”

“I licked it,” her voice uttered. “You called me a ‘good girl’.”

Was she playing games with me because she seemed to recall things just fine.

“And you smoked for the first time,” I paused but she said nothing. “You were so gone by then ‘cause you started singing.”

“I did?” The embarrassment was heard all over her voice. I couldn’t help but smile. I’d liked hearing it, seeing her lost in some song, only that sweet voice guiding her in and out of consciousness. She was so far gone but I’d enjoyed every last moment of it.

“You did,” I leered at her figure lifting her heavy breasts as she showered.

“Then what? That can’t be it.”

“You got on my coffee table,” I retorted. “…Before you got on my lap.” Was the completely accurate? No, but all that mattered was the destination, not the journey.

The only thing I could hear was the droplets of water from the shower head. Was she remembering? Could I finally stop reminiscing about this?

“You sang with me…” the redhead mumbled, a part I’d hoped she hadn’t remembered. “Then?”

“We kissed.”

The water stopped. She was still, I couldn’t tell which way she faced but she didn’t move. My brows knitted and my frown deepened. There was sharp pain in the pit of my stomach that I refused to give a name to.

“I need a towel.”

I grabbed my towel from the hook behind the door and a bottle of lotion from the counter. I expected to throw it over to her but the shower door screeched open and her slender arm stuck out from the creak. I handed it to her but as I went to leave her nails scratched my arm. I saw her peeking from the crack with an expression of innocence.

“Was it a good kiss?” She bit her lip with a smile. “I’ve never done it before so…”

I drew my brows together holding a lopsided smile of my own.

“It was a very good kiss.”

“Hm,” her eyes drifted aside and she snuck back into the shower. I tossed my shirt over the frame but was faced with the delicate underwear set that had just been on her. Scenes from last night flashed before my eyes when she suddenly swiped them from view.

I shook my head went back to where I’d been sitting.

“You can put that on,” Ismirked. “Probably more appropriate than that dress.”

“Thanks,” she slipped into her panties and I felt a mix of arousal and perversion for watching.

“So then what?”

“What do you mean?”

“I woke up half-naked,” she responded, trying her best to sound stern. “What happened?”

I chuckled at her attempt to try and control me. She’s wasn’t a love witch any longer, just a stunning girl with a major role to play.

“You stripped,” without seeing her face I knew she was shocked but her own actions. “And I took you to my room.”

The shower door slid open and she stepped onto the bathmat with my towel draped high above her head. Her skin shimmered in my shirt which reached her mid-thigh. The first three buttons were undone and I forced myself to keep my eyes on her face. The natural pink of her lips spread into a smile.

“You wouldn’t happen to have an extra toothbrush would you?”

“Medicine cabinet.”

“Painkillers too?” She asked approaching the sink.

“Yeah, they’re at the top,” I came up behind her as she opened the cabinet. How was she using my body wash but it smelt so much better on her?

“I can get it,” she perched herself on her toes and reached but all she managed to do was rub her behind against me.

I focused on the top shelf, I knew if I even peeked at her it’d be over. Unknowingly, I wrapped my arm over her stomach and took the brush and painkiller.

Those violet-blues drew me into her pouting lips. I placed the items in her hands but found myself dipping low to her.

“You’re sweet when your mad,” I jested.

She face went red but she huffed and leant forward, pressing her backside into me.

“I could have got it,” she muttered and opened up the pill bottle.

Oh, fuck her. I pulled away and sat back down. She’d turned on that switch, that one inside her that with enough practice she could use to make anyone weak.

“So what next?” She took two pills before tearing the new toothbrush from it’s package. Hikari really demanded to know it all. I watched her lean into the mirror, my shirt rising to a dangerous height.

“Where was I?”

She glared at me, “you took me to your room.”

“Right,” my voice dragged on. “We just made out… half-naked and passed out.”

She kept her eyes on herself in the mirror brushing away at her teeth. I came behind her once more and whispered into her ear.

“Do you regret it?”My hands were firmly planted on the counter on either side of her. She bent forward but I wouldn’t let her distract me. She rinsed out her mouth with her eyes on me the whole time but I refused to disconnect.

“Spearmint,” she smiled. Her tongue running against her teeth as she straightened against me, “do you?”

“I asked you first.”

“Hm,” I felt her hips sway against mine mindlessly. “Do I regret it?”

I struggled to focus but begun leaning in closer and dropping my head from her gaze. She really was testing me. Suddenly, her hand was on my jaw and forced me to look at her in the mirror. Her long nails dug into my cheeks, reminding me of the scratches she left on back.

“I don’t regret it.”

She dropped her hand and pulled the towel from her hair, that amber smell brushing past my nostrils. She pressed the cloth into my chest with a smirk and marched past me.

“I’m starving.”

She left me in shock, maybe there was still a little bit of that confidence left in her. Had the weed not worn off?

I tossed the towel to my bed and followed her to my living room. She’d slipped into her heels and sat at the kitchen island on one of the grey barstools munching away at my cereal straight from the box.

“You need to go grocery shopping,” she said plainly, petting a purring Yuna.

I sneered, she really was a mess.

—

The ride back to Valorsea had been easy. Hikari held on a lot tighter than yesterday but far less touchy this time around. She wouldn’t admit it but she was freaking out during the entire ride. We’d cut through the forest, a dangerous path to get as close to her dorm as we could. It was exiting the forest on foot in the afternoon that had been the struggle. She held my hand, stopping me anytime any student had passed. She’d yank me close to her and pull on the hood of my hoodie. I found the entire thing humorous to be honest. In reality, I had to be way more careful but watching her panic made me careless.

We’d gotten lucky from the heavy rain last night as the entire city was covered in fog today. Soon enough we were right at the wall of her window, way above us.

“Damn it,” she groaned. “We can’t go inside, they think I’m in my room.”

“I’ll handle it,” I grinned and she looked at me with suspicion. I slid in front of her, remembering the room I’d gone into before her arrival and black smoke burst through the air when a portal opened.

“After you.”

She scrutinized both it and I but before she could object I pushed her inside. She stumbled but I had her hands in mine in a moment, the darkness enveloping us. I pulled her from the portal and into her room.

“Whoa,” she mumbled and released me. “How—“

“So this is how you live?” I examined her space, she was fairly organized, even with her large book collection.

She tossed her dress from the night before and fell back on her bed, “big difference from your minimalist place. Jealous?”

I approached her and swiftly lifted her leg to my chest. She was beaming red as I undid the strap of her heels.

“I like things more…” Her heel fell to the floor with a thud. “Naked.”

“Is that so?” Her eyes were sizing me up but I didn’t back down.

“Black and white,” I dropped the other. “It’s cleaner.”

I took her hands and pulled her towards my chest, “still hungry?”

“Very,” her eyes lowered. I rubbed my hand over the marks I’d left all over her neck. The reddish bruises turned me on as much as the scratches on my back. I wanted to make more marks on the both of us.

I smirked and tilted her lips to mine; fucking finally.

“Hikki?”

“Fucking hell,” I growled. She stiffened back a laugh put a finger to my lips.

“You awake?” I heard the inquiring voice of Kairi.

“Yeah,” she lied. “I’m coming out, hold on.”

The redhead focused back on me, “you have to go.”

Scowling, I agreed, “your mom’s waiting.”

She rolled her eyes, a small smile on her lips as a portal opened behind me. She stepped back from me as I backed into the portal. Her hands clasped behind her and she titled her head to the side, “you’ll come back when I need you?”

“Whenever you want me,” I replied.

“Good to know…”

“Vanitas.”

Her face scrunched before it settled in and the brightest of smiles spread to her face.

“I’ll see you soon, Vanitas.”


	14. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari is faced with confronting her friends over her sudden disappearance the night before.

Vanitas.

I rolled my eyes with a smile and grabbed Kairi’s heels. I couldn’t believe I’d managed to have so many firsts in one night. As embarrassed as I was, I was excited. I couldn’t remember everything, honestly the club had almost been a complete blur but what I could remember, at least better with his help, was my night with Vanitas.

Even though I was famished and my headache had only subsided slightly, being with him, especially like that made me smile. It was like anytime any shame crept up on me, the tingles of his hands on me distracted it.

The song from the night before rattled my brain as I walked to the living room humming along.

“ _My boyfriend’s pretty cool_ ,” I mused. “ _But he’s not as cool—_ “

My dorm was crowded with the entire gang from the night before, minus Namine and Axel. All their rounded eyes stared at me, leaving me feeling incredibly exposed.

“M-morning,”

“It’s the afternoon,” Roxas snapped.

I winced at the aggression in his tone. “Afternoon then,” I muttered. “Kairi, your shoes.”

She approached me from Sora’s side, taking the heels. “Thanks, but are— Hikari!”

I cringed at her squeal. I was still so sensitive to sound, “what? What’s wrong?”

She dropped the shoes and took her hands to my neck. “You’re covered in bruises!”

“What?” Xion practically leapt from our kitchen table and my roommates surrounded me. “They’re everywhere…” The two poked and prodded at me, tracing each mark with their fingers. My eyes avoided those of my male friends who I could feel search me. I was so stupid, completely forgetting about the marks mystery-boy had left on me. Seeing them in the mirror earlier with him behind me had given me so much courage. They were reminders, trophies really, of what I’d gotten into and when he stood by me, golden eyes circling each one, it turned me on.

“What happened, Hikari?” Sora asked, concern in his voice.

“Did someone hurt you?” Anger flashed onto Riku’s face.

“No, I—“

“These are bite marks,” the look on Xion face was a mix of terror and worry.

“Bite marks?” Ventus repeated.

“Who bit you, Hikari?” Roxas growled.

The front door opened and Axel strolled through casually with three boxes that judging by the smell had to be pizza. My mouth watered instantly when he saw me.

“Hey Hikki,” he grinned “You’re finally— what the hell happened?”

I pulled past Kairi and Xion. I’d never been so hungry in my entire life. My stomach was thrashing so much I thought I’d collapse. Xion pulled at my sleeve but I escaped her grasp and the sleeve of my shirt slipped down my shoulder, probably revealing more discolouration but their voices were so far away. I grabbed the first box from Axel’s hands and stepped into the kitchen. I dropped it on the counter and the smell of fresh dough, cheese, and pepperoni made my nostrils flare.

I dug my hands into a slice, aggressively chewing and moaning greedily with glazed over eyes. My head tilted back as the strings of cheese fell into my mouth. Was I still high or is this just what post-high hunger was like?

I grabbed another slice, chomping it down in big bites and reached for my third.

Suddenly, my wrist was squeezed and I was met with Roxas’ dark eyes. He dragged me behind him but with my free hand I grabbed the slice. He pulled me down the hall and threw me into my room. I landed on my bed but sat up and glared at him finishing my slice. Roxas locked my door before pulling the chair from my desk and sat directly in front of me.

“I’m going to ask you this once,” he had the nerve to command me. I only finished up the slice and licked my fingers, holding the same disdain towards him.

“What happened?”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” I had no idea where this attitude was coming from. I couldn’t even remember what we’d fought about in the alley but since he’d seen me, he’d been angry. “But I fell a couple times on my way home.”

“Bullshit!” He roared and was on his feet in an instant. I winced but felt my blood boil and rose as well.

“Bullshit?” I repeated. “How would you know!?”

“Because I’m not fucking blind,” he snarled. “Who. Bit. You.”

“Nobody!” I yelled back. “Nobody bit me. Why do you even care?”

“Is this about last night?” His face darkened.

“Last night?” I glowered. “I don’t even know what happened last night.”

His anger flinched, he was hurt. The reason why was beyond me. It didn’t last long as the fury was back in mere moments.

“You remember enough to be protecting someone.”

“Protecting?” I sneered. “I’m not protecting anyone! Why won’t you just believe me?”

“Because you’re lying to me!”

Was he really going to act all high and mighty over lying as if he was the patron saint of truth? Everybody lied, why was it so different when I did it? I owed him absolutely nothing.

With rage in my eyes, I got in his face. “And you don’t lie to me? You’ve never lied!?”

“Just tell me,” the words came from deep within him.

My lips twitched, my fists clenched.

“No.”

I couldn’t react before he pushed me on my own bed and climbed over me. My fists pounded on his chest, and I yelled for him to leave me alone but he was possessed and tore my shirt open. His face tensed but his eyes scanned my torso bewildered.

“Who did this to you?” His voice was far off and I swallowed back the tears I felt well in my eyes.

“Hikari,” his eyes looked to me horrified. “Who did this?”

I couldn’t stop the tears, nor could I explain them. I was overwhelmed with this amount of attention. I didn’t want to talk about it with anybody. I just wanted to be left alone, why couldn’t he just leave me alone? Why did he care so much?

He lifted the shirt to his face and sniffed it. Roxas shattered, breaking down when he realized the smell wasn’t mine.

“Get out,” I croaked.

“Did yo—“

“Get out!” I screamed. Whatever strength I’d been saving filled my fists because every strike I took to him pushed him further.

“This is what you want!?” The sympathy was gone from him now, back to anger.

“I want you out!” I pushed him to his feet and came to mine as well.

“You’re just going to let them keep hurting you?” His eyes filled with disgust which only enraged me further. “You’re weak!”

“Get out!” I reached for the book on my night stand and hauled it at him. He ducked but I’d only missed by an inch. The shock in his eyes only pushed me further. I grabbed a pillow from my bed and launched it, hitting his chest. It fell to the ground and he opened my door.

“We’re done!” He yelled. “Whatever was happening, it’s done!”

“It never started!” I followed him down the hall and back into the living room, another pillow in hand. How dare he? How dare he try and end whatever was happening because of how he felt? He didn’t get to come in and out of my life as he pleased because he had issues he clearly was avoiding resolving. “You never tried!”

“I never tried?” He yelled. “I never tried for you!? All I did was try! You didn’t want it to work. Say that, say it!”

“You didn’t try” I repeated with clenched teeth.

He stopped and forced himself to face me. Did he want a fight? I would fight. His breath was hot against my face as we glared one another down. His voice was low, deadly even but I’d meet him wherever he stood.

“Is that why you fucked somebody else?”

The words echoed in my ears and my entire body trembled.

It was in a flash when my hand met his face. The sound rung in the apartment, bouncing from all corners. Scars graced his cheek, deep and red, beginning to pool with blood.

I screeched and reached for him once more when I was pulled back.

“Hikari!” Sora pleaded as I fought in his grasp. “Enough! Let him go!”

“Fuck you, Roxas!” I howled, angry tears running down my face. His eyes were empty, too empty to even be cold, like he’d shut down. I on the other hand was a body bleeding hate.

“Fuck you!” I threw the pillow I’d been gripping but it missed him when he turned his back and left, slamming the door behind him.

I was shrieking, heaving, and feeling sick all over again. I twisted and turned in Sora’s arms, bending forward and bawling. He released me cautiously but before anyone could touch me I rose and stared at the front door.

He wasn’t coming back, he left.

I cupped my nose and my mouth in my hands, finding myself praying that he would come back. I was so angry but he couldn’t just say that to me and leave. I wouldn’t let him. I cried harder into the sleeves of my shirt stepping down the hall but the front door didn’t budge. I backed into my door but nothing.

I ran into my room and slammed the door, locking it instantly. I dropped to my knees, wailing as I crawled to the side of my bed closest to my window. Each cry came as a scream, like a wounded animal. I was hyperventilating, shaking on the floor. I dragged the comforter from my bed and threw it over my frame. I screamed into it, muffling the sound but it didn’t stop the crying.

—-

Barefooted, I stumbled through the halls of the school. I wasn’t sure when I’d passed out but when I woke up it was two in the morning and I couldn’t get myself back to sleep. I was hungry again and not wanting to wake up my roommates I’d snuck out to one of the vending machines. Now I was walking aimlessly in the worst of moods. I’d never been so angry in my life, not once. Who was he to think he had any right to judge me? And to talk like that about me in front of everyone? If Sora hadn’t held me back I genuinely had no idea what I may have done.

“I’m gonna take this one.”

I shot my head to the direction of the voice. That had to be the night patrol. In the empty halls there was no where to hide. Remembering I’d passed the library, I ran back to the double doors as quietly as I could. I held my hand over my mouth, slid by the doors and prayed they were open.

I grinned when I gently pushed them forward and crept inside. I pushed the door closed and ran to the nearest staircase, even if the guard did come in, at least they wouldn’t find me downstairs. The moment I reached the top I fell to my knees to catch my breath. My body was still aching from, well, everything. Gingerly, I found my balance on my feet and made way to the balcony. I let out a sigh of relief to find the key still in the plotted plant and decide that the rooftop would the best place to spend my time.

The night was still thick with fog due to the on again off again rain. Even now, there was a light drizzle. Still, it was peaceful out here, murky and a little terrifying with the edge of the building hiding behind fog but peaceful nonetheless.

Even though I was livid with today’s drama, I was more hurt. I had no idea just why he was so angry with me but for him to say what he did aggravated me even more. The disgust and judgement in his voice had thrown me for a loop and even remembering Vanitas’ warm hands on me felt tainted. It hurt to know that anybody thought of me like that, nevertheless him.

There was a weight in my palm and I knew Halcyon had made it’s appearance. I hadn’t called on it but here it was. I held my keyblade forward, while it was out here I may as well put it to good use.

—

I was pushing myself so hard in training. Since that Saturday night all I’d done was fight. I was actually enjoying it, just throwing myself into my work. It kept everybody out of my hair and I didn’t have to waste time talking about things I didn’t feel the need to talk about. Mari had called me a few times, demanding answers after Kairi had spilled the beans about my marks but I’d managed to convince her they were just battle scars. My friends on the other hand definitely didn’t believe me but the discussion hadn’t come up since everything went down.

A week had passed and I’d behaved as if nothing happened. Been the same kind-hearted, smiling, and shy Hikari. I delved myself into my roommates relationship drama when I saw them but kept to myself for the most part. At lunch I’d grab something quick and head back to my dorm to do homework, I refused to be anywhere near Roxas if I had a choice. The only time we were forced to be around each other was in Worlds History and he’d skipped the first two days and when he did show up we just didn’t interact at all. I refused to look at him or even pretend he existed but on the rare chance I saw him in passing I did notice he hadn’t cured the scars I gave him and was letting them heal on their own. They were faded by the time I saw them but the scratches were there nonetheless. Did he keep them to make me feel guilty? I wasn’t sure and frankly, I didn’t care because I refused to feel bad. It’s what he deserved.

I shook my head, I had to focus back on nailing this spell. It was a rainy evening and I was back at the clearing, deep inside the forest near my dorm. The rain wasn’t bad enough for me to avoid my training, besides, there was a spell I really needed to get down. I’d picked up my basic move set and even Aqua had said I was tackling magic pretty well during one of our classes.

I’d been preoccupied with the idea of duplicating Halcyon like how I’d seen in Master Yen Sid’s book. Unfortunately for me there were no instructions on how to start. I’d gotten as far as levitating my keyblade but the moment I went to separate it, it disintegrated.

“This is impossible,” I groaned, shoving the head of my keyblade in the ground and leaning over it. Maybe I should have just stuck to the basic spells for now because I was totally out of my league here.

My mind couldn’t help but think back to my training with Roxas but I refused to even acknowledge the idea apologizing, forget asking for help.

“Quitting already?”

I knew that voice.

“Vanitas?”

I heard his steps mush against the wet grass from behind me.

“In the flesh.”

I glanced back and saw the rogue in his usual all black attire, torn jeans, combat books, and his leather jacket but with a dark red hoodie under. I felt so exposed and under dressed in my dark purple, cropped sweatshirt and black sweats. My hair was in a ponytail as it usually was when I was training and I didn’t have an ounce of makeup on. This was the first time I’d seen him since that Friday and as embarrassing as it may have been to admit, I didn’t want him to see me like this, so plain and disorderly. He stared at me with his arms crossed and his signature nerve-racking smile.

We hadn’t spoken since _that_ night either, not like I could reach him even if I wanted to. In all truth I hadn’t really spoken to anybody. My phone stayed behind in my room most days and I refused to go on social media. I just needed to disconnect for a while. I didn’t know what he thought or how he felt about me at this moment in time or what to say. I hated him seeing me vulnerable, not like I’d been that night.

I wasn’t sure of how to greet him after what had happened. Should I hug him? Shake his hand? Maybe… kiss him? I could feel the warmth spread upon my face at that thought. Kissing him again wasn’t something I was opposed to but I definitely wouldn’t make the first move.

“What brings you here?” My voice was shaky and judging by his expression he knew and was enjoying it.

“Felt like you were having some trouble,” his hoodie sat halfway on his head, I tried to focus on it as to not get distracted by that sultry look he was giving me. “So here I am.”

My eyes moved to the trees behind him, I couldn’t meet his eye, I just couldn’t. But, I was in dire need of some help with this. It was just a bit of training, as long as I setup some boundaries, I’d be okay.

“You’re right,” I mumbled and gave him my full attention. “Just talk me through it.”

“Talk?” He approached me. “All you want to do is talk?”

“V-Vanitas…” He stood before me, hands in his pockets and leaning forward.

“You don’t want me to touch you Hikari?”

I couldn’t speak as I felt him sizing me up. I was trembling with excitement. All he had to do was get close to me again and sober me was reduced to a pawn. Since it happened, it kept me up at night. I’d spend hours debating with myself, saying it’s wrong to think like this especially about a perfect stranger but then the most carnal parts of myself would show me flashbacks of our kisses and how close we’d gotten. The worst was when I was changing. Whenever I looked at those now fading bruises on my skin all I wanted was to find him and beg him to make more.

“I-it’s easier…” I lied. “Better to just watch… and talk.”

“Hm,” he licked his lips and my knees grew weaker. “You’re probably right.”

I let out a sigh of relief, it wasn’t much but as long as he didn’t touch me or get too close I may have been able to learn something.

“Besides, the moment I get my hands on a good girl like you, who knows what I’ll do.”

My keyblade hit the floor with a muddy thud. Now he was just trying to get me worked up. I wrapped my arms around myself and kept my eyes to the ground. If he wanted to play this then I would beat him.

“Is that what you want?” I asked, meek. “To put your hands on me?”

“I already did,” I could just hear his smirk as he circled me. “Remember?”

Scratch that, I’d already lost. I couldn’t even look at him with how red my face was.

“I touched you here,” he walked around me and I peeked to see his eyes studying each and every part of my body. “And here, and here, and here…” He was so casual as his fingers teetered on the edge of touching my body. He stopped the moment he was in front of me and just from his presence it was as if he forced me to look up at him. His breath was against my lips and his eyes read every dirty thought in my mind.

“And here,” he whispered in reference to my mouth. “You loved it most when I touched you here.”

I was breathless once again, his bad boy demeanour with its evil smile owned me.

“Do you want…” I couldn’t stop myself, my voice high and innocent, lost in arousal. “Do you want to touch me again?”

The question came out less as an inquiry and more as a demand and he knew it. He licked his lips, positioning himself to kiss me once again. I was ready, I was ready to fall into his arms, taste every part of him and lose myself.

“Maybe later, little light.”

Vanitas pulled back to his original spot, “grab your keyblade.” He said so plainly. “We’ve got some training to do.”

I was shocked. Although I’d never tell him, his level of self-control was something I was coming to admire. I shook away those memories from his loft, I had to focus.

He smiled, a hint of malice in his eyes.

“I’m gonna teach you something that’s really gonna scare them.”


	15. Vex & Hail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari meets up with Vanitas and is determined to learn all she can about him and his intentions.

I felt a sharp pain in the base of my neck. I cringed at the dull sensation and rubbed the pressure point gingerly. As quickly as it came it vanished and I dismissed the feeling to nerves. With that, I focused back on my image in my mirror.

Was this dress too short? It was only a little longer than the last one Vanitas had seen me in. I yanked at the long sleeves, trying to keep it off my shoulders and the ruffles clean. The fabric was a ruched rose print which all though tight was a lot more breathable than the last time I’d gone out. Turning in the full length mirror I checked for scuff marks on my black sneakers. Everything looked okay, even the curls I’d spent hours on prior to in my hair. I pulled it all over to one side but immediately got flashbacks to Namine and placed it behind me.

I was surprised to see she had messaged me a week or so after the party to check in. I didn’t know how to take it and just lied and said I was doing great. It wasn’t that I wasn’t I just didn’t want to give her any details. I still wasn’t too sure what happened that night and refused to find answers after the whole blow up with Roxas. He was being a brat and I refused to stand for it.

I looked at my makeup once more before picking up the small black purse I’d bought earlier that week. I felt stupid going shopping for what may or may not have been a date but I justified it as just being prepared.

When mystery-boy had showed up to one of my private trainings earlier that week and asked me to meet up this Thursday night I had been incredibly suspicious. As usual, he was vague as hell and wouldn’t tell me why, where, or what we were doing; just to be at the lake by 7PM. I’d accepted, not like he’d given me much of a choice but during our training, he’d kept his distance and had really helped me figure out some new spells so I took it as a way of thanking him.

I pulled out my gummiphone from the bag: 7:10PM. Damn, I was late. I grabbed the gold chain of my purse, popped a mint and ran out my door.

“Where are you off to so late?”

Kairi and Xion sat on the couch of our living room with quizzical stares and a bowl of freshly popped popcorn between them.

“N-no where,” I choked. “Just gonna explore the city a bit.”

“Sounds fun,” Xion’s eyes alone said she didn’t believe me. “That’s quite the outfit just to explore.”

“Make up too,” Kairi observed with smirk.

“No,” I chuckled nervously. “This old thing? Pfft, no… is it?”

“How about we join you?” Xion grinned turning to Kairi.

“Absolutely,” the redhead beamed. “We could have a girls’ night, it’ll be fun.”

“No, no,” my palms began to sweat. I thought they’d be out with their boyfriends like every night, while almost-boyfriend in Xion’s case.

“How come?” They smiled at me knowing exactly the corner they’d forced me into. I had no option but to tell them some version of the truth now.

“I-I’m… I kind of have plans with someone already.”

“Like a date?” Kairi cupped her face in her hands. “You can tell us Hikki.”

“We’re supposed to be friends,” the raven haired girl added.

“It’s not a date,” I responded far too quickly. “I mean, he never said it was… We’re just going to hang out.”

“Where?” Xion pestered just as Kairi questioned, “who?”

“I don’t know where,” I explained. “And it’s just this guy I met at Nightingale.”

“The one you left with?” Xion didn’t give me the chance to come up with another lie. “After that fight it was clear something happened.”

The skin of my face tightened, the last thingI needed to think about was that fight right now.

“I’m running late,” I muttered. “Can we talk about this later?”

Kairi sighed, “fine, just make sure you send us your location okay?”

“You can trust us Hikki,” Xion grabbed a handful of popcorn. “We know how to keep secrets, you know.”

My cheeks flushed. I knew it had been wrong to distance myself, even with Mari. With everything that had happened I was feeling so sensitive towards sharing any kind of information with my friends. I’d opened up to Roxas and look how that had turned out.

“Just make sure to let us know where you are,” Kairi spoke as I walked to our main door. “We can talk about it when you get back.”

Quickly, I nodded and left our apartment. I was already late and the idea of telling my friends about Vanitas was not helping my nerves whatsoever.

—-

As I approached the lake I was happy to see we were finally getting a break from the constant rainy weather we’d been getting lately. There was just enough sun out in this cloudy weather for me not to get too cold or too hot. I could already see the tall, athletic boy leaning against the picnic table I used to spend my lunches on. I hadn’t even reached him and my stomach was already doing flips.

“Sorry I’m late!” I hurried over, clutching on to my purse. As usual, he was in a pair of jeans, this time grey and ripped at the knees and a pair of black boots. I was surprised to see him in a black turtleneck sweater with a light trench coat of the same colour. Hanging from his neck was a thick silver chain and a simpler one with a strange emblem that sort of resembled a heart. Another change was the folded black beanie on his head. I was genuinely surprised he’d manage to fit his spiky hair so neatly in there. All together, he looked sharp, so much more put together than his usual bad boy uniform of ripped jeans, hoodies, and leather jackets.

“15 minutes,” he pulled himself from the table. “I thought you chickened out, bulb.”

My lips frowned at the sound of that god-awful nickname.

“I hate it when you call me that.” He smirked and shrugged.

“Little light it is, then.”

I blushed but crossed my arms, “why would I chicken out?”

“Cause this is your first date, right?”

My jaw clenched just as he laughed. So this really was a date? My anxiety kicked in as I pondered over how to behave and my outfit choice. I should have just told the girls about this, they would know what to do.

“You coming?”

I snapped myself out of my thoughts to see him already heading to the forest.

“Y-yeah!”

I guess I would have to figure it out on my own.

—

Another ride on his bike and I was still fearful for my life the entire time. I tried to keep it calm but I knew he knew I was scared when I felt him grab my hand at each stop. I hoped he believed I was just nervous about the ride and not the fact that he’d just sprung his true intentions on me. When we parked in the city he had me blabbering about school for what felt like an eternity before we stopped at a building with a glass store front.

“What are we doing here?” I peered in and only saw a bunch of adults staring and critiquing a bunch of paintings. It didn’t seem to be an open museum, possibly a private showing maybe.

“Fuckery,” he answered simply and practically pushed me inside. Right at the door we were faced with a short man who couldn’t have been much older than me. He stood at the entrance looking over a clipboard frantically. Vanitas wrapped his arm around my waist and guided me past a bunch of potted plants to the nervous man.

“Evening sir,” the tubby violet-haired man greeted us. “Welcome to Oceans Apart, a showing of works from the Seashore Collective. Name?”

“Vex and Hail Highborn of the Orenda Artists Watch,” he lied so carelessly. The man frantically turned the pages of his list and as expected, those names were no where to be found.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered as his eyes searched. “But I can’t seem to find you here.”

The corners of Vanitas’ mouth dropped, “is that so?”

The sudden shift into dryness shook the man as he gazed up to his cold glare.

“S-sorry,” the man repeated. “I can check with—“

“Don’t bother,” although his voice was still frigid, that devilish smile was on his lips. “I’ll have no choice but to retract my funding from the Seashore Collective at this rate. I’m sorry Hail but I can’t back 77% of the funding for a collective that couldn’t even bother to put us on their list.”

“77%?” The doorman squeaked. He paled instantly, terrified of what he believe he’d just done. I was so stunned to see how easily Vanitas had him believing his lies that even I was beginning to wonder if maybe there was some truth to it.

“I-it must be a clerical error Mr. Highborn!” He chimed quickly and scribbled on his clipboard. “I’m so sorry for the confusion, please, head right in!”

“Oh, well then…” Vanitas leaned into the man, causing him to step back and bump into one of the potted plants. “If it’s just a clerical error I suppose we could let this slide. Would you like that Hail?”

It took me a moment before I realized I was being called upon to his lies. My face twisted to one of discomfort but seeing the man simpering to Vanitas’ will and the raven-haired boy’s challenging smile I simply nodded enthusiastically.

“S-sounds good,” I squeaked.

The man let out a sigh of relief and gestured towards the inner glass door leading to the gallery.

“Thank you for your help…” Vanitas replied as we passed.

“Matias,” the flustered man answered.

“Matias…” Vanitas examined him once more. “I’ll remember that.”

He hooked my arm around his, leaving the doorman in a state of fear and confusion. Once inside I immediately scolded him.

“You’re such an asshole,” I whispered as we passed actual buyers. “He’s probably an intern.”

“An intern who almost let the largest investors of the Seashore Collective walk out,” he mused as cooly as usual. “Good thing you decided to stay Hail.”

Before I could berate him again we were interrupted by a waiter offering champagne. Vanitas didn’t even wait for me to answer before handing me a slender glass and taking one for himself.

“I can’t drink,” I reminded him quietly.

“You shouldn’t,” Vanitas shrugged as we approached one of the many paintings. “But Hail Highborn loves pricey champagne, almost as much as she loves caviar and boat rides on one of her six private yachts.”

I couldn’t help but snigger at the silly story he’d come up with. Vanitas always played everything so cool, calm, and collected. Maybe for once I could try and keep up. There was no harm in a little lying to perfect strangers. We wouldn’t be here long anyway and with him by my side I felt I could fall into this crazy fantasy. The whole thing was absurd but maybe I needed a little bit of absurdity to get me through what was bound to be a strange night.

“Make that seven,” I sipped at the bubbly beverage and was pleasantly surprised at it’s sweet taste. “My birthday’s coming up and I can’t think of a gift better than another boat.”

“Another one?” He cocked a brow with a challenging smile. “You think too small Hail. I was thinking an island.”

“My first island?” I batted my lashes. “Really? For me?”

He released my arm and cupped my chin, “anything for you.”

The night went on like that for sometime, browsing artwork that Vanitas weirdly enough hated all of. When we weren’t mocking the bourgeoisie I was reminding him how much all the art here looked like the stuff that hung on his walls. Whenever we were approached he continued to impress me with all the lies who could spin so quickly. Nothing could shake him. I barely managed to keep up but he was quick to pick up wherever I trailed off. We looked like a couple too. He’d had his hands on me the whole night; either around my waist or hooked with my arm. Occasionally, I’d catch him staring at me with a careless smile that made me blush too hard but I liked having his attention. Others there would eye him, particularly other girls probably older than me but he didn’t take notice of any of them. Once or twice some would approach and he’d dig his lips in my hair and caress my lower back, either claiming me or scaring them off. Could have been both. But those touches were my favourite. It was the closest we’d gotten to intimate since his loft.

“All of those painting were so cheesy,” Vanitas argued as we left the building. “Looked like the shit you see at the dentist.”

“Like yours,” I teased, my arm still loosely wrapped around his. “Just admit it, you liked the stuff in there. It’s totally up your alley.”

“Wrong,” he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “But you can spend the night again if you need a reminder.”

I knew he was watching me turn scarlet the moment he chuckled, clearly pleased with himself for embarrassing me.

Changing the subject I asked, “what’s next?”

“You hungry?”

I nodded. Although they did have snacks at the showing, rich people’s versions of cheese and crackers would never be able to fill me up.

“There’s this place nearby that makes some killer ramen, you down?”

I bobbed my head once more and we headed down the busy street to the quaint restaurant he’d been bragging about during our entire walk. It was a cute little spot, not too many seats and almost dead when we got there. The restaurant was dimly lit with low hanging lights over a few tables but mostly at the open kitchen with the chefs. There was a small bar across from it with stools with red cushioned seats that matched the dark, black wood tables and cushioned chairs. I could see some art hanging on the walls, far more graphic with colourful characters and imagery than the work we’d come across earlier.

Vanitas explained we could just seat ourselves and right when he found us a table in the darkest corner my phone began to vibrate. I groaned as I pulled it out and saw both Xion and Kairi messaging me about where I’d been.

“What’s this place called?” I questioned Vanitas as I told them I was alright.

“Solo Mio,” Vanitas answered from behind his menu. “Hope your moms aren’t having a panic attack.”

“Ha-ha,” I rolled my eyes as I finished texting them back before picking up my own menu. ‘So what are you getting?”

“Probably the spicy chicken tonkotsu,” he set his menu down. “You?”

“Hmm…” I flipped through the little book before finally settling. “Yakisoba, I think. Definitely with chicken and shrimp though.”

“Good girl,” he whispered and my cheeks flushed. I watched him press a small button on the table before a slim brunette approached us and took our orders. She was quick to jot down it down just as quickly as Vanitas ordered. I remembered once Mari saying that it was good if a guy ordered for you, it meant he took initiative or something. I’d never thought much about it, only saying it’s probably just a tactic to get in your pants but now I couldn’t help but wonder.

I really didn’t know much about mystery-boy and as much as I enjoyed hanging out with him and tagging along for his schemes, I still had questions about him; his name wasn’t enough.

“How long have you been in Orenda?” I asked, sipping a glass of water the waitress had brought.

“Long enough,” he scoffed. “I moved here for work.”

“What kind of work?”

He flipped through the drink menu next to the wasabi and soy sauce placed on our table.

“You down for sake?”

My lips twisted into a frown, “why are you trying to change the subject?”

“I’m not,” he pressed the button once more. “I just work here. It’s nothing exciting.”

“What kind of work, Vanitas?” I repeated my question, sternly.

“National security,” he smiled with a cocked brow. I glared at him but he wouldn’t elaborate any further. I decided not to press on as the waitress approached. I was beginning to worry a bit about my drinking, I’d only had one glass earlier and was feeling fine but didn’t want to rock the boat. Any time I saw liquor I couldn’t help but think about my fight with Roxas but shook it off quickly. He was at fault, not me. When the waitress returned with a large lime green bottle and two glasses, I only let her fill up my cup half way.

I was surprised we didn’t get ID’ed. It felt like with Vanitas, no matter what he said or did, everyone just believed him. He had to be older than me but not by much and he didn’t look it. It was the air of confidence he carried, this idea that with or without you he could manage perfectly fine all on his own.

“How old are you?” I questioned suddenly.

“Why? You checking IDs?”

“Vanitas…”

“19,” he answered with a roll of his eyes. “You’re 17, right?”

I nodded, surprised again that he just had this information about me on hand. Still, our ages weren’t too off. A two year difference wasn’t too bad. That was normal, right?

“Little Hikki’s only 17,” He chuckled. “With a body like that you had me fooled.”

“You’re the worst,” I muttered as my cheeks flushed. Damnit, so much for playing the game of an adult.

“Kanpai,” he smirked as he cooly took his drink down. I took a swig of the mildly sweet drink, savouring it’s tangy after taste. I was surprised to enjoy it as much as I did.

Soon enough, the waitress arrived with our meals and a mix of hot spices and flavours filled our little corner of the restaurant.

“Don’t eat yet,” I pulled out my phone and clicked to my camera. “I wanna post this to my _Kingstagram_.”

“Really?” Vanitas frowned.

Adjusting the camera to frame the perfect shot I replied, “yes, memories!”

He rolled his eyes with a lopsided smile, “just don’t get my face in it.”

My eyes flickered to his, “why?”

He only smirked, “national security, remember?”

His voice reeked of sarcasm causing me to glare but I took the shot. His hand was spooning the bowl in the colourful photo but there was nothing distinct about him in the picture. Quickly, I posted it and focused back on the meal in front of me.

“So how come you weren’t recruited to join the bastille?” I asked digging into my noodles. “You have a keyblade, why aren’t you fighting the good fight?”

Now he sensed the sarcasm in my voice and guffawed, “it’s beneath me. Besides, what I do is far more important in regards to this war we’re all supposed to be preparing for.”

“They don’t even have any information yet,” I replied. “I feel like we’re all just stuck waiting.”

“Yeah and that’s the worst part, just waiting for something to happen so we can react.”

“It’s good I guess,” I shrugged, listening to the soft guitar that strung through the restaurant’s stereo system. “We get to help people. I’ve even got my first exam on tomorrow to see if I’m ready to go on missions.”

“Really?” He picked at the egg in his raman. “They grow up so fast.”

“Whatever,” I chuckled. “I’m a little nervous though. We don’t know who we’ll be fighting. The masters say the system chooses at random and even though I’ve been putting in all this training I don’t know what to expect. On top of that I’ll finally have my battle wear which is a whole new experience in itself.”

“You’ll do fine,” Vanitas responded. “I’ve shown you a few tricks and if you use them correctly, you shouldn’t be put in a place to have to worry about close combat.”

I nodded slowly but I was still on the fence. The majority of my fighting style was beginning to rely heavily on tricks and long range attacks. I knew it wasn’t the wisest method but with a weapon like Halcyon, I barely trusted it as is. Keeping things far away gave my keyblade less of a chance to betray me in battle.

“Besides…” His eyes met mine from across the table. “I’m sure you’ll look just as cute in your gear as you do right now.”

I could barely look his way, “cute, huh?”

“Different from last time,” he quipped. “But just as cute.”

I bit into my spicy noodles, losing my head in the aroma and the few sips of alcohol I’d had. He was just trying to embarrass me as usual whenever he complimented me.

“I mean my favourite version of you is the one without any clothes on though so…”

“Vanitas!” I nudged his foot from under the table releasing a snicker from him.

“Would you prefer I lie?” He leaned forward, opening his palm for mine. I took his hand gingerly but watched him suspiciously.

“I think about you,” he admitted as he rubbed his thumb against the back of my hand. “I think about you enough to know my favourite parts of you inside… outside.”

“Favourite parts?”

“I’ll tell you them sometime,” he whispered. “Show you as well.”

I kicked him again while he laughed at my ever reddening face.

“Anyway,” I quickly changed the subject to one I’d been waiting for just the right moment to ask. “Vanitas, why and how did you find me? And how do you know so much about me and Halcyon?”

His eyes flickered to mine, startling me. “I was wondering when you’d ask that. Thought maybe you were so into me you’d forgotten.”

Kissing my teeth, my eyes rolled, “you wish.”

“Don’t be so sure,” he replied. “Well little light, let’s just say I’ve been studying Halcyon for a long time now and leave it at that.”

“Van—“

“No Hikari,” his voice was stern but his aloof demeanour remained. “This is just one of those things you’re gonna have to be okay with me holding back from you.”

Well that wasn’t a good enough answer. And now I was even more suspicious of his intentions. Was this all about my keyblade? Why was it all so important?

“So is you talking to me just about Halcyon?”

“Never,” Vanitas took sip of his drink, golden eyes penetrating right through me. “Halcyon’s for work Hikari. You’re for pleasure.”

Instantly, I felt goosebumps rise and butterflies twirl in my stomach. I stared back at him wide-eyed and lips parted, stunned by his response. Vanitas, the cheeky bastard, only laughed in response.

As dinner went on we found ourselves just talking mindlessly. I was still nervous through out but he cooled it down on the compliments and by the time we left dinner and drove to our final destination I was excited to be approaching the balcony of the Orenda Planetarium. He’d been a lot more sweet than he’d ever let on, paying for our meal and giving me his coat to stay warm. We’d still barely touched but I was grateful for the bit of distance. It was a cool night, brimming with stars when we approached one the many telescopes bolted to the ground. He tossed a few coins in as he pointed out different worlds and stars to me which when I asked how he knew he only would tell me that he travelled a lot.

“So then where are you from?” I crossed my arms stepping away from the device.

“Around,” he peeked through the scope. “Somewhere out there.”

“If you aren’t going to tell me anything about you then why take me out?” I frowned. “Halcyon; I’m willing to be patient. If it’s a _national security_ thing then fine. But you don’t get to hold back on you Vanitas. It’s not fair.” He still wasn’t looking at me until I yanked on the sleeve of his shirt. “Vanitas.”

He sighed, “Hikari.”

“Stop keeping me in the dark,” I demanded. He pulled away from the telescope and over to me. Taking my hand he led me gently to a nearby bench and urged me to sit down next to him. I followed but kept my arms crossed and eyes vigilant.

“I’ve got a complicated history,” he breathed. “I was… _born_ in a graveyard.”

My eyes widened and jaw dropped. Here I’d been pushing and pushing only to find out something so tragic. No wonder he was so standoffish. Why wouldn’t he be with a past like that? I clasped his hand into both of mine and looked to the raven-haired boy empathetically.

“I’m really sorry.”

He shrugged but even he couldn’t keep up his blasé demeanour.

“Had a master I studied under,” he continued. “But he’s long gone.”

“So it’s just you?”

Nodding, he said, “I mean it’s not like we were particularly close or anything. I couldn’t stand the guy but he was the only one I had.”

I caressed his hand slowly to my chest. Complete apathy was worse than pain and I worried that was where he was on the subject.

His lips curled to a smile as he gazed to the skies, “I have brothers though.”

“Brothers?” I repeated. Well, at least he had some kind of connection to someone, besides Yuna of course.

“Three actually,” he replied. “We don’t get along.”

There went that. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay,” he pulled his hand from mine and brought it to my chin. “Hearing about your adventures with your roommates makes me glad to live alone.”

Chuckling, I said, “it’s not always bad.”

“But it sure as hell ain’t good,” he chortled. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you checking in.”

“They’re just being good roommates.”

“Not friends?”

“No, we’re friends,” I answered, honestly. “The three of us, we’ve actually become pretty close pretty fast. It makes me feel so guilty for keeping you a secret.”

“I’m a secret?” He sneered.

I rolled my eyes playfully, there was that snide Vanitas again.

“You told me to keep our meetings to myself.”

“That I did.”

“Plus I’ve never done this before and I don’t want to put it all out there. Besides, they can be really overbearing.”

“It’s better this way,” he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me onto his lap. I blushed immediately, looking for any wandering eyes around us. Luckily, we were the only two out on the patio, radiating under the bright light of the moon.

“It means I get to have a part of you all to myself,” he continued. “A part that nobody can see except me.”

I clasped my hands to my chest and gazed into his eyes. He seemed so sincere in his aloof grin. It was exciting to think there was a piece of me I was giving to him. Whatever this was had started out so scary and there was still so much I didn’t know about him. It wasn’t even like it was possible to know if this was a good idea, there was no way to be cautious. Still, I was happy where I was, feeling his skin on mine.

“I’ve been wanting to touch you like this all night,” he whispered. “I wanted you to make the first move but it looks like you’ve got a lot more self-restraint than I thought.”

Giggling, I told him, “well I’ve been practicing. It’s like with all my training I’ve just had the chance to reevaluate somethings.”

“Like what?”

“Nothing important,” I felt his hand rub against my bare thigh. “Some stuff went down when I got back from your place…”

“What stuff?” His voice changed to that of agitation. I knew immediately I couldn’t spill all the details. The last thing I wanted was a fight.

“Just my friends being worried about me,” it wasn’t exactly a lie. “I needed to get some space, that’s why I’ve been training so hard.”

“So everything’s okay then?”

“Yeah…”

“Hikari.”

I groaned, “I got into an argument with one of them really bad. He and I haven’t spoken since.”

“Over what?”

“Kind of, well…” I peeked at him from behind my long lashes. “You.”

His eyes narrowed, “he’s jealous.”

“N-no,” I replied. I wasn’t sure if it was a question but there was absolutely no way. Eventually we’d have to talk it out and I’d have to figure out just what I did to set him off but whatever it was I had my doubts that it had anything to do with jealousy.

“Oh, Hikari,” he caressed my jaw and drew us close together. I could smell the minty gum I’d offered him after dinner and hoped the two pieces I’d munched on had my breath smelling just as fresh.

“You don’t even know,” his thumb rubbed gently over my lower lip. “You’re clueless.”

“No, I just don’t think he has anything to be jealous about.”

Vanitas chuckled darkly, “I can think of a few things.”

I opened my mouth to rebut but found his lips on mine instead. His kiss was tender but his hands were firm on my hips. I placed my hands on his chest when I felt him pull me over both his legs, kneeling on him.

His kiss grew rougher as his tongue parted my lips and forced his way inside. I moaned against him, tying my arms behind his neck. There it was, the aggression in each kiss which made me feel so small I may just disappear. His coat slipped from my shoulder just as he squeezed my ass.

“It’s been three weeks since I had you like this,” he whispered upon my lips. “You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted it.”

“Me too,” I found myself admitting. “I just thought—“

“You do too much of that.”

He lips engulfed mine once again as I began to gently rock my hips into him. I gripped the back of his neck for stability as he deepened our kiss. The softness of his lips was always in competition with his vicious mouth. He ripped those lips away from mine and bit down hard on my neck. My eyes rolled back as I bit down on my finger to hold back from screaming. The pressure could only be soothed by his tongue as the pattern began again of love bites all over my neck and chest mixed with kisses galore.

I should have stopped him, I thought in my haze of pleasure and pain. After the last time and all the trouble his bruises caused me I should have put an end to this but there was something so arousing about it all. I thought feeling it again I’d come to the realization that stuff like this wasn’t for me but with my back arched and stomach turning I was just as enthralled as before.

His hand crawled up my arm and yanked my blemished finger from my teeth. I watched him tenderly lick at the indents before kissing each digits.

“It’s not fun when you aren’t begging.”

He gripped my wrists from behind me and went straight for the jugular. My voice burst into the night, moans escaping my throat. I tried to hold back but the moment he suckled hard on my flesh I’d lost. I panted hard against him and in the mist of the darkness tried to focus on something to calm myself down.

I felt his grasp loosen before one hand held me up and the other pulled down on my hair. He was all over my collarbone as I wheezed his name into to the air. I never wanted it to stop, this high, this pressure; I wanted it to go on forever.

His tongue slid up my cleavage while he brought me in closer once again and finally kissed my mouth. I caressed his jaw growing greedier with each moment.

Vanitas’ lips parted from mine, “let me take you home.”

My face burned, the moment I’d been dreading. I wanted that, to be back at his place, taking this further once again, maybe even to it’s natural conclusion. But I just couldn’t, something about it felt wrong. A part of me needed to know that if he actually wanted to spend time with me it was because of who I really was. The other part was just scared of the idea of finally sleeping with him. Would it be too soon? I wasn’t even prepared for it. Hell, I had barely been prepared for this. Going this far with making out was already too much, what if he thought I was easy? I wanted to take things slow, ease my way into reaching that level of intimacy with him again.

“Actually, Vanitas,” I mumbled. “I think we should take our time before doing… that.”

His brow raised and his eyes squinted before twisting into a laugh, “home as in your dorm, perv.”

My face flushed as I beat on his chest before leaping off his lap.

“You’re the pervert!”

He grabbed my wrists and spun me into his chest with just the two of us standing alone on the patio. Our eyes were watching each other when he smiled, kinder than usual which made the corners of my own mouth turn upwards.

“When I want you in my bed again,” he hands slipped low on my back, teetering just above my behind. “There won’t be any confusion.”

His lips came over mine yet again.

—-

My fingers reached for the collar of his coat.

“Keep it,” Vanitas placed his hand over mine. “Give it back when you spend the night.”

There he went, making me bashful again. On the ride back to my dorm he’d still let me borrow his coat to keep warm and that it had. I hadn’t expected to be out until almost midnight otherwise I would have come better prepared.

“I’m going to end up with your whole wardrobe if you keep this up.”

“It’s yours,” he smirked and cupped my chin. He sat lazily on his bike, helmet in his lap at the entrance of my dorm. A welcome change to his usual sneaking about, I’m sure. Still, we had to be careful, he definitely shouldn’t have been here this late and we were risking being spotted.

“Is there anything you won’t give me?” I teased and wrapped my arms around his neck. “And don’t say some bullshit like ‘my heart’.”

He chuckled darkly and led me into another kiss.

“I can’t give you something I don’t have.”

Our connected like magnets. I found myself smiling against him, unwilling to let go even if we were to get caught.

“So, was it a success?” He whispered, keeping us only inches apart. “Your first _date_?”

“A success?” I showed him a lopsided grin. “I couldn’t say all that. I mean you did lie our way into an art show.”

“I’m sure the Seahorse Collective will be grateful for the extra bodies.”

“Sea _shore_ ,” I corrected.

“Who _cares_?” He mocked and pecked my lips as I chuckled against him.

“You should go,” it really was late and the higher the chance of us losing ourselves in one another, the greater the chance of being found out by the night guards.

He nodded, “I should but here I am.”

“You’re an idiot,” I laughed. “Smooth but still an idiot.”

I heard him laugh along before lowering his eyes and studying me. I gnawed at my lower lip as he searched for something on my face, only god knew what.

“I had fun,” he finally whispered. “With you, I mean.”

Agreeing I tucked away a loose hair from his beanie, “me too… with you.”

He held a look that brought me comfort, lowered eyes, parted lips and a smile of perked interest.

“I want to see you again,” he licked his lips and I shivered. “Can I, Hikari?”

“Yes,” I breathed. “Soon, Vanitas.”

That smile faded from view as he placed a delicate kiss on my lips one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello reader(s)!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Please Read, Review, Follow! All forms of criticism are welcome.


	16. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been about three weeks since Roxas and Hikari have said a word to one another. Roxas is putting up with it as best as he can but between his friends, rumours on base, and classes he's finds himself struggling to keep it together.

ROXAS

“You can’t just keep avoiding her.”

It had been almost three weeks since my fight with Hikari and with Kairi talking about wanting to go all out for Halloween later this month I was feeling nauseous.

I frowned at Sora as he tapped away at his phone. Since he and Kairi had become official if he wasn’t talking to her face-to-face he was surely texting her. I found it incredibly annoying but couldn’t help but wonder if I’d been like that just a few months ago with Namine or weeks ago with Hikari.

We were lounging in the living room of our apartment. With enough whining we’d managed to get the only room for five in our entire dorm. When we’d got it, immediately we’d jumped into making it a bachelor’s paradise with all the grey, dark blue, and black furniture we could find and an entertainment system we’d all had to pitch five hundred bucks into. It had definitely been worth it though as on the off chances we weren’t being hammered down by school or work we spent our days kicking each other’s asses in video games.

“He’s right,” Riku added from our kitchen. I rolled my eyes, he wasn’t any better with Xion. He might have been able to keep it cool in front of Sora but I could see the joy in his eyes whenever her name flashed upon his phone screen.

I grumbled and sunk deeper into the navy blue couch of our living room. The last thing I needed was a lecture from either of them. I pulled the party size bag of chips I’d stolen from Sora’s lap closer to my face, practically hiding.

“Where’s Axel?” I groused. Another idiot who hadn’t texted me back when I demanded to hang out that night. I didn’t want to be stuck with these lovebirds all evening.

“He went to see Isa,” Sora answered and finally put his phone down to focus on the movie he had forced us to watch. They were stuck at home babysitting me this time. Axel had taken yesterday’s shift and Ventus and I still found it difficult to be alone in a room together.

Since the fight our group had been divided. Sora, Riku, Axel and Ventus were my roommates so they had to take my side but Kairi and Xion controlled their boyfriends with an iron fist so they’d never say a bad word about the golden redhead.

I pulled my grey hoodie over my head, just thinking of Hikari made me angry, seeing her was even worse. She avoided me like the plague and it was painful. She wouldn’t even have lunch with us anymore just because she knew I was there. It was like Namine all over again but worse because Namine was easier to avoid.

Speaking of which, she’d been kind enough to message me after I’m sure the girls had filled her in, checking to see if I was okay or wanted to talk but I never responded. Honestly, she was the last person I wanted to hear from during all this. It was wrong but a part of me blamed her for my blow-up with the redhead. Maybe if we’d still been together I would have never felt this way about the new girl.

Fucking Hikari.

She was all I could think about when I first saw her in the library. She was so small and nervous but there was something reckless about her that kept me wanting to learn more. She did everything so cautiously, like she was always afraid but her body always betrayed her somehow, whether it was saying something she didn’t mean or looking at me in a way she never intended. God, when she was looking at me, with those big violet to blue ombre eyes always like she was surprised by me. It was so different with her. With Namine it was like she was always five steps ahead of me, like I was following her lead or tagging along. Namine was perfect, she never made any mistakes and if she ever did she was so poised about it. In the beginning I admired how well she kept it together but getting to the end it unnerved me. Unlike her, Hikari was a pretender, thinking she could handle it, thinking she was in control at all times but something always gave her away, something always showed her effort and I found it enduring.

Clearly I wasn’t the only one either. I’d seen eyes on her, those same eyes I’d always seen on Kairi and Xion but it was worse somehow now. I could hear guys gush about her hips, the size of her breasts, her perky ass. I knew that they wanted her, wanted to be inside her but she was oblivious to all of it. I could keep it together when it was Kairi or Xion but anytime I found another pair of eyes on her I thought I’d blow. And it wasn’t like I could protect her from it, who was I? Just a friend who’d also catch himself staring. She never noticed though, I was better than the others at watching. I could look at her roll her shoulders back, tilt her head to stretch her neck, bite her lip and cross her legs; I could see all of it and she never noticed.

In the library I just wanted to be around someone new, anybody. For just a little while, I didn’t want to be Roxas, the boy who got dumped for his duplicate. I was tired of the constant checking in and the rage I felt when I was with Ven. I just wanted to live for a little while outside of myself and all the shit I was going through and every time I was around Hikari, even when I was bombarding her with stupid memes and she was sending me random often disturbing articles online, I got to do that.

Then there was my birthday. She’d listened, really listened and put in such an effort just to make me happy, someone who at that time was still a stranger, an acquaintance at most. I admired that in her, that kindness and purity. It made liking her so easy because she was just so earnest. Being her friend had brought me a happiness I’d forgotten about. Even though I only started talking to her as a distraction, thinking nothing of it, she’d genuinely ended up becoming a part of me.

That was all over now though. Now, we were two strangers who shared friends and two classes together all because once again, I let my anger get the best of me. Why did it even bother me so fucking much? She wasn’t mine, she could do whatever she wanted. She didn’t owe me shit. But seeing her that night in those clothes, touching me and eventually begging for me… she couldn’t have been surprised I was as enraged as I was when I did see her.

And the way she had denied it, passed it off as an unimportant memory she had forgotten like we weren’t on the verge of fucking that entire night. God, that made my fists curl. From the moment I saw her I couldn’t keep my eyes or hands off her. When Axel and I had went for a smoke he kept teasing me about it but I denied everything. “Even if something could happen,” I’d told him in the alley. “The last thing I would want is for it to happen when we’re like this.” In a way he’d been my saviour that night because standing in that corner of the club, if he hadn’t stopped us I don’t know what I’d have done.

I’d never seen her like that, beyond just the dress but actively out of control. It scared me but seeing her own her sexuality, how bold she’d become excited me too. After our first day I saw her in the same uniform pretty much every day, that skirt and sweatshirt and on the occasions where she did get to wear whatever she wanted it was always a cropped sweatshirt and some jeans or a sweater dress. She’d show up so casual and plain, just making her way by. I don’t know what I was thinking before I saw her in her dorm that night but I guess I’d just assumed she’d be in something just as simple.

When I strolled in and met her in that barely-there dress I was in complete awe. We all were, none of us had expected shy and sarcastic little Hikari to look so provocative. She was smouldering, a literal fire that just needed a bit of gas to burst. Everything about her that night demanded to do things I’d barely thought about with her and then all of sudden it was like I couldn’t live without it. My life just got harder the drunker she got and by the end of the night it had to be some kind of higher power that stopped me from agreeing to her request.

_“I want you to make love to me.”_

I felt my cheeks burn remembering the sincerity in her voice and desire in her eyes. She’d been on top of me, rubbing against me eagerly with her hands on my face after undoing my shirt. My own hands had been on her waist, fingers trembling due to what I hoped she may have believed was the cold. In that moment, looking at her looking at me that’s all I wanted to do in that alley. I didn’t care who heard or saw that was all I wanted. But my senses kicked in and she ditched me to go find somebody else.

That’s what got me: the fact that I’d done the right thing and she was angry at me for it. She was punishing me. All those marks on her, probably even more under that black underwear set given to her by the same asshole who she wouldn’t even tell me about. Me, the person she talked to the most here. Or so I thought.

In the beginning I’d asked Kairi or Xion if they had any idea about who the guy was but she was freezing them out too, she refused to talk about it. Kairi had scolded me over the whole thing and even Xion was disappointed in me but they didn’t see those bruises like I did. There were so many and I didn’t know if I was more angry that she had let somebody make them or that it hadn’t been me who made them.

“Well?”

I turned my head to Riku who left our standard cherry red wood kitchen with a freshly popped bag of popcorn. He sat in one of the matching armchairs and hoisted his legs up onto our black coffee table.

“Well what?” I grumbled from where I lay on the couch, forcing my bare feet onto Sora’s lap.

“You and Hikari,” he munched away on his snack. “What’s going on with you two?”

I didn’t want to answer that, I really didn’t want to. It was the same question I’d been asked over and over again. There was nothing going on, especially now. Had I thought during that night that maybe something was happening? Maybe a line could get crossed? Of course I did, especially when she looked at me with my thumb in her mouth. But now? Whatever was supposed to happen absolutely would not. Not when I knew she’d been with somebody else so quickly after our fight.

“Nothing,” I answered plainly.

“Bullshit,” Sora snatched my chips in an instant. “Your lives practically revolve around each other. ‘Where’s Roxas?’ ‘He went to find Hikari.’ ‘Who are you texting?’ ‘Hikari.’ ‘Let’s get dinner.’ ‘Nah, I’m studying with Hikari.’”

“Roxas studying,” Riku mumbled. “Especially Worlds History? That really got me.”

“And it’s the same for her!” Sora exclaimed. “‘Have you seen Roxas?’ ‘I’m going to find Roxas.’ ‘Oh, Hikki, can you come with me to the library for a sec?’ ’Sorry, I promised Roxas we’d have dinner together.’”

“And if you aren’t talking,” the silver-haired boy added. “Then you’re texting or worse, calling one another and debating obscure conspiracy theories about government tracked pies or something.”

“It’s possible,” I muttered.

Sora pursed his lips, “I mean you’d see us coming down the hall and are already smiling the moment you spot her. You’ve never smiled at any of us like that and I pretty much saved your life.”

I jabbed my foot against his rib causing him to groan.

“I’m not saying I’m mad I did it!” The brunette whined. “My greatest achievement, really.”

Chuckling, Riku replied “It’s clear you li—“

“No,” I wouldn’t let him finish that statement. I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t feel that way about anyone, not after Namine. I wouldn’t.

“Deny it all you want,” Sora leaned back on the couch, raising the volume of the action movie that was playing. “But she has some kind of effect on you if you’re still this mad.”

“Can you even be this mad?” Riku questioned, more to himself than me. “I mean, let’s say it’s true, let’s say she was with somebody else, do you really have the right to be mad?”

I took a deep breath, my temper was boiling with each syllable that left his mouth. I knew he was right, I knew I couldn’t be angry but that just made me more mad.

“I just want her to be safe,” I said sternly and faced the flat screen TV across from us. The picture didn’t resonate, not one bit but lately nothing really did.

“Well Kairi says she was,” Sora replied.

I whisked my head in his direction, urgency in my voice. “Kairi knows what happened?”

Sora jumped, surprised by my sudden change in demeanour. Slowly, he shook his head and I immediately sunk back into my seat.

“She just said she’s told all of them, even her best friend that she’s happy and feels fine,” the brunette grabbed another handful of the ketchup sprinkled chips. “It’s like nothing happened.”

“That’s exactly the problem,” I glowered. She was so wrapped up in her bullshit and felt so above it all that she refused to open up again. If she was so proud of what she was doing, enough to fight with me about it, then she should have been proud to say it.

“She’s been sneaking out a lot though.”

Both Sora and I stared at the silver-haired boy who simply kept his aqua green eyes on the screen.

“What?” Sora questioned.

“Xion said she thinks its for training,” Riku glanced at me. Probably trying to measure my response. “But apparently yesterday she caught her trying on clothes.”

“It’s probably no—“

“What kind of clothes?” I interrupted Sora immediately.

Riku sighed, “…dresses and heels.”

I threw my legs over the couch. I had to sit up, I could feel a headache coming on just hearing that.

“It’s nothing,” Riku tried his best to ease my anger but we all knew that was bullshit.

“She would have at least told Mari,” Sora added. “Then Kairi would know too.”

I didn’t need reasoning, I needed answers.

There was a beep at our door when the last thing I needed to see walked in. Ven had his fingers entangled with Namine’s but dropped her hand the moment he laid eyes on me.

“Roxas?” He croaked. “I, uh, we thought you guys were going to see a movie.”

“Plans changed,” Sora responded, his cheerful expression in opposition to the strain of his voice. “I _texted_ you.”

“Hello Roxas.”

Even though I didn’t even want to look at her, I glared at the blond in her white long-sleeved sweater and short blue jean skirt. As usual, she was as graceful as she was beautiful stepping inside.

“I heard about Hikari,” she began. “Are you—“

“I’m going for a walk.”

I was at the door slipping into my sneakers before anybody could say another word and like that I was gone.

—

It was freezing outside after another rainy day. However, only wearing a hoodie, some black sweats, and sneakers had not been a good idea. There was no way I was going to go back and risk seeing Namine again.

I don’t know if she ever realized the extent of which she hurt me but whenever I saw her with Ven it felt like she just didn’t care. Things had been different since she got her body. I was quick to start things between us, it felt like the natural order of things and it had worked for a few months. I thought we were happy, but she suddenly became distance. I thought maybe she was still struggling to settle in, just because I’d gotten a hold of things quickly didn’t mean I expected the same for her. Hell, I’d encouraged her to spend more time with our friends so when she was hanging out with Ventus I thought nothing of it. I was naive and believed maybe he could just help her get a better understanding of all this than I could.

And then she told me she liked him. A lot.

I didn’t leave my room when I got back when I heard that he was staying with Aqua and Terra for the time being. All I wanted was to kill him. I didn’t want any explanations or to understand, no matter how much he tried to explain himself through Sora and Riku, I refused to get it. None of my friends could calm me down, not even Xion. If he’d been in the apartment there was no doubt in my mind one of us would have ended up dead.

It took weeks during that summer for me to even be able to hear his name without wanting to hit something. But like Riku had been saying the whole time, I just needed time and eventually he and I managed to have some broken version of a conversation. He spent most of it apologizing but I’d been angry for so long I just burnt out. It wasn’t okay but I had to make peace with it and when Namine called me days later to check in I told her the truth: I just wanted her to be happy.

Then I met Hikari.

Maybe it was because she reminded me of the blond, standing there and blushing so innocently, swallowed up in that sweater; maybe that’s why I talked to her the first time. I’d never known the reason but I did know I liked talking to her.

“Sea _shore._ ”

Hikari?

I ducked behind a tree at the edge of the forest. I’d circled our campus so many times to blow off steam and was ready to head back when I heard her. And there she was, standing next to a face I couldn’t see sitting on a sleek motorcycle. She was dressed in a short black dress covered in roses curled up in a large black coat. She was smiling effortlessly looking at the figure.

“Who cares…” a guy’s voice spoke from the bike. He leaned into her and her eyes closed before she laughed. That voice… Did I know that voice? I couldn’t recognize it but I knew this had to be the boy who’d hurt her.

I watched them laugh together when he pulled her in, whispering. I couldn’t hear a damn word now. They were so close together and she couldn’t stop smiling, the same way his hand couldn’t stay off her waist.

My head began to throb and I felt a familiar ache in my chest, the one that had been on and off whenever I thought of our fight. It didn’t get better when I watched her eyes close and knew they were kissing.

She was kissing him.

I had to leave, at least look away but I stared as her head swirled upon his. I swallowed back whatever rage was building, whatever pain I was feeling. She’d been begging for me that night, only holding me and now here she was, devoted to somebody else.

—

Today was judgement day. I knew I’d be fine, my friends as well, a simple test to see if we could go on missions meant nothing. The only thing that worried me was having to see Hikari. Just as I thought I was coming to terms with everything there she was in somebody else’s arms. I’d seen him kiss her, whoever he was, and I’d been so angry about it I only ended up getting three hours of sleep. Now I was in our changing room looking at my own reflection madder than before.

Our battle gear had come in and staring at these new clothes Hikari had helped me pick out was uncomfortable. She’d been right though, these black pants were sleek, with tight ankles stuffed in the black boots with white and red accents. My shirt was sleeveless with a high collar and zipper I’d pulled down to my collarbone. I slid on the short, long-sleeved white jacket and fixed the red hoodie. She’d been grinning from ear to ear peering over the catalog we’d been given while we waited for our measurements. I’d teased her about her dress which she’d informed me was a battle skirt, as if there was any difference.

“You see Hikari?”

My ears perked at the sound of her name. From the corner of my eye I recognized some classmates I’d never spoken to gossiping as they geared up. My frown depended and I should have just left but I was curious. So I kept my eyes on the mirror in front of me and watched the four huddled by the benches.

“Not yet,” a brawny brunette shrugged.

“You really gonna do it, Val?” The first boy, a dirty blond with a buzzcut questioned. If I remembered correctly from training against him his name was Lio.

“Yeah,” the brunette smirked. “Why not?”

“Isn’t she with…?” A boy sitting on the bench lacing up his boots gestured towards me. I caught their stare but there was no way they could tell. Even if they could, what were they really going to do about it? “You know…” he continued, his violet hair hiding his suspicion. “They’re always together.”

“They haven’t been recently, Zol” the last boy, another brunette but with short hair and far slimmer frame than the first who I could only assume was Val. “I got them in Worlds’ History. We all thought they were fucking ‘cause they were always talking and doing shit together. But like for over two weeks they’ve been like strangers.”

My cheeks burned at the realization that others really had noticed our distance. I wasn’t much for gossip so I never cared how anyone saw us but now it felt like all eyes were on me. It was Namine all over again. When word had got around that I was single girls came in waves. Of course I was flattered but I was also beyond pissed that on top of getting dumped my personal life had become the talk of the entire base.

“Fucking, Toliver? Really?” Lio rolled his eyes.

“Don’t act like you didn’t think it,” Toliver grinned and my fists clenched. “Blue and her girls saw them at that bar a couple weeks ago, Night-something? She said they were all over each other, making out and shit. And you don’t have class with them. They were into each other _heavy_. Sucks to be Roxas cause with a body like that you know she can handle dick.”

The veins in my hands were pulsating at his words. I had no idea who this punk was but I knew when I got the chance I’d strangle him.

“Christ, Toli,” Val chuckled and ran a hand through his long hair. “Guys, I’m not trying to fuck her. Not yet. I just wanna take her out.”

“Do you even know anything about her?” Zol asked.

“He knows she’s hot,” Toliver jeered and plans of his execution ran through my mind. “What else is there?”

“She is beautiful,” Val agreed and got added to my hit-list. “And trust, I am getting in her bed, no doubt. But she’s also pretty charming, a funny girl. I got her in alchemy and partnered with her a couple times. She’s super cute guys and I’m pretty sure she’s into me.”

I scoffed and luckily they hadn’t heard. I doubted Hikari was into anyone here but just to be safe I’d have to be sure to question Axel about this asshole.

“Well,” Zol stretched as he rose from the bench. “Good luck Valor ‘cause if what Tol’s saying is true and you’re going against _him_ you got a hell of an act to follow.”

Lio nodded as the group made their way to the exit, “facts. Girls are literally fighting to get a chance with Roxas.”

I caught Val glare at me but I wouldn’t move an inch, I didn’t falter to anyone.

“I got this. Hikari’s into me, trust. Doesn’t matter who was with her before. Like Tol said, they don’t even talk anymore. She’s mine.”

My eyes shut and I took in a long deep breath before I heard the door swing shut. I was aggravated before but I was pissed now. Not only was my business all out there but Hikari had become this hot ticket item every douchebag was trying to plow and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. She wasn’t mine and I just had to keep reminding myself of that. Besides, it wasn’t like she’d get with anyone here, she had Seashore Shit-face or whatever his dumbass name was.

I focused back on my face in the mirror and tried me very best to level my temper. I didn’t need her, I never needed her. I was fine before her and I would sure as hell be fine after her. Fuck her. Fuck her!

“You good?”

Sora’s voice took me out of my thoughts. Through the mirror I could see the concern in his blue eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose and forced a smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you?” He cocked a brow. “‘Cause I just caught the end of that conversation and it looks like your going to kill somebody.”

“I’m _fine_ ,” I growled through clenched teeth.

“ _Sure_ you are, Roxas,” He only rolled his eyes with a smirk on his lips. “You’re totally fine with Hikari having a secret boyfriend and guys in school talking about smashing her. Totally cool with that.”

I gave a curt nod, more so to convince myself in the mirror.

“Good thing ‘cause that guy Val isn’t the only one.”

My eyes bulged, almost falling from their sockets. “Are you serious?”

Sora nodded, “I mean, you can’t be surprised. Remember how guys were always trying to get at Kairi and Xion when we first got here? Hikki’s just like them, too pretty for their own good. And to be honest you two not having a thing but people thinking you do has kind of made it worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like their competing for her now,” Sora shrugged. “People think we’re some kind of big deal because of what we did so when Hikki, this girl nobody knows just ends up a part of our group and on top of that gets close to you… Well, guys are quick to try and get with the girl they think turned _you_ down.”

My brows creased in frustration. Had this all been going on around me and I just hadn’t noticed? Was I _that_ wrapped up in the redhead? Christ, now all because of me there was like some target on her back. I thought of warning her but what was the point? She’d already proven that she’d be faithful to whatever his name was when she wouldn’t tell me the truth. Still, I hated it but I found myself worried.

“But what do you care, right?” Sora sneered as he pulled down his fingerless black gloves. “You hate her.”

“I don’t _hate_ her,” I frowned. At least I didn’t think I did. Well, maybe just a bit.

“Then maybe you should talk to her before somebody else does,” he suggested but I rolled my eyes at the goof and marched past him across the hardwood floor.

“Let them. She’s got a _boyfriend_ who can protect her now. I’m done.”

—

“All right,” Aqua looked down to her tablet, clicking away for a random draw. “Next is…”

Our class had been huddled up in the viewing deck. Below us was a dark field of paved dark concrete with a few pillars of the same material strewn up. There were small patches of dying grass ever so often and from the cold air of the AC dust smokes covered the battleground. It was a pretty big gym that only served the purpose of examinations and particular training sessions. With it’s four tall walls it was separate from the main part of the base and off to the side with it’s own medical staff and changing rooms.

Aqua and Terra sat at the front of the booth and my group had been lucky enough to snag seats beside them. Terra clicked on the panelbefore him and Aqua, lowering the lights of the arena once again. So far all the battles had been pretty impressive; from seeing Axel fight against Kairi, Ven took down that dick Toliver in only ten minutes and Sora and Riku almost annihilate one another. Xion had just finished her own fight and was headed up now and just as I had expected, they’d all been given the go for missions so far.

Patiently, I sat beside Kairi as she feverishly texted away at her phone, struggling to get a hold of her roommate but I refused to worry about that now. I had a fight to win.

“Roxas and Hikari.”

Damnit.

I stood from the bench, feeling the eyes of my friends drilling holes into my back. I’d just hoped that she wouldn’t show. I hadn’t seen her earlier so maybe I’d get lucky and get a new opponent. I left the room through the back door and climbing down the stairs to the field. She was probably skipping and with that beanie-wearing asshole from last night. I rolled my eyes and scanned my hand over the lock. It slid open and I entered the breezy field.

Just as expected, empty. I knew she wouldn’t show on a day like today. Maybe she was too scared and would call in sick at any moment. I turned up to the deck expecting Aqua to send a new opponent when I heard the clanging of metal.

There she was.

Her red hair was free and her eyes locked on me, a complete lack of any expression I could read. Her battle wear was tight, a halter neck red-violet dress that reached her upper thigh. It was sleeveless but beneath it she wore an off the shoulder, long sleeved purple top. Small, white ruffles stuck out from the shirt and neck line, the same colour as the thigh-high stockings she was in. There were two zippers on either side of her, both pulled down and a brown belt at her hips with a bag it was attached to it, matching her knee-high, laced up boots.

As angry as I was to see her, that didn’t stop me from admiring her curves which only led me to being more pissed. She always looked so good and it drove me up the wall. I’d see how other guys look at her and now I knew exactly what they all wanted. They’d undress her with their eyes and it only made me want to shield her away from them. It was the worst on that infamous night. My friends would never say it to me directly, especially not when they were seeing people already but seeing her in that mini red dress was wondrous.

Now here she was again, a body I was willing to kill for when I thought she’d gone missing and a girl I thought I’d be willing to die for. Seeing her standing across from me so aloof made the rage rise in my chest.

Oathkeeper and Oblivion were in my hands in an instant. That shook her up. She gazed down at my weapons and bit her lower lip. I hated when she did that, it meant she was thinking and I never knew what was coming after. She clasped her hands behind her back and focused her eyes back on my face. I couldn’t read her at all, there wasn’t a hint of malice or joy on her face. She was so calm, acting so normal and it made me want to scream.

“Begin!”

The screech of my keyblades on the ground was all I could hear as I ran at her. She didn’t move an inch, as if waiting for me to strike. I leaped and came crashing down when she jumped at the last moment. I wasn’t going to let her get away.

I whirled Oathkeeper to her throat but she ducked quickly before pushing herself from Oblivion’s slash. I struck again and again and with each hit she dodged it. I was furious. She may have thought she could play passive but I wouldn’t allow it. It was time to end this.

“Enough!” I pushed myself back from her. Before she could flinch, I leapt to the wall of one of the podiums and then on top of it. Nobody emblems circled her and panic finally crossed her face.

I wouldn’t rest. My keyblades spun, charging the light from the insignia with a bright, burning glow. Suddenly, beams zapped to where she stood, swallowing her in smoke.

When the vapour cleared she was weak on the ground, huddled over and clutching her sides. The guilt hit immediately. Had I gone too far?

She raised her head slowly, cringing in pain when she pointed upwards. Cocking a brow I turned to where her finger was before being knocked to the ground. I tumbled from the podium, being struck by a mysterious force the entire time. My keyblades clashed to the ground before I hit it hard. I blocked the strikes of the force and peeked through strained eyes to see a maddening look in the eyes of the redhead.

Summoning Oblivion to my side, I held out against each blow. She grinned wildly with pupil-less eyes. Her arms splintered as she struck the metal, each cut leaving a slither of light.

This was a duplicate.

I pushed her off me and jumped to my feet to see her lying on the ground. She rose slowly, her head to the floor and I prepared for another strike.

Her body twitched inhumanely and I saw a bright light glowing from where her right eye had been but the smile remained. These weren’t very durable I thought looking at all the glowing wounds. Any moment it could burst and magic like this was draining. Where was she and what was she trying to do? Scare me?

The clone straightened with an unnerving crack ringing through the stadium. It’s arms rose to its side and with one final look a burst of light blinded me.

Gently, I peered over my arm only to realize I was faced with six more clones. I grunted and summoned Oathkeeper. I’d make quick work of whatever she threw at me.

They launched for me at once but I met each on the offensive. Their hands punched and clawed but against my keyblades they were nothing. Just as one would kick I’d hop over them and strike another. The white head of Oathkeeper slashed one through it’s neck. The wide wound seeped light before it disintegrated into nothing.

The pattern continued; a stab, kick, cut, leap before only one stood left. I jabbed Oblivion through it’s stomach and it trembled as I pulled out my keyblade in one swift motion. It staggered backwards, its smiling remaining even when it fell to its knees. I huffed, catching my breath when its arms fell to it’s side and disappeared into light just like the others.

“Where are you!?” I roared in the empty stadium.

“Here.”

My head shot up and through the mist she stood above on a podium. I wouldn’t give her a chance. I dove behind me, shooting a ball of fire at her in the process. Before it could even graze her skin her keyblade shielded her from the flames.

Halcyon, I thought trying to remembering Yen Sid’s book and what we’d read about it. She wasn’t even holding it, just levitating the keyblade between her hands.

Her hands lifted, guiding the weapon above her head. Now was the time, just strike her down with her eyes closed, but I had to see. Was this another distraction? What was she planning?

Her keyblade glowed, illuminating her and as those slender arms slowly lowered two more blades appeared on either side of the original and then her. I grimaced, she still wanted to play, huh?

Her eyes glowered, she was angry, just better at hiding it than I was but never as good as someone like Namine. A single arm rose, her hand simulating a gun and pointing directly at me.

“Bang.”

They shot like rockets. All at once each copy flew directly at me. There was no time to hesitate as I blocked their strikes. My ears were entranced at the clashing of metal with sweat beading down my forehead. I glanced over to where she once stood only to see her hands twisting and turning as she gradually made her way down the podium, a new copy of Halcyon appearing beneath her feet as she made her way to the ground.

I needed an advantage, a way to drop the illusions. I knelt to the ground quickly, spinning my blades above my head, charging another, smaller set of lasers. Her keyblade’s copies kept raining down, hard but bursting after each hit. I felt the fire build within me, a sign of the ray being at full charge.

In a moment they burst, shattering each blade and blinding her when I jumped from where I stood. When I landed I looked to where she was, crouched behind a barrier she’d made. When the last of the light shattered against her she rose to her full stance, no keyblade insight.

“No more games,” I frowned.

Her brows furrowed, “fine.”

I heard the crack of glass. Above I watched one by one as each light of the stadium went out, some bulbs breaking to her will. She glowed with her arms bent at her side, collecting whatever energy she could before summoning her keyblade before her. Her eyes blacked out, just orbs of light when she transferred the rays to her weapon.

Now she was serious.

Those violet-blues appeared as the illumination diminished and she clutched her weapon. Her back straightened and she held it out before her, pointed directly to me. She was cocky, not even using the battle stance I’d helped her create. I was furious glaring back at her arrogance.

“Surrender.”

My eyes glazed over with fury but my feet carried me forward. She ran to meet me in the middle and jumped to come down on me but I leapt forward and clashed Oathkeeper into Halcyon.

I was a force and it became clear when she buckled back but landed on her feet. I wouldn’t give her a chance to collect herself. I threw Oblivion at her and chased Hikari down. She struck it down but it was in my hand once again when I came down on her with another blow.

She blocked my attack and swung her leg into my side. I couldn’t help but wince but jabbed my keyblade into her. She dodged and kicked at me once again. I struggled to get out of her entanglement but finally freed myself with a strike to her thigh.

She wouldn’t give up, even when I saw her stance falter as she rose to her feet again. She whipped her keyblade at me following with a bolt of electricity. I flipped before a cut could land but she and her keyblade awaited me with a hard hitting blow to side.

The metal in our hands collided against one another over and over again, the only other sound being that of our grunts with each strike. Just when I thought she was tiring out, she’d come with a harder hit. I could feel the rage fuming from her but it only fuelled me further.

“Surrender!” She screamed.

“Never!”

I knocked her to her feet one last time and climbed over her. Oblivion vanished and I pressed down on Halcyon against her neck with Oathkeeper. She bore her teeth, shoving it back with all the force she could muster. Her eyes focused on me, her back arching while she squirmed between my legs. She was losing steam and I finally had the upper hand.

Light flashed before us in the dimly lit battleground when my keyblade disappeared and I gripped onto the neck and handle of hers.

Her grasp was nothing when I ripped it from her and launched it across the stadium. Now, inches from her face I glowered down at her, a hand and knee pressed on either side of the golden girl.

She wouldn’t meet my eye and only beat against my chest.

“Hikari!” My voice rasped. “Look at me.”

She angled her head from her keyblade and let out a sigh before I heard a flash of light. Her eyes scanned mine, brows knitted and face defeated. I felt her palms open, gently brushing against the hanging charm of my zipper before resting on the center of my chest. She slid her other hand over her heart and drew me in closer.

“Roxas…” she whispered. “Careful.”

My brow raised but a blaze of heat tore me off her and knocked me against a nearby podium. I landed on the ground with a thud and grimaced to see the redhead charging at me once more. I climbed to my feet and grabbed her keyblade once more when she tried to strike. I threw her onto the wall of the column, jabbing her keyblade threateningly into her stomach with my hands holding hers above her head.

Now she was done. Huffing and restrained, my breaths following slowly after hers. She was beet red, eyes on me as our chests pressed together rose and fell. She couldn’t go any further but I wouldn’t take a chance.

There was a whirling in the air before a few dim lights shown down on us. The intercom buzzed and echoed through the battlefield.

“Good work,” Aqua’s voice broke through the speaker. “Very well done.”

I loosened my grip of her wrists and she yanked her arms to her chest. She rubbed them, casting another glare before pushing past me and walking to look up at the viewing box. I rolled my eyes and followed her to hear the masters’ critiques.

“You two shoed great skill today,” Terra complimented. I wasn’t sure if that was exactly a good thing seeing as now the only real light came from the viewing box and the backups that barely lit the arena.

“That being said Terra and I have a few notes,” explained Aqua.

“Roxas,” Terra spoke. “You can’t let your emotions blind you in a fight. Not every battle can be won with just sheer force of will.”

“And Hikari,” the blue haired woman added. “You were too focused. You’re strategy of playing meek won’t work against any nonhuman opponent. You know Roxas so you knew he’d underestimate you but that won’t always be the case. Less tricks, more combat.”

“You two could learn a lot from one another,” Terra explained. “I’d recommend training together on your own time.”

I scoffed, just as she crossed her arms. Like that would be happening again. We’d been training together before that night at the club but here she was, practically a beast all on her own.

“Definitely,” Aqua replied. “That being said, we’ve cleared you both for missions.”

At least some good came out of this. I bowed towards them and Hikari did the same.

“We’ll end it here,” Terra announced. “Good job recruits, we’ll tackle the rest of the class next week. Have a good rest of your day.”

I heard her let out a sigh of relief. She really had been scared of not passing. Hikari clasped her hand to her chest and stared at the ground, her mind was elsewhere. Should I have said something? After this I was just going to see her in Worlds History.

“Hikari—“

She stormed past me, heading straight for the change room without a word.

—

It was another class of Hikari pretending I didn’t exist. I’d spent it mostly watching her from the corner of my eye as usual but also catching the stares of those around us. It was true, people did have their suspicions about her and I. I could see them whispering but she on the other hand was completely oblivious to it all.

But it had worked in her favour I guess. As I’d headed back to the main building for my final class I couldn’t help but notice that idiot Val speaking to her. It looked like he was trying to lay some moves on her but she was quick to shut that down with a shake of her head and an uncomfortable smile. I wasn’t sure what she’d told him but when he turned away and saw me he glared. I kept my face cool, not a sign of tension or relief. Whatever she did was her business and her problem now. I had to care less.

Now in class she was back to giving me the silent treatment. Hikari was attentive the whole class, asking questions every so often and scribbling notes in her book. She could thank me for any passing grades she received. The amount of work she put into ignoring me seemed to really pay off with how often her roommates said she was studying.

I tried to focus on Master Yen Sid but I couldn’t think of anything else but the redhead beside me. Luckily, he was calling us over one by one to go over a test from last week which meant I could spend the majority of class sulking in my textbook. It really was just like Namine all over again, like I’d been betrayed.

I heard her sigh and watched her croon her neck to the side. My eyes widened at the purple bruises that peeked from under her white collar. My mind instantly flashed back to her kissing that asshole last night. She really was fucking him, I could spot those fresh hickeys anywhere. My nostrils flared as I looked on to her petite frame swallowed up in her uniformed sweatshirt. Had she really worn the white dress shirt underneath to try and hide those love bites? I wondered if it was like last time, if under those clothes there were more. Quickly my eyes scanned over her, paying special attention to her thighs peeking out from under that mini skirt. From here I couldn’t see any more bruises but I had no doubt there were more. Why was she even trying to hide it anymore? Clearly she was proud enough to keep seeing him.

Looking at her again I remembered the jerks in the change room and how crudely that asshat Toliver had talked about her. _A body like that_ ; what a dick. I mean I knew she wasn’t ugly, that was obvious and even though she was stacked with those womanly curves and tiny waist it didn’t erase the fact that she was still a person. But why did I care? She wasn’t my person.

I couldn’t stop my mind from picturing her lying beneath him. I saw her large breasts rising as she panted, her round, full ass bent forward for him while she moaned, her thick thighs pulling apart under my grasp, and those perfect plumb lips wrapping around my throbbing co—

Her gummiphone vibrated, thankfully shaking me out of my erotic thoughts. I licked my lips I’d been gnawing on thinking of her naked body and saw confusion on her face as she reached for it. Her brows furrowed as she clicked away on her phone. I followed her expression change to a kind smile and her cheeks flushed. Her body relaxed as she typed away, completely engrossed in her phone.

Who the hell was she talking to? I hadn’t seen her on any kind of social media or the group chat; she’d been completely off the web and now she was beaming at her phone.

“Hikari.”

Yen Sid gestured for the redhead. Her face reddened again as she placed her phone face down and hurried to his desk. I watched her hips sway beneath her skirt and groaned internally. I shouldn’t have been looking at her like this. I shouldn’t have been looking at her at all. Hormones were what got us into this mess in the first place.

The phone buzzed again and I peered to the front. She was completely focused on Yen Sid as he spoke. It was wrong to do but my fingers flipped the device over. I flipped the home screen on and lowered my brows at the sender. _V?_ Who the hell was V? I read over the preview of the message and my frown deepened.

_“He wants you.”_


	17. Sans Fransokyo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari goes on her first mission with Sora and Ventus to San Fransokyo. They spend the ride to the world reassuring her there's nothing to fear but she’s still not as confident. Still, she puts her faith in her friends and hopes for the best.

It was an early morning trip I definitely wasn’t prepared for. I’d just got approved for missions and two days later I was headed with Sora and Ven to San Fransokyo. During our briefing with Master Aqua and Terra we learned of a Heartless that had been spotted in the city and they were sending us to take it down. I couldn’t sleep the night before and spent it talking to Vanitas. He’d assured me I’d be fine but I didn’t believe him. Fighting Roxas had been one thing but Heartless? They were unpredictable and most of my spells revolved on my ability to trick my opponent.

My fight with Roxas had gone a lot better than expected though. I was worried about who my opponent would be but upon hearing it was Roxas a was a little relieved. I’d gotten to the arena late from going through my notes about my keyblade but somehow made it just in time for my battle.

And what a fight it was. Vanitas really had prepared me well. I was on fire and blazing through each spell. It was hard but I really did it and even though I hadn’t really relied on direct attacks I was content with my performance. I couldn’t help but wonder what Roxas thought but the moment he said my name I bolted. I just couldn’t talk to him about all this tension, not yet.

Honestly I didn’t really want to speak to anyone so when Valor from my alchemy class approached me asking to get dinner I completely blew t off. I’d worked with him a few times but I didn’t know him all that well and when he used the word date I panicked and told him I was seeing someone. It wasn’t a lie but it still felt awkward to tell to a stranger. By the time I was leaving my last class word had already spread that I had a boyfriend. I didn’t mind it though, it got prying eyes off me.

It was strange, the fascination around me always had to do with the others and their battle, I was just a tagalong. I didn’t know what had everyone so interested, they were just regular kids like the rest of us. Even still, if it took a rumour to get people off my back I’d take it.

I checked my gummiphone for the time once more, 7:50AM. I’d been my first to make way down to the gummiship grounds. As expected, the mechanics were up and about preparing our ship I had no chance in hell in flying until next year. I remembered touring one during one of my combat classes. The strip wasn’t too big but it was deep within compass, at least a fifteen minute walk and totally isolated from any other activities. From what I knew, the ships were stored underground and only brought up for missions. They were small, black vessels manned by anyone who’d already had aero-pilot classes which luckily for me was both Sora and Ventus. The ships could hold upwards to five passengers and weren’t meant for long voyages, just enough to get us to one world or two and back. Sora had told me that they were bigger gummiships but those were locked away by the masters and only used for certain missions.

“Unit XE-808, prepare for surfacing!”

I looked back at the large, curved building of the aircraft carrier. The mechanics in their black pullovers walked to the walls and despite standing outside, I took a setback. From the viewing deck above I saw my workers clicking away at their dashboard when I heard a heavy clunk and the whirring of metal as the ground in the centre of the garage opened and the ship began to arise.

I was in wondered as it raised from the ground, a cool liquid dripping from the sleek black frame. Once it was on ground level, the machine hummed as a technician drove it forward. My eyes rounded as it came into view.

The ship had to sets of wings protruding outward and behind it, like a crescent moon. The window in the front was narrow but clear enough to see the row of seats with two in the front, two in the back, and one in the middle. There were two large rockets to the back and to slim blasters to the front with the entire coat being a polished onyx black.

Once it was far out enough, I walked towards it but stopped once the roof slowly lifted and a set of steps automatically exerted outwards. I watched the two technicians climb out and begin to expect the vehicle.

“Morning Hikari,” Sora yawned. I turned to the brunette as he approached me on the airstrip. He was ready to go in his black battle gear of v-neck t-shirt underneath his short-sleeved hooded jacket with red hems. He stumbled towards me, yanking down on the tight fabric of his shorts on his calves before pulling on his fingerless gloves. It was clear he wasn’t any happier about being here this early, his hair was a mess.

“Sora,” I smiled and walked up to him. “Come here.”

I titled his head towards me and smoothed down his spiky locks and adjusted his silver crown necklace. I thought I was a mess but as he smoothed out his clothes I felt just a bit more put together.

“Thanks,” he blushed and put a hand to the back of his neck. “Long night.”

“I’m sure.”

“Good morning guys.”

We turned to see an equally as tired Ventus in his black and white short sleeve jacket and grey, black and white caprice pants. Underneath his jacket was a grey vest and then a high-necked black shirt with a plain blue and green armour against his midsection. It matched the armour on his upper-left shoulder, above his wrist where he wore a black and white checkered wristband, similar to the one I’d seen on Roxas but with white edges. On his chest were two straps, crossed over one another with the same emblem I’d seen on Aqua and Terra in silver.

“Not you too,” I chuckled and adjusted the red collar of his jacket. “How are both this much of a mess this early?”

They sniggered as I ruffled Ven’s bangs.

“Looks like your ready to go.”

Master Aqua and Terra advanced towards us from the air carrier and we straightened immediately.

“Good Morning, Masters.”

I felt the warmth of Terra’s hand on my head and looked up to see him grinning at us.

“No need to be so formal when it’s just us guys…”

That was right, I had learned that the group had quite a bit of history with these two, especially Ven.

“Ready for your first mission?” Aqua grinned.

“Ready,” Sora beamed, Ven nodding just as enthusiastically. I on the other hand casted my eyes to the ground.

I felt a weight in my shoulders and saw Aqua give me a comforting smile.

“Don’t be scared, Hikki,” she encouraged. “You’re just as capable as anybody else. You’ve got this.”

Even though I was still on the fence, I took a deep breath and chose to believe her. Aqua had been helping me learn on the spells I knew after all and had made sure I was ready. She wouldn’t have passed me if I wasn’t.

“Besides,” Terra rested his hands on both Sora and Ven. “We’re depending on you to look after these two knuckleheads.”

I couldn’t help but giggle at the disdain in their faces and rebuttals along with our masters when a mechanic ran up to us.

“Unit XE-808 is ready for take off,” he announced, earning a nod from the two older wielders.

“This is it,” Aqua reeled herself back from me. “You guys are going to do great.”

“Nothing we can’t handle,” Ven smiled confidently.

“Just like old times,” Sora added.

“We’ll do our best,” I clasped my hands behind my back. “Wish us luck.”

“Stay focused,” Terra advised as he crossed his arms. “And don’t do anything too brash.”

“Remember, the other worlds aren’t supposed to know of each other,” said Aqua. “Be safe and good luck!”

I watched the boys climb onto the ship, first Sora’s yellow and black boots and then Ven’s armoured olive green and steel grey-blue pair. I looked down at the hard metal of the steps and swallowed back any hesitation and climbed on.

The ship was a clean light blue with with fight seats in it’s circular layout; two at the front, two in the back, and one in the middle. Along the dark walls, beneath the black windows were panels of buttons and switches I simply did not understand.

Sora and Ventus sat at the front, confident as ever as I took the seat in the middle. I was incredibly nervous and pulled out my phone. I’d sent Mari a text earlier about going on my first mission and although she’d wished me luck during out last call, I was received to see a silly photo she sent with a sleeping Lucas and the words ‘good luck’ typed in big bold letters below.

The ship hummed as Ven took the helm, Sora flicking a few buttons when the blackness of the windows evaporated.

“You guys ready?” The blonde asked excitedly.

Sora nodded, just as enthusiastic, “absolutely!”

A familiar burn crept into the back of my neck and a quickly rubbed the back down once again. Just like before, I thought it was probably just the anxiety of doing something so new. I lent back at my seat and cast my eyes out the now clear window.

“Full steams ahead,” I muttered sarcastically.

The roar of the engine increased and with a few more adjustments the ship began to roll forward. It gradually increased in speed and I gripped onto the armrests of my chair. I could feel the pressure of gravity as the ship slowly rose, the faster we got. I shut my eyes, I didn’t want to see it, I just knew it would make me sick. Coming to Orenda had been hard enough on me during that ride. I’d made the mistake of watching us lift off and immediately gotten nauseous.

The pressure pushed down harder on my chest and my breaths shortened. My eyes squeezed tighter as small ripples of electricity spiked through me.

“Almost there…” Sora was distant amongst the rise but I tried my best to focus on it. I could feel a gooey bile creep up my throat and the thin hairs on my arms rise. _Almost there, almost there, almost—_

“We’re in!” Ven exclaimed.

“Kick it into hyperdrive,” Sora replied. “We’ll get there in like a few hours!”

Gingerly, I opened my eyes. The ship gleamed inside as the stars surrounding us lit our way. There were millions of them, beaming brightly and lighting our path. I rose from my seat and ran to the front of the ship where my friends sat. I peered between them, resting my hands on the ledge of of the control panel and losing myself in the twinkling lights.

“This is incredible.”

“I know,” Sora said softly. “It never gets old.”

“I gotta show Mari,” I muttered, pulling out my phone from my bag. She would never believe me if I just told her about it, I needed evidence.

“Oh, I should probably get a picture for Namine,” Ven chimed. “I promised I’d take one for her next time I was out here.”

“How is she?” Sora asked. “Last time I saw her it was with Roxas.”

Unwillingly, my brows lifted with interest.

“She’s good,” the blond responded. “I mean, she’s used to Roxas being so cold. I know it hurts her but she puts up a good front.”

“Well, he was being an ass,” Sora sat back comfortably in his seat.

I scoffed which brought the boys’ attention to me.

“He’s always an ass,” I frowned. “It’s Roxas, she shouldn’t be surprised. What was he mad about now? Was she breathing his air or something?”

“Actually… It was about you.”

I focused on Sora’s blue eyes and the mischievous smile on his lips. Was he teasing? He shouldn’t have joked about this.

“No,” I frowned. “It couldn’t be. It’s been like three weeks, he can’t still be mad.”

“Why?” Ven smirked. “You’re still mad.”

“S-shut up!” My brows furrowed as I marched back to my seat. I sat down in a huff, arms crossed trying not to think of the stupid blond and our stupid fight.

“You guys can’t be mad at each other forever,” Sora said, casually. “You mean the world to one another. Just kiss and make up already.”

My cheeks flushed just as he and Ven snickered.

“It’s not that easy,” I explained, choosing to ignore his jest. “He hurt me, he should have to come and apologize to me. It’s all his fault anyway. He’s obsessed with trying to control me. Why does he even care where I was or who I was with? You guys weren’t worried—”

“We were,” Ven cut me off. “But Roxas was a wreck. He left after Kairi finally got a hold of you and stayed up the whole night just waiting for you.”

“I had to force him to go to bed,” said Sora. “He was convinced you were in danger, panting and pacing. I’ve never seen him that scared.”

Well that made me feel like shit. All I could mutter was a simple “oh” as I sunk deeper into my seat. I hadn’t intended to ditch him but I was so angry that when Vanitas appeared from the blue I just went along with whatever selfish feelings had been controlling me that night. I was still lost when it came to what he was mad about but hearing that made it a but more clear. Now I just needed to figure out what got us fighting in the first place.

I cupped my chin in my palm and stared into the stars, “he just drives me crazy.”

“Then it’s fair,” Sora exclaimed, turning back with a grin. “But he feels the exact same about you.”

A half smile found it’s way to my lips. I couldn’t stay angry around these two which made it even harder to stay angry at him since he looked just like them.

“I know we have to talk,” I mumbled. “I just… He just really hurt me.”

I thought back to him tearing me out of Vanitas’ shirt and scanning me over. I was so frightened and so angry to have him touch me so violently. He’d crossed a line and I wanted to hate him for it but I couldn’t. Hearing this now, I knew he did it all because he himself was afraid but that temper of his was so dangerous.

“So tell him that,” Ven said plainly. “Not for him or for us but you owe it to yourself.”

“Yeah,” Sora agreed. “You need to confront him for you, get it off your spirit.”

I pulled my legs into my seat and leaned back as I thought it over. They were right. I didn’t have to forgive him but I had to tell him that touching me like that… It wasn’t okay.

“Maybe,” I muttered. “We’ll see.”

—

The streets of San Fransokyo were buzzing with activity. It was a much faster paced city than Orenda with a hell of a lot more people. There were plenty of tall buildings that looked almost endless from down below and bright buzzing neon lights as far as the I could see. We’d arrived sometime in the afternoon and after the boys’ shaky landing, managed to slip and slide our way down into an alley. 

Once we made it to the main road I was enamoured by the colourful yet sleek architecture and abundance of signs with all kinds of advertising fighting for one’s attention.

“So where are we off to?” Sora asked, arms lazily bent behind his head.

“Hm,” Ven tapped away at his tablet. “Not sure…”

“It can’t be that hard to find a massive heartless,” I replied. “I mean, it has to be out here destroying the city somewhere.”

“But where?” The brunette whined. “San Frans. is huge.”

A blaring siren rang in the air, seemingly freezing the city and all of it’s inhabitants. The boys and I swirled our eyes with everyone eyes in an attempt to locate the sound when all the of digital billboards flipped to a radiating red with white words scrolling across the screens.

“ _ALERT! CITIZENS OF SAN FRANSOKYO. ALERT!”_ A booming automated voice filled the air. “ _GOLDEN TORII BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. GOLDEN TORII BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. FIND SHELTER. AVOID GOLDEN TORII BRIDGE AT ALL COSTS! EXPECT FURTHER INFORMATION IN THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS_!”

“That has to be it!” Sora turned to Ven and I, determination on his face. “Ready?”

“Lead the way,” Ven replied as I nodded. He took the lead and we followed close behind.

We’d ran as fast as we could, past screaming bystanders trying to get away from whatever chaos awaited us. When we finally got to the towering red bridge it was swarmed with cars and more people running in our direction to escape whatever was down the road. I looked to Sora and Ventus who summoned their keyblades in an instant. From where we stood, I could see black smoke in the distance.

“Guys, no!” I commanded. “We need a plan.”

“There’s no time,” Ventus gripped the black handle of his keyblade, the dull gold guard glittering in the sun. It was short and he held it in reverse with a thin, grey shaft and three plain gold lines running through it. There were two short bares connecting to the centre and the teeth were grey and shaped like a single wing with five curved bars that got shorter the closer they came to the shaft. His keychain swing amidst the chaos, a small green gem with two silver feathers on it.

“Ven’s right,” the blue, white, and gold filigree shimmered of Sora’s keyblade. “We gotta get in there.”

Sora’s keyblade was longer than both mine’s and Ven’s. There was a crown at the tip and near the three spikes of the teeth as well as the links of the keychain which was of a small blue crowned charm and heart. The shaft of the blade was made up of metal lattice all attached to a gilded heart just above the crowned hilt.

I couldn’t get another word in as the boys leaped onto the mass of cars before us and charged into the smoke. I groaned and summoned Halcyon to my side. Whether I liked it or not, it was go time.

I climbed into a nearby vehicle and ran ahead, pushing pasts the screaming pedestrians and hopping from car to car. The smog thickened as I bolted into it only to find my ear developed by the sound of Ven yelling my name. I whisked by my head to his direction as the site of the bottom of a car coming directly at me.

My body leapt aside on it’s own, nearly missing the ton of metal. The ground trembled as the heartless lunged forward at me. A simple jump and I was out from it’s way once again. Taking cover behind an abandoned blue van I finally got a chance to look at the monstrosity terrorizing the grand red bridge.

It was massive, completely black with four small golden slits for what I could only assume was eyes. It stood over the ocean waters but was only as tall the mighty bridge with two muscular arms and several long tendrils throbbing from it’s scalp. It’s mouth was in the shape of a desk and golden like it’s eyes. I shivered with fear as it let out a powerful cry.

“Sora, Ventus,” I muttered with a hold of my earpiece. “I-I think I have an idea.”

“Shoot!” I heard Ventus say, the clashing of his weapon against the smaller heartless in the background.

“Take the bridge rails,” I suggested. “I should be able to conjure enough replicates to handle stuff down here?”

“You sure? Sora grunted.

From where I stood I squinted at the sun once more, “positive. Could you guys shield me?”

“Got it!”

“Right!”

Halcyon left my grasp and I took a deep breath. I just had to conjure the light. I’d done it before, what was to stop me from doing itagain? I could feel the weight in my chest, the doubt, as I rose with my arms bent to my sides but just tried to remember my training with Vanitas.

The heartless roared but I kept my focus. I just needed to pull from the light. I took a deep breath and pressed my feet firmly into the ground. I could feel the heat rise within me as I threw my head back and emerged completely in the light.

“You ready?” I heard Sora call.

I nodded, “go!”

The two ran for the beast as the smaller heartless found their way to me. With a deep breath I summoned a dozen replicates and got straight to work with clearing the bridge. My hands moved quickly, directing and them to wipe out each enemy that crossed our path. My fingers cramped with each twist and my breath was shallow but just as quickly as the beast spewed smaller heartless I was quick to take them out.

It released another roar and I turned to find one of it’s arms swooping downwards towards me. I lunged to get out of the way but it’s fingers were faster and I felt my insides squeeze as it wrapped around my torso. I writhed as it brought me higher and closer to it’s face. It’s body was hot but using the sweat I was soon enough drenched in I managed to slip my arms out. Instantly, I summoned my keyblade.

“Hikari!” I heard Sora in my ear. “I’m coming for you, hold on!”

“Ven!” I croaked, unsure of where he was or if he could even hear me. “Ven, are you there?”

“Left!” I heard his voice and tilted my head back to see him on the bridge rails, slashing at the smaller heartless their leader had summoned once again.

I could feel myself grow more light headed as I was finally faced with the monster, now with only one eerie yellow eye. I straightened to the best of my ability and tried to focus my aim right on target.

“End this!” I yelled and with whatever power was left within me, flames built from my palms. With a jolt of my keyblade, the fire shot through it and straight into the final yellow orb of the heartless.

It released an earth-shattering scream and tumbled back, launching my body back in the process. I went flying, flipping and turning as I struggled to control the sudden gust of air that filled my lungs.

“Hikari!”

My eyes darted to Sora’s as he ran for me.

I reached forward but he was still so far, “Sora!”

My body twirled once more and I was faced with the deep blues of the ocean far beneath me. I tried to think quick but my mind was still a fog.

Suddenly, I was pulled into warmth. Sora’s tan arms wrapped me close into him, giving me a moment to steady my breaths. The creature was screaming in terror but my blurred vision could only try and focus on him.

“Are you all right?” I rasped.

“Yeah,” he clutched onto me closer as I felt one arm drag itself from my lower back. He took the hand I’d clutched onto his shirt and spoke.

“ _Guard_ on three, okay?”

I nodded as he released my hand and I pointed it downwards beneath us. His followed and with a determined smile he counted us down.

“1… 2… 3!”

“Guard!”

There was a crash of the waves and I shut my eyes and hoped for the best. Sora still for a moment before he sprang forward once more and I felt myself spin with him. My arms folded tightly behind his neck when I heard another howl from the beast before he landed.

“Hikari,” he breathed heavy. “It’s over.”

I peeked just in time to see the heatless and it’s smaller counterparts dissipate into the air. He set me down and helped me find balancewith my shaky legs.

“You guys okay?”

I smiled to see Ven jogging towards us and took one sweep of the bridge, not a single heartless in sight.

“We did it,” I cheered, clasping my hands by my chest. “We really did it.”

“Was there ever any doubt?” Sora folded his arms behind his head with a toothy grin just as Ven and I chuckled.

—

“That should be it!”

Ven finished sending our report back to base on his tablet. The streets were filling out again as store owners opened their shop doors and cars road down the roads. Cities were so amazing, even after all that chaos, city-dwellers could go back to normal as if nothing happened. I heard the sirens of few emergency vehicles and watched police cars zip past us and on the way to the bridge. I let out a sigh of relief knowing that they we’d successful destroyed the heartless that was terrorizing them.

Clasping my hands behind my back, a glittery gold sparked my attention. I strolled over to a nearby shop corner and stared into the wide window of the store front. Behind the glass sat on velvet pillows were shimmering jewelry of all shapes, styles and sizes. My eyes rounded as I swept over each piece, amazed by the shimmering adornments.

To the left was a gold bangle that I was especially impressed by. It was thin but too thick to be for a girl’s wrist and engraved with checkered boxes. It was beautiful, probably pricey but I had to have a peek.

“Hey guys,” I called, to immersed in the gold to look at my friends. “I’m just gonna pop in here really quick. I’ll be back!”

—

I stretched as we left the ship. After all that fighting all I wanted to do was get home and sleep. I’d never seen anything as bias the heartless, forget fight. My bones were aching and all I could picture was one of Kairi’s teas and a hot bath. I hoped my roommates weren’t home, we’d hadn’t found the chance to talk about my date with missions and classes going on but I knew both had returned from their’s and if they got the chance the interrogation would begin.

“Oh my god!”

I whisked back to the brunette, “Sora?”

“Roxas!” He exclaimed. “The roof.”

I summoned my keyblade and charged forward, “come on!”


	18. Figure Me Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group race to the roof, Hikari leading the way fearing what awaits her but determined to help Roxas.

My feet carried me faster as my thoughts became increasingly more dangerous. I stormed the building keeping an eye out for any threats. We’d arrived around sunset and the halls were practically empty. I whisked past what few students were still in the halls and charged into the library. I didn’t even hear if the librarian had tried to stop me. My feet stomped up the steps and I travelled down the lanes of books I’d visited often in my stay before reaching the door to the roof. With a grunt I kicked the door open and came out swinging.

“Roxas—!“

I stood bewildered at the sight of Riku, Xion, Axel, and Kairi gawking back at me as the two boys held the staring blond down. Ven and Sora trailed in behind me huffing and puffing as I released my keyblade.

“What’s going on?” I demanded an answer as I left the doorway.

“See Roxas?” Axel smirked. “She does care.”

The blond yanked himself out of Riku and his grasp. He approached me slowly, brows furrowed, only met by my angry glare.

“They said you were hurt,” he muttered.

“You too,” my lips twitched. “The roof…”

“Well now that we’re all here,” Kairi chimed as she came between us. “I’ll confess, I set this up.”

Our eyes glowered at the grinning redhead, clearly pleased with herself.

“You both came here guns blazing for each other,” she explained. “That has to mean something.”

“It doesn’t.”

My eyes widened at his bitter tone. Roxas marched past me and to the door but was blocked by Sora and Ven.

“Don’t be a jerk, Roxas!” Kairi frowned and marched right up to him. “Neither of you are leaving until you sort your shit out, got it?”

She poked at his chest, pupils flared in her anger. His fists clenched but she wouldn’t take her eyes off him, she refused to let him back down.

“Fine,” he huffed. I watched him walk to the edge of the roof and stare out into the city.

“Be nice,” Xion warned the blond before nudging me with a smirk as she and others walked past. I caught Axel wink at me, making me blush as they each made their way out the door. Sora and Ven mouthed their apologies to me but I could only give them a tight-lipped smile.

“Besides,” Kairi took a hold of the doorknob, smiling to me. “You’re the girl he likes.”

My cheeks burned when the door slammed. It was silent between us with only the wind rustling through campus. I clasped my hands behind me. I knew it was only a matter of time before everyone got fed up with us dividing the group. I’d been doing just fine without him, even when I did feel myself desiring to talk to him I forced myself to work through it. Maybe I should have forgave him but he hadn’t done anything to earn it. I still didn’t understand what had him so frustrated to start, if anything I could at least find out that.

I took a deep breath and walked to the edge of the building, standing by him and looking to the city under the late sun’s gaze.

I heard him breath but couldn’t find any words to say to him. I’d never been in a fight like this. Whenever Mari and I fought it always ended with her coming to my room and forcing me forgive her or telling me she’s decided to forgiven me, not to mention we’d never argued as badly as this, not even when we were kids.

“How was your mission?”

“Good,” I mumbled, swinging on my heels. “I got thrown by this big heartless but Sora caught me.”

“Good ol’ Sora.”

“He’s really brave. Ven too.”

And there we were, back to quiet. I didn’t know what to say to start this conversation. As much as I knew it was coming I hadn’t planned for it. When it did come I thought it would be another screaming match, I never pictured this much silence.

“I heard you went on a mission,” I tried to pull on anything to say just to end the quiet. “With Xion and Riku?”

“Halloween Town,” he responded.

Scoffing, I nodded, “must have been hard with those two… Probably had their hands all over each other.”

“You would know.”

I gasped. I was just trying to lighten the mood, joke around like we always did. Was that necessary, even now? He stomped past me and to the door, shaking the knob.

“Are you serious?” I walked up to him when he summoned his keyblade. He gripped the black handle and pointed the long obsidian black metal to the door. It wouldn’t budge and neither would he.

“Fuck,” the blade vanished from his palm. “Let me out guys! This isn’t going to work.”

“Because of you!” I berated him. My feet carried me over to the door but he still wouldn’t look my way. “Tell them it’s because of you!”

He crossed his arms and walked off to the edge of the building. I watched him peer over, honestly considering jumping just to get away from me.

My eyes burned, threatening me with tears, “you never try.”

I saw his eyes widen, an expression of shock before his nostrils flared. That set him off.

“I never try!?” He whisked his head to me as I approached him. “Do you know what it took that night to say no to you?”

“I don’t—“

“Of course you don’t!” He yelled, his blue eyes broadened with rage. “I’ve never wanted anything as bad as I wanted you that night. From the moment I saw you I was a fucking mess and you didn’t help. You in that fucking dress looking the way you do, begging me to be with you but because I said no… Because I said no because I wanted to be sure, you just fucking left me for some other guy! Do you know what that did to me? And then I had to _see_ you the next day. After spending the whole night trying to get a hold of you, worrying about you, thinking about all the the horrible things that could have happened _to_ you; I had to see you in his _clothes_ and look at those bite marks that _he_ left on you, _all_ over you!”

He stalked me down but I was too shocked to move, the memories vaguely tittering in my head.

“But it wasn’t enough for you,” he growled. “It’s never fucking enough for you. So you found someone who’d do all the things I could do and gave them everything that could have been mine if I didn’t care enough about you to want you sober. And what did you do? You went out with him _again_.”

“I—“

“Don’t deny it!” He snapped. “I _saw_ you. I saw him do everything I could do. The way he held you, spoke to you. Shit, how he kissed you. And you let him because I wouldn’t give you what you wanted when you wanted it. Hikari, I would have given you anything. All you had to do was wait.”

He grasped onto my jaw and held my befuddled face in his hands. His forehead touched mine and his agonized blue eyes trapped me.

“If you’d just been patient,” he whispered. “…It would have been me and I would have showed you _why_ it was worth the wait.”

My jaw hung open as I looked for my voice. My lips quivered, trying to process everything I’d heard. He shut his eyes and swallowed back whatever else he was holding in. Roxas was just in so much pain and it was all because of me.

“I was going to say… I don’t remember.”

His eyes flashed open and his skin paled. He released me in an instant and turned to the city. I could see his ears burn pink from behind him and could only imagine his face.

My lips pursed as I racked my mind trying to find the memories of that night and maybe some way to bring him any kind of comfort. I came up with nothing and decided just to find out the truth.

I sat at the edge of the building and looked up to his face actively avoiding mine.

“That whole night is a blur. I’m trying to remember but I need help Roxas.”

He was completely stiff so I reached for his hand and slid my fingers into his palm.

“Please, Roxas.”

It felt like forever before he finally sat with me, hiking a leg up and burying his face in the crook of his arm. He released my hand and slid on the hood of his black sweater.

“You really don’t remember anything?”

“Barely,” I shook my head and scooted closer to him. He didn’t budge and I took his hand to my chest when his eyes finally peered my way.

“I know we made a bet and got into a fight but that’s it. What happened, Roxas?”

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, losing himself in that night.

“You got drunk fast,” he finally answered. “We bet on Axel passing out at the club. You were more focused on dancing and drinking. You really did drink a lot and became… Somebody else.”

As he spoke, images began flashing in my mind. I could remember spinning, shaking, and dancing whenever I wasn’t downing liquor. I saw myself posed for photos and moving in ways I never knew I could, so provocatively my cheeks flushed just at the thought. I hadn’t gone to look for the photos on _Kingstagram_ , even when Mari had teased me about them. I was so angry about our fight I hadn’t wanted to be reminded of that night in any capacity.

“If I hadn’t been there I wouldn’t have believed it,” he continued. “I was worried but you seemed so happy and I started drinking and soon enough we were both so buzzed. Besides some hugging nothing crazy happened. Then I went out and smoked with Axel but when I came back this idiot was pawing at you. I scared him off but like that you looked like you were about to take him on.”

I nodded slowly, recalling the jerk with the orange hair harassing me. My brows knitted while I saw myself turn to Roxas and remembered something about a reward.

“Reward,” it was coming back only in small bits. “I offered you a reward.”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “You, um, well we… Danced.”

This wasn’t enough, I needed more information. Everything was still foggy and from an event from so many weeks ago I had to see it clearly to make him feel better. I was guilt-ridden to know I’d so carelessly hurt him how I did. I had to make it up to him. I hopped to my feet and held my hand down to him, “show me.”

His eyes darted to me, his face shocked. He shook his head, “absolutely not.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be a coward. We have to try.”

He searched my face hoping I would back down but only groaned when he finally took my hand.

“We don’t even have any music,” he grunted.

“Fine,” I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat. I couldn’t remember what had been playing for the life of me but I did know an old dance song that was a favourite of Mari’s that probably carried the same message.

“ _Blindfold, featherbed, tickle me, slippery…_ ” I mused with burning cheeks, facing the fading sun. I glanced at him stand in his black sweatsuit staring at me with his mouth agape. “ _G-spot, nasty pose, in a video…_ ”

“Come on, Roxas,” I groaned but continued. “ _Love machine, by myself, climax, hot wax…_ ”

“This is insane,” he grumbled but still took my hands. He pulled me into his chest as I continued singing. His hips swayed, mine doing the same. I pressed against him slowly as my voice crooned out the dirty lyrics. I rolled my head back against his chest and with closed eyes saw the flashing lights of the club, felt his hands holding me much tighter than they did now.

“ _S &M on the floor, I like it hardcore,_” I sang, My arm crawled behind him and the other gripped onto his hand and forced him to come in closer. “ _I wanna do some dirty things to you tonight…_ ”

My hips seemed to find the rhythm and I turned in his arms. He bit on his lip looking down at me and I whispered, “what happened?”

“We talked about your dress.”

Yes, my dress. I took his hands and placed them on my shoulders, “you told me you liked this part… and this…” I placed them on my waist. “And this part…” Then my face burned cherry red remembering where he’d held me last.

“You made another bet,” he released me before I could continue and took a step back. “You… you wanted to know if I liked you with the dress on or off.”

I hid my face in my hands. That did it, I was never drinking again. The memory hit me almost as hard as the cold air of the setting sky. I’d been so flirtatious, borderline desperate with how badly I lusted for him that night. It was coming back so vividly I felt my heart race once again.

“You put your hand on my face,” my eyes darted to my feet. “And I put you in my mouth…”

“Then I licked you clean,” he admitted.

I felt my body ache right in the same place it did before. I drew my knees together and wrapped my arms over my breasts. Hearing him speak like that was doing something to my body.

“We got interrupted,” I heard him say. “You left for air and then I followed you.”

“Why?”

He sighed and sat back down on the edge of the building. I followed him but still kept my body stiff trying to push down any arousal.

“You seemed frustrated,” he smirked. “Honestly, I was too. We both needed to cool off.”

He was right, I was frustrated. It was like my hormones were finally kicking in.

“So then what?”

“We couldn’t stop touching,” he leaned back on his palms and I examined his perfect profile. “And you _confessed_ somethings.”

“Such as?” Nibbling on my bottom lip I tried to think back to what ridiculous statements I could have declared that night.

“Well, you told me you knew about Namine,” he responded. “Stuff like that.”

I let out a sigh of relief.

“But then you got on my lap.”

My eyes widened, “what?”

He only shut his eyes, a smear of pink across his cheeks. “You told me you were attracted to me, really attracted to me.”

“Oh my god,” my face dived for my hands once again. Oh god, no, this wasn’t happening. Had I really been so bold?

“You took off my shirt,” he breathed. “Said you didn’t want to control it and um…”

I pulled my face from my hands and turned to him. He was just as red as I was looking into my eyes.

“I asked you to make love to me.”

I felt so warm next to him, tingling down below when those words left my mouth. At the time it had been true, I was aching to feel him inside me, to lose it under the stars and plunge into adulthood. Now, I felt so foolish to have been begging for such a thing.

“I said no,” he turned away and spoke quickly. “We fought, you left.”

Now it all made sense. Of course he was mad, I acted like a crazy person. I was hot and cold with him, wanting him so badly one moment and then disappearing the next. Especially when he’d done the right thing. There I was pleading for him thinking it would make me into a woman when he stepped up as a man and declined. And I’d punished him for it. God, I was such an idiot. No wonder he was as angry as he was.

“I’m so sorry,” I took his hand into my lap. “That night I didn’t know what I wanted. I just… I was just acting on my feelings. Thank you for seeing that and looking after me.”

“But what about after?” He asked with knitted brows. “You went out with him, Hikari.”

I didn’t have an answer for that besides it was what I wanted. Almost sleeping with a perfect stranger was totally out of my element so when the chance came to actually get to know Vanitas, how could I resist?

“It felt like the right thing to do.”

“Are you guys…”

“I-I…” now that was something I definitely didn’t have an answer for. “I don’t know, Roxas.”

He was quiet, probably unsure of what to say. I felt the same way, I didn’t know what to tell him. Vanitas and I had just started seeing each other, I didn’t know what to think of this. Besides, Roxas had hurt me so bad that I genuinely believed there was a chance our friendship was over for good. I wanted to give him an easy answer but right now all I knew was I liked Vanitas. He made me feel grown-up and risky, like maybe I couldn’t do everything but it was worth the try.We hadn’t exactly talked about our feelings, maybe we should have, I don’t know.

“I have to tell you something,” my voice was low but stern. “In my room… when you pulled at my shirt—“

“I know,” he muttered, refusing to meet my eye. “I never should have done that. I’m sorry.”

Well that was… Short. I’d prepared an entire lecture in my mind for when the time came but now I just felt empty but just the slightest bit better. The shame on his face was clear, he’d clearly been upset about his actions so at least he acknowledged it was wrong.

“So… who won?” I asked with an awkward smile.

“You did.”

I nodded slowly, unsure of what to say next. I had my answers and we’d apologized to one another but the atmosphere still felt heavy. What else was there?

“About your _date_ … You should find out,” he sighed. “And when you know where you stand I want to be the first to know.”

“Why?”

He pulled our hands from my lap and brought it to his lips, “so we can figure this out.”

I gazed at him for a moment before turning to the sky. What was there to figure out? What was there to understand? They both made me happy in different ways, why couldn’t we just keep up that momentum? Maybe that was a selfish thought, only worrying about my own happiness but it was for the best. Roxas had just gotten out of a complicated relationship, he needed something simple to keep him on the right path but complex to keep him interested. I wasn’t that.

“We were intoxicated,” I replied sternly. “I shouldn’t have said that. I would never say it if I was sober or do those things to you… I’m really sorry.”

His eyes reached the sky as he released my hand. I brought it gingerly to my chest and watched him hoist his leg up. He was silent, all I could hear was his faint breathing. Was he still angry with me? I would be. But I knew what was best for him. He didn’t really want me, he couldn’t.

“Yeah?”

“Hm?”

“You wouldn’t have done any of that if you were sober?” He still wouldn’t look at me but I kept my eyes on him.

I nibbled my lip,”none.”

“…Okay.” I watched Roxas rise from his seat, putting an end to the conversation.

“Wait,” I reached out to him but he swiped his hand away immediately. “A-are you still mad at me?”

Roxas shoved his hands in his pockets, a crease on his brow and an empty look on his face.

“No.”

“So we’re friends again, then?” His distance made me uncomfortable. He wouldn’t give me any indication on where we stood physically, forcing me to ask directly.

“Yeah,” with that he turned his back on me and headed out the door. “Just friends.”

—

I opened the door of my dorm, completely aloof to my roommates sitting on our couch in anticipation.

“Well?” I heard Kairi say. “How’d it go?”

I turned to them and smiled before settling between the girls.

“Well, I think.”

“You think?” Xion asked.

“He still seems pretty mad,” I answered honestly. “But not at me anymore at least.”

Xion and Kairi looked to one another before Kairi shrugged with a pathetic smile, “well at least we were able to keep the librarian at bay from all the commotion. If it’s better than before then it was worth it.”

The raven-haired girl sighed and leaned back into the couch.

“Typical Roxas. He’s jealous.”

“Jealous?” I repeated. “Of what?”

The two stared back at me, dumbfounded by my question but I waited eagerly for an answer.

“Hikki,” Xion spoke slowly, almost as if to be making fun of me. “He likes you.”

“More than a friend,” Kairi chirped.

Immediately I shook my head, earning a groan from them both, “he doesn’t. He can’t.”

“He does,” Xion responded. “I would know, I’m his best friend.”

“Well, has he told you? Like directly.”

“Well no but you know Roxas, he’d rather drown than admit something like that.”

I nodded slowly, she was right about that. The blond would swear from heaven to earth that he didn’t even know how to spell feelings, forget having them.

“I think, like that, I just pushed him too far,” my hands clasped together on my lap. “We were both out of it but I was really lost and it’s not like I’m not attracted him. I think he’s beautiful but that plus the drinking… My hormones were out of control. I sent mixed signals and I feel like shit for it.”

“So you don’t like him?” Kairi asked with a raised brow.

“I’m kind of seeing someone right now…”

“See?” Xion gleamed. “Why is that the first thing you answered with?”

The redhead agreed adamantly. “If someone asked me that I’d just say no. No other explanation needed.”

I stared between them. I didn’t have an answer for my response. It was true, Vanitas and I were seeing each other so why hadn’t I just said no?

“Just something to consider,” Xion shrugged.

My brows creased as I thought it through but quickly chose to change the subject, “well I just hope I didn’t embarrass you guys too much.”

“Not at all, Hikki,” Kairi grinned. “Could be worse, at least you didn’t pass out like Axel.”

“What?”

The two girls sniggered as Xion spoke up, “yeah but guess who had to carry him back?”

“Wait, sorry,” the two paused looking at my concern. “Did you say he passed out?”

Kairi nodded, “yeah but it’s Axel. Kinda saw it coming.”

As she and Xion laughed all I could think about was one thing: why had Roxas lied?

—

My eyelids were heavy but my skin was warm. I curled in the light and felt a gentle breeze across my face. Slowly, I opened my eyes to see bushes of leaves above me with speckling light coming through the cracks.

“Huh?” I sat up to explore my surroundings. The forest I’d found myself in was dense with trees of green leaves and deep brown wood. It was riddled with lush bushes and colourful flowers. The atmosphere was a soft one with the breeze and chirps of birds to keep me company. Still, I had to get out.

Finding myself on my feet I chose to head forward and try to find a way to maneuver through this field. Despite the peaceful layout, I found myself grow nervous with each endless twist and turn as I tried to find some kind of life. I hadn’t even come across animals even though I could hear them. What was this place and how did I get here?”

“Hikari!”

“Sora?” I spun in circles trying to find the call of the brunette. Finally, my eyes honed in on him a few feet away also searching for me.

“Sora!” I called with a flail of my arm in the air. “Over here!”

His blue eyes finally met mine when he jogged over.

“Hikari!” He took me into his arms and my eyes widened in confusion. Unsure of how to move I looped mine around his neck.

“I looked everywhere for you.”

“W-what?” I pressed my hands to his chest in a poor attempt to get some distance between us but it did no good. “Sora, what’s going on?”

A thunderous roar vibrated through the forest, followed by a heavy crash to the ground. My balance wavered but Sora held me up right. I cowered back into the brunette but whisked my head about to find the source. Another crash and an even louder roar, it was getting closer. My eyes peered as I tried to summon my keyblade. There was no spark. I glared down at my trembling fingers but my palm remained empty.

“My keyblade…”

“Me too,” Sora’s brows furrowed. There was another bellowing scream and we both turned at it’s directions. It was finally narrowing to one place but to my horror where the sound emerged, rot followed. An inky black and dark purple substance crawled it’s way towards us, turning what was once a forest filled with life into decay. I gasped, astonished when I felt Sora tug on my hand.

“Come on!”

Sora flung us into action and we ran as fast as our legs could carry us to escape the sewage. I wouldn’t dare look back and with our power inaccessible I was frightened. We ducked and dived through wild branches and rustling leaves but the threat of whatever was behind us was always nearby.

Glancing at Sora I could see that stern resolve he always had in situations like this. He may have been scared but he kept it together for my sake. I had to be strong for him too. As my calves burned and my heart throbbed I just had to keep running faster to lessen his burden. He shouldn’t always have had to save me, I could fight too.

“Light, look!”

My eyes flickered to where he pointed. Finally, bright blues and puffy whites awaited us at the end of this path and even better too as the roars were painfully near.My feet thudded harder on the ground making our way up the hill to the clearing. My heart almost burst at the sight of open air. The path stopped, it was a cliff. There was nothing we could do now.

“Sora, it’s a dead end!”

He wouldn’t stop, he just kept moving forward. With his heavy grasp I had no choice but to be dragged along. I called for him once more, looking for his eyes, hoping to plead with him. Sora grinned, an almost manic smile and with a blink those orbs glistened in gold.

“Trust me, Hikari.”

The wind fought against us, trying to push us from the edge as if to save us or end us. But with hands interlaced tight with one another we leaped into the cold air.

An alarm chimed, shaking me violently out of my sleep. I was back in my room, not a leaf or Sora insight. I shuddered and wrapped my arms around myself. My mind had been all over the place but I’d chalked it up to nerves. What was this? I was happy now. My mission was a success, my friends and I were back to our usual ways; what on earth had me so… broken?


	19. Saw You In A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas and Hikari embark on their first mission together along with Sora and Kairi. With tension already riddled in the air and an unclear line as to where they stand, how will the group manage?

_ROXAS_

“So soon?” Kairi pouted.

I’d been called into Aqua’s office once again and was surprised to find Sora, Kairi, and Hikari already there. Quickly she informed us of yet another mission we’d been summoned for in Atlantica.

Since I’d arrived last I was stuck sitting on Aqua’s small couch next to Hikari while Kairi and Sora took the two chairs across her wooden oak desk. Her office was pretty cramped, covered in maps, books, and an alchemist’s table shrouded in herbs and glass bottles in the corner. I did my best to pay attention but with the pretty redhead sitting so close to me our thighs touched I couldn’t help but be distracted.

We’d only apologized to one another about two days ago but I went out of my way to still avoid her. This included ignoring all her texts and not responding to a thing she said in the group chat as well as skipping lunch with our friends and practically running into Worlds’ History at the last moment and running out of it at the first. Even though we’d “made up” I’d only done it for their sake and the fact I felt like shit over ripping that shirt off her. Otherwise, I didn’t have a word I wanted to say to her or even want to be near her.

I was still hurt, maybe worse than before because now I knew that the same Hikari who’d investigated me so thoroughly through social media to figure out my birthday plans was the same one who would have never wanted me. Well fine, it wasn’t like I wanted her anyway. It was just as she’d said: we were just attracted to each other. That was completely normal. But to have feelings for her? Romantic feelings? Completely out of the question. I didn’t want her. I didn’t need her either. If she wanted to be friends then that’s exactly what she would get from me.

“Unfortunately,” Aqua replied, bringing me out of my thoughts once more. “Hikari?”

“Yes Master Aqua?”

“You’re underwater so with your powers…”

I caught the grin forming on the redhead’s lips.

“Don’t worry, I’ll… I’ll bring the light.”

Aqua nodded with a sympathetic smile before turning to all of us.

“We’re suspecting it’s a heartless but honestly, we have no idea what’s causing these earthquakes,” Aqua sighed as she concluded the briefing. “Sorry to call on you all so late but try and get a good night’s rest. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at 8AM for take off. You’re dismissed.”

We all rose and bowed before making our way out of the office. I pulled my phone from the pocket of my sweats, it was only 10PM. I could probably get a bit more reading done before passing out.

“Roxas?”

A frown spread across my lips. Not now. I turned to find Hikari with a small smile behind me, hands clasped over her chest and as adorable as always. My guess was she’d been on her way to bed as her long hair had been braided and pulled to her side and she was in a dark red sweater dress. It swallowed her whole, sliding off her shoulders and the hem only at her mid thigh. She must not have had time to get properly dressed as those stunning sun-kissed legs were bare, a rare sight. I shook my head and narrowed my eyes. I couldn’t get distracted. I had to keep her at a distance. We were friends; _just_ friends.

“Yeah?”

She approached me, not at all deterred by my rudeness. I flinched and took a step back, I wouldn’t let her get any closer.

She pouted but I wouldn’t give. “I was wondering if I could talk to you…”

My arms crossed over my chest. What could she possibly want to tell me that she hadn’t already? Was being friends too much for her now too? I doubted her new, mysterious _boyfriend_ would be okay with us even talking.

“No,” my voice was firm but I quivered when I saw the disappointment on her face. “I’ll pass, thanks.”

With that, I stormed back to my dorm, eager to get away from her as quickly as possible.

Whether her feelings were hurt or not, I didn’t care anymore, I couldn’t. I just had to keep reminding myself of that. When I finally reached my dorm I threw myself on the sofa in the living room, suddenly the will to read was no more. I was brooding on the couch when Sora appeared from the front door about twenty minutes later.

“Oh God,” he sat in one of the single seaters. “What’s wrong?”

“Why would there be something wrong?” I frowned.

“Because you’re glaring at a blank screen,” he gestured towards the TV I hadn’t realized I’d never turned on. My frowned deepened as I wished I had a hoodie on to hide in.

“So, what’s up?” Sora leant back in his seat. “Why aren’t you with Hikki? I was expecting you two to be concocting some plan to overthrow King Triton on your first mission together.” He held out his hand, looking into air dramatically. “Roxas, God of the Seven Seas!”

I shrugged, “I’m busy.”

“Doing what? Missing Hikari?”

I casted a cold glare towards the brunette but he only glared right back.

“I thought you guys made up.”

“We did.”

“Yet you’re _still_ avoiding her.”

The last thing I needed was to be questioned by Sora. He wouldn’t get it. Sora and Kairi were happily together, practically joined at the hip. They’re relationship had time to develop, even when they were apart. Hikari and I… Well, we were complicated. She’d quickly become one of my closest friends because we got along so well but that night just changed everything. Something was off and I just didn’t know how to get us back on course. Hell, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

Groaning, I rose from the couch, “I’m going to bed.”

“Seriously, Roxas?” Sora followed me as I made my way down the hall. “Just talk to me, you know you want to.”

My eyes rolled as I approached my room. “ _Goodnight_ Sora.”

With that I went inside and locked the door behind me.

I’d sooner be made a nobody again before I talked to anybody about my Hikari problem.

—

There was a chill in the air that forced my eyes open.

Above me was a dark sky filled to the brim with stars. I sat up, enthralled to find myself in a dim room, only the stars to light my vision. Beneath me was a plush bed, filled to the brim with sheets and pillows. My hands moved to my torso only to find I was shirtless when I heard a stirring. Laid down so peacefully was Hikari. Her waist length red hair lay neatly braided by her shoulder and her skin glistened from the stars.

Her shoulders were bare which made me blush immediately. I considered leaving the bed when those eyes flickered open. She smiled so sweetly, “baby… what are you doing up? It’s the middle of the night.”

“Baby?” I repeated, unable to hide my confusion.

She giggled, “yes my love. Lay back down, you know I need you to fall asleep.”

Cautiously I dragged my body back down on the bed. She cuddled in close to me with a tender hand on my chest. Hikari smiled brightly, lovingly even as she tangled herself with my body.

“Hikari, are you all right?”

“Of course my love,” she giggled. “I just miss you already.”

Before I could question her further, her hand slithered down my chest and to my groin. A sharp breath left my lips as her slim fingers wrapped around my manhood and those sultry eyes studied me.

“H-Hikki…”

“Shh,” her curvy body rolled onto mine with only a thin, silk nightgown between us. “I know you miss me too.”

She squeezed me quickly, earning another grunt and chuckled again. My hands found their way onto her hips but before I could pull her off, she kneeled above me, both hands on the hem of that skirt.

“Baby,” she teased with a roll of her hips and I felt her slickness. I could feel my body burning up just watching her. Her legs were spread above me and the light of the stars outlined her hourglass frame. She held the edge of that nightgown so lazily, teasing me further. She looked so seductive with a bite of her lip and a sway of her hips.

“Tell me you love me,” Hikari mused as all my blood rushed further down south. “Tell me you love me and I’ll make you a god.”

“A god…?” My mind was spinning in circles from the arousal. “Hikari, wha—”

“I can do that you know,” her voice echoed. “I can bring the heavens, bring the light. Make me your light my love.”

I shook my head, “n-no…”

“Tell me you love me,” she demanded.

“Hikari…”

“Tell me,” her eyes pleaded as she grounded deeper into my crotch. What was with her? She wasn’t making any sense. This had to be a dream, she’d never begged like this. Not for anything.

“I… I can’t.”

“Sora—“

“Sora?”

My body flew back and landed hard against the wood panelled floor. I cringed and slowly opened my eyes to the sight of the brunette with brown spiky hair over Hikari. He stripped her from the flimsy nightgown and knelt deeper into her. My heart felt as if it would tear to shreds but my feet carried me over to the sight of his lips pressed to hers in a now naked embrace.

“Sora…” she moaned his name.

“You know I love you right?” He whispered. “I love you, Hikari. More than anything.”

My body was shaking. I had to escape but when I found the will to move I was frozen.

“Will you make love to me then?” She asked, cheeks flushed and her arms wrapped around his neck. “Once more?”

He pecked her lips, “always.”

Gravity forced me to my knees while an unknown force made me watch this mess unfold. He lowered himself against her and she shivered with a haste breath before opening those eyes again to stare up at him. Sora kissed her softly, resting his chest upon Hikari’s and lowering his forearms by her head. The sheets shuffled as I realized she’d crossed her legs around his waist as he slowly began to rock into her. His kisses grew rougher, soon enough peppering her skin in purplish bruises.

I fought against my stillness but my body would not writhe. I couldn’t even close my eyes for a moment of solace when I’d hear her moan from the friction between them. Gradually, he thrusted deeper and deeper into her and she fought back, encouraging him the whole way between the passionate kisses they shared.

“Harder,” she begged. “Please, ah! You feel so good, Sora!”

My heart was racing, anger building but I remained chained.

“You’re so tight Light,” he jolted, throwing his head back. “God, I love you.”

“I love you, Sora,” she mused almost incoherent. She was so lost in whatever ecstasy he was providing her she could barely keep her eyes open.

She left marks on his back and shoulders with her clawed nails as he went faster. They were so fucking loud, pounding into one another and screaming about just how good the other felt or their love for each other. I could feel my eyes water but nothing came out, no tears, no cries; I just watched the horror unfold.

“I’m… there… Sora,” her voice cooed from the pleasure. “Ah, I’m there.”

He leaned into her ear “who do you want, Hikari? Who do you love?”

Her head whisked in my direction. My widened eyes gawked at her narrowed one’s and the cruel smile on those lips.

“You. I love you, Sora.”

Just like that, he dragged her back into him with a powerful kiss. They pulsed together in it and I felt the room spin. My body shook along with their’s, my vision clouded and finally, I was released from the pressure and thrown backwards.

I sprang up from my bed covered in a cold sweat. My room was dark, a slight chill coming from my open window. I peered past the dark curtain to get a quick glance at the moon and still my heart.

“Another one,” I muttered. It wasn’t my first dream about the redhead but to see Sora with her like that… That was new.

What kind of dream was that? I was at a loss for how vivid and perverse it was. I felt ashamed and angry thinking back to how the two had looked at one another. It was the worst when Hikari had turned to me as if to taunt me for watching, rubbing it in my face that she didn’t care about me. But why Sora? I knew the two had been talking a lot but he had Kairi. Was something going on between them? But then who was the guy on the bike?

I fell back hard not my sheets and shut my eyes, it wasn’t my problem anymore. I had to not care.

—-

The ride had been manageable. I kept my headphones in and ignored the others when I could. When I couldn’t I just kept my answers brief. Hikari had taken a notice to my behaviour as I’d heard her whisper to Kairi asking if I was still mad. The two had gotten extra quiet then and when I peered back I noticed them both frantically texting.

As curious as I was, I kept my eyes forward and mouth shut.

Upon reaching the world we were struck with turbulence which Sora had warned us of prior to. Atlantica was a reckless world to settle in, honestly painful too. But when the time came we all made our way to the port towards the back of the ship. It was a white outlined square in the corner made to drop in right into the heat of battle as the ship flew on autopilot. However, worlds with such a drastic form change required a drop as well so as Sora gave the count we stood aside waiting for him to push the button.

“Remember, it’s a big fall guys,” he grinned and unlatched the glass protecting the control. “But it’s a hell of a ride.”

I rolled my eyes as the girls giggled. I was determined to get out of this goddamn ship ASAP. He finally hit the button and the door slid open.

Gusts of wind rushed inside through the small space, making as all take a step back. The girls clung to their skirts as Sora and I reddened. Before anyone else could go I stepped forward.

“I’ll go first.”

“Right,” I heard Sora agree. “See you down there.”

One more step and I plunged feet first into the morning sky. The wind engulfed me as I fell further and further down, only the sight of the peeking sun, white clouds, and blues of the sky. My body was weightless, at the mercy of the elements and soon enough I was pointed downwards, head to the ocean. It was almost tranquil and I couldn’t help but shut my eyes.

Until I heard Sora yelling joyfully nearby. I caught the brunette sinking by my side. He saw my glare but tossed me a goofy smile before forcing himself to fall faster.

A smirk fell to my lips just as Kairi came swinging behind him, pointed downwards to the water like a diver. I chuckled at her smile as she blissfully made her way down.

My mind wandered to Hikari despite my attempts to avoid them. Soon enough she came flying down, face to the ocean. Her hair spiralled wildly about her, a small smile on her lips and eyes looking to me. My heart raced and I panicked. I forced myself to fall faster to escape her. I fell further and further, quicker than before and plunged into the ocean.

I slammed into the waters, a painful slap across my torso but I could hardly focus on that as I felt myself tingle within my clothes. Tumbling into the deep waters, I was captured in a current much too difficult to swim through. I struggled to catch my breath as I fought to grab a hold of something. I fell further and in the frenzy peeked to see a small hole down this narrow chute. I braced myself for impact and clutched onto the grey ledge before I could be swept down under. I managed to haul myself over and finally caught my breath. My eyes glanced down to what were my legs before but now here I was, bare chested with a black fin with a white underbelly. I sighed, Atlantica had never been my favourite spot.

“Roxas!”

Quickly, I looked up the current to find Kairi tumbling down.

“Kairi!” I held out my hand and managed to catch hers just as she plunged down the current. I drug her over and led her out of the canal towards much calmer waters. Even though I wasn’t a fan of this world, I couldn’t deny how beautiful the ocean was; various shades of blue, colourful reefs, plants, and fish at every corner, and massive stones carved into wild shapes as far as the eye could see.

“I love this place,” Kairi chimed, breaking my thoughts. I watched her swim to the nearest group of fish, a school of clownfish who scattered at her presence. She was grinning from ear-to-ear, completely mystified in her new form. Like myself, she had a fin but hers was scaled, glittering in different variations of pinks and reds with two light pink seashells on her chest.

Blushing, I changed the subject, “where’s Sora?”

“Kairi, Roxas!”

Like he’d been summoned Sora came swimming, keyblade in hand with a blue fin similar to my own.

“You guys okay?”

“Yeah,” I answered. “You?”

His keyblade flashed in his palm and disappeared, “nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Well, that solves one mystery,” Kairi responded. “Now where’s Hikki?”

Immediately we began to search for some sign of the long-haired redhead but she was nowhere in sight. We were surrounded by coral, large rocks, and plenty of pretty little fish but I couldn’t see weirdgirl anywhere.

I sighed, “maybe she—“

“Hikari!”

Before I could even spot her, Sora sprung into action, charging above us. We could barely see the redhead in the mass of bubbles surrounding her as she fell towards a rock jutting out of some stone.

Sora managed to snatch Hikari just in time. Carrying her in his arms, similar to a groom holding his bride, he swam back to us. Kairi and my faces were red from both embarrassment and jealousy but the two airheads were clueless.

“That was close,” Sora grinned, looking down at her in his arms.

Chuckling, she nodded, “you saved me again, Sora. If you keep this up I’ll have to add you to my will.”

The two laughed at what probably was just mindless jokes to them but looked like flirting to us.

The brunette released her and she began canvassing herself. She was beautiful, her long red hair floated around her like waves and her curves were suited for this mermaid form. Her fin was similar to Kairi’s only in various violets and a shelled bra that did it’s very best to pin back her large breasts.

My eyes couldn’t tear away at Hikari. That hourglass figure, the hair, those lips; she looked like something from a fairytale. Somehow her violet-blues were even more captivating and her smile made me skin tingle. There was an urge to touch her, to feel her silly skin and run my hands over the scales of her fin to see what it did to her. I tried my best, I really did but after I’d thought I’d looked enough my eyes would find somewhere else to survey. Currently it was her slim neck and delicate collar bones that led to that hefty cleavage that had me entranced.

“This is amazing…” she mumbled, twirling and flipping over to see herself in every angle possible. I watched the way her hips shimmered in that tail, her flat stomach twist and turn as she looked back at what used to be that perky ass of hers before wrapping her arms over her chest as her cheeks flushed, clearly embarrassed by the cleavage she had on display.

“I can’t wait to tell Mari.”

“Are you okay, Hikki?” Kairi swam towards her, giving her a quick look over like a mother would her child.

She nodded, “are you? I can’t believe we got separated.”

“I know but at least we’re all here,” Kairi grinned, taking Hikari’s hands in her own. She turned to Sora and I enthusiastically.

“So, how do we look, guys?”

I could feel the redness of Sora’s face radiating off my own. They looked adorable but I wasn’t going to tell them that, especially Hikari. I scratched at my head as Sora rubbed the back of his neck. It didn’t help that the two were pressed so close together their shells clashed. I’d never been so grateful to be missing my legs.

“Great,” Sora finally managed to say. They turned to me and I looked away quickly once I caught Hikari’s batting lashes.

“Really great,” I muttered as quietly as possible.

I heard the two girls giggle and rolled my eyes.

“We should split up and get started looking for clues.”

“Right!” Sora agreed. “Well, Hikari and I can—“

“Actually,” Kairi interrupted. “Let’s make it boys against girls, hm?”

She winked at the brunette who blushed, making me sneer. She was definitely jealous but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t grateful for her proposal.

“Sounds good,” I ran a hand through my hair. “You guys head east, we’ll go west and meet back here when we find something.”

Sora tilted his head to Hikari who only shrugged in response as Kairi dragged her away.

—

Sora and I had been searching for about fifteen minutes for some sign of this big bad heartless that had been terrorizing the underground city but were coming up short. We’d only found a few peculiar scratches upon some rocks leading no where in particular. I wasn’t very focused on searching though as Sora spoke on and on about some movie I’d never seen. I grew impatient, not particularly about him, I was used to him rambling when he got excited. It was about my dream.

When I’d seen him and Hikari holding on to one another, giggling together so closely, all I could see was them kissing. Was the chemistry between them always there and I’d missed it or was my dream clouding my vision? Sora had Kairi, there was no way he’d see Hikari like that.

But what if he did? What was I to do then? I just needed to find out, point blank.

“Do you like her?”

Sora turned back to me with an expression of confusion.

“What?”

“Do you like her?” I repeated, sternly.

“Who? Kai—“

“Hikari, Sora.”

“Do I like Hikari?”

There was a tremble in the air, completely knocking us off course. Keyblades ready we searched for the source when a boulder came plummeting towards us. We swam from it’s path but below where it must have been, heartless in the shape of angular fish coloured in blues, reds, and purples came spewing out.

There was no time to talk, we had to handle this first.

Sora and I jumped into action. We flung at the heartless, breaking them down with each swing of our keyblades. I’d never tell him but I enjoyed fighting with Sora. Due to our history we were always in sync. Even in this form we were battering the heartless down with ease.

I spun my keyblades around my body, whirling them to cut through the beasts that surrounded me. We were nearing the end of the battle and with a spell of thunder, they evaporated from my sight.

“You okay?” Sora asked, swimming back to me. “Where’d they come from?”

“I’m good,” I pointed to the hole that had once been blocked by the boulder. “Let’s check it out.”

Sora and I began our trip towards the sea floor to investigate. Even though this was important, we still had somethings to discuss.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I mean, yeah, I like her,” he responded mindlessly. “She’s my friend. We’ve actually gotten kind of close. Did you know she likes action movies? Like the old school, martial arts ones I like? We were texting and she made this joke about _Night Spirit: Land of the Ghosts_ so we got talking about movies and she sent me this list of her favourites and we were almost tied.”

Now, I was annoyed. Was he avoiding the question? Had something happened? Why couldn’t he just be direct? Maybe my dream wasn’t just a dream. What if it had been a vision? It was crazy to think but I couldn’t stop the paranoia from building.

“Do you want to have sex with her, Sora?” I snipped.

Sora gawked back at me. He froze in place, staring at my bitter gaze with flushed cheeks. “What? No, oh my g—No! I mean it’s not like she’s ugly cause she’s really not. She’s beautiful. I’ve even had a dream or two about her. God, I had this really dirty one about her last night, geez it’s probably cause I ate that canned ham and now my dreams are all—“

“What?”

“No! Like it happens, I’ve had dreams about everyone. Even you once… Not like that though! It’s normal, right? Like everyone has—“

“Sora…” Groaning, I glared which silenced him immediately. “Do you want to be with her?”

He let out a deep breath and shook his head. Finally, the answer I really wanted.

“It’s just…” his eyes lowered. “Being with Kairi all the time I get so nervous I’ll mess things up somehow. Things have been really great and I just don’t want it to stop.”

My forehead creased as I looked into his saddened blue eyes. I knew the feeling of trying to be so perfect for someone you cared so deeply about. It was like that when I was with Namine. I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“She’s with you because you’re a screw-up,” I smirked. “Don’t stop now.”

He nudged my rib and I only met his grin with my own.

“Why do you care?”

“About?”

“Me and Hikki?” He questioned. “I mean, what if I do like her? Like that.”

“You don’t.”

“But what if I _do_?”

I could feel him sneer but refused to look back at him. I crossed my arms in defiance.

“Then I’d have to tell Kairi.”

“Oh man,” I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. “Guess we better tell her.”

My skin paled and I heard him burst out into laughter. I could kill him if I didn’t need him for this mission. Sora began lazily swimming ahead and I followed still giving him the dirtiest look I could muster.

“Stop messing around.”

“Messing around?” He laughed. “No way, man! I’m hopelessly, endlessly in love with Hikki and there’s nothing you can do about it. Unless… You want to do something about it.”

“Pfft,” I rolled my eyes. “Why would I? You’re the one having dirty dreams about her.”

“It’s was like a handful of times!” He whined.

My jaw dropped, “a handful?”

“Shut up! And I told you, it was the ham! Who even buys canned ham?”

“Axel.”

“Of course,” the brunette groaned but smiled quickly. “And it’s not like you don’t have dreams about her.”

Blushing, I answered quickly, “I don’t.”

“Oh come on! I’ve heard you!”

“What?”

“Yup,” he nodded. “Sometimes when you pass out on the couch I’ll stroll by and hear you whispering her name.”

My mind flashed to the dreams I could recall her in before this one. I had been dreaming about her since around the time we went to the Nightingale. It had been nothing wild, maybe seeing her in passing or being lost and feeing her presence. I’d had dreams about my friends before, even the girls. But after our fight it was becoming a constant and they were far more vivid and often intimate.

“They sound like some _pretty_ nice dreams too.”

“Shut up.”

Before this nightmare with Sora I’d seen her strung up against a wall bathed in light. In my mind I’d walked down a dark path towards a glimmer of light. When I finally reached it I’d realized it was Hikari, completely nude but encased in light. It was like ribbons across her breasts and hips and she was writhing, eyes closed in some kind of ecstasy. I’d called out for her and in a flash her eyes opened. She floated below, landing on her bare feet and walked slowly towards me, not saying a word. I didn’t know how I felt, aroused or afraid but when she reached me she’d taunted me for not making a move. We argued but no matter how much I snapped she stayed cool. Then she’d brought him up, whatever asshole she’d given herself to and just as she did the darkness began to engulf her.

I tried to pull her out but it was like she was always out of my reach. And all though she twisted and moaned during it, her eyes appeared fearful. The last thing I saw was those eyes before I woke up.

I shook my head as we entered the dark opening, I had to focus. The waters here felt colder and it became clear once we say a narrow tunnel leading down.

“Come on,” I swam past Sora and further below into the ocean. The pressure increased the further down I got but I only swam harder. Sora was right behind and we sunk into the darkness.

“You see anything?”

“No,” I muttered. “But I think we’re get— Wait…”

There was a shimmer of light just ahead. It had to be an opening to the tunnel.

“I see something,” I alerted the brunette and with a few more strides we passed through to find ourselves in a large cave. Against the rocky walls were strange glowing green orbs.

“What is that?” Sora questioned before swimming to it.

I shrugged and followed, “no idea but they have to be what’s causing the quaking, right?”

“Just trust me, something’s here.”

We turned back to see Hikari swim through another hole in the wall, much higher than the one we’d come through. She was dragging Kairi behind who took notice and pointed us out to her.

“Sora, Roxas,” she grinned as they approached. “Looks like we tied.”

“Just in time,” Hikari muttered before peering at the orb. “So what do we ha—“

Suddenly, the mysterious green ball began to glow, in fact, all of them were. We pulled back just in time for a beam to shoot from the orb. A quick glance and it was clear they were all blasting lasers, all pointed into the ground. I summoned my keyblades; I didn’t know what was coming but we had to be ready.

The cave trembled and I heard the others summon their weapons as well. My eyes narrowed on the spot, something was coming.

“Ready?” I muttered. The others gave various gestures of approval and I took a deep breath.

A curved claw covered in deep violets and golds burst from the ocean floor. We shielded ourselves from the dirt and debris just as a thick smog filled the den.

“Guys,” I heard Hikari call. “Go for the heartless, I can handle the orbs.”

“You sure?” Sora replied.

“Yeah, as soon as the smoke clears, go for it.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. Once the smog faded we were faced with a giant, clawed beast, similar to a crab but with a row of spikes going down it’s spine and topped with more orbs.

“Come on!” I jumped into action, Sora and Kairi right behind me. The heartless may have been big but it was confined in this space, perfect for us to attack from all angles.

“Take the claws, I’m going for it’s back!”

“Right!”

“Got it!”

The current may have been rough but with the monster distracted by the other two, it gave me the opportunity to sneak behind it. There were eight of the green balls of light on it’s back. They had to do something but there was no time to figure that out. I struck with as much malice I could muster. A claw struck back but I dodged it and continued to pulverize the orbs before me. A quick blizzard spell and it burst to smoke.

“Duck!”

I cowered back at the sound of Kairi’s command. The orbs shimmered and instantly, I barricaded myself with a guard spell. There was a flash of light and a heavy pressure met by my shield but it hadn’t’ knocked me out yet.

“How are the orbs coming?” Sora shouted for Hikari working again to dismantle a claw.

“Not good! We need to knock it out and try to get rid of these things.”

“Bet,” Sora reached towards Kairi. “Kairi!”

She nodded and dove straight to him, “Sora!”

They clasped hands and twirled, forming a blinding light. One Heart, good idea Sora. I shielded my eyes only listening for the final blow. Upon hearing it, I peeked and caught the heartless knocked out cold. Perfect.

Instantly I charged up my keyblades and unleashed powerful lasers straight to it’s spine. Now it only had four remaining but I noticed it tremble.

“It’s getting up!” I called for the others.

“Brace yourselves!” Kairi commanded.

I readied my stance and glared down at the creature as it found it’s footing. With it significantly weakened we’d definitely be able to finish it off now.

—

The rest of the fight was a breeze thanks to Sora and Kairi and after scoping the sea and alerting the officials the threat was gone, we were back on land in one piece.

Sora was whining of hunger when we got back to the ship so Kairi suggested hitting up the nearest town to see if they could grab us something to eat during the ride back. Hikari volunteered to send in our report back on the ship. Between staying with her or watching Sora and Kairi make stupid faces at each other I’d rather hang out here with her. Even if they had kept their distance I knew that would not stop them from questioning me about Hikari. I could hardly take Sora’s teasing so having him _and_ Kairi gang up on me was not how I wanted to spend my time away from base.

“And… Done,” she folded up her tablet and stuffed it back into the pouch of her dress.

“Hm,” I turned back to my phone and scrolled through _Kingstagram_. Pictures upon pictures flung by just as notifications chimed to let me know who was interacting with my page. Since becoming single it was like the damn thing was always going off with name upon name of random girls liking my photos. The attention was suffocating. Maybe I should have made my account private? But what’s the point when your entire campus is already following you.

I continued to scroll when I noticed Kairi had just posted a picture of her and Sora grinning from ear-to-ear by a fruit cart. Sora held two watermelons up by his chest while Kairi in the foreground giggled. Of course those two were just clowning around. Why would I have expected anything different?

“Seriously?” I groaned.

“What’s wrong?”

My eyes flickered towards her. She’d swivelled her chair around to look back at me in the center seat. Hikari stared at me, concern in those wide eyes and I dropped mine back to my phone.

“Nothing,” I mumbled. “Kairi and Sora are just goofing off.”

I had to keep my answers short with her.

“Oh,” I heard her giggle. “Sending them for food probably wasn’t our brightest idea.”

I only shrugged in response. Just because we were stuck back here together didn’t mean we actually had to talk. I had nothing to say to her and I wasn’t going to start.

“Roxas…”

Her tone was soft and I knew she was going to drag me into a conversation. Quickly, I rose from my seat.

“I need air.”

I made my way to the control panel, hit a few switches and quickly exited the ship. My feet hit the pale yellow sand and I was instantly surrounded by the smell of the fresh ocean water carried by a gentle breeze. Although the late afternoon sky was a bit cloudy the scenery was gorgeous. I glanced behind me to see the rugged path though the dense forest Sora and Kairi must’ve taken to get to the market. It was too late to search for them now so I resigned to sitting at the edge of the beach.

I slipped from my shoes and socks and perched myself right along the shore. The water was cold but refreshing as the gentle waves hit my toes. Coming out for air had definitely been a good idea. Resting my arms on my bent knees I kept my eyes on the horizon before I heard the doors of the ship.

Tilting my head back I watched Hikari make her out and walk a few feet away. I cocked a brow as she stripped herself from her boots and blushed when she slipped out of those socks. She hadn’t looked at me once so I forced myself to stop looking at her. Besides, she was far enough she’d be easy to ignore.

A beep from my phone took my focus away from ignoring the redhead. I groaned and pulled it out to see who was bothering me now. To my surprise it was a message from Hikari. I looked back at her but she just sat there, legs folded to her side looking into the sky.

My eyes rolled but I read the message: _Beach or Mountains?_

My brows creased with confusion. What was she doing? I didn’t have time to ask when another message came through: _Well? Beach or Mountains?_

With a scoff I replied: _Neither._

It wasn’t long before she replied: _That wasn’t an option!_

“I just made it an option,” I murmured as I typed out the message. I had no idea what her plan was but I wouldn’t make it easy on her.

_Fine, here’s another and neither or both are definitely not an option._

_Shoot._

_Would you rather fly or breath underwater?_

A chuckle left my lips: _I’ve already done both._

_Just pick!_

_Fine, fly._

_So then it’s mountain._

My brow lifted: _what?_

_If you could fly you’d live in the mountains and if you could breath underwater you’d definitely live on the beach._

_That’s not how that works._

_ANYWAY, would you rather pull off all your nails or your teeth?_

My eyes widened: _Christ._

_Super grotesque but you gotta answer._

_Well which one are you doing?_

_Easy, nails. It’s gonna hurt but teeth is the stuff of nightmares._

I glanced towards the redhead but she still hadn’t moved: _All right, nails it is._

_Hey! You can’t just take my answer!_

Sniggering, I responded: _Already done._

_Okay, last one. And get ready cause it’s a doozy._

I couldn’t help but chuckle once more: _Doozy?_

_Yeah, it’ll really knock your socks off._

_Since when did you turn into someone’s dad from the 50s?_

_Shut up._

I smirked just as she sent her next message: _would you rather be struck by a comet at this very moment or tell me why you’re still mad at me?_

There it was, the real reason for this entire game. How’d I let myself get suckered into one of her tricks again? What was I even supposed to tell her? I’m mad because you want to be my friend even though that’s what I want? At least, I think so. The thought did cross my mind? is that what I wanted? To stay friends with Hikari? No, it definitely was. There was no way I could risk going through what I had with Namine again.

My phone buzzed and I glanced at her message: _That bad huh? Well, I’ll just leave you alone from now on. I’m sorry, Roxas._

I caught Hikari clasping her hand over her mouth. No, was she… Was she crying? No way. Now I really felt like a piece of shit. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, well, not completely. I was just so frustrated about the entire thing. I wanted answers and I didn’t know why I wanted them as badly as I did. I should have just left it alone but no. Now I’d made a girl cry because I was angry for the sake of being angry.

I watched her reach for her shoes and quickly messaged her back: _Wait._

She froze and finally turned towards me. I couldn’t tell if her eyes were watery but I looked back to my phone before I could find out.

“I’m just…” I typed as I thought aloud. “Trying to understand you I guess. I feel locked out.”

She was still, a hand in her hair as she stared at the screen. I could feel my heartbeat increase as her fingers found their way on her phone.

_Because I’m keeping a secret from you?_

Direct. Honestly, I appreciated it: _Yeah._

I watched the three dots fade in and out of our chat, anticipating her response.

“Look to your left?” I read. “What…” My head trailed to the side to see the redhead sitting right next to me, staring into the oceans with a hand tucked behind her ear. I jumped back, startled to have her so close but she didn’t react.

“Roxas?”

“Y-yeah?”

“I want to tell you everything,” she said with a smile, perfect profile still watching the waves. “I will tell you everything. I just need some time to understand it myself.”

“What’s it matter?” I shrugged and settled back into my seat. I lowered one leg into the water, feeling the gentle waves crash against my foot. I needed to cool down. “We’re only friends after all.”

“Now you know that isn’t true.”

I bit my lip but didn’t respond. I honestly didn’t know how to.

“Since I got here you’ve been a constant in my life,” she said softly. “You’re always there for me and I do my best to be there for you. It all happened so fast too. We just clicked. So we’re not just friends, Roxas. We’re… We’re soulmates.”

“Soulmates…” I could feel my cheeks flush at the sound of those words. Is that really what she thought about us? There was something so intimate about hearing her say it.

“Yes,” her eyes fell on to mine, those lips pulling into a smile. “Soulmates isn’t just about romance or lovers… It’s about connection and being tied to one another… It’s about being destined to be a part of each other’s lives some way, some how.”

“Hikari…” I was speechless. I was at a loss to know what she’d been feeling about us and here she was, laying it flat out. She was convinced we were meant for each other in some form. I wanted to laugh it off, say that wasn’t a thing but with that twinkle in her eyes I believed her.

My hand entangled in hers, causing us to redden, “our destinies are intertwined.”

She nodded eagerly, “exactly. So it doesn’t matter who else comes in or out of either of our lives. We’ll stick together no matter, okay?”

“Yeah,” I could feel her squeeze my hand with approval. “Just you and me.”

I found myself drawing into her just a bit closer but she pulled back.

“I have something for you.”

“You do?”

“Mhm,”she reached into the bag on her hip out of my sight. I leant forward before she pulled out an ornate golden bracelet. It was engraved with small boxes and glittering in her palms.

“On my first mission I saw this and thought of you,” she explained. “So I bought it and Master Aqua helped me enchant it. I wanted to give it to you yesterday but—“

“I was being an asshole?” I cut in.

“You said it, not me,” she giggled. “But when you wear it it’ll help keep you safe. I know it’s kind of a lot but as soon as I saw it I just had to get it for you.”

“Hikari…”

“And look,” she tilted the bangle towards me. “So you’ll never forget how much you mean to me.”

I peered at the bracelet to see it etched with a short message: _Roxas, I’ll always be your light._

With widened eyes I stared back at the redhead who only chuckled in response, hiding her smile behind her hand.

“I hope it’s not too embarrassing. The guy at the store asked me if this Roxas was my boyfriend. Talk about nos—“

I cut her off with a hug. I didn’t want to talk anymore, I just wanted to feel her, be with her. She’d done so much, she’d shown me why she was worth fighting for. Now I knew for sure I shouldn’t give up on her, on us. Hikari would be my constant and I, hers.

Her arms looped around my back when she nuzzled into my chest, “I’m so sorry, Roxas. I never meant to hurt you.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I never _should_ have hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t mean it, you were just scared.”

I nodded slowly, a little disappointed when she pulled herself from my arms.

“Here,” Hikari took the bracelet and clasped it on my wrist. “Looks good, yeah?”

I had to agree, it was really impressive. Too much to wear casually but I’d definitely keep it around for her.

“So can we go back to normal now?” The redhead pouted. “Cause there’s this true crime case I wanted to send you about necrophilia.”

“Jesus, Hikki,” I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. There she was, my light always talking about the darkest things.

“What? This one’s—“

“A doozy?”

Hikari grinned as she jabbed her elbow into my arm. She then rose to her feet and I followed along. I watched her stare into the ocean’s waters, so peaceful. In a moment, I snatched her pinkie with mine.

“I’m going to protect you,” I mumbled, eyes lost in the clouds. “No matter what, no matter where; I will always be there for you.”

“Roxas…”

“So don’t lose faith in me Hikari, not ever. We’re all each other’s got. You, me, our friends… Together.”

She was silent for a moment before replying, “together.”

I could feel her hands interlace with mine once more and settled in her warmth. With her by my side, just like this, I could do anything.

“We should take a picture!” Hikari suddenly exclaimed. I looked back at her confused but she was already tapping away at her phone.

“Better yet, a video. This’ll commemorate the moment.”

I watched her point her phone downwards at our bare feet crashing with the waters of the ocean waves and then slowly panning up to the blue sky. Her smile was bright as we watched it back and I had to agree, it was a pretty shot.

“I’m gonna send this to you so make sure you post it too, okay?”

I chuckled, “is that an order?”

“More like…” she nibbled on her bottom lip. “A request… If I can still make those.”

“Just this once.”

She giggled before suggesting we head back on the ship. So we got back in our shoes and made our way inside, Hikari pressuring me to post the video. When I did I captioned it with the word “intertwined” as she’d posted her’s with “destinies” which seemed to please her. She’d always been a romantic, even though she denied it whenever I brought it up to poke fun.

“I hope they get back soon, I’m starving.”

I leaned on the control board, arms crossed as she pouted in the seat in front of me.

“I can wait,” I replied. “The closest thing here is a fish market.”

Her brows furrowed as a queasy look appeared on her face. “Wouldn’t that be cannibalism?”

“We aren’t actually fish, weirdgirl.”

“No but we’re pretty close. Fish are friends, not food.”

Seeing her laugh at her own joke made me join in. God she was adorable, with her stupid japes but dark sense of humour. I really had missed having such a close friend around. Still, my mind trickled back into my dream and thoughts of my talk with Sora. I had to figure out her perspective.

“Hey Hikki?”

“Hm?”

“You ever dream?”

“About?”

“Anything, really.”

“Huh,” her fingers pressed against her chin. “Yeah, I do. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” I muttered. “Sora was telling me about his dreams earlier.”

“What are his dreams filled with?” She chuckled. “Kairi and cake?”

A nervous laugh escaped my lips as I rubbed the back of my neck, “yeah, something like that.”

“What do you dream about?”

At the sight of my flushed cheeks, Hikari sneered, “pervert.”

“N-no!”

“So who are you having these dirty dreams about, huh?”

“I don’t have dirty dreams,” I frowned but the embarrassment on my face remained. “I barely dream but when I do it never really means anything.”

That wasn’t technically a lie. Most of my dreams never really did make much sense. I’d seen old falsified memories or strange worlds with even stranger creatures and characters; hell, after my break up I’d stopped dreaming for a while there.

Hikari only shrugged, “if you say so.” It was clear she didn’t believe me but as long as she stopped questioning me I was safe.

“So what are your dreams about?”

I watched the redhead ponder, “nothing really interesting. Sometimes embarrassing memories, being chased, or even walking on the ocean floor. The weirdest one’s are always about people you know.”

She giggled which made me raise a brow in curiosity, “I had this strange one about Sora a few nights ago…”

My eyes widened but before she could look at my face, I turned away with a tightened smile, “what happened?”

“I was lost in a forest I’d never been before,” Hikari explained. “I started walking, looking for a way out when I found him also lost. I asked what he was doing there but there was this loud noise and before I knew it we were just running. He led the way, holding my hand and dragging me along while I’m looking back trying to figure out what’s going on.”

“Weird.”

She nodded, “right? So we’re running and I can hear this loud thudding behind us so were clearly being chased now. Sora yells something about a light ahead and when I look over it’s just open air, a clear blue sky. I tell him we can’t go that way but he says to trust him and we leap into the air. Then I woke up.”

“I hate dreams like that. It’s like watching a movie that ends on a cliffhanger.”

“In my case, literally.”

We laughed together. It was good to be back, I had so much to tell her and stupid jokes I’d bottled up to make her giggle during our late night talks. I really had missed weirdgirl.

“Hey, that move Sora and Kairi did… Did they practice that?”

I shook my head and explained, “our connections to one another are really powerful, Hikki. When your fighting alongside someone you really care about this switch flicks in your brain and you just know the moves. You’re on autopilot but your bonded.”

Her eyes drifted off as she contemplated, “bonded…”

I watched her eyes focus as her mind whirled with thoughts. There was a sudden determination on her face when she looked up at me.

“Roxas, let’s work hard to build a bond just as strong!”

My cheeks burned but she was excited. Did she even really know what she was asking? They were so strong together because they _were_ together! But her mind was made up, firm in her request she only smiled brightly back at me.

“That way, you and me… We can save everyone together. So, let’s do our best.”

A smile tugged on the corners of my mouth, “alright.”


	20. Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is finally back on track and with Halloween quickly approaching Hikari worries how she'll manage it all. Things get even more complicated when a special guest arrives to the dorms.

When Roxas and I finally got out of class I was beyond ready to get in my bed. With everything going back to normal between us, we’d spent so much time catching up that I barely noticed how late it was getting during our nightly chats. I was just happy to have him back. And just in time as Kairi had already planned the night out we had coming up this weekend.

“You good?”

I yawned, “just tired. I really have to stop debating you before bed.”

“If you could just admit when you’re wrong—“

“Never!” My lips pulled into a frown. We’d gone back and forth on the worst way to die last night which I’d said was drowning but he insisted was being set on fire. I couldn’t even remember how we’d gotten into such a morbid topic but it had reluctantly ended when I passed out at three in the morning.

“How are you not tired?” I questioned the blond who looked as youthful always.

“Easy, I skipped.”

My frown only deepened upon approaching my door, “lucky you.”

“You could always skip, you’ll never be tired again.”

Groaning, I pushed the door open. “I’m never _not_ tired.”

“Huh? That doesn’t sound like the party girl you told me about Kai.”

My eyes widened to the slender pretty girl with a long chestnut brown ponytail and wild green eyes.

“Mari!?” I screamed.

She grinned, “in the flesh itty-bitty ‘Kari!”

I flung myself into my best friend’s arms and was ambushed by her familiar smell of roses. I squashed myself against her toned body and soft skin. She was here, she was really here!

“You’re choking me sis!”

I pulled from her waist but squeezed her hands in mine. “I missed you, I missed you, I freaking missed you goddamnit!”

“You’re the literal love of my life,” she gleamed. “I almost died without you.”

“Only almost?”

“Girl,” she rolled her eyes and took a step back. “Okay, I actually love this uniform. Is that shirt 100% cotton or a blend?”

I laughed. She’d just gotten here and her mind was already tinkering with designs. I was so happy to see her. Mari was my center, my piece of home. She could bring me back into balance just with her presence. I studied her frame; she stood tall, probably the same height as Roxas in short black cotton shorts with a matching long sleeve sweatshirt and a thick white stripe running along the sides.

“You look good,” I circled her. “Did you make this?”

“Literally finished it before my trip here but ‘Kari, I literally look the same. You on the other hand…”

She grabbed the hem of my sweater and forced me out of it. I blushed wildly but was grateful for the black bralette I always wore over my bra under my uniform.

Mari smirked, “Old habits die hard, huh?” My eyes rolled with a smile. She knew literally everything about me, even down to how I’d wear my uniform, just like back home.

“I need the extra support…”

“Sure do,” she laughed and poked at my stomach, “are you getting abs!? You’re getting so skinny—“

“Hardly.”

“Shut up!” She turned to Kairi and Xion. “Are you guys feeding this girl? Like what happened to that waist?”

“I know, right?” The redhead giggled along. “It’s all this training she’s been doing.”

“Well it’s been paying off,” she spun me around. “No wonder you’ve got your own personal bodyguard.”

I raised a brow looking back at her but she tilted my head forward. Roxas stood by our front door staring back at me, stunned.

“Roxas!” My arms veiled around my chest. “S-sorry!”

“No!” He chuckled, clearly embarrassed. “I’m sorry…”

The girls giggled and my cheeks burned. I glared at Mari but she had her eyes elsewhere.

“Roxas, huh?” There was a sensual look in her eye. Oh no, he’d piqued her interest. She sauntered over to him just as I threw on my sweatshirt once more. His face glowed red as she circled him, studying every part, obviously making him uncomfortable.

“So you’re the boy who’s been stealing my best friend away,” she mumbled with a coy smile. “Well Hikari, you were right. His pictures definitely don’t do him justice. He’s super hot, I approve on that level!”

My redness caught up to his as I scampered over and pushed the brunette away from the embarrassed blond. Mari was all laughs as she headed back to Kairi and Xion. I turned back to Roxas with an exasperated sigh.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “She’s kinda…”

“A lot?”

We giggled just as Roxas shrugged it off, “it’s alright. I live with Axel, remember?”

Smirking I nodded, “excellent point.”

“Well, have fun. I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on.”

“Roxas?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t know if I told you… But I’ve missed you.”

Things had gone so good after Atlantica I couldn’t help but dread this outing coming up in fear that something could happen. I just wanted him to know that no matter what, I wanted us to be together and apologize in advance for any of my antics. I never wanted us to fight like we had, ever.

I felt the warmth of his hand stroke my cheek, “I’ve missed you too, Hikki.”

My fingers slid into his palm, stilling the motion and my eyes gazing into his. “No matter what happens with anyone, no matter what happens tomorrow just please don’t ever shut me out again. I never wanted to—“

Roxas grasped my shoulders and my arms tied around his waist, hands on his back. His sweet scent of rosewood brushed past my nose as I found myself settling into his heat.

“No more apologizing,” he mumbled against my forehead. “We’ll be okay, no matter what happens tomorrow.”

I felt his lips press onto my bangs and blushed at his kiss. I pulled myself off and hid my embarrassment by keeping my eyes to the ground. We said our goodbyes and I gnawed on my lip thinking of such an intimate act. I had to get better at keeping my distance with him physically. I’d just got so comfortable and found myself slipping back into old habits. I’d be better, I had to for Vanitas.

“Oh, you like him.”

I whisked my head back to Mari and the others giggling in the kitchen.

“No I don’t,” I frowned.

“Lies,” Xion scoffed. “All lies.”

I rolled my eyes with a tight lip smile, “believe what you want guys. I’m going to bed.”

“You can’t,” Kairi pouted. “We’re going into the city to find costumes.”

“Yeah, Namine’s gonna meet us at the subway,” Xion added. “Hurry up and get changed.”

I’d been so distracted by the entrance of my best friend I hadn’t even noticed my roommates dressed casually in jeans and a sweatshirt for Xion and a sweater and denim skirt on Kairi.

“Can’t you guys go without me?” I whined. “I was up all night with Roxas.”

The girls burst into laughter just as Mari spoke up, “I’m sure you were. But the sooner we go the sooner you can come back and spend another night with loverboy.”

I groaned, and marched off to my room. There was no way they’d ever let this go would they?

—

As we exited the busy station and onto the crowded street I spotted Namine sitting on a nearby bench, sketchbook in hand. I pointed her out to the others and we made our way over. She looked as graceful as always in a long white skirt and knit sweater. In my torn high-waisted, black jeans and cropped hoodie it made me feel out of place.

Namine always made me uncomfortable and self-conscious. I wasn’t sure why and often wondered if maybe it was jealousy but she had nothing I wanted. Did it have to do with Roxas? But they weren’t together. Still, they had history and being friends with him and trying with her was an awful position to be in.

Kairi gave quick introductions and we made our way to the fashion district where Namine said she’d found a hidden gem of a store. I’d only gone a few times but the fashion district was far more colourful than the rest of the city and it was close to the harbour. That was definitely a spot I’d have to make time to wander to. Maybe I could get Vanitas or Roxas to tag along.

“So Namine,” I heard Mari’s quizzical tone and instantly sent the brunette a warning glare she ignored. “If you aren’t on base what do you get up to all day?”

“Oh, I manage a flower shop with our friend Isa nearby,” she smiled. “I’ve also began helping people with their memories.”

“Memories?” I repeated with a raised brow. This was something nobody had mentioned to me.

“Yes, I help people dig through their repressed memories. It’s like kind of getting your mind in order. You’d be surprised how many people’s issues relay back to underlying trauma. It’s really quite fascinating.”

I nodded slowly, it really did. Not only was she beautiful but now I was learning she was magical too? Like… Literally? This girl had to be a saint, no wonder Roxas was so heartbroken. And the others thought I’d stood a chance? As if.

“So what?” Mari pondered. “You’re like a witch or something?”

I gasped, “Mari!”

She only shrugged while Namine and the others giggled.

“It’s alright,” she replied. “In a way I guess you could say that.”

I sighed and quickly changed the subject. “So what’s this place called and where are we even going tomorrow?”

“ _Beau_ , it’s just up ahead” the blond answered plainly. “I heard about it from one of my clients.”

“As for tomorrow,” Kairi grinned. “I got us a booth at this Club called _Tinker_. It’s going to be great; loud music, cheap drinks, and cool costumes. I’m so excited.”

“Speaking of costumes,” pondered Xion. “Have you guys thought of a theme yet?”

Mari sighed, “we’re stumped. Kai and I have been going over options all week and the best we could come up with was zoo animals.”

“That could be fun,” I tried to encourage the two but their looks of disappointment remained. “Axel would make a great giraffe, don’t you think?”

Xion chortled but they weren’t impressed whatsoever.

“It’s not supposed to be _fun_ , Hikari,” Mari frowned. “It’s supposed to sexy and confident and exciting! I wanna turn heads.”

“Sexy?” I cringed. “I didn’t sign up to be _sexy_.”

“Too late,” Kairi hooked her arm with mine. “Looks like we’re here!”

I glanced to the side and my eyes bulged from their sockets. The store’s glass window gave a clear vision of all the revealing lingerie and costumes barely covering up the slender mannequins. There was lace, bows, leathers, silks, and all kinds of clothes I never would have thought to wear in public.

“Oh my,” Namine blushed with a nervous smile. “She just said they still had lots of costumes left…”

“This is perfect!” Mari cheered. “Good work Namine.” She gripped onto my wrist and dragged me ahead. The glass door opened with a chime and we were greeted by four female clerks who happily pointed us to the costume section when Kairi asked. The further we got into the store, the more embarrassed I could feel myself become. It was dim inside but the abundance of sensual clothes made me uncomfortable. The costumes were worse; there was every kind of career, animal or idea but “sexy”. Wanna be a sloth? Make it _sexy_. What about a plumber? Make it _sexy_. A fire hydrant? Sure but you’re gonna be a _sexy_ fire hydrant.

“This is a little much, don’t you think?” Xion cringed as her eyes scanned the racks. It was good to know I wasn’t the only person weirded out by all this.

“No way,” Kairi’s eyes glistened with each step we took into the shop. “These are great. Revealing, yes but it’s not like we were going to go as nuns.”

“I’m sure we could,” I muttered. “We’d just have to be _sexy_ nuns.”

“Ha-ha,” Mari rolled her eyes. “Come on guys, we’ve got work to do.”

Xion and I groaned as she and Kairi nodded with determination, Namine nervously giggling between them.

Straight away, Mari and Kairi dove through the racks searching for ideas with Namine offering more wholesome options behind them. Xion and I tried to keep up but soon enough we ended up messing around in the prop section before stumbling upon a pair of white combat boots someone had tossed on one of the shelves. They’d been misplaced but it was as if destiny set them there.

“You have to get them!” I gleamed. “Xion, they’re literally perfect!”

“Right?” She grinned. “But white? They’ll get dirty and I’ve got like ten pairs of bo—“

“No!” I refused to let her even question this. “These are perfect for you! It’s fate, trust me.”

She gnawed on her lips, examining them once more before sighing, “you’re right.”

“As usual,” I smirked with a flip of my hair. I felt a smack against my hip and turned to see her jab me with a plastic sword. We were chuckling when the rest of the group approached us.

“You two come up with anything?” Namine asked. I shook my head just as Xion shrugged.

“It’s been twenty minutes,” whined Kairi. “How are we still so stumped?”

“Are you two even trying or just fooling around?” Mari pursed her lips. I shrugged with an innocent smile as I felt a gentle push on the top of my head. I looked to Xion who leaned against me and then at the mirror past her to the decorative devil horns over my head. They’re were ornate with curled patterns engraved in themand faded upwards from a black to a blood red. They were longer than the typical cheap horns you’d usual find with costumes but still pretty light.

“Of course we are,” she sneered. “There’s lots of hard work going on here”

Mari crossed her arms with a frustrated glare as she looked between the two of us. I readied myself for a scolding when her eyes narrowed and flickered between us faster. I cocked a brow when she exclaimed with a grin, “that’s it!”

“What’s it?” I questioned.

“How could we’ve been so blind?” She chuckled. “It’s the easiest and most versatile theme!”

She tossed her arm over Kairi’s shoulder and the redhead narrowed her eyes as well, “tell me you see it.”

Kairi pondered for a moment before smiling, “yes! That’s perfect! Nice work guys.”

Confusion crossed both Xion and my face as we looked at each other and then the group. Kairi was already frantically texting and Namine nodded slowly, as if our supposed genius had just dawned on her as well.

“Care to fill us in?” Questioned Xion.

“White combat boots…” Mari riddled as if we were supposed to get it. “Devil horns…?”

I shook my head when Namine finally answered, “angels and devils.”

My lips formed an O-shape and I looked to Xion who shrugged with a half-hearted smile. It was definitely easier to pull off and make appropriate.

“You guys grab some horns and tails for the boys,” commanded Mari, excitement all over her face. “I’m gonna grab us some wings! Come on Nami!” Like that she was off, dragging the startled blonde by the wrist with her. I couldn’t help but chuckle and glanced to Kairi who was now on the phone, annoyance in her brows. She was probably stuck trying to get the rest of our group into the idea. Well, that left Xion and I to scavenge for whatever devil themed items we could find.

Once we’d finished up with the accessories we went straight for the actual clothes. Namine said she owned dozens of white dresses and could lend us any if needed but with that petite frame there was no way I could borrow a thing from her. Xion decided she’d be going in shorts and I thought to do a cute pair of white jeans if I could find any when Mari spotted an all lace mini dress. It wasn’t long before she’d convinced me into getting that and a few other items before heading for dinner in the city.

With it being the start of the weekend restaurants were busy with people but we’d managed to find a spot that made some killer Korean BBQ. Despite being exhausted I stuffed my face with beef, overjoyed by the sweetness of the meat. Mari was munching away on kimchi when she asked a question that spooked me.

“So Namine, you used to date Roxas, right?”

“Mari!” I chided and quickly turned to the blonde. “You don’t have to answer that, she’s really nosey.”

“It’s fine,” she smiled carelessly, not at all disturbed by my best friend’s rudeness. “Yes, I did. For about three years.”

“Three years!?” I choked, the attention of our table landed on me. I cleared my throat with a swig of my water and bowed my head apologetically. I knew they were together for a while but I didn’t know it had been three years. People started thinking about marriage at the three year mark. Well they were still young, hell, Roxas had just turned 18 so there’s no way that was anywhere on the horizon but still, three years?

She nodded, “yes. It was wonderful, he was amazing. A great partner.”

“If he was so great why’d you break up?”

I glowered at the brunette but she only shrugged in response when Namine answered her.

“Well,” she brought a hand to her lips. “In the last year I began feeling out of place. Like I wasn’t acting like myself, my true self. And when Ven had come to me to figure out some of his memories we got to talking and I found out he knew exactly how I was feeling while Roxas didn’t. He was supportive but support isn’t the same as just getting it. Honestly, I still feel guilty about the entire thing. I thought maybe it was just a faze, a stupid crush but then I… Well, I fell for Ven.”

My cheeks reddened as my eyes stared at the slim blonde smiling to herself over her memories. It was scary to think about, that you could be with someone for so long and suddenly they could just switch on you out of no where. Now I felt even worse for Roxas and guilty. Even t hough I was out of it, revealing such sexual things and going cold right after was an awful type of whiplash. Yeah we didn’t have three years under our belt but we did have a friendship that we’d taken time to grow and cultivate and I almost ruined that by telling him I thought he was hot. God I was such an idiot. I’d really have to make it up to him.

“But it looks like he’s found happiness again,” Namine’s eyes met mine but unlike her lips, they weren’t smiling. “In you Hikari.”

“Ah, w-well…” I stuttered trying to find some kind of response. “I-I just bother him a lot. I’m sure deep down he really can’t stand me.”

“No way,” oh God, now Xion was getting in on it too. “You’re all he talks about, all he spends his time on.”

“He adores you Hikari,” Kairi agreed.

Mari smirked, “and you adore him too.”

“Isn’t that right, Hikari?” Namine said, that puzzling look still on her face.

I nibbled on my lip and looked to my fingertips pressing against each other as I tried to hide my embarrassment. It was true, I did adore him, he was my first friend here and we had so much in common. But whatever those feelings may have been we’re gone now, on both ends.

“I do,” I mumbled, refusing to look at anyone at the table. “Roxas is… He’s the first and last person I talk to everyday and when he’s away I miss him. I want to be with him all the time, laughing, talking… He’s been so kind to me, helping me train, studying with me even when he doesn’t want to, taking care of me… But that’s what friends do. And I almost ruined that. I pushed too far for something I never truly wanted and I hurt us both. I’ll never forgive myself for it. But he protected me then too. A friend like that… I can’t lose him.”

“So that’s what’s holding you back?” Mari questioned.

Sighing, I answered, “nothing is _holding me back_. I just don’t think Roxas and I make any sense. I’m happy where I am now, with… well, y’know. He and I work. Roxas and I don’t.”

Namine shrugged, the smile on her lips tightened but her eyes stayed aloof, “you’re right about that.”

“Hm?”

Her eyes flickered to mine, “you and Roxas… You don’t work.”

—

“That girl does _not_ like you,” Mari scoffed as she tossed herself on my bed. I rolled my eyes; I was well aware of that. Namine had completely caught us all off guard once she said Roxas and I wouldn’t work. My brows had furrowed and I felt my fists clench when luckily we’d been interrupted by our waiter and the others were able to get us back on track but there was an obvious tension between us.

Who’d she think she was? Yeah, they’d been together for a while but she didn’t know shit about my relationship with Roxas. I didn’t know what she had against me. I wasn’t the reason they broke up or why he was so weird with her, that was all on them.

I’d stayed mostly quiet, only speaking occasionally and once we got on our subway train I was completely silent and fuming. Hell it wasn’t until we’d gotten home and Mari and I were getting ready for bed had I finally opened up.

“Totally,” I muttered with a roll of my eyes. “And like I want to confront her about it but that is so much unnecessary tension. She’s a core part of their group, I can’t just fight her.”

“You don’t have to fight per se,” Mari replied. “But at some point you have to ask what her deal is.”

“They broke up; like what is she going to do when he does date someone? Or is it just me she hates?”

“Maybe she’s threatened by you?”

I kissed my teeth, “oh yeah, me, the same girl everybody calls _‘little light’_ is really one to worry about.”

My best friend giggled which led to me smiling as we settled into my bed. At least I had her here to talk it through with. But I was ready to move on, no more Namine or Roxas chatter. My best friend was by my side.

“So you excited about tomorrow?”

“Too excited,” Mari answered. “Clubs back home are so boring, it’s all the same people. Besides, I want to meet the rest of your hot friends.”

I chuckled, “just remember their in relationships.”

“Well not Roxas or Axel.”

I peered at her through the corner of my eye, uncertainty on my face but she only laughed, “don’t worry. You know I have a thing for redheads. Why else would I keep you around?”

We snickered and continued to chat, mostly about her and back home. It was a welcome diversion to all the drama going on here and I had to say, I was excited to hear about all the gossip and stories about my old high school. I never really missed it but I did miss having her around and all her antics _in_ it.

Speaking of which, a dangerous smile smeared on Mari’s face and I knew something was up. “What is it?”

“So… I may have snuck drugs into Valorsea.”

“What!?” I squeaked. How had she even managed that? Sneaking out, sure, that I could get, same with sneaking in but drugs? Only my sister Mari would be able to find a way.

She nodded eagerly, “they’re these pills that are supposed to boost your mood. I’ve never done them before but Faye loves them and after hearing about your little adventures here I was like ‘we gotta do this’.”

“No way,” I shook my head rapidly. After my _little adventures_ I was trying to quit whatever habit I may develop. “I mean knock yourself out but I can’t.”

“But Hikari—“ she whined.“Do drugs with me!”

“No, Mari.”

“Pleaseee? Kairi and Xion said they’d do it.

“‘Cause they know how to hold back,” I replied. “I don’t.”

“That’s the point!” She flipped onto her stomach. “Everyone else has seen you a mess. I’m your best friend and I can’t even imagine it.”

Shrugging, I smirked, “sucks to suck I guess.”

She only rolled her eyes with a smile, “even though you’ve changed you’re still a dork.”

“I haven’t changed that much,” I grinned. I couldn’t even deny the dork part, it was true. “I’m still your weird little sister.”

“Hm,” Mari turned onto her back. “You know, when you left I was so scared you’d forget about me and dad. I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Mar…”

“I know it’s dumb… But without my mum you’re the only girl I can really trust in my life. I lost her… I can’t lose you too.”

There was a pain in her voice, clearly these saddening thoughts had been on her mind. Instantly, I took her hand firmly, bringing her attention back to me. Her eyes watered but she remained composed.

“You will never lose me. I know I’ve been distant and I have so much to tell you but I just need a little more time. I hate keeping things from you but this…”

“It’s new,” she finished. “You just wanna savour it a little longer.”

I nodded slowly. That’s what I loved about her most, it was like she always knew what was on my mind.

“Well, just be safe. If something happens like with Kore just come to me right away, okay?”

“I will.”

“But Hikari, I have to know…”

I perked a brow as she turned over to me once more.

“What about you and Roxas?”

My mind jumped to images of the blond. We’d only just got back on track, I didn’t want to do anything to teeter off it. He’d quickly become my best friend in Orenda and even though we all had our suspicions about his feelings I couldn’t believe in them. I’d told them over dinner how I really felt, I didn’t think we were in a position to make it work and despite being angry with Namine I stood by my words. He was still too hurt and I was still too broken; all I’d manage to do is break his heart again. Xion had told me from the start his heart was fragile and just because he put on a strong demeanour didn’t mean I was willing to risk hurting him to just try something I was sure would fail.

I didn’t feel good enough for Roxas, not that those feelings were there but whenever it came up that’s all I could think about. I’d compare myself to Namine and immediately the delusion of us ever trying anything would dissipate. She was slim and blond and angelic and I was curvy and dark and boring. Namine was graceful and I was a klutz. Namine was smart and sophisticated and I was an anxious mess. Roxas needed a girl like that, a girl that matched his stature who was just as grand and perfect and pretty as he was and I wasn’t that girl.

“There’s nothing there.”

Mari’s eyes rolled, “oh come on. I’ve seen how he looks at you. It’s like how Dean looks at me except I don’t look at him the way you do Roxas.”

I smirked remembering Mari’s on-again off-again boyfriend. He was crazy about her but she was so afraid of commitment she always ended it when it felt like too much. But to think that either Roxas or myself thought of the other that way was madness.

“It’s an infatuation at most,” I shrugged. “With everything that happened with his ex the _last_ thing he wants is to be with someone again. _Especially_ not me.”

“That’s bullshit,” she frowned. “Ex or not, that boy wants something from you and it isn’t just ‘cause of an infatuation.”

“Ma—“

“But fine! Let’s say I’m wrong about him but honey, I _know_ you. The way your eyes brighten when you look at him or how lost you get when you’re texting… Hell, he’s even managed to get you to go out and take your nose out of a book for a little while! Hikari, I don’t know this other guy but if you’re looking at Roxas the way you do then I know it won’t last.”

My lips pursed as I glared at her. Just like the others she was assuming we’d find our way to each other but it wasn’t meant to be. Our fight should have made it clear to everyone that a relationship between us just wouldn’t work. Roxas and I were great as friends; we were supportive and enjoyed each other’s company but anything else was far too risky. What if we broke up? He’d become apart of me, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Besides, even though Vanitas wasn’t comfortable I liked that. It was a challenge but I was becoming this confident, carefree person thanks to him. I didn’t want to stop seeing him, not for anything.

With Vanitas there was room for failure. He was unknowingly helping me build myself into the person I’d dreamed of becoming. I didn’t have that with Roxas. I had to just be that girl and I wasn’t her, at least not yet and I wasn’t going to drag him along for this journey of self discovery. After what he’d been through, especially after so long, he deserved somebody complete.

“He and I are great friends, that’s it. But me and… Well, _that_ person are really something, Mari. He makes me feel so… Different. And I like that.”

“You shouldn’t have to change for a guy.”

“You shouldn’t,” I admitted. “But I think I want to. I like who I am with him. You’ll understand when you meet him.”

“And when is that?”

I shrugged and turned over to my window, “soon. Now goodnight you heathen.”

—

The next day I’d slept till about noon meanwhile my friends we’re having the time of their lives getting to know each other. I was really happy to see Mari fitting in with Kairi and Xion as they were my closest girlfriends. Once I’d joined them after a quick shower we spent the majority of the day laughing our asses off about Mari’s adventures in Twilight Town without me. Before I knew it we had to start getting ready for what was bound to be an eventful night out. I let the others go first as I had a bit of reading I’d wanted to catch up on, specifically one on dreams from a book I’d picked up from the library.

Upon talking to Roxas about it I’d decided to give my own dreams a bit of an analyzation. I was definitely no psychoanalyst though as scanning through the heavy hardcover only left me more confused. I let out a deep sigh but perked up once I heard steps coming down the hallway.

“You guys look incredible!”

My eyes glistened as the girls entered the living room dressed in their various variations of our angel theme. Kairi and Mari really had knocked it out of the park with this one. I had to admit I was skeptical but they really had found a way to make this theme work with all our aesthetics. Xion had went with a pair of white shorts Kairi had leant her and a high-necked, sleeveless haltered shirt. There were two simple gold armbands on her, the knee high white socks I’d let her borrow and the pair of white combat boots she and I had gushed over. Kairi was far girlier in a delicate white satin dress with thin straps and covered in feathers all over the bust and a simple pair of white stilettos. Mari on the other hand had gone all out in a tight, backless dress. It was perfect for her slim frame, only held up by her slender shoulders with a thin silver chain. With the deep, low cut cowl neckline and strappy silver heels she looked straight out of a magazine. Even her hair was stunning with a sleek, high ponytail and her bangs swept to the right and clipped back securely.

I knew that whatever they ended up putting together for this angel and devil theme would be immaculate but just looking at all three of them standing together had me nervous about my own outfit.

“Thanks Hikki,” Xion grinned as she tossed herself onto the couch.

“You should probably hurry and change,” Kairi advised.

“Why are you running so late?” Mari questioned. “I thought you were just eating.”

I smirked and held up the book I’d been engrossed by. She giggled, “of course!”

“Well the shower’s all yours Hikki,” said Xion. “And I put your wings with Roxas’ horns in your room.”

I nodded just as Kairi added, “once you’re done I’ll do your makeup and Mari’ll curl your hair.”

“Do I get a say in any of this?”

The two turned to one another before looking at me, “no.”

—

I zipped up the thin zipper at the side of this frail fabric they called a dress. I still couldn’t believe I’d let the girls talk me into buying it. The mini dress was dangerously short, just like the one I’d worn before but in a white lace sewn into intricate baroque style patterns. The top was a tight, an off-the-shoulder sweetheart neckline that boasted a heavy amount of cleavage with laced sleeves that tapered all the way to my middle fingers. I’d borrowed a few of Kairi’s simple gold banded rings and paired those with a slim golden chocker, a cheap pair of golden orbed earrings I’d had since forever and the glittering hair clip Mari had used to pin my bangs back.

In the mirror I was amazed once again by the the transformation in front of me, I looked nothing like myself in this makeup of mauves and pinks but I still felt cute. I strapped into my short, upturned feathered wings and took another glance. I wasn’t so sure I necessarily looked angelic despite the wings, cutesy long ringlets of my hair and the gold, spiked headband on my head but Mari had definitely accomplished the _sexy_ part of Halloween.

“This is too much,” I muttered to myself as my hands ran over my curves. “You can see everything.”

I may not have been naked but I definitely felt it. I’d even had to buy new underwear at that store thanks to Mari seeing as I didn’t own anything I could wear under. Luckily, Beau’s was stocked with lingerie and unluckily, I’d ended up with exactly that. But I did like the headbands she and Kairi had decided on instead of the usual cheesy halos. They looked like rays from the sun and even expensive despite just being wire and plastic.

My mind wandered to Vanitas as my hands ran over my body. What would he think of this dress? Would it be like last time? I blushed, it’s not like I’d even see him there. He said he’d be busy on Halloween but he’d try to swing by. It sucked cause I did miss him and the thought of him seeing me again so provocatively did excite me. Was that perversive? That had to be perversive. I groaned and slid into my heels. There was no time to worry about that now.

“Hikki? Kairi said you had my—“

Turning to the voice, Roxas caught my eye. He looked good, gorgeous really. He was in skintight black leather pants with a matching pair of boots. His shirt was a loose fitted blood red silk with flouncy sleeves that cuffed tightly on his forearms. My eyes moved to his large hands. A few fingers covered in thick gold bands, different from his usual simple black and white two, again matching but with the ornate gold bangle I’d gotten him.

“You’re wearing it!” I exclaimed.

He blinked, his mind must of went elsewhere. “Uh, yeah. It matched so…”

“I’m happy.”

Roxas blushed and soon I did as well, looking at his exposed chest, sternum in view once again. It had quickly become one of my favourite parts of him. I blinked out of my stare and instead to his mouth where I noticed his pointed canines, longer than usual in that pretty smile.

“Kairi said you had my horns…”

“Oh yeah!” I stepped out of my shoes and scurried over to my desk. “I got them right here.”

He met me at my mirror and leant forward. A smile spread on my lips as I stretched and adjusted the band on his head. I ruffled his spikes for coverage and swooped my finger tips behind his ears.

“There, you look great.”

His eyes held mine with a gaze, “you too.”

“Oh!” Why did he have to look at me so erotically? “T-thanks! I just gotta…”

I began to kneel down when he stopped me.

“Let me,” he dropped to a knee, his bright whites in a rare smile. “Least I could do.”

His palms were warm which only made my body heat up. It felt like he was moving in slow motion. Roxas’ skin was so soft as he slid each foot into a white heeled mary-jane and buckled the strap around my ankle. My skin was tingling but I tried to focus on his image in my mirror. Those eyes were cast on my feet but feeling me stare, they flashed to look at me. I turned away quickly only to hear him chuckle.The other strap was secured and I let out the quietest sigh of relief.

But his hand lingered on my leg.

I stared back at the mirror. He was nibbling his bottom lip, a firm grip on me. My lips quivered to find the words when he began rising to his feet. His hand slithered up my body to the curve of my hip. I shuddered in his grasp and used his shoulders to stabilize my stance. Roxas only pulled me closer, both arms low on my hips and cradling me.

“Y-you…” my mind went blank. Those eyes were entrancing.

“I…” He sneered.

“Y-you’re so close.”

“‘ _So?’_ Not _‘too’_?”

My throat clenched. I couldn’t figure out what to say or even how to react. He was drawing me in with only his eyes. I knew I shouldn’t. I couldn’t I had a… Well, I had Vanitas.

There was a knock at my door but the intruder didn’t wait for a response.

“You guys—“ the shock on Mari’s face twisted into a cheshire grin. “Am I interrupting?”

“N-no,” I pushed myself off the blond and stumbled to my desk. “W-we were just taking a picture, sorry. We’ll be out in a second.”

She wouldn’t let up, “oh no, take your time.”

The door closed and I groaned. Quickly I gathered my things from my desk and headed for the door.

Roxas yanked me back into his arms.

“Pictures, right?” His voice was deep in my ears and his breath was hot. This was so intimate, my back pressed into his chest and his hand pulling my phone from my hand. I was sensitive to his touch and he knew that.

He lingered above me and tilted my lips up to his looking down at mine. I clasped my hands over my chest as he took the photo. He kept a sly smile and slid his hand to my throat. I could feel his fingers wrap around me and another photo was taken.

Maybe I should have stopped him but I was frozen. Even when he faced me to the mirror and wrapped himself around my shoulders for another shot I couldn’t say a word. Finally, he held me close once more, chest to chest with a hand low on my back and he took the shot. He wasn’t done yet when that hand clutched my throat and a small moan left my lips. I heard his dark chuckle and felt his breath tickle my neck. He must have taken another shot cause he surprised me with the wetness of his tongue on my jugular. My hands pressed his chest and he pulled back, hand still pressing gently on my throat.

“You an angel?” His hooded blue eyes captured me. “It’s accurate, isn’t it?”

I nibbled on my lips as he continued, “And me, a devil, that tracks wouldn’t you say? You bring it out of me, make me reckless Hikari. But it can’t be helped, you’re just too _pure_ little light. Hm, my little angel… Definitely accurate.”

The smile on his lips was one of amusement as he knew just looking at me made me weak in his grasp. Those blue eyes kept me still but my heart pounded feverishly. His expression said it all; he was enjoying this, he liked saying things that put me on edge and had me stumped. Mostly I’d be able to come up with a quick quip but hearing him say the words _“my little angel”_ left me paralyzed.

And like that he snapped out of his trance and tossed me my phone.

“Send me those pictures,” he commanded as he stepped through my door. “We look good together.”

With that, he left for the others, leaving me ablaze. Where had that confidence come from? That dominance? And why was I shivering in his touch?

“Roxas, you asshole! Always teasing,” I muttered aloud to myself.

That’s what it was, teasing, it had to be. He meant nothing by it. He was just like Mari, doing whatever they could to make me flustered. Just teasing, stupid, silly teasing.

I clicked through my phone for the photos and didn’t even bother looking at them any closer before sending them off. Just the thumbnails made me mortified. I’d have to peek later but not now. Roxas had rattled me but I could be just as confident. It was Halloween after all, no better time to force out the Hikari who’d started dating Vanitas; I had this.

I grabbed the rest of my things and headed for the others. They were all gathered around the living room or the kitchen looking amazing in their costumes. Sora had dressed just like Roxas but with a black flowing shirt and red leather pants and boots. Riku was in a black button up with slim black jeans and a pair of boots as well while Axel was in his signature torn black jeans, combat boots, and a sweatshirt with stylized flames along the hem. I looked around for Ven when I heard Kairi mention he’d be meeting us at Tinker to Riku. They were all entranced by their conversations, laughing and talking as the sipped on drinks so I cautiously made my way to the breakfast table to grab my coat Mari had brought out for me earlier.

“Hikki?”

Damn it. I craned my neck back with a nervous smile to catch Sora bringing all the focus to me and this skimpy outfit.

“H-hey…” I mumbled, unwilling to meet anyone’s eye.

“You look so cute!” Kairi skipped her way over me to examine the look she and Mari had prepared in full. “We killed it Mar!”

“Totally,” the brunette stepped away from Axel and Roxas on the sofa and made her way to my side. “Right guys?”

I didn’t have to even look at their faces to feel them blushing and it didn’t help when Xion began to snicker. I’m sure it was always uncomfortable to see me dressed this way, it was completely out of my comfort zone. All I could hope is that there’d be no more parties anytime soon.

“Definitely,” I heard Sora mumble as the others gave their awkward mutters of approval.

“It’s too much guys,” I wrapped my arms around my chest and made my way to the couch. “I’m practically naked.”

“You are not naked,” Mari tossed herself in the seat beside me which squashed me into the blond. “Not yet at least.”

I rolled my eyes and quickly changed the subject, “I looked up this place, Tinker… Looks like it’s going to be super busy tonight.”

“It’s Halloween after all,” I felt Roxas’ arm hook behind my waist and caught his hand caressing my thigh. My eyes met Mari’s who gave me a knowing look which only made me blush and lean towards him and away from her glance.

We were so close again and with his hand now on my hip gently massaging the swirls of the patterns of my dress I felt my body grow hot. I had to make him stop, I had Vanitas. This couldn’t have been okay, right? Still, I was bothered by what he’d said in my room and demanded some answers.

“In my room…” I whispered in his ear. “You said I make you act reckless…”

He nodded slowly and his sweet smell filled my nose while my hand pressed against his chest. “What did you mean?”

I watched his lips pull to a smirk when he leaned into my ear, somehow bring us even closer. My hand slipped to his inner thigh and I felt his lips brush against my ear. It was just like Nightingale all over again but now I was sober for all of it and my body was already craving.

“I meant what I said little light,” he breathed slowly. “Like this, you’re never good for me.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Mari brought our attention to her with a quizzical grin.

“N-nothing,” I pushed myself from the blond and quickly poured myself a shot of the vodka on the table. I desperately needed something to take the edge off, no matter how bitter it was down my throat.

“So you’ve changed your mind?” She giggled. I perked a brow but that face told me she was back on the topic of her contraband. I shook my head as I set the glass down but that definitely wouldn’t be the end of it.

“What if you just do half?”

“Half?” I repeated. Was that possible? I shouldn’t though, last time I was wild, completely out of control and Vanitas wouldn’t be there to save me if it happened again. But then again, last time I hadn’t paced myself at all nor did I have Mari. Plus everyone already seemed to be in good spirits, I wanted to get there too. Man, talk about peer pressure.

“Please Hikari,” Mari pouted with puppy eyes in full effect. “It’ll be our first and last time together and you know I’ll look after you, right? I promise.”

She definitely would and I mean it was only half of the regular dosage. It wouldn’t be too bad, just something to take the edge off. Just this once and I’d never _ever_ do anything like it again.

“Just half,” I mumbled.

“Bet!” She grinned and went for her stash.

I sighed, averting everyone’s gaze. ”But never again, Mari. This—“

Her warm hand was on my neck and in a moment her lips pressed onto mine. The room was utterly silent as my widened eyes gawked back at her half open one’s. Her tongue moved in my mouth and in my shock she deposited the pill with ease. Mari’s lips separated from mine and she leaned back on the couch, and dug through her purse.

“Mm, you taste like cherries Hikki,” she said with a lick of her lips and pulled out her lipstick. “Like candy, super sweet. What brand is that?”

The brunette was completely oblivious to the stunned expressions of my friends and myself eyeballing her. She simply reapplied her lipstick with a coy smile.

“Does your secret boyfriend say the same thing?”

“Mari!” I snapped and pounded into her shoulder. As expected she laughed at my horror. “You’re such a perv! So bloody weird, ugh. I hate you!”

“You shouldn’t talk that way to your sister!”

“Sisters don’t kiss each other you freaking weirdo!” I whined. “You always have to embarrass me.”

“You were getting too cool for you own good little light. I had to bring you back to earth. It’s my duty as your best friend!”

I pouted and crossed my arms but she yanked me into hers with a grin so big I couldn’t help but smile. She was always playing whatever little game she could to get on my nerves. But it was Mari and one of the reason I loved her was for her impulsivity.

“Besides, now you know you don’t only look good but you also taste good for your super mysterious man.”

Just as the red had gone down in my cheeks it was back in full force, “s-shut up!”

“Say Roxas,” she smiled deviously towards the blond who seemingly still hadn’t recovered from the show Mari had put on. “Do you like cherries?”

“Mari!”


	21. Devils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the night treads on, the group find themselves lost within Tinker, leading Hikari to fight the urges bubbling within her.

Tinker was huge compared to Nightingale, a full-blown club with booming loud music, bars on either end, a massive dance floor and pristine booths upstairs. The couches were plush with red velvet, dim lights and a large glass window with a view of the dozens of bodies thrashing below to the speakers playing records spun by a DJ on a slim stage. I was giddy from the moment we entered, this drug Mari said was called Nix finally taking effect. Probably didn’t help that the others had either taken a whole pill like Roxas or half like myself. We were all riding off each others’ energies. I was surprised we managed to get in without any problems. I felt bubbly, just the right amount of careless. I’d even been smart enough to sit next to our driver and made Mari sit in the back with Roxas. Still, it couldn’t be helped when we’d finally arrived and he led me in by my hand. I did appreciate it as the crowds were intimidating.

Our booth was right in the centre and Namine and Ven were laughing close together the moment we’d entered. They looked good, Ven in all black with a silk button up and boots and Namine in a fitting but flowy white dress. Just as expected this costume suited her perfectly. I tried to be civil but still kept my distance and ended up taking shots with Mari to slow my nerves. Soon enough Mari and Kairi had demanded pictures and it wasn’t until Axel’s whining we finally made our way to the party downstairs.

Before I knew it we were immersing ourselves completely in the crowds, dancing and laughing along with all these strangers. When we were like this the tensions died down completely and although I was still nervous I was having fun. It had been forty-five minutes or so of losing ourselves before we headed back to our booth to recuperate.

It wasn’t long before the familiar freeing feeling and high began to settle in. I wandered off from the others to the large clear glass, amazed by the dozens of costumes beneath me. The lights were intoxicating, coating their bodies in spectacular blues, reds, and greens. My hands pressed the cold glass as my body began to mindlessly sway to a poppy RnB track I’d heard a few times before. The lyrics came to mind and spilled from my lips in quiet moans as my fingertips smeared against the window.

“ _Baby if you got a girl you shouldn’t kiss me again,_ ” I felt a smile spread on my lips as my eyes scanned the crowd. “ _You won’t let me go ‘cause you got’ miss me again._ ”

There was something so mesmerizing from up here and just watching their bodies, almost arousing with how compelling it was. Was this what power felt like? Status? My head rolled back, _“you better get ready for me. Like tonight, you’re coming with me…”_

The motion of my hips felt for more deliberate when I heard Mari call my name. A giggle escaped me and through closed eyes I still felt as if I could see the lights.

“You okay?” She snorted.

Spinning to the direction of her voice, I lay my back to the glass but my hips rocked as I nodded, “ _you’re the only one I call when I’m drinking, should be flatter be it…”_

“You’re singing,” she continued. “In front of other people… You never sing in front of other people.”

“Hmm… is that so?” My voice was hoarse as my arms rose above my head. “I sang for him…”

“Who?” I heard Roxas’ voice but I only shook my head with a grin.

“ _Him_ ,” I smirked. Just because I was high didn’t mean I was about to spill about Vanitas. Roxas should have known me better than that. “And you.” Hazily, I opened my eyes to the spinning looks of my friends and smiled a smile that felt much too big for my face.

 _“You better get ready for me,”_ I cooed with a bit of a laugh. _“Like tonight you’re coming with me…”_

“You’re _this_ high…” I heard the blond approach as he chortled. “Just on half?”

I giggled and threw my hands onto his shoulders for stability. Those eyes gazed at me with what I could swear was a twinkle and I found myself grow lustful. He was just as gone as I was when I leant back on the glass but drew him in with me by gripping onto his neck.

 _“I cannot help it baby,”_ there was no smile on my mouth now, just a possessive stare in my eyes. _“You’re the only one I want.”_

“Hikari…” He muttered with the same look of desire.

“Roxas,” I smirked.

“Hikari.”

“Rox…as.”

He chuckled, “you’re so—”

“ _‘So?’_ Not _‘too?_ ’”

He only sniggered and I wrapped my arms around him. He was so soft and he smelt so good, especially when he hugged me just as tight. Before I could stop myself I found my eyes flicker open and glare directly at Namine as if the others weren’t even in the room gawking at me caressing the blond’s tussles of hair.

“I was wrong Nami,” I cooed. “We do work.”

Her brows twitched but before she could respond I felt Sora pull Roxas from my arms.

“I think you two need to chill for a bit,” he said with a nervous laugh. Mari guided me onto the couch just as Sora seated Roxas on one of the single seaters. He giggled the whole time which had me laughing.

“Damn it angel,” his voice swam through me. “You’re the reason you know? All my reasons…”

“You need better,” I muttered as I stared at his nebulous eyes. He was so out of it. “A better purpose sadboy.”

He scoffed, “you’re so annoying little light. You piss me off.”

“You’re annoying,” I pouted and wagged a finger in the air. “Very hot but very annoying.”

“You’re hot,” his voice was deep as he threw a leg over the armrest. “Too hot, even Sora said so.”

“W-what!?” Sora’s cheeks turned as red as his pants. “Roxas, I never said that!”

“Yeah you did,” he pointed an accusatory finger at the jittery brunette. “You even have sexy dreams about Hikari. My Hikari… Stop it, Sora. You have your own light.”

“I told you it was that stupid ham!”

I glanced towards Kairi who’s expression was either of anger or amusement as Sora pleaded with her. I could only giggle in response.

“You’re so troublesome, Roxas.”

“I’m honest,” he declared. “Stop being hot, I hate it.”

Playfully, I rolled my eyes, “whatever pretty boy.”

“You’re beautiful,” he smirked, eyes angry. “So beautiful our whole combat class is trying to smash…”

“Oh, yeah?”

He rolled his neck against the chair, “yuppers… “ his voice was drenched in sarcasm. “Said _‘with a body like that she could handle dick’_.”

My brow perched with a challenging smile, “wanna find out?”

Hishead snapped to my face but Riku spoke before he could say a word.

“You guys are super out of it,” he sighed as he tried to suppress his amusement . “Might wanna hang back there.”

Roxas laughed, never taking his eyes off mine “fuck you…”

“Fuck me?” I jeered.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“Absolutely,” I said, my voice high purposely erotic. My head hit the seat and my back arched, ass in the air as I moaned “come take me right here, right now _daddy_.”

“Okay!” Mari leaped to her feet. “I’m going to grab you guys some water!”

“I think we’re gonna head back down there,” I heard Ven say, sounding just as nervous as Sora.

“All the way down?” Roxaw questioned, eyes still on my arched body. “Are you mad at me Nami?”

“‘Course she is,” I blurted out. “Three years Roxas… Why didn’t you tell me?”

There was a hurt in my voice I didn’t recognize, a pain I refused to acknowledge.

“What’s the point?” He only shrugged. “When it’ll be forever with you.”

My body sprang up, suddenly attentive as I stared back at that lazy smile and caught myself smiling right back with a nibble of my lip.

“Enough,” Mari crossed her arms but couldn’t hide her chuckle. “Are you two always like this?”

“Only when they aren’t sober,” Xion chortled.

“I think we should all probably go,” giggled Kairi, clinging on to a still clearly flustered Sora. “Axel, mind watching them till Mar gets back?”

The redhead only nodded, clearly amused by our antics. I couldn’t focus when they all shuffled out but found my body fall once again and melt into the couch. It had to only have been five minutes when I muttered, “what’s in this thing?”

“I’m so fucked,” Roxas groaned. “I hate Halloween.”

“I hate drugs,” I proclaimed. “Never again!”

“Ever!” He chanted.

Axel laughed, “alright, I gotta take a quick bathroom break but I’m trusting you two won’t do anything stupid?”

“Aye, aye, captain!” I said with a toss of my arm into the air.

“Oh captain, my captain!” I heard Roxas reply.

Axel only laughed on his way out just as I finally managed to get myself to sit up again. My head was still foggy but I felt a sudden excitement when the pounding of a familiar rhythm filled the air. I rose to my feet and careened my way through the booth with the melody on my mind and lyrics out my mouth.

 _“I’m all out of love, you gave it away,”_ Roxas’ eyes seemed to stare right through me, past these clothes and directly at my naked body. But his looks didn’t scare me, they guided me towards him in that chair he suddenly sat up in. “ _I’m hoping that experience can get you to change.”_

My hands pressed onto his thighs when I shimmied to the ground, our eyes focused. I stared at him from below, right between his legs and continued, _“I’m hoping that experience can get you to change.”_

My body snapped upwards and my hands found the armrest as our faces met far too closely with me leaning over him.

_“I’m hoping that—“_

We tumbled to the ground, my body over his as Roxas skidded from the seat just as his head hit the ground. I heard him groan and lifted myself from his chest. Soon enough he rose as well with a leg perched up, nuzzling me right onto his crotch. Our eyes met and soon enough we were bustling with laughter.

“I-I was supposed to be staying away from you,” I snickered. “You being a devil _definitely_ makes sense. _I’m_ reckless around _you,_ Roxas.”

“Hm,” he brought a hand to the back of my neck and massaged it gently. “Stay away? Your boyfriend’s not gonna like this then, huh?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I admitted. “We’ve been seeing each other but he hasn’t asked me out yet.”

“Is that so?”

I nodded once more and he smirked in response, “maybe I should steal you then, don’t you think?”

I only blinked with blushed cheeks as he continued, “you’re rightfully mine after all Hikari, so I’ll _have_ you.”

I was held in his grasp as his other hand stroked my lower back and his lips found their way to my ear. 

“Would you like that angel? If I took you? Kept you forever?”

My conscience was a clouded mess and I gnawed on my lip completely at a loss of words. I had Vanitas, I wanted Vanitas. But right now I was roused, busting at the seams because of Roxas. I wanted him, probably more than last time and my body made it obvious when as I straddled his hips my own began to rock into him. He left out the softest groan and squeezed me to his chest, tickling my ear with naughty proposals.

“Say it Hikari,” his voice ordained. “Say it and I’m yours. I’m all yours.”

Even being this close to him, I couldn’t do it. I promised myself I wouldn’t and here I was honestly contemplating it.

“Guys!”

Roxas threw his head back with a careless grin as I gawked at a shocked Axel and Mari standing at the doorway.

The blond only chuckled and put his hands on my waist, “looks like we’re out of time little light.” He helped me rise to my feet but my knees were still shaky. Mari was stunned as Roxas calmly took a bottle of water from her and made his way out the door.

“Make up your mind angel cause I’m getting sick of waiting.”

—

I was alone in the booth, cooling off and sipping on my water. Mari had tried to get me to tell her what happened but I was still aghast for words. I told her I’d fill her in tomorrow but right now I just needed a moment to myself. My buzz wasn’t as rampant as before, now I was just confused. My body would do one thing when my mind said another and I was so angry at myself for it. Maybe I should just cut myself off from him? Go completely cold turkey at least for the next little while. 

But I didn’t want to. Roxas was my closest friend at Orenda, fighting with him had been enough of a heartache. But Vanitas made my heart swell, I didn’t want to lose him. 

I felt my phone buzz and flipped through it to see a message from Vanitas. He asked how my night was and I shuddered at the idea of telling him. But he would have to know eventually. You had to be honest in relationships, even if they weren’t official yet. Still, I could try to at least get him in a good mood before the next time I saw him.

I held out my phone and leaned towards it, my lips curved into a sly smile and my cleavage in full view. I took the shot and sent it to him with the text: _good, you’re missing out_. Hopefully, that would tide him over for a while as I tried to figure this out.

Until then I finished my bottle of water Mari had brought, straightened myself up and decided to join the party downstairs. There was no way I’d come to an understanding huddled upstairs by myself. Not with this loud music and the tingling feeling of my skin.

I reentered the party and found myself swooped into the crowd. Soon enough I was dancing along strangers with not a care. I couldn’t find my friends but my anxiety was no where to be found, I just lost myself to the sounds.

In the mist of the rhythm my eyes fell on Roxas whispering into the ear of a stunning dirty blonde. They were huddled away from the dance floor, far too close for my liking. She was tall and thin, a stature like Mari’s in a short, tight pink dress with bunny ears on her head. She was giggling mindlessly to whatever it was he was saying but clearly adoring the attention. He may not have been touching her with his arms crossed over his chest but she was all over him with her hand caressing his bicep.

I was taken aback. She was all over him and he just… Allowed it. After the chaos that had been us in the booth with our bodies once again entangled in one another here he was, another girl on his arm. I swallowed back a large lump in my chest and headed straight to the nearest bar. I couldn’t watch it anymore. He was free to do whatever the hell he wanted with whoever he wanted. I didn’t care.

“Hikki!” I forced a smile at Axel as he came by my side. “You having fun?”

I nodded but muttered, “not as much as _some_ people.”

Axel read the tension on my face and glanced behind him, “oh…”

“It’s great,” I answered quickly. “He should get out there. It’s been months.”

“That’s nothing,” he replied but I wasn’t listening. It wasn’t my problem, it wouldn’t be.

“Sure.”

“He was all over you upstairs and now it’s throwing you off, right?”

I gawked up to the redhead who only gave me a knowing smile.

“I deserve it,” I replied. “I did it to him when I was like this and now he’s definitely got his revenge.”

I could feel Axel’s eyes on me and the frowned deepening on my lips. “You okay?”

I nodded but it wasn’t enough when he outright asked, “why’s it bother you?”

I whisked my gaze to his, “i-it doesn’t!”

“Kinda seems like it does,” he teased as we entered the line at the bar.

Shaking my head I said, “it doesn’t, at all. If he wants to fill his time smashing Namine clones all the power to him. In fact, I wish him the best. Better yet, I’ll be the first to make a toast at the wedding.”

Axel only shook his head and slapped his hand on my shoulder, “say what you want but it’s clear as day Hikki: you’re jealous.”

Glaring I muttered, “it’s the drugs.”

“Sure.”

My cheeks burned but before I could argue we were interrupted by a female bartender with buzzed forest green hair covered in colourful tattoos.

“What can I get you guys?”

“I’m gonna do a shot of tequila and whatever this one wants is on me,” he smirked. “She’s mad cause her little boyfriend’s got wandering eyes.”

I elbowed Axel’s waist but the two only giggled in my expense.

“What’s your drink, hun?”

My mind considered just heading up to the booth or possibly even home, maybe I was already spent. Drinking just cause I was annoyed was never a good option. Still, I tilted my head back and spotted the two still chatting when Roxas’ eye noticed my glare. I turned back hastily to the bartender, “ever heard of a Blue Poison?”

—

One Blue Poison and fun Hikari was back with a vengeance, I’d downed the drink far too quickly and found the others dancing in the middle of the crowd. It wasn’t long before I joined them and almost forgot about the fact that Roxas was the only person missing. I forced my mind to stay off him for my own sake. I felt a buzz of my phone and pulled it from the side of my dress. Carrying bags to stuff like thiswas always such a pain, I much preferred to just keep everything stuffed in my bra. Not my best habit but it worked so why change it?

“Hello?”

“You make one hell of an angel little light.”

My cheeks burned at the sound of Vanitas’ voice. Mari gave me a questioning look and I gestured towards the phone and quickly made my way back to the booth.

“H-how are you?”

“Awful,” he replied. “So I came to you instead.”

A smile crept onto my lips as I made my way up the stairs. I could barely hear the low humming of the music on his end but rushed as I explained where I was headed and how to get there.

“I can’t believe—“

I swung the door open to see bright golden eyes in a long black hooded cloak staring back at me.

“You’re here.”

Vanitas sat on the single seat facing the door, a hand lazily pressed to his cheek, a foot propped up on the glass table covered in bottles from earlier and another in his other hand.

A smirk graced his mouth before he hoisted it to his lips. His eyes stayed on me as I gingerly placed my phone on the long table before bringing my wrists to my chest.

He set the bottle down and rose to his feet. His steps were heavy and slow in those combat boots and as he approached I found myself draw further within. Soon enough, he surrounded and hovered over me with a forearm pressed firmly on the glass and eyes soaking me in. My heart raced when his other large hand teetered down my back and right onto my ass.

“I left work for you, ‘Kari,” he mumbled.

“You did the right thing,” I smirked. He shook his head with a low chuckle and yanked me into his arms. Vanitas guided me back to the seating but my hands pushed his shoulders, forcing him to sit back as I climbed on top. His hands took a firm grip of my back side, forcing a moan out of me as I looped my arms over him.

“Should have never went in the first place,” I whispered. “Should have spent the whole night with me.”

“There’s still plenty of night left, light,” he said and brought his lips close to mine. “We’re just getting started.”

Vanitas’ lips latched onto mine in an instant. There was no subtlety as his tongue dove straight to mine and teased the muscle. I moaned against his mouth, rocking my hips against him and yanking off his hood to play with his hair. His smell of amber filled my nostrils and his rough hands massaged my ass in just the way he knew how. I couldn’t hold back when my lips popped off his and my cries entered the empty room. He took no time and went straight to biting and licked at my collarbones and throat.

“Vanitas…” I murmured between gasps. “Take me home, n-now. I need you.”

His golden eyes glistened when he pecked my lips once more, “anything for you, light.”

We set off with absolutely no hesitation and as we made our way down the stairs I was already texting the group chat with whatever nonsense excuse I could conjure up. I gave a quick glance to the adolescent bodies grinding on one another when I spotted Roxas, lips locked with the blonde bunny from before. That dull pressure returned and I forced my eyes forward and clung on even tighter to Vanitas.

—

“Cute place,” Vanitas muttered as he made his way to the couch, tossing his robe on the armrest. He was in a simple black button up with gold studs he’d barely strung up. I kept my eyes away from his chest but that didn’t stop the desire.

It felt like we were on a mission as we sped back to base on Vanitas’ bike. My nerves forced me to be on high alert the entire time but I wasn’t sure what from. There was so much I had to tell him and I didn’t know where to start. Once he teleported us into my room he was quick to wander down the hall and I followed, trying to figure out how to explain tonight’s events. I headed over to the kitchen to grab us each a glass of water. I didn’t know what was in store but I definitely wanted to be sober for it.

“So, death huh?” I smiled and handed him his glass before sitting down beside him. I suspected as such with the robe but he confirmed it when I’d teased him about his costume. “Seems fitting.”

He cocked a brow, “oh right. And you’re definitely an angel?”

I sipped my glass with a coy smile, “you’re the one always calling me your good girl.”

But I hadn’t been very good had I? Roxas and I had flirted heavily and my mind was ridden with guilt over it. I knew I liked Vanitas and if I wanted to keep seeing him I had to be honest about my actions. I took a deep breath, bringing his focus to me.

“Vanitas…”

He sipped slowly, barely acknowledging me which somehow made me tense more.

“My friend… The guy.”

His golden eyes shimmered with a sudden intensity and the pit in my stomach sank even further. Still, I continued. “We flirted with each other tonight… In _that_ kind of way. It wasn’t for long but it was heavy. We didn’t kiss or anything but we said some dirty things to one another and I ended up on his lap. It’s wrong. It was so freaking wrong and I don’t know why I keep making this goddamn mistake because it’s not what I want. It isn’t even who I am. I just get this shit in me and I lose all control. It really isn’t me, Vanitas. I swear.”

He set down his cup but remained quiet and those eyes were no help. They were stern, authoritative and made me feel even smaller than I already was. The shame was immense but the regret and guilt was so much worse.

“And well…” I whispered. “My friend and I… Well he…”

“He what, Hikari?” His tone was sharp and caused me to tremble.

“He kind of _licked_ me. It was a joke! A stupid joke. I’ve been so on edge with him and I’m really sorry. I’m trying so hard to set boundaries with him I’ve just never done all of this before so I don’t know—“

“It’s all right.”

My eyes gawked at him. His eyes were closed with that aloof smile that I both loved and hated. “What?”

“Who has you?” It was more of a command than a question and I rushed to respond.

“Y-you do.”

“So it’s fine,” he cradled me closer in his arms. “Just don’t let it happen again.”

I shivered at the frost of his tone, his warning was clear and I could only nod my head in response.

“Also…”

Vanitas looked my way with an amused smile at my blushing but his eyes remained dark.

“My best friend Mari’s here and well… She kissed me.”

My confession knocked him right out of his composure. His eyes widened and quickly I jumped into an explanation, “it’s not what you think! She did it to give me this drug, well half a drug. Honestly I feel great, better than last time. But she really didn’t have to give it to me that way. She always—“

Vanitas hollered in laughter, reddening in the face as he threw himself back on the couch. I leaped in surprise but quickly felt the embarrassment rush to my face.

“She kissed you?” He repeated, as if he didn’t believe me. “Like on the mouth?”

“Yes!” I pouted. “Don’t laugh! It was really embarrassing. She said I taste like cherries.”

Vanitas settled with a few more chuckles, “cherries, huh?”

My eyes rolled, “yeah, whatever th—“

His lips crushed mine and the force drove my back into the couch cushions. Vanitas parted my lips with ease and slicked his tongue against mine. I couldn’t even react as those hands teased my hips. When we parted, only millimetres away, I was panting.

“Hm, close but not exactly.”

I couldn’t think when hastily, I dragged his lips back on mine. He tasted of spearmint, fresh and cool as always. Vanitas’ kiss was heavy on my lips, mouth open and explorative, so erotic a humming began in my stomach.

“I missed you,” he whispered between kisses.

“I missed you too,” I replied. “I was hoping I’d see you tonight.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded, “I like spending time with you.”

His golden eyes examined my face and the anxiety of it made me bite my lip. His hands travelled down my hips and to the underside of my thigh. I shivered in his touch when he leaned forward once more. His lips tackled my throat and chest, kissing me recklessly and forcing my hands to grip his shoulders.

“Ah, Vanitas…”

“How much time Hikari?”

“W-what?”

“How much time do you want to spend with me?”

Now wasn’t the time for questions but as he peppered my skin in love bites I was cornered and quickly answered. “All of it. All of the time.”

“Good answer.”

Vanitas rose up on his knees and stared down at my blushing body beneath him. His eyes scanned every inch but he said nothing, only smiled devilishly. He took a hand and stroked my cheek before guiding it down to my throat and over my breasts. His finger tips pushed against my nipple beneath my clothes and I gasped. He traversed further and I yanked down on the hem of my skirt as he came to my pelvis.

“Fuck, you look good.”

I couldn’t respond due to the embarrassment but I didn’t have to as he continued. “This suits you, you know? An angel… but dressed like this? I couldn’t keep my eyes off you in there. There’s just something about you that always has my attention. Did you know that Hikari?”

I shook my head. He hands slithered to the buttons of his shirt and slowly they came undone.

“I want you, so fucking badly. Maybe too badly. And I want you all the time. You make me careless, it’s dangerous. But fuck do I enjoy it. Not just this but you…” He casted his shirt to the ground, revealing that muscular torso I found myself dreaming about. “You’re corrupting me.”

A shy smile spread upon my lips, “how so?”

“You’re turning me into a good person,” he leaned into me sneering, his breath tickling my mouth. “It’s disgusting.”

Vanitas kissed me roughly so suddenly I barely had time to register it. His tongue dove for mine as he gathered me in his brawny arms. I clutched onto his back and took deep breaths, trying to control my heat.

“There were a lot of eyes on you tonight,” he whispered in my ear. “It really pissed me off, light.”

“S-sorry,” I mumbled.

“You have to make it up to me.”

“How?”

“Hm,” he straightened himself upwards and yanked my hips to his. I could feel him stiffening as my dress rose dangerously up my legs. Vanitas gripped one of my thighs and pushed my leg into view. He rested it against his neck on his shoulder and his lips placed kisses over my calf. His golden eyes stayed on me, even while he licked and nibbled. I was a mess of nerves as I continued pulling down on my skirt too excited by that stare.

“It’s simple really,” his hand slid to my shoes, gripping at the heel and he put his full attention on my face. “I’m going to fuck you in these heels.”

A gasp escaped my lips, quiet but enough to make him chuckle darkly and bring his face back to mine. He was so bold; damnit Vanitas! Wanting to do something like that so soon? Was it okay? I cursed myself for not talking to the girls about this. I was nervous, squirming beneath him but my core buzzed at those words. Looking at him and that pretty face and spiky black hair with those sultry eyes, I wanted to do it too. At least a little.

“Would you like that Hikari?” He mewled in my ear, hands on my thighs when he gently rocked against me. I groaned and clutched onto his shoulder. “Would you like to feel me inside you?”

Vanitas… inside me? My body was burning up as my desire increased. He made me feel so good, so freaking good. Even now, with his hips gently bucking into mine I was jittery and to think, I could have all that and more.

“I could fuck you little light,” he continued much to my satisfaction. “Hard, rough; leave you paralyzed. Or do you want me to make love to you: soft and slow; make you fall for me.”

I chuckled, “you’re confident.”

“She speaks,” he kissed my neck. “Thought I’d lost you for a moment there.”

With my heart racing I explained, “this’ll… It’ll be my first time.”

He perched a brow, “another one of your firsts I’d be stealing, eh?”

I bobbed my head slowly, “yeah… But Vanitas I…”

“Hm?”

“…I want it,” I whispered. “I want to do all those things with you.”

He didn’t move a muscle, searching and testing me but I couldn’t resist. I nudged my head upwards and licked those lips pressed into a firm line before falling back but pushing my chest forward.

“I want all of you.”

He dove in for a kiss but just as I was beginning to burn into him the heat of his hand slithered down to my inner thigh. I hitched a breath and cried once those fingers brushed against my womanhood. The sensation rushed through me and the heat alone had me shaking under him. Who knew a touch like this could illicit such a strong reaction?

“You’re too innocent, light,” he teased. “You sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” I nodded eagerly. “With you… Only you Vanitas.”

A rare pink fell upon his cheeks, “stop being so cute.”

The pads of Vanitas’ fingers circled me with just the lightest touch. My breaths were shallow but I was aching for more. My hips shifted, trying to find comfort in his hand. He wouldn’t give me peace though and began suckling on my neck. I bit my lip to hold back the pleasure but that’s when the strokes of my hips became far more purposeful. Just his fingers over my panties and I could feel my body wilting to his touch. He could tell as when I was faced with his golden eyes he sneered.

Vanitas’s fingers applied further pressure, pressing down on my slit before a single finger found my core. My body ached but the pressure soon strangely brought me comfort as I felt shivers of pleasure tickle their way up my thigh.

I shrieked his name which only made him laugh and nibble on my earlobe.

“You can make it stop at anytime.”

“K-keep… going… Please.”

My voice was so shrill but the twisting in my stomach from these simple touches made it so. How could he control me so easily just like this? There was no time to think it over as a dominant kiss over took me and those fingers rubbed faster. My stomach swirled with each roundabout of his naughty hand and my legs seemed to force themselves to open wider. I was aching for more as my womanhood pulsated beneath his touch. Unable to move my mouth, this open kiss mixed with his hands drove me further into lust. I wanted to do things to make him feel just as good but greed took over.

“You’re so wet, Hikari,” he murmured. “Not very angelic after all.”

My head turned from his but it did no good. His tongue wiggled by my ear just as I felt his hand slip into my panties, earning him another cry of his name.

Vanitas’ palm was directly on me. Right there, in my most private of places. I could barely handle it as my nipples grew taunt beneath this bra. I bit down hard on my lip but released the moment he teased my mound. Bliss sprawled through my veins, electricity seemingly shocking me awake to my own sexuality. My body was a sensitive mess of eroticism and my back arched as I began to pant, eager for more.

“Look at me,” he demanded and I followed. “You’re so fun to watch.”

My brows furrowed with a sigh that quickly turned to a gasp when a rogue finger lingered by my opening. Vanitas’ eyes never left my face while he pushed into me.

“V-Vani…” My arms hooked around his neck as the digit made it’s way through. A sharp pain made me twist against him but he cooed into my ear to help me settle.

“Take a deep breath, light… Just breathe. I’ll make it good for you, okay? Just trust me.”

I nodded slowly and bit down on my lip when another stroked its way in with the first. I could feel my lower lips expand, my smooth skin sucking him in further, forgetful of the pain he brought and only focused on the pleasure. I gasped but he coaxed me through it, going slow as my body adjusted to his foreign fingers.

“You’re so sensitive.”

“I-I can’t help it…”

“It’s a good thing,” he mumbled and slowly began to stroke his fingertips upwards. My moans grew louder, my voice higher as the agitation on my face turned to adoration. I could feel myself clenching around him when he started with a gently thrust.

“I love watching you,” he purred. “Especially like this. You’re so submissive and tight little light, I don’t think I’ll fit.”

The thought of seeing what was between his legs made my hips jerk forward. A dominance crossed Vanitas’ face and his thumb moved to my core.My body twisted and turned just as he increased the pace and began circling his thumb. I groaned as I fought for release. My stomach was in knots and my womanhood begging. Those golden eyes flared with excitement and my humid walls suckled him in deeper.

I wanted it, I needed it so bloody badly. The pressure was building and my mind was spinning, holding on to whatever little sanity I had left.

“Y-yes Vanitas…!” I found myself wailing, falling into the thrill. I was dripping all over his hand but I couldn’t find it in me to be embarrassed. I wanted to fall faster, melt more.

A smile split onto my face and my neck started to angle back when he gripped me with his other hand.

“Anytime you cum you look at me, understand?”

I shuddered at his domineering tone but not for long as he somehow managed to plow me even faster with just those fingers. My body clutched onto him and my knees trembled. He kept his hand on my throat with a firm grasp. I felt lightheaded; everywhere but nowhere all at once.

The stimulation was too much and soon the only thing I could do was chant his name. The pleasure shifted further down, swimming through me as I edged to the end. He pounded over and over again and I begged just as frequently.

My vision was a mist of gold smog and that smile returned when I felt everything within burst. My body poured over him as I spiralled into euphoria. The sensation was almost unbearable with how good it felt. I rode the waves, sputtering all over with my release. Slowly, my back pressed back into the couch as I tried to catch my breath during the come down.

“Hikari,” Vanitas breathed my name. “You’ve never been more beautiful.”

My cheeks flushed as his hand slipped from inside me and my body shuddered. He brought his glistening fingers to his lips and sucked on them. His brows creased and eyes closed but the corners of his lips pulled upwards.

“Even sweet on the inside…”

“V-Vanitas…!”

He only placed a gentle kiss on my lips before bringing us up to our feet. My thighs still trembled as he guided me back to my room but I found my footing upon entering. I locked the door behind us and turned back to see Vanitas sitting on the chair at my desk.

“You—“

“Stop.”

I froze in place, eyes widened by this sudden change in mood. His eyes were dark, far more lustful than before.

“I want your dress off. Now.”

I bit my lip unsure of what to do but those eyes said it all and I slipped off my wings before unzipping my dress. As I undressed it felt like he was penetrating me with that glare. I felt uneasy but excited while he watched carefully as I pulled off each layer. Soon enough, the dress fell to my feet and I stepped out of it in only this strapless lacy, white pushup bra and it’s matching thong.

I squeezed my arms around myself. The chill air from my partially open window did little to cool down my rising heat as I burned under his watch.

“Put the wings back on.”

My brow raised, curiosity on my mind but he wouldn’t comply with an explanation. I slipped right back into those white feathers and stood before him, docile but intrigued. Vanitas pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, looking for fear but I remained firm. I wanted to do this, whatever it was.

“Come here.”

I worried my ankles may give with each step but soon enough I stood right between his open thighs as those eyes soaked me in. His hands travelled up my thighs and landed on my ass with a firm slap that made me gasp. Yanking me in, Vanitas gripped me tight and rested his head against my breasts. Confusion struck my face but I found myself stroking his hair just as he did my behind.

“You smell so good,” he groaned. “And you’re so soft.”

I giggled, “that so?”

His head bobbed but I tilted him towards me and bent forward for a gentle kiss. His lips were tender and when he nibbled on me I knew he was going to lose himself so I pulled back.

Vanitas looked puzzled and then shocked as I sunk down to my knees between his thighs. My stomach fluttered as I craved more and more for something I’d only ever heard about.

His hand cradled my cheek, “is this what you want?”

“Y-yes Vanitas.”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

My fingertips brushed against his member, stiff beneath his pants and my excitement made me tremor once more.

“I’m sure.”

He stared down at me with an amused smile and nudged his head forward. That was my cue. I brought my focus to the buckle of his belt and pulled at the yellowed metal slowly. With each step my heartbeat grew even louder in my ears but my arousal easily overpowered my nervousness. It wasn’t long when I’d undone him out of his jeans and now only a thin black cloth stood between us. My finger traced the outline of the large hump and it twitched beneath my touch. I’d never done this before and barely even understood it. I’d had Mari’s stories and a video Faye had showed us once at a sleepover but this wasn’t anything like then. I was terrified then but turned on now.

Vanitas brought me out of my thoughts with a pet of my head. I peered up to him through my thick lashes and blushed once more at his coy smile. I loved how he looked above me with that infernal grin and those trickster golden eyes. With him over me like this it felt like he owned me or at least could control me and I wouldn’t dare object.

With a deep breath I tugged down his boxers and felt my body flare at the sight. He was trimmed, each raven hair neatly leading down to the thick, heavy shaft and mushroom-shaped head. The veins protruded, pulsating and I found myself doing so as well. I didn’t know where to start as in this state that video was a blur in my memory. I was surprised by the shear size of it, taller than my fists stacked by it and then some. How was he ever going to find a way to get that inside me? Hell, how would I?

“We can stop,” I heard his voice from above but I only shook my head; I was ready.

I grabbed a hold of it, genuinely surprised by the warmth and brought the head to my lips. The tip glistened and with a chary lick I tasted him.

Vanitas was salty but oddly… sweet? I wasn’t sure what to expect but I knew I wanted to investigate further. My lips clamped down on him and my hands massaged the base. Vanitas stroked my head softly, possibly a sign of enjoyment? He didn’t object so with a burning in my chest I sucked what I could. My tongue wouldn’t remain docile and it seemingly swirled around him on its own.

The ravenette grunted and I glanced up to see those brows crease. I would have been smiling if I didn’t have him inside me. He never faltered, ever. But already I was getting a reaction out of him. I took that as a sign and widened my lips to push him further down.

He twitched within me as I sucked my way down. I could feel my eyes water but I wouldn’t release. At least once did I want to know what it felt like to have all of him inside me. My jaw unhinged and I fought through the sharp pain building when he hit the back of my throat. But there was still more of him left. My throat began to sting and the swelling tears fell down my cheeks but I forced him down my throat until the tip of my nose hit his base.

Vanitas sucked back a sharp breath and gripped onto my hair now. I could barely see him from here but I could feel the muscles of his thighs flex the moment I found my rhythm and suctioned him back and forth.

“Ah, light,” he groaned. “Fuck, I can feel everything.”

Everything? Everything wasn’t enough. My tongue did it’s best to distract him when my throat began to burn by tracing his veins but I knew I couldn’t keep this up much longer.

An idea came to mind and as he panted above me, lost in this fever. I quietly unhooked my bra and my heavy breasts bounced once freed. I slid upwards his member and caught the curiosity in his eye. My lips found their way back to the tip and instead my chest tackled his shaft.

Vanitas threw his head back and grunted my name. Immediately, I pushed and pulled my breasts against his sensitive skin and covered the muscle in my saliva. He gripped my hair harder, now finding the root and gazed down at me.

“Just like that light,” he murmured. “Faster.”

I inhaled whatever I could and spun my tongue in circles around him. His hands were rough but I found I only became more excited under his grasp. I was whining, humming against him and sending vibrations all through out his muscular body.

“Like that, like that,” he groaned, hips rocking to the rhythm of my suckling. My mouth watered as I dove further trying to touch whatever I could burrowed between my breasts. From here I could see his toned stomach flex, his abs throbbing and the perfect V that led down to his manhood.

“That’s my girl,” he praised. “My good girl… My good little light.”

Vanitas’ voice had to be the prettiest I’d ever heard it, husky but airy as he rode the waves of pleasure. Seeing him roll his head back and forth just from what my mouth could do and catching a glimpse of those dangerous eyes in complete bliss made my core begin to drip.

Urgently, I pushed and pulled even harder, slowing the tempo just a bit for him to feel the drag. I wanted him to finish, I needed him to. I wanted to see more of this Vanitas in his wanton state.

“Fuck Hikari…!”He screeched. My knees shook from his roar with delight. His tension was at its limit and his face was reddened by my wet heat. Was this it? Was he going to fall apart now? Would it be inside me? The thought brought my mind into fuzzy white clouds, remembering his words about feeling him inside. My nipples hardened despite their use for his stimulation and my lower back quivered. If I didn’t get it now I’d surely fall to pieces.

“I feel like I’m gonna burst,” a dark laugh left those lips as he threw a bent arm over his eyes. His head was tilted upwards again, probably still trying to feign dominance but I was realizing from here I had the power.

“How are you so good at this…?” He groaned, more so to himself than me. “You’re supposed to be an angel…”

I moaned and dragged him deeper into my cleavage once again. My back arched inwards as I caught his eyes bouncing between my ass in the mirror and me suffocating him between his legs. There was another sharp grunt and yank of my roots. This had to be it. My cheeks hollowed the further I coated his lengthy manhood. His gentle pumps quickened and he licked his lips with a lewd smile.

“You really want this?” Less of question, more of a demand but if I could have spoken at that moment the answer would have been hell yes. He seemed to get the hint from the slurping and moans I couldn’t fight off.

“I won’t go easy on you,” Vanitas grunted. “I told you, you’re mine so whatever I give you have to take it, all of it. Do you understand?”

I clamped even harder onto him, ceasing the twirling of my tongue to prepare.

“Good girl, my girl… Shit, Hikki.”

His face clenched, teeth bearing as he gleamed, “it’s yours baby. It’s yours… Fuck yes, I’m yours.”

Vanitas’ body writhed, his thickness hitting the back of my throat when he spiralled into me. He completely coated my mouth, so deep inside me I had no choice but to swallow. The sticky substance was hot and salty but felt so erotic going down my throat. His orgasm was vicious as he thrusted in harder than before to make sure whatever was in him I caught. He was coming in so hot and fast I had no choice but to release him.

Droplets sprayed over my lips and down to my breast all the while his thickness remained stiff. I licked at the slit of the head while he moaned in satisfaction and his body finally gave out.

“H-Hikari….” He whispered with an aloof smile. I stared up at him, arms wrapped around my breasts and thighs shut tight. The lewdness of the situation finally dawned on me and I felt the need to hide suddenly.

“Vanitas,” I breathed.

He caressed my jaw as he caught his breath, “you’re an incredible woman.”

Woman? Woman, really? Like an adult? Like him? Such a compliment shouldn’t have made my heart jump but it did. As arousing as I found Vanitas calling me his girl, there was something special about being his woman. It was like I’d graduated and was finally seen as his equal, like maybe he did have feelings for me.

“Get up.”

I quivered onto my feet. He stared at me for a moment, a smirk on his lips before he rose as well. Vanitas held my gaze while I heard him strip from those pants. He held that animalistic grin I often found myself dreaming about and I understood why the moment he stripped me from my panties.

Then he stepped in close and locked his lips with mine. I worried if maybe it would be too dirty to kiss again after such an intimate act but it was even better than before. He ground his hands onto my hips and gently lifted me to my bed before tossing me on the plush sheets and climbing on top.

“How was it?”

I blushed, “g-good.”

“Aw, come on, that’s all you’re gonna give me?”

“Vanitas,” I giggled and pressed my hands onto his shoulders. “I’m still stunned. That was a lot.”

“But it made you wet Hikki,” he breathed against my lips. “I could see you aching in the mirror. It made you so fucking wet.”

The was true. I didn’t know I’d be this aroused during something like that but I was ablaze when I had him inside me. I was still trembling to know I’d get to have him once more.

“You make me… wet,” gently, I pulled his hand from the pillow beneath me and brought it down between my legs. The pads of his fingers brushed my slit and I let out a deep sigh of satisfaction. “Only you.”

Vanitas lips caressed mine and his fingers teased my womanhood. Our lips parted and tongues began to dance as we stroked one another. I was back in the cloud of lust, soon enough writhing again. 

“I’ve given myself to you,” he whispered as he rubbed his stiff member against me. “Now I’m gonna take you.”

His large hands crawled up my side and right to my breasts. A wave of bliss shivered through me, leading him to smirk. Vanitas cupped one and examined my protruding nipple. There was a lick of his lips before his tongue flicked the tip.

“Vanitas!” I cried.

“Every part of you is sensitive, huh?” He groaned with a sinister smile. His fingertips rubbed against my other erect nipple and I continued to whine beneath him. The pleasure was outstanding, leaving me feeling drunk from his touch.

His tongue went back to the first as I began to settle into his tugs on the other and clamped down on me. The heat of his mouth made me cower but it was worse once his tongue lathered me up. I moaned and cried, gripping onto his shoulder and his manhood rubbed against my core. I had no control when my legs tangled around his waist and felt myself grow weaker by the moment.

There was another tension now, like before on the couch but somehow stronger. I could feel myself throbbing when he nibbled on my nipple, returning that friendly ache.

I was panting heavily when I glanced up at him. Vanitas cupped the back of my thighs with a dirty smile.

“Let’s see how a sweet girl like you reacts to something as dirty this, hm?”

He pulled my legs abashedly apart and skimmed downward. Despite everything we’d done, lying like this completely nude for these shoes, wings, and halo; I was incredibly flustered. My arms crossed over my chest to try and keep my breasts from sinking to my side. He’d yet to begin but I was already in a frenzy. Now this was something I had zero experience in; not even a story from Mari. I had no idea what to expect or how it would feel. His mouth… there? Would it hurt?

I could barely see him now but I could definitely feel him at the apex of my thighs. His hair tickled against my stomach and his breath was hot against my slit. I could feel my heart pounding throughout my ribs knowing that he was seeing me so closely.

“Very pretty, Hikki,” he remarked. “Just like the rest of you, I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“V-Vanitas…” I groaned with a shaky smile. How could a place like there be pretty? Of course he’d find a way to tease me even like this.

“Be good girl and open up.”

There was barely any time to react when the wetness of his tongue overtook me. I screamed out for him, my voice shrill and breathless in a way I’d never heard before. His hot breath was as challenging as that tongue that explored every inch of me. Vanitas gripped his hands tight on my hips as I involuntarily bucked forward. Yet again I was away from my senses. Already my back was arched and breasts jiggling as he pleasured me from down below.

Vanitas’ wicked tongue was ferocious. He’d bounce back and forth from outside to inside, switching up whenever he felt like I was getting too comfortable. He suckled and licked, never bothering to use his fingers. I wasn’t sure where or how he’d managed to master his technique but in this state I was grateful for it.

He sucked hard against my mound and I quivered. My stomach was quaking when I felt my body ready to explode.

“Cum for me little light,” he moaned between placing soft kisses on my lower lips. “Cum fast and cum hard so I can finally make love to you.”

I crossed my arms over my breasts, trying to squirm either to or away from the joy; it was all too much. A rush of pain from my straining burrowed deep within my thighs but ignited like this it did no harm. My eyes rolled upwards and my back arched so badly only my head and ass seemed to touch it. My lips tugged into a wide, erotic grin and I spiralled out of control.

I screamed for him through my orgasm as everything that was in me sprayed out. Vanitas wouldn’t let up and continued to taste every inch as my body doused him in nectar. I was blinded, eyes twinkling during the come down but when I did eventually get there I couldn’t get back up.

As I struggled to catch my breath I could hear Vanitaschortle and soon felt him slip me out of my shoes. I grunted in his touch, skin still too sensitive but he was gentle. In no time he’d gotten my shoes and wings off and had us tucked beneath my covers.

“V-Vanitas…” I mumbled when he wrapped his strong arms around me. He lay my head against his chest and I found comfort in his heartbeat. “W-we didn’t… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ever apologize,” he tilted my head up to look into his pretty eyes. “Being with you like this… I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ll do it Hikari, soon. But I’m not worried about that, not when I have you here.”

“But—“

“You’re so beautiful tonight,” he breathed. “Somehow more than usual… I wanna see you like this all the time. I want to see you shine little light, like you were always meant to.”

My lips parted but my eyes glimmered in admiration. He was being so sweet, so kind. He did like me, he had to. And I liked him too. I wanted to shine for him. I wanted to glisten so brightly I’d blind anyone who’d dare to look and make him proud.

“For you,” I closed the space between our lips. “I’ll shine.”

I sighed heavily into the passionate kiss, raw but gentle as our tongue played their mindless games. Exhaustion was taking me over but I never wanted to let go. Vanitas must have been able to tell though as after a minute or so he parted from me with a final peck.

“I’ll make you mine,” he said, eyes honed in on mine. I wasn’t sure if he was saying it to me or himself and in that husky voice I wasn’t sure if it was a promise or a threat.


	22. Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Halloween is bound to bring some surprises.

_VANITAS_

My chest was so warm.

My eyes fluttered lazily to a ceiling I didn’t recognize as my own. My ears perked at the sound of stirring and saw a peaceful Hikari curled up against my chest. Her wild, long red hair was a mess, tangled in that halo. I gently pulled her strands from what little she had left of her costume on and chucked it to the ground. My fingers found their way back to interlacing in hers and I closed my eyes once again.

I was so at peace with her, it was strange. The constant headaches, the burning in my chest, this feeling of immense dread; it all seemed in her presence. I knew what she could do before even she had any idea but I wouldn’t have thought I would have any physical effect, not like this. I hadn’t noticed just how different I felt with her until after out date. I thought it had been a fluke, misdirected emotions my mind had tricked myself into believing were there but the moment I got home the pain was back. I’d have to look into this further but right now with her by my side I just wanted to enjoy it.

Last night had been a dream. Hikari wasn’t the first girl I’d been intimate with and we hadn’t even done everything but what she did do had me trembling with excitement. I hadn’t expected it at all. I thought maybe we’d just make out again, possibly push a little further but then she dropped to her knees between my legs and made me see stars.

I was gasping for air and looking down at the those full lips around me and then at her full length mirror where she was perfectly bent over, ass shaking aimlessly in the air while she sucked me dry which definitely didn’t help. The way I wrapped my hand around the back of her head, pushing her further and making that plastic little halo bob. It was an incredible sight; my little light succumbing to dark desires.

I shivered just thinking about it. After all that there was no way I could just stop, I had to taste her at least. She was squirming, screaming, and gushing the entire time with her back arched so far back I thought she’d snap in two. But like a river she flowed, directly past my lips and into my mouth and her sweetness became a need rather than a want.

I wanted to do it again. And again, and again. I wanted to do it until I thought I’d fall to pieces but as she wilted in my arms after her second orgasm I knew I couldn’t push her further. She was and still is a virgin after all, I had to take it slow.

I was fighting more and more with the others about that. They thought I was getting soft, wasting time romancing her but no matter how brash I thought I was, that level of aggression wouldn’t work on Hikari. Even though she was fearful, she wasn’t stupid. I could never just make her do what we needed her to do and what it was was a lot. It would take trust and how else could I get that if not by making myself completely available to her in whatever way she’d have me. It was worse now with Halcyon. She was stronger and she knew that, it was only a matter of time before she reached her full potential and then we could get things going.

I heard a soft moan and looked down at the girl on my chest, squeezing in closer. Her face twisted to that of discomfort and I caressed her cheek.

“‘Kari?” I whispered. “Hikari?”

Those long lashes twitched before I was met with those wide violet-blue eyes. A small smile reached her lips but her face quickly twisted to that of pain.

“Are you okay?”

She bobbed her head up and down slowly, “headache.”

I smirked, “too much drinking?”

“No,” she breathed. “I’ve been getting them lately. I’ll probably see the medic tomorrow.”

I cocked a brow as something told me immediately my associates were to blame. I had to shake it off, focus on her right now.

“Want me to get you something?”

“No,” she whispered. “Can we just stay like this for a little while?”

Her voice was so small, timid even. I don’t think she knew how adorable it was.

“Of course,” I kissed her forehead. “Please tell me you at least remember last night this time.”

She blushed, “I do… Do you?”

“Very much.”

The redness in her face remained, “did you… like it? Was I good?”

I tilted her chin towards mine, “very.”

My lips touched hers softly, a big change from the night before where everything had been hard and rough. I’d have to remember to apply some ointment to my back, these scratches were getting excessive.

Our lips separated but I kept her only inches apart, “how was it for you?”

She chuckled softly, “I think you already know.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Her eyes sparkled, thinking about last night. She remained quiet so I nudged against her.

“You sure you remember?”

“Yeah,” she giggled. “I just… I just can’t believe I did that.”

“Yes, but how do you _feel_?”

“Good,” she blushed. “Really, really good.”

“Mhmm…” I climbed over her, pulling her legs apart and resting upon her warmth. I nuzzled her throat, leaving little kisses over the bruises from last night. “Good enough to go again?”

She snickered and wrapped her arms around my neck, “definitely, but—”

I kissed her softly at first and could already feel her squirming. We’d just started and she was already tingling. Her lips were raw, whatever makeup she’d had on was all over the sheets but she was just as soft as ever. Her wetness rocked against me and instantly I was hard.

I took my mouth off hers and kissed her down her neck to her heavy breasts. I knew what they were like, even had felt them on my chest but seeing them and feeling them on the most intimate part of my body had been a whole other thing. Chestier girls were never my thing but the curves of this redhead were always running through my mind; watching her lie there with my arms holding her hands to her side and her breasts, slim waist, and wide hips only being lit by the moon from her open window.

I slipped one of her light brown nipples into my mouth and massaged the other as she groaned. I wouldn’t let her have peace as my free hand found a way between her legs and began exploring there.

“Vanitas…” She whispered. “No, my roommates are probably home.”

“Then you’ll have to be quiet,” I rasped, licking circles around her.

Her fingers curled against my shoulders as she panted quietly and my fingers dug in deeper into her. She was rocking back and forth, just like last night with the bed squeaking just as noisily. I slipped past her folds and thrusted two fingers into her, already she was dripping. My cock found it’s way under her, throbbing as I slipped it between her ass and she trembled with delight. I smirked and slid back up to her mouth, I wanted to see her climax again.

“Vani…” she couldn’t even finish my name she was so turned on. I felt myself stiffening more and had to kiss her. I didn’t waste any time, my tongue explored every inch of her mouth as my fingers plunged further, trying to find that sweet spot.

“Vanitas!” She gasped; there it was.

“Careful Hikari,” I murmured in her ear. She tightened around me with excitement. God, she was so fucking tight, I had to regain my composure. “You make anymore noises like that and everybody will know what you’re up to.”

She nodded, face red and reached for my lips once more. I felt her legs rise and held up her thigh to get a better grasp. She was panting against my mouth and trembling on the bed causing it to shake further. She bit down hard on my lower lip and I tore my mouth off her’s. Now she was getting there.

Her thighs were soaking when I rolled my thumb over her pleasure point, earning another loud moan from her lips. She couldn’t stop and began thrusting back into my hand, fighting for release.

“More,” her breaths were shallow. “More, please…”

I chuckled darkly, “you want more?”

She nodded eagerly.

“Beg for it.”

Her eyes rounded but I dropped her leg and kneaded her nipple. I wasn’t joking. If she wanted to finish I wanted to see her grovelling.

“Be a good girl,” I growled. “And beg.”

Then I pumped my fingers into her faster and she dropped all defences.

“Please Vanitas,” her eyes glossed over. “Please don’t stop. Please… more.”

“What do you want Hikari?” I licked her bottom lip. “Tell me what the fuck you want.”

“I want to finish,” she purred and dug her claws into my back. That wasn’t good enough, I wanted her to say it. I _needed_ to hear it.

“What do you want?” I hissed. “Be a dirty fucking girl and tell me what the fuck you want.”

“I wanna cum,” she mewled. Her face became even redder and I smirked. In her sexual haze she was still trying to keep up her prim and proper act. As if she hadn’t spent last night guzzling me down.

“Look at me,” I commanded and her eyes flashed forward. “I want you to look at me when I make you cum. Only me.”

She squeezed my fingers and was so wet I would have slipped out if I didn’t know what I was doing. I pulled away from her nipple and leaned close to her chest, her bare breasts so soft against me. I kissed her tenderly once, rolling my lips against her and pulling away only to watch the show.

“Be a good girl and cum for me, Hikari.”

I cupped her face and dropped my thumb into her gaping mouth. She swirled her tongue against it as I rubbed harder and thrusted faster, my fingers being the only cause for the pool beneath us. I couldn’t help but move my hips against her ass. I wouldn’t go in, not yet anyway, but feeling her flesh around me only seemed to increase her pleasure and was driving mine through the roof.

“Oh,” she gasped as I circled her core with my thumb. “Vanitas… Please…”

Her voice was so distant but her eyes, although squinted, stayed on me. She really was a good girl, following instructions exactly as her mouth twisted into a smile. I could feel my own orgasm incoming, watching her brows furrow and listening to her moan loudly. I couldn’t help but grunt against her as we watched one another, challenged to see who would cave first. She caressed my face and breathed deeper, my eyes lingered on her cleavage before back at her.

“You like it?” God, her voice was so high like this, it reminded me of her singing. “You like me like this?”

“I fucking love you like this,” I thrusted harder. We were so fucking loud but I was too lost in the pleasure.

“Say it again,” she begged. “Tell me how much you love me like this.”

“I love it,” I was pushing past the point of no return and judging by how loud she’d gotten again so was she.

“Ah, Vanitas!” She whimpered and her muscles clamped hard around my fingers. “I’m com—“

“I know, babygirl,” I moaned in return. “Me too…!”

I pressed my forehead on hers when she let out a final scream and drenched my hand in her juices. I wasn’t far behind as the moment her voice rang out I shot out everything that was in me onto her. Her throbs dulled and I went limp as we tried to catch our breaths. We were dripping in sweat but that didn’t stop our lips from meeting each other even though it was barely a kiss.

“Babygirl, huh?” She laughed as her body began to cool down.

“Shut up,” I threw myself back down on her bed. Now I was drained. “Fuck.”

She pulled herself up with her bed sheets covering her breasts and I couldn’t help but smirk. She wasn’t so modest just a minute ago.

“I need a shower,” she said as she stretched. I watched her try to get out of the bed but her legs were trembling. I couldn’t help but chuckle when she finally waddled out and up to her window to peer outside. “More fog.”

“Hm,” I crossed my hands behind my head, only watching her bareback and the curve of her ass under that thin sheet.

“Come back to bed.”

She whisked her head at me with a sly smile, “you miss me already?”

She sauntered over to my side and sat beside me. I felt her fingers brush my bangs aside and watched her eyes watch me. She was so beautiful, her hair in a complete mess and still reeling from such an intense orgasm.

“We have to shower,” she whined.

“And how exactly are we going to do that?” I mused. “Your roommates, remember?”

She mulled it over but grinned quickly. “I’ll go make sure no one is in there and you portal yourself in.”

I couldn’t even object when she’d thrown a towel at me. I pulled it from my head just to catch her robe slip over that perfect ass.

“You stand by the door and I’ll go check.”

I sniggered as she quietly left the room. Hopping to my feet I wrapped my towel around my waist and peered out the crack of the door to see her gesture me forward. Quickly, I closed her door, opened a portal, and in moments I was standing in front of her. I looked around at the green and white decor as well as the products sprawled all over the counter.

“Cute.”

She rolled her eyes, “you go first.”

“First?” My brow lifted, “why don’t we just go together?”

Her cheeks flushed and it only got worse when I dropped the towel around my waist. It was nothing she hadn’t seen before but it really did have a way to make her blush. Slowly, I pulled the belt of her robe until it came undone. I slid it off her shoulders and it fell to the ground, the golden-skinned girl stood naked before me once again.

I couldn’t help but grab her by her waist and lock our lips. Her kiss was so warm, mouth soft and gentle. If I wasn’t careful I’d have her bent over the bathroom counter in seconds. Luckily she pulled us apart, took my hand, and led me into the bathtub.

I’d never showered with anybody before but moving my hands all over Hikari’s enticing body made me want to do it all the time. We’d spent so much of it kissing and just touching; we didn’t have to say a word. She was so bashful whenever I’d lather her up and she caught me off guard when she squeezed my ass while washing my back but every moment was bliss. When we got out and brushed our teeth with a spare toothbrush she’d found me I couldn’t keep my eyes off her and once we were done I was over her again and on her lips.

Now we were in her room, once again thanks to another portal and I was hooking her into her bra after convincing her to let me slather her in lotion. She smelt delicious and I wanted to keep her close as I nuzzled her neck but she walked up to her closet.

“So what are you doing today?” She asked as she pulled out an oversized burgundy red sweater.

“I have a couple meetings,” I groaned and slid my pants over my boxers. “Lots of boring stuff, why?”

“Just asking,” I watched her bend that perfect rump over as she pulled out a pair of black thigh-high socks. I loved her legs, mostly bare and when they were around me but a sweater dress and a long pair of socks that rested anywhere on her thighs was like her uniform. She always looked so cozy and I could imagine her curled up somewhere immersed in one of her thousands of books. I genuinely wondered how many clothes just like that she owned.

I heard the closet door creak, pulling me out of my thoughts. She walked beside me on the bed, tossed her stuff, then made her way back to the closet. When she came out I recognized my clothes in her hands.

“I washed them,” she smiled and laid them on the bed. “Hope that’s okay.”

I grabbed her hips to pull her in front of me. She giggled, only in her red panties and bra as I laid kisses on her bare stomach.

“I wish you hadn’t,” I admitted. “I wanted them to smell like you.”

“Vanitas…”

She couldn’t get out another word when I threw her on her back onto the bed. I was on my feet quickly, grabbed her socks, and hoisted her legs around my neck.

“You know…” I kept my eyes cast down on her and she bit down on her lip with excitement. I found myself licking my own lips while I slid the first sock down her leg. “I didn’t get to fuck you in those heels, Hikki.”

Her cheeks flushed, “next time?”

My lips spread to a wolfish grin as my hands pulled down her second sock. Once I reached her thigh I pressed my body against hers.

“Oh, there will definitely be a next time.”

Our kiss was open, tongues tangled within one another and her hands in my hair.

“‘Kari?”

We froze. The voice knocked against the door and I heard the redhead whisper a panicked “damnit”. I rose a brow, it wasn’t anybody I recognized when she finally said the name and crawled out from under me.

“Yes Mari?” She called out and then turned to me and harshly whispered. “You have to go _now_.”

I flopped back on the bed, dreading being away from her but she was right. Our fun had to come to an end eventually and I had to meet the others to discuss moving into the next phase of our plan. I threw on my plaid shirt and immediately started looking for my wallet and phone.

“It looks like you left some of your stuff out here,” she replied. “Your guest too.”

We looked back to each other stunned as the memories came pouring back. I’d left all my shit outside. We hadn’t even thought about it because we were too busy messing around. Hikari cringed and turned back to the door.

“We’re coming.”

“See you soon,” Mari sang from outside the door and the redhead pursed her lips. She threw on her dress and I found myself admiring her once again. It was loose and too big for her, the sleeves covered most of her hands and the scoop neckline was only held up by her breasts but it was short and with those socks on somehow made her even cuter.

“Vanitas?” She held out her hand to me, the other curled to her mouth and I just wanted to grab her in my arms and just take her one last time. Fuck she made this hard. Why’d she have to be so cute?

My hand found hers and I gave her a reassuring kiss to her temple. I wasn’t sure what we were in for but I had a vague idea. She took a deep breath and together we walked into the empty hallway. The closer we got to the entrance of the apartment the more I realized the whole gang was here, we were only missing Aqua, Terra, and Namine.

Their eyes gawked at us as they all straightened in their seats, surprised by the revelation that it had been me stealing the redhead all along.

“Vanitas!?” Ventus rose to his feet, completely stunned to see me again.

“B-but,” Sora stuttered. “How?”

“We thought you were…” Roxas held a look of resentment and shock with fists clenched where he sat.

Hikari looked to me in confusion but I only smiled sweetly at her.

“Hikari… These are my brothers.”

Her hand clasped over her mouth, “why didn’t yo—“

“I was suspicious at Nightingale,” I lied. “But I couldn’t be too sure.”

“You’ve been spying on us?” Roxas’ nostrils flared.

“Spying on _you_?” I sneered. “No. Looking after _my_ light, yes.”

Hikari’s cheeks reddened in that adorable way they always did from my affection. It was apart of the game but I did enjoy to see her flustered. Almost as much as I liked to see how shocked the others were but not as much as I loved to see how angry Roxas could get.

“I only figured it out yesterday,” I lied again in a whisper to the redhead. “I wanted to tell you but… We didn’t do much talking.”

She blushed but now I guided her to the couch. I took a seat right beside Roxas and before she could even think to sit between us I threw her into my lap.

Now she was nervous, flustered as she forced herself to get comfortable with my arms lazily strewn upon her.

“I’m so lost,” a brunette sitting cross legged in the armchair across from Ventus spoke. I could only assume she was Mari.“Who are you?”

“It’s a long story,” I tangled my fingers in Hikari’s. “Complicated too. Let’s just say Sora, Ventus, Roxas and I all have some history. But don’t most siblings?”

“I’m not your brother,” Roxas growled. I was going to taunt him further when Hikari dipped towards him and took his hand. I felt a spike of jealousy flow through me but took a deep breath. The last thing I would do is lose to Roxas. I didn’t care if he was his own person now, he was still a nobody.

“Roxas… Soulmates, remember?” Hikari’s smile soothed him and he leaned back in his seat. Soulmates? What the hell was that about? I’d have to question her but it did it’s job and calmed him. She really had a way of controlling the wildest among us.

“How did you even meet?” Riku crossed his arms from the breakfast table where he sat with Xion, Kairi, and Sora.

“You don’t exactly go here,” Axel glared from the kitchen where he sat on the counter, a bowl of cereal in hand.

Hikari’s eyes dodged her friends as she gnawed her lip, completely unaware of what to say. Her mind pondered it over and finally spoke.

“I was training,” she responded. “And Vanitas found me. We’ve been talking since then.”

“When was this?” Xion questioned.

“Around when I first got to Orenda,” she pulled back her lips, pathetically trying to hide the smile that was forming.

“You mean to tell me,” Mari sneered. “You’ve had a boyfriend since the beginning and didn’t tell me!?”

“What?” Hikari shook her head immediately. “No! I never said that. Mar, no.”

“You sitting in his lap says otherwise,” she muttered.

Hikari hopped to her feet instantly turning towards me as not to meet the eye of her best friend.

“It’s not like that I— Ah!”

The redhead tumbled and landed on the crotch of the blond on the other end of the couch. Okay, now I was agitated.

“Kari,” Mari laughed. “Do you have two boyfriends now?”

Instantly we were all beaming red on the sofa. She hastily skidded off of him and squished herself to the center, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

“I’m just teasing,” the brunette winked. “Much like Vanitas did you this morning.”

Her head shot to her friend but before she could stop her Axel asked, “what?”

“You guys didn’t hear it?” Mari remarked. “Hikari was moaning so loud it woke me up. To be fair, Vani-boy wasn’t so quiet getting to the end there either.”

Axel burst out laughing and I heard all the others but Roxas snigger as well. My eyes broadened, who the hell was this chick and how were she and Hikari so close? She was so bold compared to the quiet redhead; they were polar opposites.

“S-sorry,” Hikari stammered. “W-we… We were—“

“I think it’s obvious what you were doing,” Roxas snapped, that shut the group up. I glared towards him as the fury in his eyes built. Hikari was all forgiving but I wasn’t.

“You sound upset about that,” I smirked. “Jealous?”

“Jealous?” He guffawed and eyed me down. “There’s nothing to be jealous over.”

“Are you sure?” I relaxed in my seat and looked down to the blushing girl who wouldn’t look at either of us. Her cleavage was in perfect view for us both to see and her thick thighs crossed over each other, hiding a place only I could say I tasted.

“I mean look at her,” I licked my lips. “Really look at her, Roxas.”

He tried to hold back but in moments his eyes were all over her. I could see him craving what he couldn’t have because I’d been smart enough to act. I’d told her all along that he wanted what I had but she refused to believe me. But she didn’t see it in him, how he hungered for her now, how his mind was coming up with a hundred ways to have her. She had no idea what it was like and was so naive to her own sexuality. It made overtaking her and seeing how angry it made him even better.

I threw myself onto her, wrapped an arm low on her waist and placing my hand to her lips. I tilted her head towards him and caressed her thigh. She was trembling in my touch but her gentle grip on my forearm couldn’t deter me. The others were in complete silence, probably shocked by her instant submission but this was nothing. I would own her in no time.

My fingers slid over her lips and parted them before slipping into her mouth; all the while keeping my eyes on the frustrated nobody who would do anything to have my innocent, little light.

“You want her,” my grin was vicious. “And you can’t have her.”

Roxas jumped to his feet, his eyes ablaze with hate and I leapt to mine, radiating in his negativity.

“You shouldn’t _have_ her,” he growled. “I know you, all you do is destroy.”

“But it looks like she’s all mine,” he stepped in closer, as did I. “And she hasn’t complained once.”

“Because she’s naive,” his fists clenched again, balling up so tight I could see his veins. “You’re only out to hurt her.”

“Haven’t done that yet, in fact, the exact opposite really.”

“Fuck you,” he whispered harshly. “You think that means anything?”

“I know you heard,” my tone matched his. “She was screaming for me, she needed me to do things to her you can only imagine.”

“You mean those scars?” He scoffed. “They mean nothing. I don’t need bruises to prove shit. The fact she wouldn’t be able to walk would be evidence enough.”

“It’s not just bruises anymore little brother,” my golden eyes fixed on his blue. “You think we’d really stop there? Did you know Hikki doesn’t have much of a gag reflex?”

His eyes rounded and his keyblades flashed into his hands. My smile only grew as my own was by my side in an instant.

“No, guys!” Sora ran behind Roxas and I could feel Ventus pull at my waist.

“I’ll fucking kill you, Vanitas!” Roxas roared but I only thrived off his negative energy.

“You can try!” I only smiled as we reached out for one another. “Wouldn’t change the fact that she’s not yours!”

“She’s not yours either!” Roxas fought in Sora’s grasp.

“Hm, she sure did taste like mine last night—!“

“Enough!”

The redhead rose from between us, anger written all over her face but she was so bloody cute I could never take her seriously.

“We’re not doing this here, okay?” Hikari’s eyes shifted between us. “Now get your keyblades out of here before you break something.”

He wouldn’t budge and neither would I. Hikari gave me a pointed glare, “Vanitas.”

I didn’t want to but I rolled my eyes and sneered at her as my keyblade left my hand.

“You know I can’t say no to you, that’s not fair.” She opened her mouth to speak but my eyes darted to Roxas and I cut her off. “But I guess that’s how we got here isn’t it?”

Roxas lifted his blades but Hikari stood before him before he could make another move. He glared at me but Hikari’s hand dragged him back to her. In a flash, his keyblades were gone and she was facing the both of us with that same stern glare.

“Whatever this is,” she frowned. “It ends here. I’m not some challenge you guys can use in your rivalry. I care about you both but if it’s all about who gets to _keep_ me then I don’t want any part of this. The three of us… We have a lot to figure out but not right now, especially not in front of everyone. So for the time being can you two just try and get along?”

Neither of us said a word, I would never make a truce with him, especially not over her. She didn’t have to like it but this _was_ about who could have her and I’d already stolen so many firsts. Just because I had other plans for her didn’t mean I couldn’t completely break him in the process.

I shrugged off Ventus, “I have to go anyway. It’s been fun, brother.”

I heard him growl once again and Hikari groaned as she gathered my things and walked me to the door. She pushed me into the hallway and crossed her arms standing in the doorway.

“I’m mad at you,” she didn’t even trying to hide her anger, only making her all the sweeter.

“Are we in a fight?” I cooed.

“Yes, we’re fighting now,” she sighed. “Why’d you have to push him Vanitas? This is what I was afraid of…”

“Cause you don’t listen,” I bent towards her and lifted her chin. “He wants you.”

“No—“

“I don’t care, I have you,” I sniggered and drew her into my lips. “Now be a good girl and give us a kiss.”

She could be as mad as she wanted but she could never resist what my body did to her’s. Our kiss was rough and I could smell the mint of her toothpaste and sweet aroma of that lotion I’d rubbed into her. She moaned into my mouth once I forced my tongue into her and wrapped my arms around her, placing a gentle squeeze on her ass for the others to goggle. Through lowered eyes I watched the anger on Roxas’ face diminish and turn to pain. Gently, I pulled away from her with only a soft sound of our lips.

“Next time,” I whispered to her, my eyes still on the blond. “Come to mine and _I’ll_ make sure you never walk straight again.”

Cute, little Hikari was a ball of nerves but I wasn’t done yet.

“Oh, and Mari?” The brunette focused in on me just as the others. “I’d say she tastes more like strawberries. But you’re right, she’s definitely sweet.”

With that I licked shell of her ear, bit down on it causing her to squeak and sent a harmful smile to the others.

They had no idea what was coming.

—

“Finally home I see.”

I groaned at the familiar female voice and most likely the cause for all of Hikari’s headaches. I turned from my door and saw her in a long black cloak, one from the Organization surely. Her hood was up as she played with the long silver tassels of the jacket.

“Were you worried about me?” I asked sarcastically.

“I never worry,” her arms crossed over her chest. “I was however concerned about how your little romance subplot’s going.”

I rolled my eyes, “she’s not ready yet and whatever you’re doing with her head definitely isn’t helping.”

“It’s because you refuse to push her,” she snapped back. “You’re so busy trying to stick your dick in her you got the rest of us wondering if maybe you’ve fallen for her.”

My eyes darted towards her frowning lips. I knew they’d suspected I was losing my touch but fallen for her? Absolutely not. I knew how important this mission was and had to play it safe. The girl was entangled with so many important players, one small slip and we could push her and the power she held to the other side.

“That’s impossible,” I declared.

“Is it?”

The corner of my lips pulled into a smirk, “now you sound jealous.”

“Never,” she slowly approached me, pulling down the long zipper of her coat revealing her bare sternum underneath it. “I could have you whenever I want and I sure as hell can have you better than that little virgin Lightbringer.”

“You sure about that?” I held her waist, feeling for her slim frame beneath the leather coat.

“Positive.”

Our lips were rough against one another, this was the release I needed. She wasn’t as sweet as Hikari but nothing ever was.


	23. Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are kind of back to normal for the gang after the events of Halloween but not for long.

I closed the door behind the boy who was knew how to make me uneasy. I just wanted to bask in the bliss of pleasure I’d been in earlier this day but now I had to calm down the blonde he’d so needlessly riled up.

I glowered at Roxas, still in those tight leather pants and silk red shirt Kairi and whined him into to match with Sora. His arms were crossed but him being defiant wouldn’t deny the inevitable.

“You,” I pointed down the hall to my room. “Let’s go.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” he grumbled. I walked up to him and began pushing the grump down the hall.

“I hate that guy,” he groaned. “Out of all guys, why him?”

“We’ll be back,” I muttered and practically threw him into my room and locked the door behind us.

He wouldn’t meet my gaze but I wasn’t going to budge. He collapsed on my bed with a sigh before I finally joined him.

“We can’t keep doing this.”

Roxas turned towards me but I couldn’t dare look him in the eye. “We need to set some boundaries.”

“Boundaries?”

Nodding, I replied, “just with the physical stuff.”

“Because of Vanitas?” He growled. I laid my back down beside him and glanced into his blue eyes. There was an annoyance there but thankfully not any pain.

“Not just him. We get too wrapped up in one another and end up doing crazy, dangerous things. Look at Nightingale, that almost broke us.”

“So we’ll just stop it,” he said with a curt nod. It wasn’t that simple and he knew that.

“Roxas,” I exhaled. “We can’t just stop. We have beyond shown to everyone that we just can’t stop this.”

“Well what _is_ this?”

I was still clueless when it came to figuring that out as well. I’d thought it over and over but in my heart of hearts I just knew it wasn’t as romantic as everyone claimed. We only got like this in one type of way under one kind of state; we didn’t really like each other.

“Lust,” I murmured with a blush. “I-I think.”

It was silent between us with a heavy tension. I forced myself to keep my eyes on my ceiling. It may have been blasé to say, especially so bluntly but it was also the only thing that made sense. He was a good-looking guy, really good looking; I’d have to be nuts to not be attracted to him. That didn’t mean I wanted to date him though.

“I mean, I think you’re attractive.”

My eyes widened and I blushed at his confession. I knew I had suggested to just lay it all on the line but he’d really caught me off-guard with that admission. Still, I decided to be honest as well.

“I think you’re attractive too.”

He was quiet, probably just as embarrassed as I was.

Roxas sighed shakily, “that’s normal.”

“Totally!”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“Right!”

“Unless…”

My eyes wandered to his blue and regretted turning to look at him immediately. As usual, those stunning ocean blues were observing every bit of me. In his glare I was tingling but I gulped, “unless?”

Roxas craned his head closer to mine, tempting me to close the distance with my lips but I froze in place.

“Unless we want it to mean something.”

My arms wrapped over my breasts, shielding my heart from his husky voice in a poor attempt to still its trembles. He always knew the right buttons to push with me and I hated that. No one should have been able to make my body respond the way he could. No one but Vanitas.

“I’m with Vanitas.”

That got him to back off a bit. He yanked himself back onto my sheets and only shrugged with a careless smile. Something about it told me he didn’t really believe me but whatever got him to keep off me for a little while, I would take. I’d promised mystery-boy he’d never catch me slipping like that again and after taking the leap we did in our relationship last night there was no way I’d falter.

“Besides, that bunny at the club seemed pretty interested in you. You should go out with her. It’d be for the best.”

“You think so?”

I nodded eagerly, “she was very pretty and you two seemed to hit it off.”

“That’s how you feel, huh?”

“It’s what I know sadboy. I saw you and I know you. Go for it.”

“You shouldn’t just assume my feelings weirdgirl. Believe it or not I can think for myself.”

I frowned but shrugged. I wasn’t trying to make a choice for him I was just trying to guide him towards his inevitable future. I mean it was clear Roxas had a type, how was it the next girl he spoke to after his ex was another slim blonde? He liked what he liked and he could deny it all he wanted but it wouldn’t make it any less true.

“So is it true Hikari?”

“Hm?”

“That you’ve only sung for him and I?”

I blushed and vetted his gaze, “yeah, since getting here… It seems so.”

“You’re good at it.”

I shook my head, “n-no. I was in choir when I was a kid and the teacher was a total hard-ass so he had us doing—“

“I wanna hear it again.”

Roxas smiled sweetly, which didn’t help in making me feel any less embarrassed. Singing was a stupid hobby I always caught myself doing idly but it was entertaining. The idea of doing it in front of other people was nerve-wrecking however and for someone like Roxas, a person who already had musical abilities? No way, I couldn’t do it again. Still, I only nodded slowly and rose from my bed. That was enough of that, we’d been away from the group for longer than necessary.

We found our way back to the living room and said our goodbyes to the guys not too long after. Despite everything, Halloween night had been a blast and I was beyond looking forward to having more nights like it; especially with Vanitas.

“You have to fill us in on everything!”

Sighing, I looked back to the girls who sat eagerly on the couch awaiting the tale of my little adventure from last night. A smile crept onto my lips, now that it was out in the open I could finally get some real advice.

“There isn’t much to tell really.”

The girls exchanged a look of disbelief before glaring right back at me. It was clear the wasn’t going to fly so I laid out the entire truth, the story of how we met, when I went to his condo, our first kiss, first date, and our most recent firsts minus the explicit details Mari whined to know. It wasn’t long before we were all cuddled up in the living room in various loungewear and munching on snacks as the girls helped me analyze last night’s events.

“Well did you like it?” Xion questioned from on of the solo cushions.

I nodded shyly, “I was really nervous though. I thought I might hurt him.”

“Pfft,” Mari rolled her eyes with a swig of her cherry soda. “It’s a dick Hikki, the fact that you were near it is a blessing enough for him.”

We giggled, my face reddening at her comment, “I just can’t believe I did it. We really connected guys.”

“So it’s official then?” Kairi asked.

I nibbled on my lower lip with an uneasy stare, “I think so. I mean he said I’ll be his.”

Xion raised a brow, “in what context?”

That I most definitely didn’t have an answer to so I shrugged in response. The girls immediately jumped into lecturing me about finding out where Vanitas and I stood but I was in far too much bliss. It was wild to think that just last night I’d been so intimate with a man who’d essentially found me in a forest. But my heart raced at just the thought of him and my mind spiralled into ideas and dreams of what our future together could be. I couldn’t help it, he just brought so much joy into my life. So even as my friends scolded I could only brush them off because I knew what my heart felt and what I wanted and that was to be with Vanitas.

—

Mari’s departure the next morning had been a teary one but having her come over at all had been such a highlight. She’d exchanged numbers with pretty much everyone and made sure to add them on her socials. I was happy to see my worlds mesh so well together. All I had to do now was figure out a way to get Roxas and Vanitas on track and socially my life would be sorted.

It seemed to be impossible though as whenever Vanitas came up Roxas mulled with disdain. So I had no choice but to put that idea on hold at least until I could raise his spirits a bit. It’s why I’d pushed for him to start seeing that girl from Tinker, he needed someone to occupy his time.

I’d been late for class and rushed in last minute to slip into my battle gear. My headaches were completely throwing me off. I’d forgotten my clothes at my dorm and had to go back to grab them. Once I’d gotten in I went straight to work, careless of my environment.

“Tinker was incredible!”

My brows seemingly shifted on their own. I spotted three girls in a corner giggling as they prepped for class. I’d intended on ignoring them but the were so loud, I couldn’t help but listen in.

“Right?” A girl with a short brown bob gleamed. “I’m so glad we decided to go. It was great seeing the others again.”

“Definitely,” another brunette with dyed green ends giggled. “I still can’t believe Tessa hooked up with Roxas.”

My finger froze as I was lacing up one of my boots. So that was her name, Tessa, the pretty blonde who’d stolen away my best friend. I swallowed back the tension I could feel building within me and rather chose to focus on my shoes, only occasionally peering up at the trio.

The last girl, hair of violet nodded eagerly, “she’s so lucky.”

“Well she’s his type! Did you see the other girl he was with before?”

I couldn’t prevent the frown on my lips from developing: they were right. I hadn’t gotten much of a look but a slim; blonde was definitely a good match for sadboy. He may have been in denial but it was clear to all of us.

“But I thought _she_ was his type…”

I could feel their glares piercing into me. I did my best to stay casual, pretend that I was clueless. I’d heard whispers of assumptions about Roxas’ and I’s relationship but I never gave them any thought, we were just friends after all and if this Tessa wanted him she was more than welcome to try.

I understood the assumptions, especially since dating Vanitas and the events of Halloween. He and I were far too close to be seen as platonic to the outside world but I was determined to change that.

“Well he texted Tess so I guess she was just a phase.”

The girls sniggered and shuffled their way out of the change room, leaving me to roll my eyes and gather my own belongings. I was so sick of being linked to my best friend like this and although I partially blamed myself I also blamed people for not being able to mind their own business. I was happy with Vanitas but this idea thatI was just a fling to Roxas also hurt me. He was my closest friend in Orenda and it pissed me off to be viewed as eye-candy to him. He didn’t see me that way, I knew he didn’t but it didn’t stop me from clenching my fists as I left the change room to make it over to my friends.

“Just in time,” Riku smirked. “What’s up Hikki? You look upset.”

The others peered towards me as I took a seat between Riku and Sora. I figured it was the safest option with keeping Roxas at bay. I searched my mind for an answer when toned arms wrapped around my shoulder and I felt a weight on my head. Judging by the scent I knew instantly who it was.

“What’s wrong, little light?”

My face reddened and my eyes immediately took to the floor. Roxas wouldn’t let up and only squeezed me closer.

“Hello recruits!”

I was was grateful to hear Aqua greet us as it led to us rising to salute towards her and Terra which meant the blond would no longer be dropped over me. Once we were seated yet again, she went on to explain today’s exercise and its purpose. It was a simple task so she and Terra could see how far we’d gotten with our powers but I was still a bit agitated at the conversation I’d overheard in the change room. I tried to focus ahead on the two but I could feel my temples flare and new instantly a headache was underway.

“Hikari?”

Terra’s voice pulled me back into class and I blushed after being caught spacing out.

“‘Kari?” Aqua’s hand was warm against my back. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I rose from my seat. “Gimme all you got!” I forced a smile that brought one to her as well. I could do this, it was just regular training, I’d gone on missions and put an end to countless heartless. I would be fine.

I ran to the center of the gym and bowed, waiting for my instructions.

“All right, Hikki,” I heard Terra say. “Let’s see those duplicates again.”

“Without the damage,” Aqua chuckled.

“Got it!”

I assumed the usual position, arms bent to the sides and eyes closed feeling for the light. The bulbs were getting easier to pull from, hell I’d done it at home a couple times and only broken two lights. This would be a cake walk.

I could feel the energy burn at my finger tips and rolled my head back, trying to focus it. The back of my head tingled a little more than usual but I brushed it off as an additional side-effect from the headaches.

“Find the light,” I muttered Vanitas’ words to myself. “Find the light.”

My temperature was rising and the burning shot through my arms. I choked back the pain as my mind began to throb. My brows furrowed as a force within me felt as if it was pushing back. I wouldn’t give up, even through the burning I’d find the light. I sucked in a deeper breath as the fumes travelled to my core, my heart pulsating just like the first time I’d accomplished this spell. My veins thrilled but with one final push I found release. Slowly, I opened my eyes and turned back to find a replicate.

She stood in my battle wear, hair neatly against her back with pupil-less eyes and a crazed smile. I shivered. I thought I’d managed to get them to finally stop doing that. Still, with a sigh of relief I was just glad I’d managed to conjure one up.

“Took a little longer than the last time,” Terra said, examining the figure. He approached her with Aqua. The two circled the clone who only stared back with the same demented expression and jolted head movements to watch them.

Terra reached out for her, “may I?”

“S-sure,” I murmured. I watched his hand caress her face.

“She’s so hot,” he muttered. “Pure light, right?”

I nodded as the two went back to their seats.

“Sorry,” I replied. “I’ve been a little under the weather.”

“That’s all right,” Aqua grinned. “Still, almost an uncanny resemblance.”

“Thanks,” I clasped my hands behind my back. “I—“

“What a pretty girl…”

With widened eyes I turned back to the grinning clone.

“You got them to talk now?” Terra observed. “Good work.”

“I didn’t—“

“Absolutely!” Aqua cheered. “Work on those expressions though, they’re kind of creepy.”

“Such…” the clone stepped forward, quick but disjointed. “A pretty princess.”

“The walk cycle too…” I heard Terra add. “They fight fine but getting them to behave naturally still needs work.”

I couldn’t stop it before as fast as a bullet it bent forward in front of Kairi. I looked on agape as it examined my clearly uncomfortable friend.

“Heart… princess,” it’s movements were short and repetitive now, as if suspended in air. “Such a pretty girl.”

Kairi chuckled, anxiously, “okay Hikki… This is a little scary now.”

I could hear my classmates chuckle and tried to play it off as well. It had to be a glitch, an issue raised from my headaches. I could figure it out later, I just had to dismantle this clone.

“Right…” I held my hand back to it, guiding the light in my direction. “To me.”

It straightened so quickly it spooked all of us. I could see the back of it’s head tilt to the side, peering at Roxas I assumed before it took steps backwards in my direction. I prayed this examination was almost over when it stopped.

“Another?” It questioned.

“Hm?” Aqua cocked a brow. “Yes, actually, let’s get a few more in here. See them work as a team.”

My fists clenched, the pounding in my head only growing louder. I should have just called it quits, admit I didn’t know what was going on.

“Much faster,” Terra said. “Nice.”

My eyes opened at the flash of two replicates staring back at my class. My feet quickly walked to stand before them and saw both with the same wild expression. I cringed at the sight and gnawed on my lip.

“So let’s see them—“

“This body…” the newest clone looked to her own hands before turning to the original duplicate. “Your body?”

“Our body,” the first confirmed. “Pretty.”

The second clone ran her hands through the first’s hair, giving it a thorough examination. I gawked as their hands went down the curves of the other’s body.

“What a pretty girl!’ She cheered.

“We’re a pretty girl!” The other grinned.

“He likes it a lot.”

“So does he.”

“They both love this body.”

“Lots of boys want this body.”

“Lots of boys need this body.”

Suddenly, in unison their eyes glared at me with the same creepy smile, “the body of a whore.”

I blushed wildly and summoned my keyblade, “Guess I’m sicker than I thought.” Forget a simple dismantling; I’d strike these bitches down.

They joined hands and I froze in an instant.

“It’s your destiny…”

“… To start over.”

The ceiling lights flickered and the girls began giggling. I stepped back to the bench, feeling Terra rise by my side.

“This isn’t you,” he whispered and summoned his keyblade to his side.

“I don’t— Ah!”

The blood rushed to my head rapidly. A spark lit in my brain, fuming in full force. I clenched to my scalp but felt the warmth of Aqua on my shoulders.

“You’re burning up.”

“I-I… I’m okay…” The girls’ laughter only seemed to increase in volume but I found my footing and glared to them. “Stop…!”

“But we’re having so much fun.”

Our heads whisked to the left at the sound of my voice. It was another clone entering with four others giggling behind her.

“Weapons ready!” I heard Terra’s say but it was a whisper compared to the laughing. “Hikari, get back!”

“But why?” Another flicker of light, another clone. “This body is built to play.”

A raspy gasp left my throat and I felt my knees buckle. I hit the floor hard, my name and laughs in my ears. I could barely open my eyes, all I could see was speckles of light and blurry visions of clones.

My heart beat faster and my mind struggled to push through the pain. Suddenly, there was a thud from the top of the bleachers. My ears perked at the sound of clanging metal and screams. I sucked in a breath and saw my exact copy starring down at me from the bleachers. Her nails were vicious, long white claws and her eyes only globs of lights. Her smile was far more relaxed than the others, terrifyingly so.

“See!?” She rolled her head back. “Aren’t we having fun, Terra?”

“Lock the doors!” Aqua commanded. “We’ll finish them here.”

Before anyone could move I groaned, clutching on my chest. Aqua jumped in front of me, Terra on the other side, shielding my frail shell from any damage. I could hear the click of locks but hadn’t seen anyone else move.

“Oh, Aqua,” she took slow steps towards us. “You think I’d run?”

A surge of energy barreled out of me and into a bitter scream. I flung my body backwards, my head hitting the ground and my eyes rolled. I tasted metal in my mouth and spit up the blood that had been building in a violent hurry. I could hear Roxas shout for me but more red pools blinded my eyes.

There was the sound of clashing metal, my voice laughing from all corners of the room and grunts as a fight began. My body was limp but trembling from the heat. I was burning on the inside, which only led to me flipping over on the ground pouring blood from my throat and eyes.

_“Bring the light, Hikari!”_

_“Don’t you want to burn?”_

_“You burn so brightly.”_

Would they stop talking!? Yelling about things I couldn’t make sense of, all at once so I could barely understand them. What had I done? What was happening? I was as hot as a furnace, twitching and melting as my friends fought my mistake. How did this happen? I had to fight! I had to do something!

My hands found the ground, fingers trembling but I fought to stand. I managed to prop myself up and looked to the chaos around me. I could hardly make sense of it. Everyone moved so quickly, fighting their hardest against these animals that I’d created. But with each slash it was like another arrived, more harmful than the last.

The voices never stopped either, gleeful screams of nonsense and noisy giggles. I needed to do something. There had be a way to make it stop. Gingerly, I rose my hand to the ceilings, trying to steal some amount energy.

_“You’re your best when you’re burning.”_

_“Renewal awaits, don’t be selfish!”_

_“Bring the light!”_

“Shut up!” I screamed at the pounding in my mind. “Just… Shut up!”

“Giving up already?”

I was yanked to my feet by my hair and forced to face the most intelligent of the clones. My eyes scanned the room and saw she’d shielded us from the turmoil with line framed as my body. I hadn’t seen this version of the clones before. They were feature less, just light shaped as me.

“Why are you doing this?” I couldn’t escape her grip but glared with all the hate I could muster.

“Because you’re wasting time!” She growled. “Fucking around with boys when there’s work to be done… We’re depending on you!”

“To do what!?”

“Haven’t you been listening? Reset the worlds!”

“Reset?”

The clone dragged me closer, forcing me to squint back from the globes of light she called eyes. “Why did it have to be you? You’re weak!”

She dashed me to the ground once again. I scrapped the floor and gasped from the agony of my wounds and constant flaming. Roxas’ voice was in my ears once again but her hands quickly wrapped around my hair again, our face inches apart.

“You don’t want to work, huh?”

“I don’t know—“

“Of course you don’t!” She cried and whisked my head to Roxas’ direction.

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

I didn’t get to answer as the clones chimed in eagerly.

“ _It is_!”

“ _He’s the one!_ ”

“ _It’s his fault!_ ”

Shaking my head, I spit my answer at her, “no! I’m the one you want. Leave him out of this!”

“I want redemption!” She rasped. “I want peace!”

“ _I want to crossover!_ ”

“ _Bring the awakening!_ ”

“ _Renewal, renewal, renewal!_ ”

“Okay, I’ll do it!” Whatever it took, I would do. I just couldn’t see anyone get hurt, especially him. I’d already done so much damage to him. I couldn’t stand to put him through anymore pain. “Just please… Not him.”

A laugh left her mouth causing my face to twist into one of confusion.

“So it’s true,” she cackled. “You do like him best!”

“ _She does! She does!_ ”

“ _He’s the only one!_ ”

“ _He’s the reason!_ "

“I told him too,” the leader’s voice filled with disgust. “But he wouldn’t believe it. He thought, you were easy…”

_“All whore’s are!”_

_“Such a bad, bad girl!”_

_“Doing dark, evil things!”_

“But he got mad at me for seeing through it,” she frowned. “He’s the boy you like.”

“ _Your one!_ ”

“ _It’s his fault!_ ”

“ _End him, begin the awakening!_ ”

“I think if you needed retribution as badly as I did, you’d find the courage.”

“ _Retribution!_ ”

“ _End him!_ ”

“ _Bring the true awakening!_ ”

“ _Burn in the light!_ ”

“Leave him out of this!” I pleaded. “Leave them all out of this! I’ll do whatever you want.”

She held her palm towards him, only glaring at me, a smirk on her lips.

“You lack motivation.”

As soon as those words left her mouth her fist clenched tight. The clones by the blond burst into a bright, powerful light and I shrieked. I shut my eyes from it but heard him scream. Roxas was captured in the explosion, surrounded by the heat that I found was burning me alive. I peeked and felt my jaw drop at the sight of his limp body.

“Roxas!”

My feet found the floor and I leapt into action. I don’t know where the pain had gone but as I slid to him it evaporated. I crouched over him, calling out his name and begging for a response.

“I’m sorry,” the blood from my eyes dripped onto his pale cheeks. “It’s my fault, I’m sorry.”

His breathes were shallow but he still wasn’t moving. The tears came faster as I prayed to see those blue eyes once more.

“Please Roxas,” I caressed his face, pressing my forehead onto his. “Come on…”

“I’m going to destroy any and everything you hold dear,” she threatened. “Starting with him!”

“No,” the tears sizzled on my cheeks. “I won’t let you!”

“End him,” they chanted, screaming in my ears but I wouldn’t move.

“I always told him…” the head replicate’s voice was dark, closer. “You like him best.”

I threw myself over Roxas and felt the light burst within me.

—-

A pale glow glimmered before me. I could feel my long lashes graze my cheeks and opened them slowly; no longer faced with red but the white of a ceiling. The bulb was dim and my body was sore. I could feel a weight on my legs and glanced down to a mess of blond spikes.

Roxas lay still arms crossed over me in slumber. He looked so peaceful I didn’t want to disturb him. My eyes gazed over the room, with the sterile equipment, various colours of whites I deduced I’d been taken to our medics. The curtain of my quad was pulled tight but to my left was a slightly open window with curtains pulled aside. The sun was setting; we had to be heading to the evening, how long had I been out for?

There was a low hum in my ears and a dull pain at my temples. I lifted my hand to rub the sore but fixated on the IV protruding from the back of my hand. My sleeves were gone. With a quick look I realized I must have been changed into one of the hospital gowns we carried.

I reached out to exam further but felt a sharp pain in my back. My scapula was tender, bruised probably and aching. What the hell? How could that be?

Leaning back in my bed I rested my hand on Roxas’ head. His hair was so soft and from here I could smell the vanilla of his shampoo. Why was he here? He’d been knocked out. From here he appeared fine as he took gentle breaths but the attack had been brutal. I hoped I hadn’t managed to hurt him.

“Hikari…”

I rose a brow and spied the blond muttering my name. There was a smile on his lips that I took to mean he must have been having a pleasant dream. His breath was heavy as the muttering continued.

“Angel… Like that,” he was incoherent but whatever was on his mind made my cheeks flush. “Just like that… Fuck, angel…” His voice was deep and I fault myself begin to ache at those words. Instantly images of the night before with Vanitas in my arms came to mind.

“It’s just us. I’ll protect…. Protect you.”

I couldn’t take it and rubbed my fingers against his jaw.

“Roxas?” I cooed. “Roxas, wake up.”

Those long lashes fluttered and I was greeted by those hazy blue eyes and a coy smile, “angel…”

Lord, that didn’t help. He must have still been waking up. I laughed nervously and ruffled his hair.

“Not quite. Are you okay?”

He yawned and propped himself up on my thighs, “I should be asking you that.”

I shrugged, “I’m okay I guess.”

“What was that?”

I was just as lost as anybody else. My clones were my most mastered spell, right next to healing. Vanitas had taught me how to do it and I’d practiced and practiced it over all the time. I normally didn’t even have to think when it came to using them.

“I don’t know Roxas…”

My eyes strung, fresh tears pooling in them but I fought against it. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. How could I have lost so much control so quickly? I knew this stuff; I had it down to a science.

“I’m such an idiot,” I muttered. “I put everyone in danger because I’m weak.”

Roxas clasped my hands in his. His eyes were earnest and his smile sympathetic but kind.

“None of this is your fault.”

“Bu—“

“Don’t even start,” he squeezed my hands in his own. “You’re incredible Hikari. You’re sweet and kind and powerful. Don’t let one little mishap make you think otherwise.”

“Roxas…”

“And whenever you need to be reminded of that just count on me, okay?”

I blushed at the sight of that gorgeous smile and casted my eyes to the ground. As angry as I was with myself over this disaster I had to remember what I’d been promising all my friends, that’s I’d do my best, that I’d be strong. He may have thought I was powerful but I didn’t feel it, not just yet but that was no reason to give up. I had to push forward, like he said, it was a mishap. I’d do better, train harder, and I’d figure out just who or what was throwing me off my game. And I knew I could do it because I had him, Vanitas, Mari, and all my friends cheering me on. I had to do it, I had to be strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lord Jesus, I am SO sorry y'all about the lateness of posting this chapter. Normally I get this stuff up early on a Monday morning (like midnight) but I've been pretty busy working on animations (check out my TikTok @LCEcstatic) so I'm a bit behind. I'm not in love with this chapter and it probably needs to be edited but I wanted to get it up. Anyway, thanks for being so patient, see you next week!


	24. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Hikari's symptoms worsen, she finds herself looking to an unlikely ally for support.

My chest was heavy and my sight dark. I tried to rise to my feet but found something had me trapped. I couldn’t see anything but I could feel something cold and hard. I squirmed, trying to find some kind of release but it did no good, I was stuck. My breaths grew shallow as the pressure went on and it appeared my ankles were tied down as well.

“…Lost but she’ll find it.”

I whisked my head in the direction of the voice. It was low and bitter, possibly coming from an older man.

“…She’s the light…”

Another voice, male but not as bitter, jovial maybe. It was across the first, mumbling about things I didn’t understand. My neck followed the sounds of the voices but their words had just become noise. I was completely in the dark amongst their murmurs looking for some sort of exit. My heart thudded so loud I wondered if they’d sensed my fear as their whispers died down. Their looming presence remained however and even the air felt still.

“Little light…”

The jovial voice seemed to call for me. His voice was clear, his smell of ash as I felt him whisper in my ear.

“Unlock the Helix and bring the awakening.”

I shot up from my bed sheets in a cold sweat. The ring of my heart carried over from my nightmare and I took shaky breaths to slow the rhythm. I was back in my room, shrouded in darkness still but free from my bindings and in a familiar setting. I crashed back down into my bed before taking a quick glance at my phone. It was only a bit past 2AM.

It had been three days since the attack.

My headaches had finally subsided with the thanks of dozens of pain killers but Aqua and Terra still had yet to approve me for missions again. I hated sitting out and it only got worse since. It felt like everyone’s eyes were on me, a courtesy my friends were used to but I absolutely was not.

Still, even with my headaches reducing by the day, the nightmares didn’t stop. In fact, I thought my dreams were getting even stranger after all that chaos. Nothing I was seeing made any sense to me. It was like every night strange new words would pop up with obscure visions and I’d wake up feeling restless, like I was missing something.

But nothing ever came to mind.

I’d considered talking to my friends about it, after all, they did know about the headaches but that attempt felt futile. So instead I bottled it in and did whatever research I could to find some answers even though my searches always ended up empty.

I let out a deep sigh and rolled over to my side once more. All this thinking tonight wouldn’t get me anywhere. I just needed to catch some sleep and get back to work in the morning.

—

It was after classes and against the advice of the medics, here I was in tight fitted black shorts and a cropped black sweatshirt training my ass off. It was a Friday and even though I had plans I’d rushed to one of the gyms, lucky to find it completely vacant. After changing, I’d spent the past forty minutes summoning clones and practicing with them.

They were much better behaved than during the incident: silent and impassive. There wasn’t a sound or creepy smile to be seen or heard anywhere. They were just as responsive and well behaved during my first mission.

I just didn’t understand what the hell had happened. My mind ran it back over and over again but nothing made sense.

I couldn’t worry about any of that now. If I wanted to get back in the field I’d have to prove it. I wasn’t weak, despite how it may of seemed. Not anymore.

I threw my arm into the air, gathering the light, “come on!”

Light flickered and another three clones, just as stoic as the first appeared. Yet again they were in perfect condition. So just what the hell had happened that day? It couldn’t have been the nightmares. When those had started my clones were still controllable, I’d even used them on missions. I tried to think back, looking for anything out of the ordinary but found absolutely nothing that would cause that huge of a behavioural change in my doppelgängers.

Stumped and beyond frustrated I summoned my keyblade and made quick work of dissipating each clone. They may not have been the brats from that incident but that didn’t mean I couldn’t get some of my anger out.

“Looks like you’re back to normal.”

“Ah, Kairi,” quickly the clones shattered into light. “How’d you find me?”

“With how much you were begging to get back on the field it only made sense I’d find you here.”

Chuckling, I ran over to my bag to gather my things. “Yeah, I just don’t want to get left behind.”

“Any luck on the research?” She approached me still in uniform with a kind smile just as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

Sighing, I shook my head, “absolutely nothing. Hey, I’m really sorry about all that.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, Hikki,” she giggled. “I know you weren’t trying to hurt me.”

I nodded slowly but the guilt would forever weigh me down. It was one thing for this stuff to hurt me but my friends were a whole other thing. I was scared for them, scared of what I may do to them and even though I knew they were tough it didn’t make me worry any less.

“I’ve actually been thinking about all this,” she said and gestured for me to follow her back to our dorm.

“Oh yeah?”

“I think you should talk to Namine about it.”

I couldn’t stop my lips from frowning at the sound of her name but Kairi was already ahead.

“Don’t pout,” she scolded. “I already filled her in and she’s expecting you in an hour or two.”

“What? Kairi, I can’t.”

“Come on! I know things have been weird between you two since Halloween but—“

“No, it’s not that,” well it wasn’t _all_ that. “I… I kind of already have plans.”

Trying to avoid Kairi’s curious glare was meaningless as my flushed cheeks gave it all away. She smiled slyly instantly and I knew the teasing was on its way. “What time?”

“Around 6PM.”

“Well that gives you plenty of time for a quick therapy session with Nami.”

I suppose she was right. There was no harm in stopping by just to see if Namine could decode these wild thoughts. I just had to keep it professional and avoid talking about Roxas at all costs.

“And it gives me plenty of time to help you prepare for your date.”

My eyes gawked to the ground which only led her to burst into laughter.

—

The bell of the door chimed as Axel and I stepped into the crowded jungle of colourful plants and flowers from every craves of the dark wooded shop. It was such a whimsical setting with the blissful aromas and eye-catching greenery all centered around the front desk of worn wood where a tall man with striking cut features sat, eyes lazily skimming through a small black book.

“What up Isa?” Axel greeted the blue-haired man who didn’t pay him any mind. Off to the side of the counter was a large door which crept open to reveal a petite Namine lugging in a basket of roses.

“I thought that was you Axel,” she smiled as she placed the bin down, revealing herself to be in a simple white dress with petaled fringes. “Ah, welcome Hikari.”

The man, Isa, raised a brow and my face deepened in red at the sight of his calculating expression, He was hard to read in his sleeveless black turtleneck, legs crossed so dainty in his dark jeans and that mop of blue hair wrapped neatly into a bun atop his head. It was even harder to believe that he and Axel were friends, I thought skimming back to the messy ponytail on the redhead.

“Hikari…” He muttered, his eyes seemingly memorizing every inch of my shaky frame. “Quite small isn’t she Axel?”

He chortled and threw his arm over my shoulders, “she’s a little firecracker.”

My cheeks flushed as Isa gracefully stepped down from the stool. I was weary before him, feeling as if the two must have discussed me previously but couldn’t find it in myself to say a word.

I grimaced as he approached. His marine-blue eyes searched me causing me to flinch. My hands clenched tighter by my lips before he brought his hand over my head.

“She reminds me of her.”

“See?” Axel grinned. “Told ya.”

I cocked a brow when I heard Namine chuckle.

“Hikari, let’s go to the garden.”

Isa pet me once more before tilting his head to the french glass doors tucked away in the back. My lips curled into a nervous smile before running after the blond. Once the cool fall air hit my face I let out a calming breath. Isa made me incredibly nervous, maybe it was because he was so different from the others. I’d never really known anyone as serious as him, I couldn’t believe he and Axel were so close.

“Don’t mind Isa,” Namine said as if she’d read my thoughts. “He takes some getting used to but he’s really a sweet guy.”

I nodded slow, unable to believe her but choosing to keep that information to myself. Instead, I chose to focus on the colour changing nature surrounding us. Their backyard felt massive but seeing as the two lived on the outskirts of town it made sense. There were trees that seemed to disappear into the cloudy sky and plants and brushes as far as the eye could see. It was quite beautiful with the labelled plots for specific flowers and foods and the tinkering yellow lights someone had strung through the trees.

It wasn’t too far from the house either as soon the narrow, dirt-ridden pathway led us to a small enclosure circled by wilting cherry blossom trees with three ornate steal benches in the middle.

“This is amazing…”

“Thank you,” Namine offered me a bench across from the one she stood at. “Have a seat.”

I sat slowly, careful not to knick my clothes against the steel just as she pulled up her sketchbook that had been resting on the bench.

“So, Kairi tells me you’re having some strange thoughts.”

“Yeah, more like these weird dreams actually.”

“What about?”

I found myself wringing my wrists, unsure of where to begin or just how much to say. Namine’s judgement made me far more nervous than I ever cared to admit. Still, my friends were insistent that she was good at what she did and it wasn’t like I was finding any other answers elsewhere.

“It’s hard to pinpoint,” I mumbled. “I’m trapped and these voices keep talking about things I don’t understand.”

“Like what?”

“Well it’s always about finding something and recently a helix was mentioned? Whatever that even is. I tried to brush it all off initially but then after the attack at base…”

“I heard,” Namine replied, fiddling away at her sketchbook.

“Yeah, I mean in my dreams the voices said something about an awakening and it just can’t be a coincidence, you know? I still don’t have answers for that but I know it all has to be connected.”

Her head bobbed slowly, “and none of this has ever happened before?”

“None.”

“Hm…” The blonde placed her pencil to her lips. “Tell me about your childhood.”

“What?” My brow cocked with confusion. I wasn’t sure what exactly me being a kid had to do with these strange memories. Was she looking for more ammo to insult me later?

“It could help,” smiled Namine, as if she’d read my mind again. “This is a safe space, Hikari.”

That didn’t make me feel any safer but if her playing therapist could help me find some answers I couldn’t hold back.

“It was pretty normal,” I began. “I’ve lived in Twilight Town with Mar and Lucas, all my life. I can’t really say I’ve experienced anything out of the ordinary before Halcyon.”

“What about your parents?” She went back to sketching, eyes scanning over her sheet calmly. “Do you know anything about them?”

“No. When Lucas lost his wife he wanted a companion for Mari and adopted me. I don’t know a thing about the agency or my life in it and honestly, I’ve never really cared to find out.”

“Why’s that?”

Shrugging, I answered trying to hold back my agitation, “never really felt necessary. They’re my family, that town is my home. Nothing before them really matters to me. Is any of this actually helpful?”

She ignored my inquiry and kept prodding, “in your dreams, how do you feel?”

“Feel?”

“Yes, are you cold? Hot? Calm?”

Another odd question but I humoured her with an answer, “I’ve never really thought about my feelings during one of the dreams. I mean I know something is holding me down and I always wake up in a cold sweat but in the dream… It’s like I’ve been sedated. Everything feels weirdly mellow, creepily so to be honest.”

“Hm… Close your eyes and sit back.”

Namine didn’t even look up from her sketchbook as I followed her instructions. “Empty your mind,” she said and I rolled my eyes from behind their lids. I knew she was just trying to help but I didn’t feel any closer to solving this mystery.

“Play back your latest dream in your mind. Account for every smell, anything you can taste, everything, okay?”

I nodded slowly and thought back to the early morning. I felt the pressure against my wrists and ankles, a cold metal weighing me down. My heartbeat was slow and my breaths shallow. The smell of smoke filled my lungs but I couldn’t cough, I couldn’t move any part of my body or even see through the darkness. But I could hear. I could hear heavy steps approach me, long drawn out breaths and like before, words I couldn’t make sense of. My fingers curled, the sound of my cracking knuckles now in my ears before I felt the sharp jagged edge of my nails pressing into my palms.

What was the? What was going on? I had to get out of here. It was even worse than before. At least then I could understand the voices to some degree, now they were completely inaudible. My throat dried as the hairs on my body rose. I could feel my teeth chatter. Was I cold? Had I always been cold?

“Your mind…” Namine’s voice drew me slowly from my confusion. “It’s a jumbled mess, Hikari.”

I wanted to respond, question her, but I couldn’t find the words. I was locked down to the bench, still in this strange state between my reality and nightmare.

“Nothing makes any sense,” she continued. “You’re shattered.”

Shattered? No, no I wasn’t. No way. I couldn’t be. I was fine.

“How have you even gone on this long like this?”

What the hell was she talking about!? Why had I even come here? Of course she couldn’t help. This was just some ploy, some plan to get under my skin, it had to be.

“All these unconnected pieces.”

I needed to leave, now. I needed to break out of her spell, find my footing and run. The longer I stayed the further she dug her claws into my mind. I needed a push, I needed out!

“You should stay away from Roxas. Like this, you’re no good for him.”

“No!” My body jolted up from my sweat. I was trembling, fighting to catch my breath and still my hands. My eyes pointed to the clouds in the sky but my vision was blinded by rage as I dropped my head to the side and glared at Namine.

“You never wanted to help me.”

Startled, she shook her head, “of course I did. It’s just like this I—“

“You’re a liar,” I cut her off and threw my legs over the bench. “My mind isn’t broken and my past doesn’t matter! You just did all this for him! Why are you still trying to keep him from me?”

“Because you’re dangerous,” her innocent demeanour cracked. “And I want you to stay away from him.”

Our eyes locked, a hate flowing between us. We were both silent as the wind rustled through her garden. I should have known better, I should have known that when it came to her things would always come back to him.

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough.”

Scoffing, my eyes rolled, “how? You said it yourself, my mind is a mess. You couldn’t see a damn thing to know a damn thing about me!”

“What I saw was enough to know that if you stay with him or god forbid get any closer to him you two will destroy each other.”

“Destroy each other? Jesus, are you kidding me!?” I couldn’t take this, I couldn’t take the melodrama or the constant blame. He was my friend, my very best friend here and nothing could change that. Especially not his insecure ex-girlfriend. I didn’t care how long they dated, as long as he would have me, I’d stay with Roxas. She could never change that.

“From the start you have been nothing but fake and cold to me,” my fists clenched. “And all I ever did was try and be cordial with you. But since the jump, since you knew we were friends you made up this wild theory in your mind that I’m out to corrupt him! For Christ’s sake Namine, we are just friends!”

“Destiny says otherwise.”

“Destiny— ? God. Why do you hate me!?”

Her brows twitched as she searched carefully for her words. She knew the answer, I knew she did. She was just afraid to say it. Why now? Why was she suddenly scared now? She’d already come all this way, why not confess? As if it wasn’t like I didn’t have enough problems. I’d come here to decode the clones and instead I got stuck fighting about Roxas.

“I don’t hate you, Hikari,” her eyes gazed into my own. “I just don’t trust you.”

My brows rose from they’re creased angered expression and my feet planted firmly on the ground. The silence between was interrupted as I rose, eyes sharp and burning into her. Her own gaze strained and for once, it looked as if she was cowering to me. With an empty stare, I turned my back on her and left the garden.

—-

The city was bustling as usual; cars, people, and tall buildings galore.

I straightened my mustard yellow, mid-thigh length jean skirt and readjusted my beige, v-neck sweater. Fidgeting with my outfit was all I could do to keep my mind off Namine’s words. _I just don’t trust you_. God, she was insufferable! Who the hell did she think she was? No, no I wouldn’t go through this again, not when Vanitas was on his way.

Just then, I felt a familiar buzz from the small black bag I had hanging over my shoulder. I sighed, assuming it was Kairi about to scold me for fighting with Namine. To my surprise it was a text from Mari.

_Hikki! You won’t believe the craziness I just heard! That douchebag Kore got the shit beat out of him! Faye said she heard he was mugged or something but whoever it was broke both his legs! Can you believe that? Serves him right the pervert._

Gasping, I responded quickly, annoying my shock before tucking my phone away once again. Both his legs broken? That was madness. My mind trembled back to the god-awful night but I shook my head, physically clearing away the thoughts. I’d never imagined any kind of consequence for Kore’s actions and once I left for Orenda I figured he’d never get any but now things had changed. On this already chaotic day it felt as if the universe was finally leaning towards my side.

Still, my emotions were all over the place with this revelation. It was ridiculous to say but a part of me instantly felt bad reading the news. I’d never forgive him for what he did but getting the seriously hurt? I didn’t know if he deserved it. I mean there was no way I was the only girl he’d hurt so at least this put him out of commission but was it right? He was a monster but did he deserve this? Well, there was nothing I could do about it and it was probably better just to cast it out f my mind. Pondering over his predicament and even just thinking of I’m always made me sick.

Catching my reflection in a store window, I hiked up my ivory thigh-high socks and then the umber brown, over the knee boots I’d borrowed from Kairi. She was right about keeping it casual for this date. Vanitas and I had decided we just wanted to hang out, nothing too crazy, just spend time with each other so this outfit Kairi had helped me conjure up was a great idea.

As always, I was excited to see him. After Halloween night I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t eager to see where things went. At least, that’s how I felt before all that chaos with my clones. God, another memory I didn’t want on my mind when Vanitas was near. My mood was already sullen from my session with Namine, I couldn’t bring it down any further.

Her attachment to Roxas couldn’t have been healthy and I was sick of taking the brunt of her anger over their breakup. One, which yet again, she caused. She couldn’t even give me a straight answer, rather she chose to be aloof as per usual which only pissed me off more.

I gripped onto the pink gem of my necklace, mentally hiding my quickening heartbeat and took a deep breath. I wouldn’t be angry, I wouldn’t be angry.

“There’s my doll.”

I cocked a brow but had no time to react when I was ambushed by a the familiar scent of amber and spice and the sight of tufts of raven black hair in my peripheral vision.

“Vanitas,” I blushed and placed my hands on his forearms covered in his signature leather jacket. “What’s with you?”

He caressed me as his lips brushed up my neck and nibbled the lobe of my ear; instantly igniting sparks throughout my body.

“Nothing,” he whispered. “I just missed my little light, is that not allowed?”

I’d never been more happy to have him behind me as I ducked my face in my hands. I could scream I was so giddy in his arms. How did he always know all the right things to say? He made me feel so girlish and silly but seen and adored all at once. He had to know that with how he was always teasing.

I slipped out of his arms to face him but he held my hands in his. As usual, he was in another variation of his bad boy attire; ripped jeans, leather, laced up boots, a black acid wash tee, and a plaid shirt tied at his hips. We must have been a sight to see, myself prioritizing cuteness while he looked like the pinnacle of an anarchist. But I loved it on him, I never wanted to see him be anything else but this smirking trickster who always made me smile.

My legs seemed to move on their own as soon enough, I found myself being held by him in his arms, firmly snuggling into his chest.

“I missed you too,” I whispered back. “I missed you so much.”

“I know babydoll,” he replied with a pet of my head. “I’ve been so busy with work it just makes it so hard to see you. But we’re together now.”

Could my face get any redder? What was with all this affection? I wouldn’t complain though, after the bullshit I’d suffered through with a certain blonde I was just happy to not feel like a burden to somebody.

“So,” taking a step back I took his hand in mine. “What’s the plan?”

“There’s an end of season farmer’s market still running. I was thinking we could get some groceries and I cook you dinner.”

My eyes rounded, “you can cook?”

“I can try.”

Sniggering, I nodded excitedly. I’d be lying if I ever expected a guy like Vanitas to offer to make me dinner, especially since if I remembered correctly, he never had food at his place. But the least I could do was give him the benefit of the doubt.

—-

The farmer’s market had been a blast. Vanitas kept a close hold of me as we skimmed past dozens of stalls of fruits and veggies before entering a small building to see what meats were being offered. We playfully argued the entire time over what to eat. Eventually we settled on a classic steak dinner with some roasted potatoes. It took some whining but I’d managed to convince him to let me make him a recipe I knew like the back of my hand as I used to make it back home. It took a lot of seasoning and was a little spicy but with this creamy sauce I always paired it with it was perfect.Once we gave the okay I’d asked if he had a few of the ingredients I’d need back home when the nineteen year old boy sheepishly admitted his cupboards were still empty. After chastising him for being so irresponsible we got to work traversing the market for an assortment of fresh foods. Finally, with our baskets full and Vanitas’ pockets empty, we rushed home to get to work.

As soon as we got in, Vanitas tried to distract me with kisses but I forced him right into the kitchen and jumped into action. I knew he’d be able to handle the meat no problem but between roasting the veggies and seasoning the potatoes I had to watch over him like a small child. I teased, poked, and prodded as he struggled to cut the potatoes into little balls and cried about how long he had to stir the sauces for. Although he whined, I’d catch that twinkle in his eye and small smile that told me he was loving this. I, however, was grinning from ear-to-ear. This whole thing was a massive mood booster. Not only was it romantic but it was fun to be doing something like this together.

Occasionally I’d worry about us and if maybe this relationship was only about our mutual attraction. But then I’d see him or he’d call me and like now, we could just talk for hours, getting so lost in conversation that the rest of the world was a blur; and that made me happy, so happy.

“Medium, right?”

I blinked, “huh?”

“Your steak?” Vanitas cocked a brow from his stovetop, eyes on me. “Medium-well right?”

“O-oh,” I giggled shyly. “Yeah.”

“What’s going on light? You spaced out on me there.”

“Sorry,” I blushed and turned back to the cutting board I’d just been chopping carrots on. “I was just thinking.”

“What about?”

“Us,” my voice was small but my smile bright. “Just how happy I am about us.”

Vanitas grinned, a casual soft smile I rarely ever saw. This was amazing, we were amazing. Just him and I together making memories and falling deeper and deeper into one another. Apart of me felt foolish, believing we were going too fast or I was jumping the gun but whenever he looked at me with those golden eyes all my worries drifted away.

“So, how’s base been?”

“Hectic,” I answered and turned back to the veggies. “But I’ll manage.”

“Everything good after that shit with the clones?”

Nodding slowly, I remembered one of our calls where I’d filled him in. He’d only scolded me for not telling him sooner but it wasn’t like there was anything he could do. Besides, I had it all under control.

“My dreams are still a jumbled mess though. I got so desperate to figure it out I went to see Namine.”

“Namine?” Vanitas stiffened suddenly, his eyes widened then quickly narrowed as he found his composure. My brow rose but he spoke before I could question him. “That’s that girl you had problems with, right?”

Oh, was that the reason for his odd reaction? I couldn’t blame him, I hadn’t exactly described her in the most positive light in our texts.

“Yeah, Kairi thought she may be able to help me figure this all out,” I huffed. “But it just turned into another session of fighting over Roxas.”

“You were fighting over him?”

“Well not exactly. I mean she brought him up and how we shouldn’t be friends and I just lost it because who the hell is she to say such a thing!” My chops came down harder on the board as her words filled my ears once again. “I mean really, who does she think she is? She treats him like a child all the while casting him off. You don’t get to pick and choose his relationships!”

Suddenly, warms hands slid around my torso and Vanitas laid his head on my shoulder. “She really pushed your buttons, huh?”

Sighing, I had to admit it. “It’s just… He was my first friend here. I’m not gonna give that up because _she’s_ not over the guy _she_ dumped.”

“Hm,” he lips tickled behind my ear. “All this for my little brother. Lucky guy.”

Crap, I hadn’t intended to get all heated over someone else on our date. “S-sorry, I probably shouldn’t talk about other guys like that. Especially since we’re… you know.”

He peered over with a kiss of my cheek, “we’re what, angel?”

Oh God, not the pet names! This was my chance to give us a label and I’d already chickened out. I shook my head and quickly decided to change the subject. “Mari told me the craziest thing.”

“Hm?”

“Remember that guy I told you about? The one when I first summoned Halcyon.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Well, Mar said he got attacked.”

Vanitas scoffed, “that so?”

“Yeah, I was shocked when she told me.”

“How come?”

“Well, honestly I don’t know how to feel about it. Like I know I shouldn’t be happy but after what he did am I a bad person for thinking he deserved it?”

“Absolutely not.”

Shrugging, I pushed the rest of the chopped carrots into a nearby bowl. “I know there was no way I was the only girl he ever tried it on. So at least this’ll hopefully put an end to his reign of terror. I won’t be mad somebody broke his kneecap.”

“Kneecaps.”

“Huh?”

Whisking my head back to the ravenette I saw a smirk creep to his lips. My brows creased, concern and confusion all over my face but that mischievous grin on his set gears into motion. That’s when it all dawned on me: “did you… Was it you?”

He only shrugged his shoulders, “little ol’ me? How could I?”

“Vanitas…” I warned. He set down his utensils and grasped my waist instead. I was flush against his chest, reddened by embarrassment and annoyance but he only grinned.

“It’s like you said, it’s what he deserves.”

“Maybe so but that doesn’t mean it’s your job to punish him!”

“Then who’s is it, Hikari?” He sighed. “That fucker hurt you, you really thought I was going to let that slide? He got off easy. Could have been so much worse.”

My frown deepened, “what if he hurt you? Or god forbid you got arrested! Vani—“

“Never would have happened.”

“That maybe so but I still don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it, but just know when it comes to you if someone even looks in your direction wrong I’ll end them.” He tilted my chin up and those golden eyes made me quiver in his arms. As frustrated as I was, I took a deep breath and chose to drop it. In his own twisted way he was trying to help me. Hell, was it wrong to feel a little happy about his possessive nature? Probably. But his sincerity wasn’t something I could deny. After all, if anyone had hurt him, who’s to say I wouldn’t have reacted the same way. I let out another sigh but smiled, I still didn’t like his methods but I did really like him.

—

After an eventful dinner of chatting and teasing, Vanitas and I made our way to his living room to talk after clearing up the dishes. We’d somehow gotten on the topic of my childhood and how his was spent mostly training. I worried that the conversation may bring down our positive energies but he was seemingly in a good mood the entire time.

Vanitas took a long drag of the joint between his lips. His eyes stayed on me causing me to blush and sip away at my water. I don’t know why he still made me so nervous. I should have been used to his antics by now.

“Are you ever sober?” I frowned behind my glass.

“Never,” he smirked but my frown only deepened. “Oh come on, sobriety’s overrated. I don’t know how you can stand it.”

“I like to remember things,” my lips pursed. “And be in control of my actions.”

“That’s your problem,” he pulled the glass from my mouth and set it on the table. “You’re too cautious.”

My eyes rolled, “you can’t be too cautious.”

“Yes you can,” Vanitas replied. “And you are. That’s why you couldn’t summon your keyblade, you were too worried about the consequences. Stop thinking, just do Hikari.”

My brows furrowed as I contemplated what he’d said. He could have been right but there wasn’t anything wrong with planning, you shouldn’t just jump into action all the time. You had to consider all the possibilities. But then again, I’d heard the same thing several times, even during my training. I thought I was loosening up but it must have been incredibly superficial.

“Look at all the great things you’ve got from going with the flow,” he continued. “Mainly me. I’m the great thing. If you’d been all _safety-first-Hikki_ you’d probably be forty before you had your first kiss.”

I shoved the raven-haired boy, muttering “jerk” under my breath as he snickered. He may have been right but I would never tell him that. The last thing he needed was an ego boost.

“It’s not my fault boys are gross,” my fingers combed through my hair. I tried to hide my agnation but it was a failed attempt. “I never even went to dances back home because I always heard about them trying stuff.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, they’d touch all—“

“Not that,” his eyes narrowed on me. “You’ve never been to a school dance?”

I shook my head, “never.”

“Aren’t dances like every girl’s dream? Spiked punch, fancy dresses, slow dancing with their first crushes?”

I shrugged, “I never really thought about it.”

It was true, I hadn’t. The idea of being so close to a guy made me nauseous as a kid and by the time I’d grown out of those awkward pre-teen years I wasn’t confident enough to start talking to boys. I was much more comfortable being alone or with Mari and Lucas.

Vanitas lifted his phone, tapped a few buttons and I heard the volume of the music in the background increase. It was a dark tune I didn’t recognize with a heavy guitar and a deep male voice. I watched him set down his joint before rising and holding a hand out towards me.

“Get up.”

Bewildered, I stared up at him, “what?”

“Get up,” I couldn’t protest when he took a hold of my hand. “I’m giving you the chance to dance with your first crush.”

A little laugh left my lips as I rose and he took to the center of his living room. Vanitas played like this big, scary jerk but then he’d always find a way to melt my walls. First Kore, now this? He made falling for him too easy.

Vanitas hooked my arm behind his neck, placed one of his on my lower back and held my other hand in his to our side. He led the way, taking a small step to the left then another to the right and before I knew it, we were gracefully swaying to this admittedly depressing track. Although in his arms, I was blissful.

“ _I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you_ ,” he hummed above me. “ _And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you_.” Like the singer, his voice was husk, smokey even but I melted as each note left his lips. “ _No, I don’t wanna fall in love… With you._ ”

His was so soothing, I could feel any anxieties drift away in our dance. We swayed so gently, completely enthralled by one another and it was only another moment when his lips rediscovered mine. Our kisses were slowly but passionate, tongues twisting and arms grasping about one another. It was only a matter of time before he led me into his room.

“I’ve been waiting to get you like this,” he whispered as we climbed into his sheets.

“Pervert,” I smirked.

He chuckled, “say what you want. I’ve been dying to play with my doll since the last time.”

“Vanitas…” My cheeks burned, only worsening when he slipped out of his top, revealing his built torso.

“Let’s play little light,” his pelvis pressed into mine and a groan escaped my lips at the feel of his hardened member. I moaned as he suckled my throat and slid his hand up my thigh. It was a lie to pretend I wasn’t excited to feel him again but I found myself shy at the opportunity.

“O-okay,” my voice was soft but my body was delighted at the prospect. Vanitas knew me so well and captured my lips in a lustful kiss before tickling my jaw.

“Such a dirty girl,” he cooed in my ear. “Pretending to be good with a body like that… You’re such a bad girl.”

I froze in his arms. A dirty girl, a bad girl; was it true? Their voices echoed in my ears, my heart raced as my own voice repeated the same words back to me.

“Hikari?” His eyes came to view. “What’s wrong?”

“D-do you really think that?” My hand fell over my gaping mouth. “That I’m a whore?”

Vanitas stared back at me in confusion, “what? No! Hikari, I didn’t say that.”

“But it’s what you’re thinking, right?” The tears welled in my eyes. I was being foolish, I knew I was being foolish but the clones, Namine; maybe they were right.

“Are you crazy? Of course not,” he fell to the side of the bed and pulled me into his arms. “Why would you say that?”

“T-the duplicates…” I shut my eyes. I promised myself I wouldn’t let it bother me, I wouldn’t let it get in the way of a perfect night but here I was falling to pieces. “I’m so sorry Vanitas. I-I… I just—‘

“Spend the night,” another rare smile but filled with concern and kindness this time. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’ll take you home tomorrow.”

“But Vanitas, don’t you want—“

“I want you to never think anything as absurd as that again,” he stroked my head. “And if I’ve gotta spend the whole night reassuring you of that then so be it.”

“Vanitas…”

I tilted my head to his lips and fell into his kiss.

God, why was he so perfect? It was like he had a script of all the wonderful things he could say to melt my heart. And to think, all this had started because he’d found me in a forest. Vanitas knew just when and how to push my buttons and was always quick to soothe them afterwards. Our relationship had developed so quickly but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling all of these emotions. And when he touched me, any and everywhere: I felt alive. So like this, I couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, I was falling for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello reader(s)! 
> 
> I owe you all a sincere apology. I'm so sorry for the long unexpected break! I was going through some mental health stuff and work stuff and art stuff, just a lot of stuff. I've got it sorted now (well, better than before) so we should be back to our regular schedule.
> 
> The entire story is plotted so I'm hoping it'll be easier for me to get it all out. I don't love this chapter but I'll try my very best to make everyone just as exciting as it was before my break.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for your continued support and being patient! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	25. Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kairi, Xion, and Hikari have their first mission together in the Caribbean but things go astray when they are confronted by a mysterious stranger, leaving them with even more questions. (UNEDITED - EDIT UPLOADED TOMORROW)

I was so excited boarding the gummiship. Too excited probably.

I hated being off the field and with our holiday break, probably the last one we’d get in a while, I was ecstatic to have one more mission. The gang had been lucky to get the time off, probably a favour thanks to their ties to the masters and the work they’d done. Regular, we’d have to be prepared for whatever mission could come through, on call really but not this year which I was eternally grateful for.

My plan for the break was to spend all my time with my family and possibly see if I could get Vanitas to come down. It may have been too soon but I really wanted him to have a calmer introduction to Mari and get approval from Lucas. It wasn’t like I needed it but I wanted it.

But those were problems for later, right nw I had to get my head in the game. I had a mission to complete and it was made even better when Aqua had placed me in a group with Kairi and Xion.

“You’re so giddy,” Kairi giggled.

“I’ve got all this pent up energy,” I answered. “I’ve been stuck on base since my _‘Revenge of the Clones’_ episode.”

Our laughter filled the small ship. Xion was the only one who knew had to fly one of these things so she was on command as Kairi and I settled back.

“Was Namine able to help you out with that?” Xion asked. I shrugged in response. I hadn’t really told them much about my talk with the blonde and didn’t think it was okay to. I didn’t want to create anymore unnecessary tension between us.

“Not really,” I sighed.

“What happened?”

“Just more Roxas bullshit.”

Kairi chuckled, leaning into me, “two girls both in committed relationships still fighting over this guy?”

Xion laughed along with her but I only frowned, “we weren’t fighting over him. Well, not exactly.”

“So then?”

“She doesn’t trust me with him, I have no idea why.”

“Hm,” the redhead pondered. “It’s probably just cause you’re new. They were together so long… She might just be struggling to get comfortable with the idea of him moving on.”

“Well she needs to leave me out of it,” I muttered.

She had all this time to get over herself and was still clinging onto whatever relevance she thought she had. I wanted no part in her issues but to hold her ex-boyfriend captive because she was insecure was asinine. I’d tried to be understanding butI was sick of it. It was getting in the way of my current relationship and even though Vanitas was secretive, it had to hurt to think my feelings were sprawled between him and his brother. I needed to do all I could to show him that I was more than ready to commit to this thing between us.

Luckily, I had a few ideas.

—

“You guys have never been here right?”

“Nope.”

“Not even once.”

“It’s a pretty difficult world to maneuver but as long as we keep our heads down we should be able to get in and out no problem.”

It was too late for that as when Xion turned back to us we were twisting and turning, examination every small detail of our outfits.

She groaned just as I noticed the natives around the harbour staring at us. I nudged Kairi who looked to the goggles of eyes on us, particularly from men much bigger and probably stronger than us.

“We could totally take them.”

Xion glared at her but I chuckled, “‘cause we’ve got pirate clothes now?”

“Uh, no,” proudly, she rested her hands on her hips. “‘Cause we’re badass pirate-ladies! …And the outfits, the outfits definitely help.”

She definitely wasn’t lying about that. We definitely fit in all in our various outfits. Kairi had her hair pulled back in a half up, half down style looped together by a patterned red head scarf covered in small yellow stars. With her shoulders bare in a billowing white blouse strapped back by a short corset just over her stomach she had plenty of room to breath. Her pants were a thick deep red cotton tucked into her just over the knee dark purple boots. Xion’s look was a deep v-neck, white long sleeve held together by elbow-length dark brown gloves with a matching laced up corset against her torso. In her leather black pants, thigh-high brown boots, and the belts strewn across her waist she was definitely ready to kick ass. I, myself had been dropped in wearing a pair of knee-length black boots, tight cotton brown striped pants that matched along with the tight laced corset with thin straps over my shoulders that rested just under my bust. My arms were covered in opera length fingerless gloves, belts and buckles looping me in tight and a long white fabric tied to the side of my waist, mimicking some kind of skirt to match the sleeves white top over my breasts. My hands slid to my throat to find my signature black choker and necklace where they usually were and smiled back at the two.

“You gotta admit Xion, this is awesome!”

“We gotta get a picture!” Kairi beamed and I nodded eagerly.

Xion chuckled, “later. First, let’s figure out just what’s got this world all messed up.”

With a quizzical look, I scanned the area we stood, a busy port dense with people, rugged tall buildings, palm trees, bins, barrels, and shacks galore. Everywhere I looked there seem to be some bustling activity going on, whether it was those being entertained by street dancers, hawking goods, or boarding and preparing ships.

“Let’s start there!”

Kairi pointed to a wide, wooden door, housing what a appeared to be a crowded tarven. “Good idea,” I mumbled. Where else would the locals be if not a bar? It was a great place to start our investigation. We headed over to the rundown hotspot and were greeted by booming voices as we entered. The tartan was much larger inside than it appeared, although definitely filled to the brim with people. From sailors crowding wooden tables to busy barmaids running up and down the aisles rushing to serve each patron; we’d definitely pick up on some information here.

“Seat yourselves ladies!” A blond woman whiskered past us, a pint and glass mugs in her hands. “I’ll be with you in a second!”

Kairi and I turned to Xion who shrugged and gestured toward a circular table off to the side, away from the commotion at the entrance.We took our seats and waited patiently for our waitress to return all the while listening in to the gossip of the two tables we sat between.

“The whole cove’s been locked down,” a burly man with a scruffy beard chattered from his seat. “The bloody kingsguard’s made it impossible to get any kind of harvesting done.”

“You hear a reason as to why?” Another man asked.

“Do I look like a gossiping lass, Timmons? ‘Course I didn’t hear why!”

Xion smirked towards Kairi and I, “you hear that?”

I nodded, “sounds like that cove’s where the action’s at.”

“Definitely,” Kairi agreed. “But there’s no way we could infiltrate it now. Guards, remember?”

“And we’ve gotta find it first,” I added.

As we pondered over this new revelation the blonde barmaid reappeared with a jug of water and three mugs. She set down our drinks and grinned, “new faces ay? Well, welcome ladies. What can I do you for?”

“The water’s fine for now,” Xion answered quickly. “But how about a round for our friends over there?”

I cocked a brow in confusion until I saw her gesture towards the group of men we’d been eavesdropping on. Perfect idea, what better way to get more info than through a little bit of coercion.

“Ain’t that sweet if ya,” the blonde replied. “So whatcha thinkin’?”

“I don’t know,” Kairi turned to the group of men. The still hadn’t noticed us but the moment she tapped on the gentleman with the messy beard’s shoulder, all of their eyes fixated on us.

“Sounds like you boys are having a bit of a rough time,” she smiled innocently. “My friends and I couldn’t help but over here. Say, wanna share a pint and a bit of gossip?”

All five men who had to be ranging in ages twenty-five to thirty looked at us hungrily. Another time I would have been frightened but now I knew better and was more than capable of protecting myself.

“Oi, Cheryl!” The noisy man grinned, a wild twinkle in his eye, probably assuming he was about to get lucky. “Bring us a round of Guiness and some fruits for the pretty girls.”

—

“I think we’re almost there.”

The girls and I made our way down a rocky path, hidden away from the bustling town through the jungle. After many rounds supplied by us, we’d gotten the men at the tarven drunk enough to spill all the secrets. After learning about who was cheating on who, who’d stolen what, and just how corrupt some of the local politicians were; we’d gotten the farmers to reveal a rugged but secret path to the grotto the soldiers had been blowing off. It was simple getting past them but the train was a lot harder to climb through than the the rest of the town.

“I hope so,” I replied to Kairi, cutting another foreign branch down with my keyblade. “I can barely see a thing.”

Kairi led the charge as Xion and I focused on clearing a path to make our trip back just a little easier. The greenery was immense and all though the fresh smell of nature was a warm welcome from the smokey bar, the overwhelming amount of flora definitely made the passage way a hassle.

“Just upheld,” Kairi responded. I glanced forward, past Xion’s shoulder to slivers of light. As we reached the clearing I could hear the soft rustles of water and could practically taste the salty sea. This must have been the grotto. Kairi summoned her own keyblade as she pushed past the remaining vines and emerged into the tranquil grotto.

It was a beautiful sights with large rocks surrounding the cave as a waterfall tumbled intopool of water which diverted down into a thin stream further into the cave. Exotic surrounded the sight with wild fruit perched atop vines and trees as bustling bushes were shredded in ripe berries. It made sense why the farmers were upset, this was a great place to stock up on food and according to them there were even more spots further into the cave that they’d now been blocked from.

The flash of Kairi’s camera brought my attention to her as she pulled her phone back to review the photo she’d taken.

“This place is beautiful,” she cooed. “I wish we were here under better circumstances.”

I smiled, ready to respond when a settle thud veered my eyes over to the waterfall.

“Speaking of which,” I took to my keyblade, alerting the others to do the same when just from the cracks of the rocks a thick, black smog seeped through.

“What is that?” Xion frowned. A sharp pain stung my nostrils and soon enough I could feel my eyes burn. The smell was pungent, raw and rotten and stronger than I thought as I pulled the crook of my arm over my nose.

“We gotta get rid of this smoke!” Kairi announced but before we could set a plan into motion shadows emerged from the fog. Heartless, small and on all fours with thick trunks for legs and rounded heads and needy eyes filed out of the clouds. Their mouths were wide and their foreheads showcased their emblem over their dark blue and purple skin. I could see thick bushy tails swing from their back as they prepared themselves to launch at us.

We needed a plan and we needed one fast. “What do we do?” I found myself muttering as we backed into each other, weapons at the ready. My first thought was to jump to clones but I was still unsure despite my training. God forbid those turn on us, we didn’t need another threat on top of this chaos. I looked about; the light of the grotto wasn’t even enough to make a clone forget an army.

Xion coughed, “we gotta clear the smog.”

“But we can’t lead them back to town!” Kairi replied.

“We won’t,” Xion struck her keyblade forward and launched a fiery strike towards the rocky wall. We could hear it sear but through my blurred vision it appeared the heat had melded the crack.

“Kairi,” she called. “Hit the rocks with the hottest flames you’ve got. The source has to be coming from behind the falls. We’ll deal with it once we clear these heartless.”

“Got it!”

“Hikari, you think you could get enough light to make her a shield?”

“Definitely!”

“Then let’s do this!”

Xion sprang into action, launching a gravity spell at one of the heartless and knock it into a few others. Kairi and I didn’t have much time. She had their attention for now but it wouldn’t be long before the rest remembered where we stood. I held my hand towards the glimmers of light I could see and pulled them towards Kairi. It wasn’t a lot of power but the energy ran through my body to a build a strong enough barrier to keep her safe.

“You’re good to go!”

She nodded once and leaped past the heartless to make her way to the wall. Before they could turn to touch her an ice spell cut through her path and bring their eyes on me.

My keyblade spun in my wrist as my legs dashed towards the crowd. The may not have been big but their heartless were fast and they hit heavy. I slashed forward, knock out whatever I could all the while trying to keep my magic focused on Kairi. I couldn’t waste it with long range attacks, my own fighting skills, agility and speed was what I had to use to combat these monsters.

The heartless were ruthless in their attacks, leaping at once to try and knock me off my balance and forcing me to kneel and block. With a swift kick of my leg I managed to breakthrough the crowd and knock a few down with a flip and a few quick slashes. Through the chaos I had to keep my eye on Kairi, I couldn’t let that guard down.

“Hikari, jump!”

Xion’s words left her lips just as quickly as I leapt off the ground. A flash of warm air struck by my legs and with a tilt of my head I saw Xion torching down the heartless with a powerful flame smell. I fell back to my feet and dashed from the heat to her side.

“Thanks!”

She nodded, breathing heavily. Surely that spell had taken a lot out of her. Luckily, we were down to a third of the heartless to clear out.I reclaimed my battle stance and struck ahead at the few that remained. It was getting easier to beat them down as Kairi cleared the fog. If I could just wipe out these few that surrounded Xion and I, I could give her a few moments to catch her breath.

“Almost there!” I heard Kairi yell.

“Say when!” I yelled back, deflecting another leaping monster. “Then cover your eyes, both of you!”

“You got it!”

“I’m gonna handle—“

“I got it,” I reassured Xion. “Just stay behind me, I’ll keep these guys off.”

Her eyes glanced at my own but my smile must have assured her as she continued to guard against the heartless. They were surrounding us once again, excellent. The further they stayed away from Kairi the better chance I had to get this spell to work.

“Done! It’s all you Hikki!”

Immediately, I stabbed my keyblade into the muddied earth and pulled back the waves of light, turning them into energy as they streamed through my veins. I placed my hands on my blade, my heart racing with each second as both myself and it began to glow.

“Get down!”

The power blasted through me in a spectacular show of light. I couldn’t see a thing but I could hear the whines of the heartless as the dissipated from the blinding energy. My arms tremored as energy burst through my veins, leaving me feeling numb. My breath was heavy but as quickly as it came the flash of light retracted and I dropped to my knees.

“Hikari!”

“Hikki,” Xion placed a hand on my back just as I heard Kairi approach. “You okay?”

My mouth was dry and my vision hazy but I smiled, “yeah. I think I just over did it.”

The girls helped me to my feet and I was surprised to see the waterfall cleared, replaced by more stone but now with a keyhole in its place.

“I wonder how it got here,” Xion muttered, stepping forward, ready to seal it. Kairi pulled out her phone and quickly snapped a photo, surely to show to the masters back on base.

“Let’s just close it and get out of here,” she shivered. “This place gives me the creeps.”

I had to agree, “yeah, it is pretty unsettling without the waterfall.”

With a flick of her wrist, a beaming light radiated from her keyblade and straight to the dark hole. In a moment it vanished and we all let out a sigh of relief.

“Nice work wielders.”

We snapped our heads to the deep voice, shocked to see a figure in a long black cloak, hood covering their face. I’d seen these before, in Yen Sid’s classs, those cloaks belonged to the Organization. But we’d all been under the impression they’d completely dismembered, this couldn’t be one of Xehonort’s clones, could it. He’d been gone for years, my friends had stopped him. Who the hell was this?

Xion asked that exact question, keyblade at the ready, reminding Kairi and myself to get back in position.

“Just a curious on-looker!” The voice was deep but oddly jovial, definitely a man and probably crazed. “Gotta say, I’m pretty impressed girls. You make a great team.”

“I said,” Xion stepped forward, her glare darkening. “Who are you and just what the hell do you want?”

“I had to get a look at the competition,” he chuckled. “And if you all fight like this you might just stand a chance.”

“What are you blabbering about?” Kairi questioned. “We don’t have time for any stupid riddles.”

He held his gloved hands up, almost apologetically. “You’re right, you’re right. I’m sure you girls’ve got plenty left to do back on base. Where you stationed at?”

“Like we’d tell you,” she scoffed.

“Aw, come on Kairi, humour me!”

My body froze, eyes widened and stunned. We gawked at the mysterious figure in shock and even behind that coat I could feel him sneering. It was one thing for him to know we were wielders but it was a whole other to know our names.

Xion was first to snap out of her shock and growled, “just who the hell are you!?”

“Whoa, hey there Xion! No need to blow a gasket.”

Another name? I could feel my heart tremor just as that hood tilted in my direction. He took a step forward but my friends were quick to cover me. I took a deep breath an tightened my grip on my keyblade. Whether he knew my name or not wouldn’t make a difference, together we could defeat him.

“Now, now, there she is! Quiet as always aren’t you little light?” I grimaced but he only sniggered. “How kind of your friends to look after you, wouldn’t you say? But you and I both know you’re a lot stronger than you appear, don’t we Hikari?”

“Shut up! You’re just trying to distract us. So what if you know our names. It doesn’t mean a damn thing.”

“You think I only know your names? How cute.”

My brows furrowed just as my thoughts raced. He was bluffing, he had to be. He was trying to psych us out but I wouldn’t let him. We were stronger than this, Vanitas had trained me to be stronger than this.

“Well looks like I got you girlies all riled up,” he said, flippantly. A dark smog appeared behind him, one I’d definitely seen before. It’s deep blues and purples, along with the smokey black whipped around him as he took a step back. “Guess I better take my leave before I make you any more mad, huh? Stay safe ladies, these are dangerous times. There’s a war coming after all.”

“Coward!” I cried, stepping forward but Xion held her arm back, blocking my path.

“Aw, don’t be like that little light. Come on, you and me’ll be great friends. We just gotta bring the awakening.”

My body stilled, keyblade vanishing from my hands just as the stranger disappeared into the fog. My breath was shallow and my eyes wide. His words encased me, freezing me in time and send shivers down my spine. How had he known? My dreams, the clones… What the hell was going on!?

“Hikari.”

A gentle shook brought me back to reality as Kairi and Xion’s kind face greeted me once more.

“Take a deep breath,” Xion advised and I followed. I didn’t feel better but it at least slowed my rapidly beating heartbeat.

“Who—“

“I don’t know,” Kairi sighed. “But let’s just get back to base and inform the masters. This can’t be good.”

—

The ride back was quiet as the girls and I spent the time pondering on our own over the strange encounter. After Kairi had sent our report we received a message from Aqua telling us all to meet her back at her office once we returned. It felt like ages before we reached Orenda but as soon as we entered the base were were ambushed by Master Terra and Aqua upon entering. Together, we travelled to Yen Sid’s classroom to find the old wizard scanning through one of his dozens of book. For an hour or so we broke down every detail of all that had happened on our mission and everything we’d been told by the stranger.

But in the end it all did no good, at least how I saw it. If the masters knew anything or had any ideas they definitely weren’t telling us and I hated being left in the dark. Especially, after they’d spent so much time grilling me. I found myself frustrated, probably more so than anybody else. All these strange encounters, events, and dreams; all laying out some destiny or plan I wanted no part of. It was already life-altering for me to become a wielder but now another round of chaos was on its way?

I’d groaned as Kairi, Xion, and I headed back to our dorm but they did what they could to reassure me everything would be alright. I smiled but I didn’t believe them. It wasn’t myself I was worried about, I was upset because I felt like I was letting them down. Hell, I felt like I was letting the entire base down. We were all training and preparing for this great big mess of a fight on its way and all I had to do was try and get my shit together and control my dreams but I couldn’t even do that. It was aggravating and once again left me feeling more like a burden than a viable player in all this.

Still, normality came with a calmness as we ate dinner and the girls distracted me from the noise in my head. I needed space from all this and listening to them discuss classes and their boyfriends was a welcome break.

“I’m just glad she’s willing to teach me!”

I was back from my mission and chilling back in my room after dinner. Just as I was typing her name Mari called and we’d been talking for the past twenty minutes since. Well, more so her. I’d told her a bit of my mission but it was clear she had news for me and I was happy to hear she’d be working under a seamstress back home.

Mari’d been looking to learn more about sewing but with me gone all our chores and the help we offered Lucas with the bar fell on her back. I’d felt guilty about it but she assured me a dozen the that she much rather stock the industrial sized freezer in the back of the bar than fight heartless any day.

“It’s gonna be great. We’re starting with lacework right after the holiday!”

“Really? That’s exciting, Mar. I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah, it took lots of convincing cause dad’s worried about me juggling school and the house and the bar but I’ve got this. Might have to cut down on some social shit but I could use a break anyway.”

“Being popular must be the worst,” I smirked.

“Shut up,” she laughed. “You’re one to talk, as if you aren’t juggling between Vanitas and Roxas.”

“I’m not,” my cheeks burned. “Roxas is my best friend—“

“ _Guy_ best friend,” she corrected.

I rolled my eyes with a smile, “ _guy_ best friend and Vanitas is my… Well, I’m not sure.”

“Wait,” I could hear the disbelief in her tone. “You guys aren’t official?”

“Official?”

“Yeah, like dating.”

“Well,” I pondered over her question. We really had never talked about our status in one another’s lives. “It’s never come up.”

“Come up!?” Mari cried. “Hikari are you and this man even exclusive?”

“Exclusive?”

“Are you his girlfriend?”

“I’m not sure, we—“

“Oh my God,” she sighed deeply. “Girl, figure your shit out. This is exactly why you should have come to me first!”

My eyes rolled, “is that even important? I mean we like each other, isn’t that enough?”

“No!” I could hear the shock in her voice and knew I was in for a lecture. “You’re putting 110% into something you have no stakes in because you don’t know the status. Lots of people like each other, doesn’t mean their willing to actually do the work to be together. I mean, you don’t even know how he really sees you. Saying a bunch of sweet nothings while you’re messing around doesn’t mean he actually cares.”

“Then how do I know if he cares?”

“Commitment!” Mari hollered. “Do you even want that?”

“You know I do,” I pouted. It was the only thing I liked about romance novels; a promise to each other.

“Exactly so you need to have that conversation with him, ASAP. You two aren’t even sleeping together yet, for all you know he could be with other girls.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” I chuckled. “He’s not like that.”

Mari scoffed, “if you say so.”

“As for sleeping with each other…” nibbling I on my lower lip I whispered into the phone. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

“For real!?”

“Don’t sound so excited!”

She laughed but my cheeks only flushed further. It had been on my mind, especially since the last time we hung out. I was so drawn to him and the idea of taking that step was so exciting. I knew if I asked him head-on he’d probably decline, tell me I had no idea what I was talking about but if I came to him prepared, showed him that I really had grown up then maybe he could see just how serious I was. Taking this step was the perfect way to solidify our relationship.

“Okay, okay,” Mari held back a squeal. “Wow, itty-bitty Hikki, that’s a big step, girl.”

“I know,” my voice was a whisper. “But I really like him.”

“And regularly, I’d say that was enough. You know I would,” she said. “I mean, I lost my virginity two weeks into dating Dean and I don’t regret it for a minute. But virginity never meant a thing to me, Hikari. But It kinda always did to you.”

I blushed, “well, not really.”

“Hikari…”

“It’s not the virginity part that’s important,” my voice was shaky as I explained. Talking about this was incredibly embarrassing, another reason why I didn’t want to have a chat about it with Vanitas. Was that immature? Probably. But it didn’t change how I felt and how I knew it was what I wanted. 

“I just can’t imagine being like that with somebody I wasn’t really serious about.”

“So you’re saying you’re serious about him then?”

Pondering over the thought I found myself nodding before giving Mari a verbal yes. No matter how much tossing and turning I did or weighing of the pros and cons, I always leant far more towards yes than no. I may not have been 100% all the way there but it was enough for me to know this was something I wanted.

“Well, I still think you should give it more thought,” my best friend chimed. “At least talk to the girls about it, see how it went for them.”

She had a point there. Now that they all knew I had to take advantage of the facts I had girlfriends to advice me in these kinds of matters. Mari had been one perspective but it would be wise to hear what my roommates thought as well. So we said our goodbyes and I left my room with determination and a bit of nervousness.

As I entered the living room I noticed my roommates casual strewn across our couch chatting amongst themselves. Like me, the girls were ready for bed in their PJs and probably just as exhausted. I wasn’t planning on taking much of their time but I did need their advice.

“Hey, can we talk guys?” I muttered, eyes to the ground.

“Sure,” concern was in Kairi’s voice as I heard her shuffle over to make room for me amongst the two. “What’s up?”

I found the courage and smiled shyly between them, “I-I wanted to ask you guys… For some advice.”

“What about?” Xion inquired.

“Vanitas.”

Their silence forced me to meet their eyes and the moment I saw they were grinning from ear to ear I hid in my hands. This was way too embarrassing to talk about and we hadn’t even started!

“Aw, come on!” Xion yanked my wrists back to my lap. “We haven’t even said anything!”

“Besides,” Kairi said. “You’ve been there for all our boy drama, it’s only right that we help you with yours!”

That had been true. I was always eager to listen in on their conversations of love and romance. I found it so fascinating, to be hopeless devoted to just one person, a man nonetheless. I’d tried to advise where I could but mostly encouraged them in their ventures but if I’d known the tables were going to turn like so I probably would have been less supportive.

“So,” Xion released me and leant back on the couch, a mischievous look in her eyes. “What’s Vani-Boy done now?”

“N-nothing,” I answered. “Honestly, he’s been great.”

“So what do you need advice with?” Kairi asked.

“How do you guys know?” My fingers fidgeted with the ends of my locks. “How do you know you love them?”

We were all blushing, meek in the silence at my question. I hadn’t meant to make it uncomfortable but I needed to know.

I hadn’t had many plans for my first time but I always knew that whoever I chose to do it with I wanted to be in love with them. I wanted to be hopelessly, endlessly, disgustingly, engrossed in them with every fibre of my being. It was such a private and special thing and even though Mari and her friends had always said it was far from serious I’d always treated it as it was. I just couldn’t imagine doing it with a man I didn’t love and maybe it was the romance novels but when it came to that level of intimacy that’s what I required. I needed to know that he’d be there for me, take care of me, and need me as much as I’d needed him. Now the only question was was were Vanitas and I at the level?

“It takes a bit of time,” Xion whispered, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “At least for me it did. If you’d asked me a few years ago if I saw myself being with Riku I would’ve laughed in your face. I could barely stand the guy for a while there.”

Xion had told me about that once, how the two never got along and how she’d even thought she may have liked Roxas once. Our stories were same in that regard; I too had struggled to find any kind of positive feelings about Vanitas in the beginning. As for Roxas… Well, that’d all been sorted now. But she’d said it had taken time. Vanitas and I hadn’t been seeing each other all that long. But I worried about holding back from him. He was older and looking the way he did he’d definitely been with dozens if not hundreds of girls. There was no way he’d wait for me to give it up, right?

“I think it was instant,” Kairi captured our attention. “I think I’ve always loved Sora and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. It’s a little cheesy but when you know, you know. Y’know?”

We chuckled but I did find myself agreeing. They’d had plenty of time to develop their feelings but for Kairi to be so sure so young it had to account for something. Even though my relationship with mystery boy was fresh I knew how I felt. I’d spent hours pining over him, trying to settle down the butterflies in my stomach when I thought of him. Wasn’t that love? All these wonderful, warm feelings couldn’t just be an infatuation.

God, I couldn’t overthink this! It was just like how Vanitas had said, if I kept doubting myself I’d never come to a conclusion. Even though I was still teetering between my brain and my heart my mind was made up. Vanitas meant the world to me and I was going to give him mine in the best way I knew how.

—

Upon throwing myself in my bed, I dialled Vanitas’ number. It had been a long day and I needed to be cheered up by the little joker. My talks with the girls had gone well and Kairi and Xion had even offered some advice in what to expect but it didn’t bring down my nerves at all. I’d decided to go with a surprise attack and show up to his place in the evening. Talking about it with him was still totally out of the question so this was definitely the best way to go about it.

My phone chimed and immediately Vanitas’ pretty face was on my screen. I blushed to see him shirtless, hair wet and body damp; he must have just gotten out of the shower.

“What up, light?”

God, his voice was intoxicating: deep and rugged, just like him. Clearing my throat I smiled, “nothing much, got back from my mission a little while ago.”

“Oh yeah?”

I nodded, “the Caribbean, pretty cool place actually.”

He set his phone down, screen pointing up at the ceiling, he must have been changing. “Yeah, I’ve been a couple times. Definitely feels like a whole other world.”

I was about to respond with a quick quip before a saw a black towel fly across the screen. My cheeks burned as I averted my eyes.

“Uh, um, if you’re busy I can just call back.”

“Nah, why would I be busy?”

“Well, I mean you’re changing…”

“So? Not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before.”

That may have been true but it didn’t stop me from pouting. I had to get over all this shyness if I wanted tomorrow’s plan to work. This was important and if I couldn’t even handle seeing him shirtless again how the hell would I manage this?

“Besides,” the phone rose and in a moment I saw Vanitas standing infant of his mirror wearing black sweats just barely clinging onto his hips. Better but still not good enough as now it took everything I had to ignore the butterflies in my stomach while my eyes grazed over his toned torso and the hard lines leading down to his groin.

“So, how was the mission?” I heard him toss himself into his bed and smiled once I saw that lopsided smile again. “Did you kick some ass?”

“You would have been proud,” I grinned. “But we did face bit of a setback.”

“What happened?”

I knew I shouldn’t have told him but it wasn’t like Vanitas was just anybody. He was my partner and he definitely had more intel when it came to this upcoming war than I did. He probably already knew about these strange black cloaks.

“A man in a black cloak ambushed us.”

His eyes widened but I rushed to reassure him, “nobody got hurt. But he was definitely suspicious. He was in an Organization coat so we couldn’t see his face but he somehow knew our names. It was kind of freaky.”

“He knew your names?”

“Yeah, but that isn’t even the strangest thing. He said we’d bring the awakening. That same bullshit my clones were spewing when they were hijacked, remember?”

The concern on his face remained just as his eyes glossed over. He mulled over my words and I felt myself worry and called him back to me. I was okay, there was no need to be anxious.

“Did you tell your masters?”

“Yes but we still don’t have any clues. The only awakening we’ve been able to find reference to is the one that made a bunch of new wielders. We’re completely lost.”

The ravenette let out a sigh, “well are you all right? He didn’t touch you did he? Hurt you?”

I shook my head, “Xion and Kairi kinda had to hold me back cause I was ready to hurt him.”

That made him chuckle, “my little warrior. Well, as long as you’re safe. I’ll try and do a bit more research at work tomorrow, see what I can figure out.”

“You don’t have to do all that,” it was far to kind of him to even suggest it. I didn’t want to be a burden on him, I’d figure this all out in no time.

“No, I want to ‘Kari,” Vanitas replied. “Besides, I could use a distraction.”

My brows furrowed, “are you okay?”

I watched him shrug, “yeah, I just… I’ve been thinking about my master a lot lately.”

He’d tried to hide it with that dull tone but it was clear he was hurting. Vanitas didn’t talk about his past often, especially not about the wielder the had trained him. I didn’t even know his name but I knew pushing him for an answer would never get us anywhere. Still, it was clear he was hurting and seeing that hurt made me want to do whatever I could to change that.

“What have you been thinking about, Vani?” I slid into my sheets, eyes still focused on his. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He surprised me with his answer: “sometimes… Sometimes I just wish I could bring him back?”

My heart ached for at those words. I’d never had anybody close to me pass but I’d seen others mourn. I couldn’t imagine the pain and I knew no matter how much time had passed the hurt never went away. I wished there was something I could do, some kind of comfort I could provide. I mean from what I knew Vanitas’ master hadn’t necessarily passed, at least not in the conventional sense. I didn’t have many details but I knew that much. Maybe there was something I could do, a spell I could look up…

“Can’t you?” I pondered aloud. Vanitas cocked his brow and immediately I shied away. “I-I just mean that with the surge of wielders again… Anything is possible, right?”

“I guess,” he muttered. “I have thought about it, looked into it but even if I could do it, that amount of power…”

“I’ll help you!” I grinned, earning a sympathetic smile after a stunned stare. “I know I’m not much but I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel better. So if bringing him back is what you need I’m all in.”

“Hikari…”

I shook my head, I didn’t even want to hear him protest. “You’re so special to me Vanitas and I… I really like you so… Whatever’s important to you is important to me.”

He blinked, a stunned expression on his face but soon his eyebrows lowered and the corner of his lips curled. There it was, that magical, rare smile only I ever got to see. I could feel my skin tingle and my heart seemingly burst within looking at the boy who made my heart swell.

“I wish you were here.”

I blushed and turned in my sheets, bringing my phone to my side. “Me too.”

“Right now,” he whispered. “Right now I want you so bad I could die.”

Giggling, I replied, “you’re so dramatic.”

Vanitas smiled softly, “really though. I don’t know how to thank you Hikki. You really are the light of my life.”

With reddened cheeks and butterflies in my stomach I said, “I-I think… I think you’re mine.”


	26. Pure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hikari's nightmares grow more confusing as the days go by but she distracts herself with a more pressing issue. With her heart on the line she decides to put her whole being into her relationship with Vanitas and only prays he feels the same.

There was a ringing, a constant, loud buzzing in my ears. Not only that but my throat ached. I lifted my hands to scratch at my throat only to realize that yet again, I was pinned down. What was going on? Where was I? I pulled and pulled but the metal of my restraints only dug deeper into my flesh.

My vision was blurry as I peered through narrowed eyelids. The room was dark but this time I could see glass above me. Was I encased in something? I couldn’t pay much attention to it as a red light flashed throughout the room and gave me a small glance of wired machines with dozens of colourful buttons.

Straight ahead was a sliding door, burst open with a lump on the ground. I tried to focus in when I heard a gush of air come from the glass. My eyes widened to see it scroll past me and tuck away in the enclosure. Next, the silver restraints on my arms and legs clicked open but before I could check for bruises I heard the voice of a woman.

“Oh sweet girl, come on, everything will be alright.”

A slender figure with long chestnut brown hair braided on her back came to view. I couldn’t pinpoint her face, hell I couldn’t see it. But I felt a sudden comfort from her in my groggy state. I watched her hands reach for my waist and instinctively I raised my arms towards her. To my surprise they were short, chubby even. What the hell…?

She pulled me into her chest and I felt a soft kiss press against my temple.

“It’s be alright my love,” she cooed. “I’m here, I’m here. So just keep quiet and rest okay. We’re going home. I’m gonna get you home.”

There was no way of protesting and besides, I felt self with her. She smelt of fresh flowers and her voice was so soothing. Quickly, we were on the move and despite her telling me to close my eyes I caught small glimpses of my cage. It was an egg-shaped capsule, small enough for a child with even more wires and machines connected through it. Along the walls were dozens of screens with words I couldn’t read placed next to a face I couldn’t make out.

There was a groggy stirring when then woman said, “close your eyes my love, please close your eyes.”

I nodded my head against the crook of her neck, doing the very best I could to sleep through the alarms when I heard a bang. I jumped, frightened by the sound and felt my heart race. Tears welled in my eyes as she soothed me once more making our way out of the room. Past the doorway my eyes gazed at the cloaked lump on the ground. A deep red stream, seeped from the pile but before I could peer any longer the woman began to sprint out into the hall.

The halls were just as dark and the alarms seemed to be louder. I couldn’t see a goddamn thing, forget make sense of any of it. All I knew was this woman clutched onto me for dear life, reassuring me the entire way that we would be okay. I couldn’t explain why but I gripped on tighter to her, choosing to believe whatever she said.

—

When I woke up in the morning I was more exhausted than usual. The moment my alarm when off I was shaken awake, the buzzing making my heart skip a beat. Instantly, I shut it off and threw myself back in my sheets. I’d take whatever lecture could come my way, I just couldn’t deal this morning. I need sometime to clear my head and get some actual sleep and luckily my roommates were pretty understanding when I told them I wasn’t feeling too good.

When I finally got up I headed straight to the shower got ready quickly just so I could make it on time for my Land Navigation class. My stomach grumbled but I could wait for lunch. Dressed in my rugby sweater and skirt I left my dorm, clutching my tablet and hoping I could make it in time.

“Hikari.”

I glanced back only to see Ven jogging up to me in a white dress shirt and our uniforms blazer undone. I gave him a warm smile, “hey.”

“Heard you didn’t get a goodnight’s sleep.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled with a shrug. “But I’m feeling a lot better now. Just needed a bit more rest.”

He nodded slowly, “well you didn’t miss much in class. I can send you today’s notes if you want?”

“I’d appreciate that, thank you!”

“Any time.”

Ven and I weren’t particularly close and to be honest, I’d never really been alone with him. Plus, him dating Namine didn’t exactly make us the best fit to grow any closer. As we walked together I couldn’t help but be curious if she’d ever spoken about me to him. What did he know? What did he think of me? Ven was just as kind as Sora so I hoped she hadn’t filled his mind with any bad ideas. She probably never even spoke about me to him, I was just being paranoid.

“Hikari?” Ven mumbled. I turned to look at him only to find his eyes unable to meet mine. His profile was exactly like Roxas’ from his curved nose bridge to the tip of his chin. I found myself blushing before turning away with a whispered, “mmhm?”

“Just what do you know about Vanitas?”

 _Strange question_ I thought and cocked a brow, “a lot.”

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, “like what?”

“Like enough.”

It was clear he was skeptical but I was more curious as to why he was concerned. Vanitas was still opening up and with all the trauma he’d been through there was no way I’d push him into telling me everything. I knew what I needed to and more important I liked what I knew so what was the issue?

“You should be careful,” Ven sighed. “I’m sure you see one side of him no one else does and that’s great but just be safe, okay? He’s a complicated guy and I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

My eyes narrowed, studying his expression and trying to contain my agitation. I didn’t know what it was about him or his girlfriend but the way they thought they could tell me what to do really had a way of getting under my skin. For Roxas, now this? I knew Ven was well-intentioned but it didn’t make me any less suspicious. I knew what I was doing and I was more than happy with my decision.

I readied myself to tell him exactly that when Sora leaped in front of us, excited for me to join him in class. I didn’t get the chance to talk to Ven any longer as he waved and walked off to his own lesson. My plan was to let it go for now and just focus on tonight but eventually I would have to talk to him about it.

—-

“I can’t believe I’ve got a mission so late!”

Roxas groaned as we made our way back to the dorms. The rest of my day had gone on pretty uneventful. Honestly I could barely pay attention to any of my classes as my mind was already buzzing with thoughts of tonight.

“Hey, Hikki? Hello?”

I blinked up as the blond, snapping out of my daze. He stared down at me perplexed, “what’s up with you? You been quiet all day.”

“Sorry, just got a lot on my mind,” that was necessarily a lie. As the hours ticked by the butterflies in my stomach fluttered excitedly. I was antsy and aloof but it wasn’t intentional. I wished I could think of anything else, be more present but it felt impossible.

“Is it your nightmares?”

“Not really…”

“Hm,” he narrowed his eyes before flashing a wolfish grin. “Well, let’s get dinner together and you can tell me all about it.”

Yikes, this wasn’t good. We shouldn’t have been alone together, especially for dinner but on top of that, not tonight. Not to mention talking to him about it was definitely not an option. I peered ahead, glad to find us turning into my hall.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” I forced a smile. “And I’ve got plans anyway.”

“You do?”

“Y-yeah,” my cheeks flushed as we approached my dorm. “With Vanitas.”

Instantly, his aura shifted. Just his name could set the blonde off. I’d already been lectured by Ven, I didn’t need to hear his opinion about Vani too. I turned my back on him and quickly punched in the code of my door, “anyway, I’ll see you after you mission. Night.”

Quickly, I rushed inside with an exasperated sigh. Roxas must have been annoyed but that was a problem I could deal with later. We’d come back to this topic and probably argue about it but today wasn’t the day for that. Tonight wasn’t the night for that. I was bursting at the seams with excitement and didn’t want anything to bring me down. Besides, I had so much to do and could barely figure out where to start.

Just then I felt a grumble of my stomach and knew what the first step was: food. I’d just have to find something light and then I could start getting ready. Tonight would be perfect.

—

It felt like I spent hours upon hours rummaging through all my clothes trying to find the perfect outfit. Mari had called and made a few suggestions but it was all too showy. If I was going to do this I wanted to do it as my most authentic self. So after a long hot shower consisting of through shaving and slather my body in perfumes and lotions I jumped right into the challenge.

As I flipped through my skirts my mind wandered back to Ven’s warning. I’d been trying to ignore it but it did no good. Honestly, I was offended. I wouldn’t be dating Vanitas if I didn’t know him all that well. He’d opened up to me in ways I’m sure he’d never opened up to anybody else. I just wished there was a way to get my friends to understand that. Maybe I could host a potluck or something? What about a group outing? We could hit up that dive bar again. I just needed them to know that he was a good guy. The past was in the past and the Vanitas I knew was who he truly was.

Shaking my head, I sighed and focused back on my search. It took about twenty minutes but I finally settled on the perfect look; an off the shoulder white knit sweater with long, cuffed sleeves and a pleated, high-waisted black, short skirt. It was perfect, down to the fresh pair of thigh-high white socks and simple black boots. It wasn’t too flashy and but not boring either and I could easily spice it up if I felt like I had to.

It may have been stupid but looking at my own reflection I felt instantly nervous. This was such a big step, one I couldn’t go back on. Was I making the right decision? Shit, no! I wouldn’t psych myself out. This is exactly was I wanted and I kept repeating the exact same sentiment as I applied a bit of makeup and pinned back my bangs with to simple white clips.

I wondered f he’d notice these tiny details, like the simple black choker around my neck, my nails painted in his favourite shade of red, or even that I’d curled and styled my hair similar like how it was on Halloween. The corners of my lips turned up into a soft smile; of course he would, Vanitas noticed everything. So when it came down to figure out to wear beneath these clothes I’d long ago had a piece selected; a simple laced, white bra set. I guess listening to Mari about buying some more clothes from Beau was a good idea after all.

It was nerve-wrecking to see myself so vividly in lingerie, especially with tonight’s events and I constantly had to clear my mind from the thought that these were the clothes I’d be losing my virginity in. Even now I was still battling with myself over this, both embarrassed and excited.

“No more second guessing,” I whispered to myself. If I didn’t leave now I’d never go so I grabbed my purse and coat and headed right out the door.

“Hikki!” Kairi squealed as I entered our living room. “You look adorable!”

Xion nodded, “he’s gonna love it. Still going with the surprise approach.”

“Yeah, is that okay?”

The two laughed when Xion answered, “if you think it’s okay then it’s okay. Your comfort is all that matters with all this.”

There was a knock at our door and Kairi rose from the couch to answer it, “just try and relax and have fun Hikari.”

Fun? Was this supposed to be fun? The butterflies spazzing in my stomach made me think otherwise.

“Kai, you ready—“

Roxas stood at our doorway, eyes glued to my figure. My heart raced as they took in each curve and I found myself wrapping my arms over my chest.

“You going out?”

“Yeah, I mean I told you I had plans, remember?”

“With Vanitas…” He scowled. “What’s the plan?”

“Huh?”

“What are you doing?”

Well this was awkward. Even though he was my closest friend there was no way I wanted to open up the door for us to talk about our sex lives with one another. That definitely wouldn’t fly with Vani. So I dug up a bit of a lie quickly, “just gonna stay in and hang out.”

“Hm,” it was clear by his glare he either don’t believe or didn’t approve. Well, it wasn’t up to Roxas, it was my decision and I couldn’t wait.

“Kairi, we should go.”

“Right!” She rose from the couch and rushed to give me a hug, whispering, “you better give me all the dirty details!”

I giggled and shrugged her off, I didn’t know about all that. With a quick glance of my phone I realized I was running late, “oh! I should head out too.”

“Have fun!” She grinned as Xion added, “be safe!”

Nodding, I made my war to the doorway, Roxas had yet to budge. I pouted and he rolled his eyes but stepped aside. He could be as pouty as he wanted, still didn’t change my mind.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

—-

My heart felt to beat faster with the chime of each floor the elevator passed.

8…9…10…

The lights inside were dim but I could see my nervous reflexion in the mirrored walls. My cheeks were already burning bright and I hadn’t even gotten to his floor. This was crazy. I liked Vanitas, I liked him a lot. I wanted to do this, I had to.

The doors slid open on the thirteenth floor and I released the breath I’d been holding. My heels stepped on the hard marble and I heard the elevator doors slide shut. I took a deep breath before making my way down the hall. I just had to keep telling myself I wanted this. I’d talked to my friends, got a new outfit, and it made sense. My feelings for him were getting out of control. He’s all I could think about and I’d already had so many other firsts with him, why not this?

An odd purring stopped me in my tracks. Tilting my head back, I noticed a cozy Yuna resting next to a potted plant.

“Yunnie?” I gathered the little escape-artist of a cat and nestled her against my chest. She was always so warm and cuddly, honestly better than her roommate in that regard. “How’d you get out this time?”

She purred and lazily dangled one of my earrings. Chuckling, I headed back to his loft. In a way I was coming with two surprises now.

As I approached the last door of the hall I heard a murmur from it. The closer I drew, the louder it got. Only a few feet away, I could hear heavy breaths, panting really, all coming from the raven-haired boy.

“…’Kari.”

I froze. Was he—

“Fuck, Hikari.”

Oh, he most definitely was. Moving slowly and silently, I listened in to hear him grunt my name louder, completely breathless and lost in his fantasy. I was glowing to hear him think of me like that, especially when he was all on his own. After how I’d abruptly stopped us the last time due to my own insecurities I worried about how we’d progress from that point intimately. Even though my cheeks were flushed I was happy to know I hadn’t necessarily ruined everything.

Yuna let out a low groan and I set her down. She strolled through the crack of the door and I followed closely behind her.

“Sounds like you—“

“Harder, Vanitas.”

The blood in my veins chilled. My eyes rounded to the sight of the raven-haired boy beneath a throw blanket thrusting himself deeper into a pale-skinned girl with long black hair and heavy bangs.

“Anything for my light,” he moaned. “Anything, Hikki…”

My throat clenched. A thick bile burned in my stomach the room began to tilt.

Yuna hissed before meowing loudly. I could feel her against my leg but with my hands over my gaping mouth I couldn’t attend to her. Not when who I thought may have been my boyfriend was pounding himself into another girl.

“Yuna, stop…” he groaned with each pump. “I’m busy.”

The girl’s eyes fluttered open and from behind his flexed arm and her honey brown eyes met mine.

“Vanitas!”

Her slender fingers pushed at his shoulders, awakening him from whatever trance he was in.

“Hey, why’d you stop the—“ He followed her eyes back to mine and paled with a look of horror.

“Hikari…” he whispered my name sharply.

My eyes were glossy and my heart shattered, “Vanitas?”

He shot up from the couch and quickly grabbed his jeans. The girl drew the blanket to her chest, her expression unreadable. I wasn’t going to stay and try to decode it. I spun on my heels and out the door. I could hear him call after me but his voice fell on deaf ears.

I ran for the emergency exit and down the endless stairwell. My body was on autopilot as my mind replayed the image of him inside her, moaning my name. Each step felt like I was plunging further and further. My breaths were heavy and my knees weak but I couldn’t stop.

My name echoed through the staircase but I only raced harder. I hit the lowest floor and searched for the door out. The nonemergency exit was only a hallway away so I burst through and into the frigid night.

I gasped in the alley of the side of his building. It was empty, only the scurries of raccoons digging through a large trashcan. But they were so loud, just as loud as the streets full of cars and people looking for their kicks in the night. Everything was so fucking loud. Had the sound maximized? How? I could hear everything but the neons of the night were blurs. My vision was clouded and my body was frail. I pressed my hand to the brick of the building to stabilize myself.

I had to get out of here. The longer I stayed the worse I felt. This place was cursed, it had to be fucking cursed. He was cursed.

I clasped my hand over my mouth once more. How could I have been so foolish? Everyone was suspicious of him, everyone knew what he was like but did I listen? God, I’d fought for him, I was ready to lose Roxas for him!

Roxas.

My tears hit the pavement. Sniffling, I knew I had to hold it together. I had to find him and tell him everything. He was right, he’d been right the entire time. Roxas had known and tried to protect me but I pushed him away and look what I’d done, look what I’d seen.

“Hikari!”

I could hear him come tumbling out of the building but refused to meet his eye. Vanitas’ voice was desperate, “it’s not—“

I whisked my head back at him, the tears sizzled upon my cheeks as the anger set in. He approached me but I straightened in my stance and took a step back.

“No.”

My voice was hoarse, dark and he paused. I watched his brows knit as if he was trying to find lies to tell me.

“I didn’t mean for you to see that,” he muttered. “It was nothing, she means absolutely nothing. I just—“

“So you cheated…” I cut him off. “With someone you don’t care about? You hurt me to sleep with someone who doesn’t matter?”

“No!” His shoulders tensed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. That’s the last—-“

I was trembling in anger, “then why did you cheat!?”

“I didn’t cheat!”

Disbelief struck my face, “I _saw_ you.”

“No,” he growled. “Fuck, Hikari! We aren’t even together! How is this cheating?”

Waves of shock knocked the air out of my chest. We weren’t… No. He was a liar! We were! We may have never talked about it but I’d been faithful, I’d given myself to him. I was ready to fall in 100% tonight. And now he justified this pain because we never made it official? I had to get out of here.

Clutching my chest I turned my back to head down the alley.

“Hikari, wait!” He’d broke me, tore me into a million pieces and now he had the nerve to try and make me stay?

There was a heat on my wrist, a warm grasp that I knew led back to the raven-haired boy. My mind went blank but I burned in his touch. And now he would burn in mine.

I snatched my wrist back and glared towards him.

His eyes narrowed with confusion, “your eyes— Ugh!”

Vanitas collapsed to the ground grasping onto his chest. He heaved and rocked against pavement but I wouldn’t stop. I was ablaze, fingers twitching and eyes empty as they remained on the shell of a man cradling onto himself on the floor.

“H-Hikari!” He wheezed.

My arms raised and his body followed. His back painfully arched in a snap as his legs lifted from the ground. His chest was exposed and in the center burned a bright light from within. He shook and cried from the pain but my fingers only trembled with anger. Thick, vicious tears pooled in my eyes and I stared into the sky to blink them back.

Then I saw her.

The girl he was with stood at his balcony staring down at the scene below. I couldn’t see her face but just feeling her stare down at me, nothing but a minuscule ant beneath her made me drop the boy. He fell to the ground with a thud and I ran out of the alley.

—-

My feet carried me faster and faster down the halls. I’d never been so agile but also so out of control. I was hyperventilating. The running didn’t help and I grew more lightheaded with each turn down the halls.

I didn’t matter. I had to see him.

Once I was with him I’d find solace. Once he was by my side I could finally shed these tears that were burning my eyes. Everything would be fine as soon as I saw him. As soon as he looked at me and reassured me that I was fine. That as my friend, my best friend, he knew better than anyone here I would be fine.

I couldn’t believe it on my own, I couldn’t make sense of it. I just had to see him. He knew what to do. He knew how it felt. He knew the pain of being no one to someone so important. He knew how much it hurt to have your identity stolen and for you to be replaced; taken off the shelf and thrown out for a shiner, newer model. He knew.

Finally, I spotted his door and slid to it across the hardwood floor. I grasped for it but it did no good and I tumbled to the ground.

I was shaking, my entire body hadn’t stopped shaking since I saw it. The taxi driver had asked so many times if I was cold but I couldn’t speak to him, I just shook my head and blanked out through the entire ride.

My palms found the ground and slowly I rose to my knees. I had to stand, I had to be strong. He would know how. He would know.

Crawling to the door I slammed a fist into the wood. The thud was hard but nobody came. I did it again and nothing. Had he given up on me? Had he replaced me for someone new too?

My fists slammed into the wood, a panicked breath leaving my lips. It trembled violently but still nothing compared to me.

“Roxas…!” My voice was cracking. His name, even his fucking name couldn’t set me free.

The thumping in my chest found the rhythm of the slams of the front door. I called for him, begged and felt my eyes burn. I couldn’t stop it, the rivers streaming down my face and the fragility of my voice calling out his name.

“Roxas! Roxas, please!” I couldn’t make it stop, only he could. He knew how! “Roxas, I need you… Please… Roxas!”

The weight of the door escaped my grasp and I collapsed onto the wooden floor. My hands were the only thing propping me up but my arms wouldn’t stay still.

I felt warmth on my shoulders and a voice call my name. He was here, he knew.

“Rox—“

“Hikki?” Sora’s ocean blue eyes met mine, his hair a mess and concern overtook his face. “What happened? Are you—“

“Sora…” my hands lifted to his face, caressing his jaw as I tried to find the words. “Sora he…”

A hand found my lips. My body was working against me to reveal what I saw. Maybe if I just didn’t say it, maybe it didn’t happen.

His fingers tilted my face towards his, a sweet smile spread on his lips.

“It’s alright. The guards could show up. I’m gonna bring you inside, okay?”

I could only nod, muffling my cries. He tucked an arm under the crook of my back and the other beneath my knees. I felt weightless in his arms as he carried me over to the navy couch. He placed me down gently before grabbing a nearby blanket and placing it over me with a grin.

“Be right back.”

I watched him in his kitchen, fumbling over mugs and going through cabinets. My eyes found the subtle vapours of a tall kettle and I realized he was probably about to settle in for the night. His back was bare as his muscles flexed while he worked away.

“I was gonna have this white chocolate I got from Namine,” he prattled. “It’s pretty sweet, like figuratively and literally but you’ll really like it.”

In a moment’s time he approached and handed me a red mug filled to the brim with marshmallows. He popped one from his own blue mug into his mouth before taking a sip and then settling back on the couch.

“Try it, it’s delicious.”

I couldn’t stop a small smile from creeping to my lips and took a sip. The heat of white chocolate simmered down my throat. The warmth and sweetness was a welcome sensation compared to how empty I felt. I lifted one of my giant marshmallows and nibbled on it.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you!” He replied. “If I didn’t get someone else to drink this stuff with me my teeth would have fallen out by now.”

I nodded slowly when I felt the warmth of his hand over the black crocheted blanket on my thigh.

“Talk to me,” he said softly. “I don’t care what about… Just talk to me okay?”

Those words brought the tears back. I tried to lose them in another drink of my hot chocolate but the cloudy mist of heat made it worse.

“Sora… He… He…”

Sora’s arms sheathed my shoulders. He’d pulled me closer to him. So close I could smell the fresh citrus of his skin and vanilla of his shampoo. It had to be Roxas’, it smelt just like his hair.

“It just us here, okay?”

That statement forced it all out. He pulled the cup from my hands as the tears and story spilled from my lips. I told him all of it; how I’d gone there to see him wanting to move our relationship forward, how he screamed my name as he plowed a girl I’d never seen, and how he chased me but I’d gotten him to stop. Sora didn’t interrupt me once. He just held me, held me so close in his arms, the vanilla dangling in the air that when I shut my eyes I saw Roxas. When my voice cracked, he handed me my mug and when it got too much, he rubbed my back as I cried. He was just there and its what I needed.

I wasn’t sure what time it was but as I went on, as the tears flowed, I grew dizzy. He was so kind though. He’d grabbed me one of his shirts and suggested I change and sleep there. Soon enough I was lying on his bare chest, head in the crook of his neck and abs tight against me clinging on to him. We were dozing off, we should have went to bed. But my eyelids were heavy and he was so warm. He was so gentle. And he looked just like him, smelled like him. Even though Vanitas was his exact double, his kindness, his blue eyes, they were all Roxas. He made missing him just the littlest bit easier and as he squeezed me in his arms, whispering about how I didn’t deserve this, how he thought the best of me, I found myself drift away into a deep slumber.


	27. Should Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kairi and Roxas return from their mission to a shocking sight which leads to further turmoil for Hikari as she comes to terms with last night's discovery.

“What the fuck guys!?”

I tensed, cringing awake to the dim light and harsh voice. I pried my eyes open gradually but they burned and shut again. I had to get up, I had to find the noise. The smell of a fruity citrus brushed my nose. Odd. My fingers felt for my pillow but it was hard. The tips pressed deeper in the smooth fabric but stopped upon hitting a strange nub.

I felt myself rise with a gasp not my own and quickly fall back.

What?

“Hikari…”

The chest vibrated at the sound of my name and I knew I had to investigate. I rubbed my eyes and slowly sat up. Something shifted between my legs. It bucked forward, pushing me back in. I tried to straddle it, get a better balance and peered through my half-open eyelids: tan skin, lighter than mine, of a built chest, slim neck, cut jaw, locks of chestnut brown hair.

“Sora…?”

“Guys! Seriously!?”

In a moment our eyes snapped to Kairi and Roxas standing at the doorway blazing red, infuriated to their core.

“Kairi?” Sora mumbled.

“Roxas?” I whispered.

“Okay now that you’ve reintroduced the cast,” Roxas spat sarcastically. “Do you mind filling us in on what the hell is going on here?”

I cocked a brow, “going on—?“

“Don’t play dumb!” Kairi’s tone was vicious. She’d never spoken to me like that and it shook me awake. “I was suspicious but I thought I was just going crazy.”

“Going crazy?” Sora repeated. “Kairi, what are you talking about?”

“You like her!” Her fists clenched. “It’s so freaking obvious. You’re always texting and laughing and I knew it, I just didn’t want to believe it.”

“Kairi, no—“

“I saw you two,” her eyes welled with tears. “In Atlantica, there was a spark. You two must be meant for each other… God, why couldn’t you have just told me? Why go behind my back and cheat!?”

Cheat.

The word unlocked yesterday’s events in my mind and the memories spiralled. I clasped my hand over my mouth. The room began to spin, my heart was racing and the tears stung once again.

“Are you really crying right now?” She flared. “Are you really going to fucking cry, Hikari?”

I shook my head. I had to speak, I had to say something. But I couldn’t find the words again.

“Kairi, stop!” Sora’s voice was stern, a tone I barely heard from the goofball. “Nothing happened! Vanitas… Hikki walked in on him with another girl.”

I burst, clutching on my chest and Sora grabbed me before I could fall back onto him. He sat me up, rubbing my back but I couldn’t stop. I just couldn’t make it stop.

“Hikki,” Kairi rushed to my side and guided me from her boyfriend. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“Christ…” I heard another set of steps approach. “I’m sorry, Hikari.”

Roxas’ voice came from Sora’s side and yanked myself from Kairi’s arms and over Sora’s lap to find his eyes.

“I came looking for you!” My voice trembled. “I was wrong… You knew, only you knew how it felt. I needed you, I wanted you… A-and I couldn’t find you, Roxas.”

He bit his lip in frustration as he tried to hide the pain in his eyes. I didn’t blame him for this, I didn’t.

“It’s what I deserve,” my head dropped. “It’s what I deserve for not listening to you. You warned me… You tried to save me. You always try to save me and I don’t listen. It’s my fault he screwed her, my fault I walked in on them, my fault we got in a fight.”

My lips quivered, my voice just a breath, “it’s my fault I’m broken.”

Kairi dragged me back to her and I collapsed into her lap.

“You’re not broken,” she protested but I couldn’t respond. She rubbed my back and muffled my cries. It was pathetic but I was just hurting so fucking bad. I couldn’t control it. My body felt as if it was failing to repair itself and my mind was disintegrating.

She lifted me slowly from her thighs but I clutched onto her for stability.

“I can’t do this, I can’t, Kairi. I can’t,” I was hyperventilating in her grasp.

“I know Hikari,” her eyes were so kind. “You won’t do it alone. We’re all here for you. We’ll protect you.”

“It just hurts so bad,” I wept, clutching onto her lap. “So bad I think… I think I could die.”

“Oh, Hikari…”

A chortle escaped my lips but I brought my hand to my mouth. “That sounds crazy, doesn’t it? So dramatic…”

“No,” I felt her arms pull me in once again. “It literally just happened. You’re allowed to be dramatic and crazy.”

I nodded slowly but gripped tighter, “but _why_? Why cheating? I could take anything… Not that.”

“Because he’s selfish,” she answered. It was such an easy simple answer too. But it wasn’t enough. “But he’s gone now. And we’re here. And we’ll keep you safe. I don’t know why somebody would do anything like that but I do know they’d have to be an ugly—“

“How can he be ugly, Kai?” I wailed. “He looks just like Sora and Roxas and they’re hot!”

I gestured towards the boys on the other side of me burning bright red she she giggled and pulled me into her shoulder.

“An ugly _person_ , Hikki,” she stroked my hair. “Internally. And that’s not something you can just fix.”

But that’s where she was wrong. At least then. I thought I could fix him, make him into the man I always knew he was meant to be. I had all this faith in these foolish emotions and look where it led me. I’d truly believed that I could love Vanitas into being kind, open and help him through all his problems. And I believed all that because when he looked at me he made it feel possible.

“But I wanted to try.”

“It’s not something you should _have_ to fix either, Hikki. In a relationship you should make each other better, not be working to fix one another.”

I shrugged, I couldn’t argue with that. I couldn’t argue with anything anyone ever said because at the end of the day, I’d allowed myself to be foolishly used and this torment was the consequence.

“Come on,” she whispered. “Let’s get you home. We’ll have a girls’ day, okay?”

I nodded slowly but I doubted anything could take me out of this mood. Tears were still streaming down my face, although silently, and I was too ashamed to meet anyone’s eyes; especially Roxas. He’d been awfully quiet but really what could he say? He was probably disappointed in me, ashamed even. Hell, I felt that way about myself.

We left the boys’ dorm quietly and were greeted to Xion as soon as we got home. Kairi must have filled her in because she already had ice cream thawing out on the counter. God, since when had I become such a cliche? Still, my stomach rumbled and I could go for a spoonful of the butterscotch flavoured treat. It was much better than eating anything solid.

Once we settled on the couch, the girls on either side of me, I went over the story once more and unfortunately broke down yet again. Xion held my hands as Kairi rubbed my back but I was still a blubbering mess.

“I would have done anything for him,” I muttered. “I didn’t care what it was, anything he’d ask I would have done it.”

“I know, Hikki,” Xion sighed. “He never deserved you. What an asshole.”

“I tried my best you know? To be a good girlfriend… It was my first time and I still managed to ruin it.”

“No, that’s on him,” Kairi declared. “He made his decision, he made the mistake.”

I was about to rebut when the familiar chime of my phone rang. Kairi reached over for my back and shifted through it, “that might be Mari, I messaged her to fill her in. I didn’t want you to have to go over it all again so soon.”

I nodded slowly and scooped a bite of my ice cream. Suddenly, Kairi huffed and Xion and I turned to her as she rolled her eyes.

“Idiot,” she muttered.

“What is it?” Xion asked.

Kairi held the phone towards us with a glare, “guess.”

My screen was bombarded with missed calls and texts from Vanitas, all I’d managed to ignore in my hysteric state. He’d had to been calling and messaging me all night and in a split second, a rush of guilt fell over my shoulders.

“Vanitas,” I mumbled. “I should call him bac—“

Xion held her hand infant of my face, “absolutely not. Kairi—“

“Already on it,” she flipped the phone back to her view and typed away eagerly at it.

“What’re you doing? What’s going on?”

“I’m making sure he doesn’t come around here and hurt you again,” she answered. “And blocking his number or good measure.”

A twinge of pain struck my chest, “but Vanitas, he needs me. What if its—“

“No ‘Kari,” Xion frowned. “If he needed you, cared about you, he never would have hurt you like this. But he did and now he’s probably just going to try and manipulate his way back onto your good side.”

Kairi nodded, “he knows you’re vulnerable and if there was ever a time to get you to forgive him it would be now.”

They had a point. The moment I saw his name I immediately wanted to jump into action and speak to him. I wanted to believe more than anything that this was all a misunderstanding and we were still in a relationship but my mind could have never made up the sight I saw.

I bowed my head in my hands and shook it slowly, “I just wish I could forget it. It’s on loop in my head.”

“I don’t know about forgetting,” Xion rose from her seat and headed down the hall to her room. “But I got something that’ll make you feel a bit better.”

That felt impossible nothing could lift my mood and I was even more sure of that when she returned with two glass bottles of vodka.

“Where’d you get that?” Kairi asked.

“Just a little token from Tinker,” she winked and headed to the kitchen to grab ice and glasses. “You need a break Hikki and nothing will get your mind off all this like a cool drink.”

Shrugging, I replied, “sure.”

Kairi cocked a brow, “you sure?”

“Yeah, why not? I just wanna stop crying. I’m giving myself a headache.”

Xion giggled as she joined us back in the living room and passed out the glasses before setting the bottles down. I twirled my cup in my hands, eyes on the blocks of ice glistening inside. If alcohol was what it took to get a moments piece I’d down the whole bottle if I got the chance.

“To you,” she grinned, holding her glass up. “Through all the bullshit you’re still standing.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Kairi cheered and clinked our glasses together. I smirked and took a swig of the bubbly cocktail. It was rather sweet, Xion must have mixed it with something. Either way, I leant back on the couch sipping away.

—

_“You just made the worst mistake and you’ll regret it darling!”_

_“‘Cause once you give and then you take—“_

_“You’ll only end up wanting!”_

The living room span in circles, or maybe it was me, who knew? What I did know was I was atop our coffee table, barefooted and chanting along with my friends songs off a random playlist of heartbreak anthems Kairi had found. We’d already managed to empty out one of Xion’s bottles and were a third of the way done with the next with no sign of stopping.

 _“I wanna be your lover, I don’t wanna be your friend!”_ My voice croaked as I clutched onto my chest. _“You don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone my dear—“_

 _“So tell me that you love me again!”_ The girls cried along, swaying to the music. It was loud, we were loud, off-key and slurring all our words but none of it mattered. The pounding in my chest only made me want to scream louder. I 2wanted to throw all of these god awful feelings away, all of these stupid emotions and never feel a thing again.

 _“So tell me that you love me again!”_ Tears streamed down my cheeks and I wasn’t sure what they were filled with by I hid them behind my glass with another chug. I could barely taste the alcohol on my tongue, I’d been throwing it back like water. I just needed the fuel to drive away these thoughts.

“Boys are nothing but demons!” Xion slurred as she refilled my cup. “Good for nothing assholes!”

“Especially he who shall not be named,” Kairi sat atop the couch munching on a bag of popcorn we’d made earlier. “I hate him, I hate him so much. Who the hell does he think he is? Who the hell do any of them think they are!?”

“We should throw them away,” I leant down and pulled a red string of liquorice from one of our bowls of candy. “Just gather them all up and dump them on another planet.”

Xion snorted, “another universe.”

We cackled wth laughter and continued singing and swaying. Time meant nothing like this and neither did our words or any consequences that may come from them. I was as fluid as my emotions, one moment worried about being over dramatic and the next writhing in my misery. It was insane, almost as if I could feel my heart break, like I could see it cracking with every ticking minute.

“I can’t believe I thought I was falling for him” I scoffed. “I wanted to sleep with him guys. He would have been my first.”

“‘Least you dodged a bullet,” Xion tossed herself in our sofa, skipping drinking from her glass and rather sticking a straw straight into the bottle. “He can never say he took everything from you.”

“You’re right… Still, I thought I could really love him guys. I wanted to love him.” Oh God, no! The tears welled in my eyes before slithering down my cheeks. “I was gonna say it to him, right at the moment I gave him all of me. I was gonna say ‘Vanitas, I love y—“

“Hikari?”

I whipped my head behind me to see a distraught Roxas. He barged right in, locked the door behind him and marched straight ahead to me on our coffee table. God he could move fast, and was it me or was he spinning too?

“What’s going on?”

“We’re just having a little fun, Roxas,” Kairi hiccupped. “Hikki just needed to forget for a little bit.”

He glared back at her before sighing, “well the party’s over. You guys keep making all this noise and you’re gonna get guards called on you.”

“Screw the guards!” Xion whined from the couch. Roxas only rolled his eyes before turning down the volume of our speaker and gathering up our dishes. He was probably right, maybe we should have toned it down. But God it just felt so good to lash out for a bit.

“Alright, now you.”

Before I could stop him, the blonde hoisted me up from the table and cradled me to his chest. I could feel my face redden as he marched us down the hall and straight away to my room.

“I’m putting her to bed, you guys should probably rest up too cause tomorrow’s hangover’s bound to be a trip.”

When we entered my room he set me down on my bed and told me to change into some fresh clothes while he grabbed something from the kitchen. I went with Lucas’ raggedy old shirt before sitting upon my bed, hugging my calves and resting my cheek against my knees. This was the first moment of quiet I’d really had since yesterday’s chaos. When I was livid and falling apart at my discovery it had felt like a thousand voices were chanting all at once. But now it was just me staring out the window at the early sunset.

My eyes watered and instantly I hid my face away. I hadn’t been alone in so long, at least it felt that way. And now things were just like they’d began but now I looked even more foolish.

What kind of idiot got cheated on? Everyone had warned me, even Ven! But I let myself be fooled by a fucking con artist. It didn’t matter what the others said, I deserved all this. Hell, Roxas had even confirmed it. He didn’t have to say it but I saw it in his eyes, in his actions. He could barely look at me and had hardly said a word. He must have been so disappointed, ashamed to have even known me.

There was a rapping at my door before it creaked open, “Hikki? Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” the hoarseness of my voice was no surprise and I was pleased to see Roxas return with a cool glass of water. He handed it to me before placed two small red pills in my hand.

“Here, it’ll help you feel a bit better tomorrow.”

Nodding slowly I downed the pills with a swig of water. The refreshing drink was cool on my tongue, a welcoming feeling.

“How you feeling?”

“I’m… feeling,” I muttered. I had no idea or desire to answer that question. It was like one moment I was shocked, then angry, then sad, then feeling guilty; my emotions were all over the spectrum.

“Yeah, it’ll probably be like that for a while.”

My eyes travelled to see the sorrowful look on his face before turning back to the ground. He would know how this felt but suddenly, I was afraid to talk about it with him. It felt selfish and silly to even think my pain over a relationship that had barely begun was comparable to what he’d been though.

So instead I handed him the empty glass and laid back in my bed, “thank you.”

“‘Course.”

This silence between us was deafening. I was curled up in my bed, eyes empty looking to a wall and he sat on the very edge as if he was afraid to get close to me. I’d never been fragile to his touch before but he could barely look at me, forget putting his hands anywhere on my body.

“Namine was right about me.”

That got his attention,” what?”

“She said I’m broken… Said you and I don’t work and I should keep my distance.”

Roxas stared into my eyes, a flare of anger in those blue orbs. “She _what_?”

Guilt immediately washed over me. I should have never said anything but I couldn’t stop. Every thought, every tear, every emotion just came gushing out of me. I wanted to hold back but it felt impossible. I didn’t want him to be mad, not at her, it was my fault. I was fucking up all over again.

“Don’t say anything.”

“Hi—“

“No,” I warned. “Just… Just let me handle it.”

His brows furrowed but he gave me a short nod. I let out a sigh of relief; maybe it was exhaustion that was making me crazy. I’d probably spend all of tomorrow in bed at this rate. My forehead throbbed and I placed my palm to it, the physical effects of my outburst were finally setting it.

“What happened between her and I,” he mumbled. “It’s not your fault, okay?”

I shrugged, he could say that all he wanted but no ounce of my being believed him. It all anybody had been saying: _it’s not your fault._ If that was true then why was I suffering due to somebody else’s mistake. Where was the fairness in me because the one heartbroken and crying so hard my eyes burned.

“He hid everything from me,” I whimpered, turning to look at my bookcase once more. “Absolutely everything and I never questioned any of it because I trusted him.”

I felt the palm of his hand stroke my hair and sighed into his touch. It wasn’t much but it did feel nice. He was always so warm, so comforting, I wanted him to be around all the time. Maybe ifI’d just stayed with him at Tinker… Man, that was probably the beginning of the end, huh? I’d run to a cheater and he’d finally moved on. Tessa, right? The pretty blonde those girls talked about in the change room? She was slender and tall, closer to his type. But if he was with her, was this okay?

Guilt struck me instantly and I mumbled, “would your new girlfriend be kay with this?”

“Huh?”

“Tessa, the girl from Tinker.”

I peeked up at him, taken aback by the confusion of his creased brows before he smirked. “How do you know her name?”

Blushing, I faced the wall once again, “you mentioned it once, you must have forgot.”

“Hm,” he probably didn’t believe but continued to stroke my hair. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, she was nice but we just didn’t vibe all that well.”

“Hm.”

I didn’t know how to feel about that, I probably shouldn’t have felt anything. He wasn’t mine after all. Why was this even on my mind? I’d just been thrown for a loop in my own relationship and here I was thinking about his. What if that’s why Vanitas had cheated? What if we just didn’t _vibe_ anymore and instead of dumping me he just found somebody else? Maybe I was too pathetic to leave. Maybe he pitied me enough to stay.

My eyes strung and I threw my head into my pillow. The tears were bad, already shedding when I thought about what Vanitas and I had. My bed squeaked and soon enough I felt a warmth over my shoulders. Roxas… was holding me? He pulled me in closer to his chest and I fumbled to find an excuse to leave his embrace but I was weak to his touch.

“I wanted him to meet Lucas,” I mumbled into the crook of his neck. “I wanted him to see my room and try my favourite foods. I wanted all of that for us.”

I could feel Roxas nod as my weeping took over the silence between us. “We were gonna be so happy,” I continued. “It was going to be hard but I just knew we’d be happy.”

My body trembled as I gently lifted my head from his shoulder and watched his blue eyes fill with sorrow. I was so ashamed, so broken and I just couldn’t stop crying.

“I would have done anything, gone anywhere… I know it sounds crazy but Vanitas made me feel… He made me…” I choked and my hands curled against his chest. I’d become a mess of tears and confessions, spewing out all I had in me.

“I wanted to love him, Roxas!” I croaked. “More than anything… I wanted to look at Vanitas and say _‘I love you’_.”

The words clenched at my heart just as I scoffed, “I’m such an idiot.”

“No, Hika—“

“No, Roxas!” I glared up at him with glassy eyes. “I am! I let myself get carried away with him! I could have lost everything, even you all for what? It was right in front of me, all the signs and you all told me, especially you but I still let myself be deceived.”

“But that’s not—“

“It _is_ my fault! Just say it Roxas! Tell me it’s my fault! Tell me I caused this! Stop trying to protect me; everyone knows it!” My heart raced and I only cried harder as I begged him to chastise me. The blame was weighing me down and I was buckling under it but it was what I deserved. All of this could have been avoided if I’d just opened my fucking eyes!

“I was so blind to all of it. He wanted to keep everything a secret, not even take pictures together… He was hiding me away, For what? Because he was so ashamed of being with me? Am I that bad?”

Roxas clasped his hands by my jaw and pulled me in closer. I could feel his breath against my lips when he whispered, “no, never. Angel, no. Don’t ever say that, never. Don’t you dare fucking say that.”

With widened eyes I stared into those ocean blues with shock. Even now, he was still protecting me, even when I told him not to. Somehow through everything he still saw some good in me. His misplaced kindness, his purity, his inability to judge… Even now he gave it to me.

“Why wasn’t it you, Roxas?” My hands crept onto his still caressing my face. “Why couldn’t I say it to you?”

“What?”

My fingers gripped on tighter when I finally managed to cry out, “why couldn’t I say: _Roxas, I love you_?”

Our eyes rounded and held only on each other. I could hear the subtle tapping of rain against my window in the background but his silence was deafening. The shock on his face said it all, I’d don too much, I’d been stupid and reckless all over again. My toes tingled, tempted to leap off this bed and run and just keep running until I couldn’t. But even I was too shocked by my own words. I had to say something, take it back, apologize.

Roxas blinked, once then twice and before I knew it he had my pressed tightly to his chest in a tender hug. Hesitation and confusion his me first but then his familiar smell filled my nose and his soft skin took me back to a sweeter time.

In moments I was wallowing and weeping against him, screaming into his clothes and clutching on so tight my fingers went numb.

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE:
> 
> Hello reader(s)!
> 
> Please Read, Review, Follow! All forms of criticism are welcome.


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